What is my future with "her"?

[donjuan]

Hi everyone,

I have consulted the Yi a lot lately, but not with anything that I thought was worth inquiring about. But now I have - and I would appreciate some help.

Here is the situation (please, no judgements). I am recently separated. I have fallen for a woman who is in a failing marriage (it was almost dead when we met, she has told me that i was not the cause of it failing). I asked the Yi "What is my future with "her"?

Answer: 37.3 changing to 42.

I take it to mean that she sees me as part of her family - a good sign? But I understand that line 3 usually means bad things - the worst state of progressing through the hexagram. 42 I take as a positive sign - my relationship will go through an increase?! (I hope).

I would appreciate any insight anyone can offer.

From a truly lovesick guy,

Don.

 

[nina]

Hi Don, I am somehow unexperienced in interpreting readings for others, so you may want to take my words with a pinch of salt but i'd love to give it a try...

I wonder whether line 3 reflects the current situation, in the sense that line 3 is the level where it gets from the inside to the outside in the structure of the hexagram, and this phase of the process is not easy. 37 is about "Family, Clan", ie. belonging, and in this line, there is scolding inside the family (in her marriage?), there is giggling (but not a warm one) and individualism wins over the sense of belonging that characterises 37, with everyone pursuing their own goals (also maybe meaning her pursuing her own goals outside her family, ie. with you).

To me, the "regrets" are to do with the fact that one may be too slow in adapting into what the new situation is, and there could be much back and forth with her being married and still attracted to you. So I have the feeling that the line is telling you that the future may hold some agitated phases, with her (or you) going back and forth.

42 then is the reflection of a process in the background that entails much energies boiling up and entails rearrangement of the forces on presence, meaning that you both may have to rebalance the distribution of powers in the relationship.
I hope it somehow makes sense, I am translating and adapting from a French I-ching interpretation book, that is great but does not exist in English, as far as I know. Best of luck.

Nina

 

[bruce]

Nina, love your interpretation of line 3. Independence within a supposedly tightly knitted group is an image I hadn't considered before.

I have, however, considered that even irreverent laughter, if honest, is better within a family than false piety.

 

[donjuan]

Hi Nina and Bruce,

Thank you so much for your feedback! I will let you know how things go!

Much appreciated!

Don

 

[waveringdragon]

i have to more or less agree with nina on this, to me 37.3 is most certainly about creating a situation where each individual involved has complete freedom of being, or at least where each individual involved clearly understands the limitations upon their individual freedom, one must be strict about this, any laxity that allows any individual to unduly impose upon another will cause problems in the future, likewise any lack of clarity will cause problems in the future, it's a very positive reading if it's guidelines are followed, if before you go any further with this relationship you sit down with this woman and between you create a framework for your relationship whereby you both enjoy as much freedom as possible and you both clearly understand the limitations upon your freedom that prevent you from imposing upon each other unduly then you will both be of benefit and increase to each other, i really like 37.3,

hope this helps,
all the best,
paul