what to do about him 38.6 > 54

[legume]

the question is about a love interest. i would like to leave out the context, as i'm curious about the general interpretation of the answer. also, i'm quite confused. 38.6 is probably where i'm at - not reaching out, keeping silent, as not sure how to see him anymore. or how to relate. but maybe this is also the advice: as one goes, rain falls; then good fortune comes.
i should probably just go my own way... let him woo at the right time?
but why would i let him if the relating hexagram is 54? this probably doesn't bode any good...
and nuclear of 38 even feels to be saying - just move on and don't look back.

would be grateful for your thoughts.

 

[becalm]

Looks to me like someone feels like they’re only second best... Hexagram 38 and Line 6 pretty much says stop trying to change him, he’s not a bad guy.

 

[moss elk]

He is not a demon,
just a pig.
The line is about your misperception.
(making him out to be worse than he is.)

Although, I wouldn't blame you for keeping your family jewels away from swine.

 

[marybluesky]

Hello Legume!

What to do about him? 38.6> 54
38.6:"Wilhelm/Baynes: Isolated through opposition, one sees one's companion as a pig covered with dirt, as a wagon full of devils. First one draws a bow against him, then one lays the bow aside. He is not a robber; he will woo at the right time. As one goes, rain falls; then good fortune comes.- Commentary: All doubts disappear."
You are alienated (38) and in a less than ideal place (54).
Don't overthink it, get rid of assumptions, let it be. Over time, the doubts disappear and everything will be OK.

 

[legume]

thank you, guys, i needed some perspective. the weird part about it is that this line has indeed always been about my misconception of others, my own attitude, i generally thought i knew and understood it well already.

but in this context i just couldn't crack it, it didn't seem to fit. at least not anymore. and especially as the answer to the question "what to do".

He is not a demon,
just a pig.
The line is about your misperception.
(making him out to be worse than he is.)

this is pretty insightful, as some confusion came from the fact that he obviously is a pig (he knows, i know and we both accept each other for who we are) so Yi literally saying he's not really a pig was a bit of a "what the heck?!" for me. it makes way more sense though to think of it as "stop demonizing this pig"

You are alienated (38) and in a less than ideal place (54).
Don't overthink it, get rid of assumptions, let it be. Over time, the doubts disappear and everything will be OK.

yup, that's pretty much what i had in mind by writing "just move on and don't look back", though i realise it might have sounded rather harsh. i don't cut people out of my life but in this scenario simply think it's best not to mull over it but just let it be and continue my way, as if go on unfazed?

seems like there's not much i can do.

as a side note, i asked this as a follow up question to 49 uc, which came up in relation to our future. well, i guess 49 really is about letting the revolution happen and take its shape just of its own.

 

[marybluesky]

49 is radical change: things won't be the same at all. I can't say how. He may completely fade away from your heart, or officially be your partner, or the relationship may grow in the ways you've never imagined...

 

[legume]

49, yes, these were also my thoughts... but growing uncertainty pushed me to ask further hence this thread

i then wondered about the nature or general energy of our last meeting and got 50.1.2 > 30. this is spot on. we ate and drunk. we finished it off with a joint (as if made peace). first mix of emotions. then clinging. at the same time gaining some clarity. while the last sentence of 50.1 actually reveals quite a bit of context here...

and more importantly, led me to the next question (couldn't help myself but try and find out) - does he still want kids? 46.5 > 48. it made me think yes, he's taking baby steps, or considering an advance? but i'm probably biased

i'm curious, what you all think?

 

[legume]

after many sessions with Yi, i finally asked what if i just keep some hope... kinda let it be, keep that light on. and got 46.5 > 48. i guess whatever it is, it's mutual. maybe we'll move on, somehow beyond it, or one day we'll draw again from that source of past love and shared memories. don't think this light will ever burn out, but doubt it will ever come to fruition either. yet thought it was interesting how Yi gave me the same answer about my own feelings, as i got when, in a way, asked about how he feels. anyway, i thought i'd share.

 

[beatpoet]

Two cents:

I have received this line--in fact numerous times at a certain point related to a specific situation that had me very... "bogged down" ... would be the words I would use now to describe that time. In retrospect, I would add this to the other posts:

1). I was isolated in numerous respects (cut off from communication to get "real" physical world answers, in a different environment that meant I was more or less an outsider, and actually physically alone a lot then.
2). All of these factors resulted in a lot of "overthinking" on my part which I now very much associate with this line.
3). "Wooing at the right time" was a particularly challenging phrase for me at that time since it seemed to give some kind of hope to my rather befuddled mindset at that time. In retrospect, I can see this now as having been: the right mindset/understanding/fullness of perception would come in time.
4). 54 was exactly right in that there was a mismatch of sorts happening between what I was thinking the situation was to what it actually was.

I don't know if this helps. I hope it does. Taking charge of mindset, emotional states is the key to this line. I think that shifting it to state to yourself that...whatever is keeping you seeing pigs, which is isolating in of itself, is allowed to leave you (rather than rolling around in the mud with the pigs as I did) and replacing the current thoughts with those of hope and determination to see it as it is... really worked for me. It was like taking off one set of eyeglasses tinted with what I wanted to see and putting on the eyeglasses which actually was my prescription!

beatpoet.