What will happen if I attempt to catch my girlfriend with another guy?

[Sneakysneak]

Hello,

Basically my girlfriend told me she went over with another friend out of town. (2 hours travel)
But there are still doubts and signs that shows she is with another guy.

I asked Yi ching if I went down to try her catch her and the other guy what will happen?

Was given Hexagram 28 line 1.

Could you all advise?

Dont know what to think anymore.

Thank you.

 

[Sennnn]

I'm not an expert at all but I think it is speaking about your behaviour 28 is exceeding... I hope someone could clarify this!

 

[rosada]

28.1 Be extraordinarily cautious.
43. Make a decision.

Are you considering making a decision about whether to continue with the friendship because of your suspicions? Perhaps the I Ching is simply commenting that you are contemplating making this trip as a precaution to be sure your suspicions are correct before making a decision.

If we try to read it as an actual prediction as to what might happen it could mean you need to proceed carefully and you will find out what you need to know to make a decision. So are you prepared to make a decision based on what you find out? If you do find her with another guy what will you decide to do? If you don't will that put your suspicions to rest?

 

[Surfergirl]

Hello,

Basically my girlfriend told me she went over with another friend out of town. (2 hours travel)
But there are still doubts and signs that shows she is with another guy.

I asked Yi ching if I went down to try her catch her and the other guy what will happen?

Was given Hexagram 28 line 1.

Could you all advise?

Dont know what to think anymore.

Thank you.

I tend to read 28.1 >> 43 as use extreme caution. If this were my reading I’d see it as, use extreme caution when making this decision. I might ask a follow up question such as: please give me a reflection of myself to see how balanced I was before resorting to any sort of sneak tactics. Especially if being found out could corrode my relationship. I also might ask: what do I need to know about this situation?
I’m sorry. I’m sort of terrible at reading for others but if it were me in your situation this is how I would approach it. Especially with the answer warning me to use extreme caution when making this decision.

 

[Sneakysneak]

I tend to read 28.1 >> 43 as use extreme caution. If this were my reading I’d see it as, use extreme caution when making this decision. I might ask a follow up question such as: please give me a reflection of myself to see how balanced I was before resorting to any sort of sneak tactics. Especially if being found out could corrode my relationship. I also might ask: what do I need to know about this situation?
I’m sorry. I’m sort of terrible at reading for others but if it were me in your situation this is how I would approach it. Especially with the answer warning me to use extreme caution when making this decision.

Hello.thank you for replying. It's an learning experience for me so I really appreciate it.
I asked the 2 questions..
Update : I went down to find her but I couldn't even find her. But I think that it was really good to ask those questions so I did.

I asked how balanced I am to handle anything from my girlfriend in my current state
And I receive hexagram 50 with changing line 4

I also asked what do I really need to know about this situation.

And I received hexagram 16 line 2

So sorry to bother u all but could I get more advice for this?

 

[Sneakysneak]

I'm not an expert at all but I think it is speaking about your behaviour 28 is exceeding... I hope someone could clarify this!

I hope not but it is I suppose its better than what is going on in my head. Thank you!

 

[Sneakysneak]

28.1 Be extraordinarily cautious.
43. Make a decision.

Are you considering making a decision about whether to continue with the friendship because of your suspicions? Perhaps the I Ching is simply commenting that you are contemplating making this trip as a precaution to be sure your suspicions are correct before making a decision.

If we try to read it as an actual prediction as to what might happen it could mean you need to proceed carefully and you will find out what you need to know to make a decision. So are you prepared to make a decision based on what you find out? If you do find her with another guy what will you decide to do? If you don't will that put your suspicions to rest?

Thank you. I will think it through. The fact however I went down I couldn't find her. Don't know what to think of it anymore

 

[Surfergirl]

Hello.thank you for replying. It's an learning experience for me so I really appreciate it.
I asked the 2 questions..
Update : I went down to find her but I couldn't even find her. But I think that it was really good to ask those questions so I did.

I asked how balanced I am to handle anything from my girlfriend in my current state
And I receive hexagram 50 with changing line 4

I also asked what do I really need to know about this situation.

And I received hexagram 16 line 2

So sorry to bother u all but could I get more advice for this?

I would read 50.4 as not balanced at all. Your dignity is spoiled . I like to see 50 as a clear reservoir of nourishment so in this image your fears/doubts etc have spoiled you entirely. you are acting resorting to ways that will bring humiliation as 50.4 leads to 18 corruption.

If I received 16.2 I would see it as containing myself. Setting firm boundaries around myself to protect myself until the emotional chaos has passed and I could respond from a quieter more centered place.

I don’t know if I’m interpreting this correctly but it’s how I’d read it for myself.

notYi but as a friend. Is this pattern of fear response normal within you? If so I would ask the YI what you could do to release yourself from this pattern.i only ask because I wonder why not ask your Gf. I assume you love her and it’s safe to be vulnerable. Why not Sit her down and say, “I have all these fears welling up inside me. I don’t know if I’m being irrational but I feel like you’re meeting another man. Are you?” I just feel like if you’re building a relationship with someone keeping things transparent, and showing up as our best selves even if that is with vulnerability to our jealousy is the only way to build a strong foundation. I don’t mean to sound preachy or any of that. My heart just goes out to you. I understand jealousy and fear of loss. I am sorry if I overstepped though. I’m sending you so much love from the Caribbean. Good luck and I hope this is just a misunderstanding.

 

[Sneakysneak]

I wkl

I would read 50.4 as not balanced at all. Your dignity is spoiled . I like to see 50 as a clear reservoir of nourishment so in this image your fears/doubts etc have spoiled you entirely. you are acting resorting to ways that will bring humiliation as 50.4 leads to 18 corruption.

If I received 16.2 I would see it as containing myself. Setting firm boundaries around myself to protect myself until the emotional chaos has passed and I could respond from a quieter more centered place.

I don’t know if I’m interpreting this correctly but it’s how I’d read it for myself.

notYi but as a friend. Is this pattern of fear response normal within you? If so I would ask the YI what you could do to release yourself from this pattern.i only ask because I wonder why not ask your Gf. I assume you love her and it’s safe to be vulnerable. Why not Sit her down and say, “I have all these fears welling up inside me. I don’t know if I’m being irrational but I feel like you’re meeting another man. Are you?” I just feel like if you’re building a relationship with someone keeping things transparent, and showing up as our best selves even if that is with vulnerability to our jealousy is the only way to build a strong foundation. I don’t mean to sound preachy or any of that. My heart just goes out to you. I understand jealousy and fear of loss. I am sorry if I overstepped though. I’m sending you so much love from the Caribbean. Good luck and I hope this is just a misunderstanding.

I would read 50.4 as not balanced at all. Your dignity is spoiled . I like to see 50 as a clear reservoir of nourishment so in this image your fears/doubts etc have spoiled you entirely. you are acting resorting to ways that will bring humiliation as 50.4 leads to 18 corruption.

If I received 16.2 I would see it as containing myself. Setting firm boundaries around myself to protect myself until the emotional chaos has passed and I could respond from a quieter more centered place.

I don’t know if I’m interpreting this correctly but it’s how I’d read it for myself.

notYi but as a friend. Is this pattern of fear response normal within you? If so I would ask the YI what you could do to release yourself from this pattern.i only ask because I wonder why not ask your Gf. I assume you love her and it’s safe to be vulnerable. Why not Sit her down and say, “I have all these fears welling up inside me. I don’t know if I’m being irrational but I feel like you’re meeting another man. Are you?” I just feel like if you’re building a relationship with someone keeping things transparent, and showing up as our best selves even if that is with vulnerability to our jealousy is the only way to build a strong foundation. I don’t mean to sound preachy or any of that. My heart just goes out to you. I understand jealousy and fear of loss. I am sorry if I overstepped though. I’m sending you so much love from the Caribbean. Good luck and I hope this is just a misunderstanding.

No no..u aren't overstepping. Those words are golden. I can't describe how grateful I am for it my friend..

This fear of loss and response is normal within me. But I haven't been managing it well..
To be frank I am in an awful place with her and she has been backing off to a boiling point where we are kinda on and off with each other.
I know it's becos I am exactly like this that caused the deterioration of our relationship.
Before this I found out she lied to me when she told me she went jogging with her friend but ended up to be a guy.

I wanted so much to trust her this time. But this time round I kinda found quite a few coincidences. both her and the guys phone isn't switched on. She refuses to show me photos of the "friend" she is hanging out with outside. In fact I did ask her. But she told me no. Got angry..but never straight to the point.. feels like a tell away but yet feels like it's just me and my insecurities.

But I see the hexagrams u interpreted does appply to me. I will have a good talk with her and hope to meet in between with her I guess.

Thank you!!

 

[Sennnn]

I just hope you find peace in this situation. I know this is very difficult.

 

[marybluesky]

28.1 says be careful- a big decision shouldn't be taken hurriedly.

"When embarking on an important endeavor, it is necessary to pay particular attention to details at the beginning. The times are indeed extraordinary, and you must be particularly careful to proceed in the right way. Being overcautious is not a mistake" Wing notes about this line.

You had received 50.4 before- you have lost trust and aren't in a good place to handle things now.
16.2 says collect yourself and let the situation be.

 

[radiofreewill]

Hi Sneakysneak,

It looks like you're getting a concensus read to pull back on the reins, and check yourself up ~ at least for the moment ~ to take stock of your situation, before proceeding?

I'd like to suggest a way to bring your mind to a pleasant resting spot from which, imho, it will have the clearest view of the best way forward for you to go?

Take a Juggling Break

It turns out that Juggling and the runaway thinking of the monkey mind are mutually exclusive?

You can only do one or the other at any given time?

And, with Juggling, you get immediate feedback when you are doing it wrong, because the balls all end up on the ground?

You can get sets of three hacky sacks or soft juggling balls (which don't roll away when you drop them) online?

Here's a good how-to video:

It only takes about two minutes of juggling to break the spell of runaway thinking and restore yourself to calm presence?

See for yourself if it puts you in a better spot to assess your situation?

I hope you'll give it a try?

All Best!

 

[Freedda]

Sneakysneak, as others have said, this may be describing being careful about the decisions you make. 28 describes a situation where things might have gone too far, or are in danger of being overwhelmed or collapsing - like a roof beam that's carrying too heavy a load and is about to collapse.

Line 28.1 describes someone taking the exactly wrong approach to a situation. I mean if the roof is about to fall onto you, do you then worry that your guests are sitting on comforable cushions?

The idea of a proper response hinges on knowing exactly what you are responding to - what needs to be fixed or addressed. Here, it seems that all you have are your own fears and suspicions, and I wonder then, are these what are overblown and about to cause collapse, and not anything anyone else is doing?

D