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When is it time to ask again?

yawiney

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Alot of prayer and deep contemplation went into my original reading from about 2 months ago. I got some good advice/interpretations on it here but still am in limbo. Here is the link to the thread from my question "What path to take";
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?21593-What-path-to-take-61-6-gt-60

I don't want to confuse myself and i do want to respect Yi's answere but mabey a better wording of the question is in order.
Any advice on asking another question?
Thanks.
 
D

diamanda

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Hi yawiney,
I read your previous linked thread, and I can't understand what your problem and goal is in this relationship.
I think it would be useful, before you formulate a question, to know what the problem is and what your goal is.
 

altair139

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how are things right now compared to back then? if it's not getting better then what exactly do you think is the problem?
Like I said in the last topic, somebody was too proud, has the problem been solved?
 

yawiney

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Hi yawiney,
I read your previous linked thread, and I can't understand what your problem and goal is in this relationship.
I think it would be useful, before you formulate a question, to know what the problem is and what your goal is.
I guess the problem is unclarity. i've been unsure for the whole time whether I just need to move through some comittment issues or if it's just that she is not the one for me. My goal is just to have that clarity. I know I have work to do but i want to be clear whether to continue with her or let go and move on.
 

yawiney

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how are things right now compared to back then? if it's not getting better then what exactly do you think is the problem?
Like I said in the last topic, somebody was too proud, has the problem been solved?

It's me that's "too proud". Not that i think of it that way but i keep thinking i can have someone i'm more attracted to. Wev'e been staying in touch and spending time just as friends. Sometimes it feels good and sometimes awkward. What's changed is i feel her wanting to get back together and i am still not clear which is why i considered asking another question.
 
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diamanda

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My suggestion for questions would be:
- How will my life be in the next year if I commit to her?
- How will my life be in the next year if I cut ties with her and move on?
 

rosada

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I think you were told in your first reading that although all the pipes have been laid you still are uncertain as to whether you should turn on the water. Maybe although you enjoy each other you don't necessarily need to be "committed". Maybe all you should have with this person is a friendship. Maybe ask,

What does a good relationship with this person look like?
 

rosada

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Also it sounds to me like you might get benefit from studying hexagram 1 - particularly line 1 which in Wilhelm read's "Hidden dragon. Do not act." Perhaps by intentionally reading and studying relevant hexagrams the Universe may align with the pattern you are focusing on and give you some insights. I suggest studying 1.1 as you seem uncertain to take action and reading about this feeling could help you move forward to 1.2 recognizing role models and what you really want this partnership to look like..
 

yawiney

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My suggestion for questions would be:
- How will my life be in the next year if I commit to her?
- How will my life be in the next year if I cut ties with her and move on?

So, i finally broke down and asked both of these questions:
-"How would my life be over the next year if i let go of X and move on?" -56.1.2.3.5 >10
This one definitely brought up my fears of not finding this deep a love again. But also has good advice about staying humble and focused on things of sustenance. I travel for work and am on the road more than half the time so it makes sense in that way.

#1 looks like going out on my own i may find myself indulging in superficial relations or bad habits - Can this be avoided? Is it just saying to be careful of this?
#2 looks like i will find someone new and the #3 it will not last?? I HAVE been seeing somone, taking it very slow and she lives far away. My X and i broke up in July tried to come back in Sept. and, though that didn't work, still couldn't fully release eachother.
#5 looks like good things and abundance but i'm not sure how, or if, it relates to love.

For committing to a relationship with her i got - 35 Unchanging. This looked cut and dry at first that this Hex is better but i looked at the inner Hex -39- Obstruction. It looks like Yi is saying this is ver worth doing but it will be alot of work. I think the main obstruction is that my attraction level to her has waned and i don't know how to bring it back. Honesty, though i haven't been able to let go of my X i was hoping for an anser that might aid in that.
Am i getting any of this right?
 

yawiney

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I think you were told in your first reading that although all the pipes have been laid you still are uncertain as to whether you should turn on the water. Maybe although you enjoy each other you don't necessarily need to be "committed". Maybe all you should have with this person is a friendship. Maybe ask,

What does a good relationship with this person look like?

Iv'e been tempted to ask this as well but it seems a hexagram answere to that question would be even harder for me to interpret.
 
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diamanda

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I agree with most of your comments on your new readings - here are some of mine.

"How would my life be over the next year if i let go of X and move on?" -56.1.2.3.5 >10
This does sound to describe a temporary relationship - perhaps the one you already have on the side.
56.5 can show a successful sex encounter, although again it doesn't show longevity/deep love.
So you would have to take the whole thing step by step, if you move on from your ex.
10 speaks of difficult and dangerous situations where one needs to be cautious.
It's one of the hexagrams I consider as "see how it goes" - you might find deep love or not, you'll just have to take it step by step and see what tomorrow brings.
Obviously 10 also means moving on, so it might just be a description of that.

For committing to a relationship with her i got - 35 Unchanging
That's a really bizarre answer, especially because you say you don't feel attracted to her any more.
35 is not hard work, it's actually easy progress - and it also speaks of mating three times a day...
Weird as it sounds, your year ahead would be easy and full of advance if you commit to her.
I'm just telling you how the answer sounds to me (because my logic doubts this very much).
The only logic I can see in this answer would be that, once there is commitment, self-confidence increases - thus maybe you'd fancy her again because she'd feel more confident?
 

yawiney

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Thanks Diamanda, good to see I had the right idea on the reading for letting go, and that line 5 does relate to the question.
I think the "hard work" of 35 is just being able to commit in the first place. And yes attraction definately increases when she is fulfilled and not wanting.
I took note of the inner trigrams making Hex 39, Obstruction, probly because that is what i would need to get through, to get to commitment.

I think to confirm if the lines in 56 refer to my relationship to the newer person, i should ask a question direct about that.
Thanks for taking the time. My heart has been physically hurting alot lately and the clarity iv'e been wanting is taking it's time. So thank you again.
 

yawiney

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So now i asked "Yi, what is the potential of my relationship with Y?"(the newer one) - Hex 1.3 >10
and;
"What is the potential of my relationship with X?"(my X who wants me back) - Hex 4 Unchanging.

My reading for letting go of my ex also led to Hex 10, so i'm seeing Treading/Stepping as very important in the reading. Iv'e never gotten Hex 1 before. It seems auspicious to me.

As for Youthful Folly -Hex 4, this at first dosen't seem like a good sign for a long term relationship but I thought mabey the Yi is schooling me for asking again.
About her, it first gave me 61.6>60 for what path to take towards her, which did not seem good for getting back together. Then i received 35 unchanging when asking how life would be if i committed to her. Those ansers seem contradictory, so i don't see it as disrespectful to ask another question. Also the last 2 questions i asked about her were unchanging.
Still reading more versions but any help is appreciated here. Those will be my last readings about this for a while.
Meanwhile, this newer woman in my life will be moving closer after the holidays so i need to decide before then.
 
D

diamanda

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what is the potential of my relationship with Y?"(the newer one) - Hex 1.3 >10
A lot of justified stress and worry, taking it step by step in a difficult situation.
Well you say that "you need to decide" soon, but it doesn't sound possible.
The stress is either between you and Y, either all yours because of indecision, or both.

What is the potential of my relationship with X?"(my X who wants me back) - Hex 4
Potential unknown/immature/hidden, or you'll have a child together.
Perhaps it's immature on your part to ask about it, since you already sound decided not to.
I don't think this is contradictory to 35.
Your question was about your life in the next year, and the answer was clear - if you commit, you'll have an easy life.
So asking here again about the "potential" obscures the issue (4 can also mean obscure).

it first gave me 61.6>60 for what path to take towards her
In my opinion this says "restrict the big dramatic words", as they're only words without action.
Are you trying all along to beautify/philosophise your rejection to her?
Or is it she who cries and laments? In any case, no matter who of the two does it, it doesn't sound good.
 

yawiney

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Thank you once again diamanda,
So it's possible that the worry and stress in 1>10 is just right now having to do with my indecision? i was thinking "potential of my relationship" being the question was bigger/ longer-term. If i interpret it as my current situation then mabey the Future potential could be better.

The readings that i felt contradicted were the 61.6 and 35 for my ex. That was what prompted the final question about the potential of the relationship and why though it was the 3rd question on this subject i wondered if the part about asking too much and getting no information applied to me or not.
?
Thanks again.
 
D

diamanda

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i was thinking "potential of my relationship" being the question was bigger/ longer-term. If i interpret it as my current situation then mabey the Future potential could be better
With 10 as resulting hexagram, the long-term potential is not apparent yet.
It will depend on the steps taken in the meantime.
These will be difficult, stressful steps, either due to your indecision, or that new person is a difficult person, or both, or perhaps for some other reason I can't guess.

As about 4 about your ex, I don't believe here it is directed at you not getting information.
It's not as if you asked the same question fifty times and eventually got 4.
I've seen many cases where the querent asks a lot more questions than this, and they still don't get 4!

So I think here it's more like immaturity of the situation perhaps - the long-term potential is not, again, 'decided' yet, it has not matured, it's not obvious. Or, as I mentioned before, it could mean "child" - that you and she could have a child together.
 

yawiney

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Thank you so much for this. It really helps these readings to make more sense in the situation.
And yes the difficulty/stress/ caution of 10 has to do with me not fully letting go of my ex. and not wanting to potentially hurt Y if i do go back to my ex. i have been totally transparent with Y as to where i'm at and she is very willing to give me more space, but if i don't see her this wknd- her birthday- i won't for almost a month.
Definately no baby any time soon. The growth that i need to do in order to make this comittment makes sense with the not matured yet of 4 too.
Thanks again. Now i just need to decide whether to see Y for her birthday or not. Mabey the careful steps mean taking it even slower?
 

rosada

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FYI - very intense line up of planets this weekend. Mercury conjunct Pluto. Whether you see or don't see Y for her birthday could have consequences. Mercury is communication and Pluto is matters of life and death. So what you decide to do or not do will send a strong message..
 

yawiney

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FYI - very intense line up of planets this weekend. Mercury conjunct Pluto. Whether you see or don't see Y for her birthday could have consequences. Mercury is communication and Pluto is matters of life and death. So what you decide to do or not do will send a strong message..
I'm considering doing a reading on whether to see her now or not. I don't want to complicate but it does feel much bigger than just this visit.
 

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