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What to Believe - 25.3

adarkana

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-Discovered an unfamiliar follicle in my bathroom, decidedly female.

-Asked the I Ching for insight into his precise degree of innocence/guilt & received Hexagram 25, line 3.

The I Ching is having a rich time with me on this one. I've even discovered a translation that refers to Hexgram #25 as "Detangling"!

I appreciate the replies received to the (earlier, slightly more elaborate) version of this post. With or without the I Ching, there is no alternative but to drop drop drop it.
 
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Trojina

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:rofl: wow thats a classic "i discovered an unfamiliar follicule in my bathroom" and the Y i gave you a humourous answer IMO, someones loss, of a hair, was your gain. I mean the wanderer could have brushed against your coat in the street or it could be a friends or anyones, hmm and they are now minus one hair and you are the proud owner of it 25.3

38.6 says you will come to see your suspicions are unfounded, that him who you now see as a dirty rotten liar, a pig, is indeed innocent.

For the record I find all kinds of hairs in my bathroom that certainly don't look like mine or anyone I know that uses my bathroom - hairs just seem to fly around and stick to things, i mean theres alot of it about.
 

willowfox

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Hex 25.3 says his innocence is meet with disbelief but the problem was caused by a passerby, so he has done nothing wrong.
 

willowfox

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Hex 38.6 is telling you to stop accusing your boyfriend as he has done nothing wrong, you are putting to much into something that never happened, your suspicions are groundless, let it go.
 

my_key

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One day last week I thought I saw a whole heap of hairs in the shower....... but when I got out and put on my glasses and could see properly I realised they were rabbits. :rofl:

The old ones are the best !!!!!!!
 

adarkana

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Many months of later I concede these interpretations were correct, if the evidence prima facie inconclusive. I never found anything in his behavior or otherwise to indicate guilt.

At the time of this writing we are completely out of love & I couldn't care less either way. At the time of the posting it mattered to me hugely, and I'd even say the incident accelerated the failure of our relationship. I didn't trust him before this incident & trusted him increasingly less thereafter: though in fact he's likely the most loyal boyfriend I ever had.

My final call on this line: actual degree of innocence/guilt impossible to determine, fallout will probably include "inadmissible" evidence.
 
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adarkana

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For certain, though I'm pretty sure we were/are both losers.
 

hilary

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Adarkana - thank you for going through posting followup.
 

adarkana

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Much as I appreciate the verification that I am indeed a loser, it should be noted that he hasn't actually moved anywhere. We still live together & actually get along very well.

While I agree in this instance he was the "wronged" party, I'm not certain 25.3 puts the blame on me for the failure of the relationship as a whole.

So just now I asked, twice & for the permanent record: what is my degree of blame for the failure of this romantic relationship? For which I received 47.1.5 & 5.5. It is hard for me to see complete culpability in either response, but maybe others have clearer vision.
 

hilary

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Is it important to apportion blame? Does culpability have to enter into it at all? Where is the 'permanent record' and who's reading it?

I'm not completely sure whether 47.1.5 is answering your question or questioning it. But if it's an answer, then it raises the question (...oh dear, here I go again...) of where the punishment is coming from. I would think line 1 is self-inflicted (isolating yourself) while line 5 is not (its protagonist is being punished, not punishing, losing face and mobility but still trying to restore relationship).
 

my_key

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So just now I asked, twice & for the permanent record: what is my degree of blame for the failure of this romantic relationship? For which I received 47.1.5 & 5.5.
Hi Adarkana

Let's put a couple of things straight here.
1)Willowfox's post is not one of the most helpful she has ever made.
2)Her post is in no way a verification that you are a loser.

The 47.1.5 response is sort of saying that the gremlins in your head have taken over and you are not able to think in a positive manner at the moment. The "loser" record is currently playing and you are not able to easily find the off switch. Do not fret we have all been there, and the challenge is one of seeing yourself as a winner.

47.1 - Everything looks gloomy and it's difficult to let go of the negative thoughts in your head.

47.5 - However distressing it may feel at the moment, and what you feel is real for you, remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep walking slowly towards the light. Sitting with your negative thoughts, not getting overpowwered by them, will allow you in time to see things differently.

5.5 - Keep looking for those sparks of insight that will nourish your inner self. Additionally make time to focus on the "strawberries and cream" in your life - the things that bring you real joy and a warm feeling inside. This will help you on your journey back to putting the situation in it's own perspective.

Going back to my earlier post.....it's important for you to realise that you are in the process of seeing the "hairs" for what they really are.........lovely fluffy bunny rabbits.

Best Wishes

Mike
 
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willowfox

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Much as I appreciate the verification that I am indeed a loser, it should be noted that he hasn't actually moved anywhere. We still live together & actually get along very well.

While I agree in this instance he was the "wronged" party, I'm not certain 25.3 puts the blame on me for the failure of the relationship as a whole.

So just now I asked, twice & for the permanent record: what is my degree of blame for the failure of this romantic relationship? For which I received 47.1.5 & 5.5. It is hard for me to see complete culpability in either response.

Oops! Sounds like I upset the apple cart yet again with my wayward words, but don't forget there's moving on in a physical way and moving on in a mental way, so he has moved on from the problems of time gone by, and forgiven you perhaps. So , moved on is right, and moved up is also right if you think that he has changed for the better.

Line 25.3 is very negative as it does put the misfortune on your shoulders to bear. You made the mistake so you must bear the guilt. The person who lost his/her cow in this line is definitely the loser, there is no other way of saying it. I don't think anyone can sugarcoat that?

Line 47.1 Well, this shows you sitting under the apple tree, mulling over this business of guilt and whether you were wrong or not, but the advice is don't worry about it anymore as it is now history, you've done the deed, too late, forget it.

Line 47.5 It suggests that you just accept what you have done, as you believed you were doing them for the right reasons at the time, you believed he was guilty, so you acted accordingly, too late, so just let it go, what's the point of rehashing the past here?


5.5 You thought you were carrying out what you did for what you believed were the right reasons so now is the time to relax and find inner peace.

Lets hope that mike thinks this post is one of my more helpful ones, as it is true that sometimes my answers are too short and thus open to misinterpretations.
 
M

meng

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-Discovered an unfamiliar follicle in my bathroom, decidedly female.

-Asked the I Ching for insight into his precise degree of innocence/guilt & received Hexagram 25, line 3.

The I Ching is having a rich time with me on this one. I've even discovered a translation that refers to Hexgram #25 as "Detangling"!

I appreciate the replies received to the (earlier, slightly more elaborate) version of this post.

With or without the I Ching, there is no alternative but to drop drop drop it.

See? You already innocently and intuitively knew what you need to do, even before asking the oracle.

I think a woman passing through your house brushed her hair. Doesn't mean it was a woman doing your man, could have been any woman, or even a girl? And from the sounds of it she may have used a comb or brush that was left on the counter. She wandered through, saw and used it. It's the owner's loss, or at least not your gain.

Imo, all the rest is you getting worked up in a way which leaves you feeling hemmed in. Hex 25 isn't just a positive omen, it could also be a stern warning: a poor attitude or outlook (jealousy, suspicion, etc) brings suffering.

Breathe in fresh air! :)
 

my_key

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Hi WF
Lets hope that mike thinks this post is one of my more helpful ones, as it is true that sometimes my answers are too short and thus open to misinterpretations.
Yes, imo a more considered posting from you and one that must have taken quite a while to compose. You have explained what you wanted to say very well in a way that adarkana can less easily misinterpret. Well done.
It's always good to remember that at times less is more. It's quality not quantity that makes a difference in many cases.

Only one thing more, it's not what I think about your posts that matters - it's what you think about how helpful your posts are to you and other people that really counts. Perhaps making time to consider this before the Submit Reply button is pressed would be helpful all round.

Take Care

Mike
 
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M

meng

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I should prolly mind my own business, but..

I don't think this is the right place to be critiquing one another's interpretations, especially not the personal style; no offense intended to either party. I'm sure this is what Hilary is trying to prevent in Shared Readings.
 

adarkana

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I have to clarify one thing about my original post: *no* woman other than myself could (or rather, should) have been passing through my bathroom. Our apartment has two, and I'm the only user of the one in which the hair was found, located in a relatively private area off the master bedroom. This specifically is what roused my suspicion.

If you live in an apartment with someone else to which no one else is regularly invited or has routine access; and find in your private bathroom a strand of long, red hair belonging to no one you know; and receive, in response to wondering aloud how it came to be there, some crazy speculative storyline from your boyfriend instead of a simple "how would I know?" -- that was my 25.3 situation.

Drop drop drop it is right, but in my opinion not because of his perfect innocence but because my doubt, which had taken over, was having utterly unproductive consequences. As it says in my Hua-Ching Ni translation "One should avoid unnecessary suspicion. In such situations, arguments are not very effective."

This really is a non-issue at this point & my whole objective in revisiting this thread was to inform how that particular 25.3 incident played out. Willowfox surprised me by suggesting that specific incident had had more serious implications, which is possible but not 100% consistent with my own perception of things. Herein, I'm simply admitting my suspicions at the time were misplaced; that neither his infidelity nor this incident are the reason we ultimately broke up; and that the arguments around it were *completely* ineffective, if not downright destructive.

As for my follow-up questions & the issue of guilt/blame in the subsequent breakup, 47.1.5 & 5.5 do speak very well to my current state of mind. Emotionally things are quite dark though day-to-day living is much less dramatic. In fact I am very much waiting it out (our lease on this apartment & a couple other situations make good on the 5.5) & in need of a vacation, a simplification I know of 47. The transition to 54 hints at the deeper issues, but maybe for a later thread/follow up.
 

adarkana

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Recently a co-worker of mine began dating a man she met online. As they were just getting started I cast the I Ching, asking how this relationship would pan out, and got 25.3.

A couple months later my colleague broke off with this guy, on strength of an entirely circumstantial conviction that he had deceived her. It's totally possible he did--I have no way of knowing--but it struck me that her need to *believe* he'd done so far outweighed any actual evidence he had done so. I concluded from this (and a number of earlier anecdotes) that what she had been wanting, and in this instance found, was a way to end the relationship that did not leave her feeling "guilty." I guess one's reasons can't always be reasonable.

Anyway this reminded me of my follicle folly from a few years' back, so thought I'd add it to this thread.
 

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