WHEN will a wonderful man come into my life and offer LOVE?

[amy luisa]

When will a new and wonderful man come into my Life?

Your reading resulted in the following hexagrams:
31


Hexagram 31, Influence

how strange that we only have 1 week left for June to be over and this Hexagam came to me. i was thinking that i should not of asked the ICHING a question on timing but it came to Wooing.

was that a wrong question to ask?
:bows:

 

[arabella]

When will a new and wonderful man come into my Life?

Your reading resulted in the following hexagrams:
31


Hexagram 31, Influence

how strange that we only have 1 week left for June to be over and this Hexagam came to me. i was thinking that i should not of asked the ICHING a question on timing but it came to Wooing.

was that a wrong question to ask?
:bows:

This says to me that you only need put your energy into attracting someone new. You're running in old and tired tracks, barking up the wrong tree, mixed up with the wrong guys. Maybe you've been out of focus, or diverting your attention to something or someone who isn't worthy of you. It's time -- REALLY time -- to regain that special spark of yours and turn on your winning ways. Maybe you've let it slide and forgotten just how enticing you can be! Time to rebuild that image of yourself and get out there!

Another thought -- put the worn out remnants of old relationships out of your mind and turn to something fresh. Also, hold that THOUGHT and be persistent. This is something you 'll need to work through and true ROMANCE isn't something you rush.

Why do I have the idea that you can easily attract somebody if you REALLY want to -- but maybe you haven't really wanted to for a while? Turn on the charm. This says you've got the power, the presence, and the appearance to be quite deadly with the opposite sex if you put your mind to it. Hex 31 unchanging.

 

[amy luisa]

Thank you my friend

My whole life people have told me i looked like Natalie Wood/Selena. I dont see the resemblance, but who cares though...i look around me and i see many unnatractive and also, mean spirited "hater girls" with boyfriends that they just "settle for". I think to myself...how did they get a guy and I continually am alone. I have dated many, and i dont know if its my Aquarian nature (coupled with Gemini - duality) that i get bored too easily? LOL

I love to be with my dogs and my entertain in my beautiful home. I have alot of people want to meet me, i am basically "shy" believe it or not. I do stand up comedy and have to laugh at all my problems when it comes to MEN.

many men are also jealous or threatened with a funny attractive woman. i am very comical at times when i go out on dates. to me, its just a LAUGH having to go through the motions, the small talk and cliches....

I dont know what the Hexagram indicates, as i am still searching for its definition in English terms. but i know the timing is in June. hahaha and only 1 week away? WOW

i dont think its how you look, although I have been approached by men who seem to want some kind of a "trophy" wife. but man, that can also be a killer.

i would love to have the "sight" to recognize someone who will just let me be ME and not bail or hide or even want to "make me feel like a walllflower and shut me up".

wooing??? is that not the term for this Hexagram?

:bows:

 

[arabella]

Maybe "when" isn't June, but "when" you get your focus away from these others and onto finding someone worth the time and trouble.

 

[amy luisa]

Timing

i looked at the timing thread.

does not matter....When...

i am still looking for the meaning of this Hex and get different answers.

thank you for Explaining it to me though

Focus on WHO? there is no one around. I wish I had a couple to even fantasize about. Have you dated much? LOL

 

[dancing white ferret]

I like Arabella's ideas. I think she is on the money, but I do have some of my own thoughts to add as well.

I wonder if the Yi is advising you to assume a more yin position here... Let someone sweep you off your feet. Dating you for some reason sounds almost like trying to shoot a moving target, a task most men aren't up to. Oh, that Gemini duality. You seem like a mercurial girl, but Mr. Right will have the brains and aim to handle it anyway. Either that, or you need to get out there and be the one doing the wooing. Hey, I know some girls who feel it has worked for them, and have snagged themself someone halfway decent this way. Do you ever ask anyone out on dates? I've never been a big proponent of this myself, but being 32 and single hardly makes me an expert. And after seeing some success with this recently for others, I can hardly deny it can work. It's rare, but does happen. It's true though, I know, that the beginning of a relationship, even the first date sets the tone for the whole romance. If you start off leading, be prepared to do that forever. Sure doesn't sound like what you are looking for though. You phrased your question with yourself in the passive.... "WHEN will a wonderful man come into my life and offer LOVE? "

"many men are also jealous or threatened with a funny attractive woman. i am very comical at times when i go out on dates. to me, its just a LAUGH having to go through the motions, the small talk and cliches...."
amy luisa

Yes, it does seem silly, and sometimes it is. But, if you are really into the person, I can't imagine it feeling silly. Doesn't sound like they are succeeding in wooing you.

"In courtship, the masculine principle must seize the initiative and place itself below the feminine principle."

(This one is obvious. The guy goes after the girl and courts her...)

“perseverance furthers,” for it is perseverance that makes the difference between seduction and courtship; in the latter, the strong man takes a position inferior to that of the weak girl and shows consideration for her.

from from The I Ching or Book of Changes by Richard Wilhelm, Cary F. Baynes, Hellmut Wilhelm and C. G. Jung http://theabysmal.wordpress.com/2006/10/23/i-ching-hexagram-31/

It also sounds like the Yi is pointing out the distinction between courtship and seduction. Sounds like some of these guys are more interested in the latter. Weed them out. If they aren't persistent about courting you, or seem like they are looking to seduce you, or make you some trophy, small talk cliches etc. don't waste your time.

A more modern, less sexist take on this might be to say a wonderful man will come into your life and offer you love when you assume an attitude that complements this action. Simply, when you are willing to fall in love. I think your answer suggests after a long courtship with someone there is a mutual attraction with (LOL, you don't seem into some of these guys you are dating) Especially since the hexagram is unchanging. One of the ways I have come to see unchanging hexagrams is like a ball thrown upward, floating in the air once it has reached the peak of it's upward ascent. Just hovering... So maybe you need to hover with someone a bit before falling in love. Could also be a heads up of someone is out there for you, maybe coming your way. Be ready for it. Don't become some wallflower, but give the guy a chance to woo you when he comes your way.

 

[arabella]

Yes, as DWF says -- big diff between being feminine versus being a seducer. You only have to be there IN THE RIGHT WAY and the men turn up. And the "when" is fairly clear. The thing Hexagram 31 says to me is "When are you really ready for this?" Because as much as you dislike these guys who are users, when do you shut them off? When are you really available in the right way? When does romance take precedence? You've drifted into a pattern, it seems of being available in the "wrong" way, but you know the difference, you know when it feels romantic/promising and when it feels like drudgery and going through the motions because the intention is primal or needy and nothing else.

And, if that sounds like ad hoc counseling -- it isn't. The source of failure I'm describing [being there under false pretences] is just the OPPOSITE of what the hexagram 31 would advise you to do -- so I'm assuming this is where things are falling apart. Certainly there is no shortage of men in your life -- but they don't appear to bring you want you want -- the romance isn't there.

And I'm stating what hexagram 31 would call for if you are asking "When?" because you are discouraged and feel it's never going to happen. The romantic, the feminine sounds in order -- and that is a tone you must set.

 

[amy luisa]

God bless you guys, you are all AWESOME!

Sadie Hawkins day is in February??? LOL perhaps if i do find someone that I AM attracte to - I will definately ask them out.

"..when do you shut them off..?"
Give me some credit here my friend, i am an expert to know when a jerk is a jerk and does not deserve to be in my presence much longer.....LOL

I believe in Romance, not sex. Sex you can get anywhere, I am celibate, i never have to ask someone for anything, they give it to me. I don't have to be a seductress, I have been told many times that I just look sultry, Sophia Loren never had to Try To Do Anything, men just loved her. I am not italian, i am half Puerto Rican/Cuban. The women in my family are very passionate, beautiful and strong willed women who have always been loved by wonderful men.

I guess I watch too many black/white movies, i am looking for a Gary Cooper, James Stewart (LOL) really, an older man who will just hang out with me, walk dogs with me and talk about things. I dont need anyone to rush me. I am completely happy with intimacy that does not include sex. Sex is reserved for someone special. And also, i want to marry - at my age, now, companionship is very important to me (next to a slice of good broolyn pizza and an egg-cream).

I live in a very AJAX part of arizona, sort of like Housewives of Beverly Hills, everyone here is settled and very few men are available. Interesting? NO, I dont know, but i feel that i will marry an older, foreign man who will value me very much and take me to live near the ocean, Santa Monica is where i want to move and rescue animals, like Kim Novak.

the readings here were extremely important to me. Your opinions were very important to me and I thank you , all of you for your generosity.

I cant help but wonder, why is romance so much more harder to grasp than sex?


DWF - Dating you for some reason sounds almost like trying to shoot a moving target, a task most men aren't up to. Oh, that Gemini duality. You seem like a mercurial girl, but Mr. Right will have the brains and aim to handle it anyway
HELL YES! LOL I want to be romanced, men do not seem to have any "Gumption" these days. Why would I go after someone who feels like dating me would be a "task". huh? Yes, Mr, Right Will be the SMART MAn. would you not go after a rare coin for your collection? a coin that you have always wanted and dreamed about, a coin that you would value and cherish? well, you would go after it, and it would be worth it and you would value it.

I really dont want someone who thinks he can get me easily. despite of what you all must think of me in my previous relationship, I am not like that. ironically, I have NEVER EVER been that easy to get to with anyone.

but if I were to find a guy who caught MY attention, i might be tempted to do the wooing, if HE were lucky enough (LOLOLOL) to be wooed by me.

 

[arabella]

My take on the Hexagram 31 is somewhat coloured i suppose by year upon year that you've enquired here about men who don't treat you well, who come and go, who aren't clear, who are actually with other women and check in and out with you. Can't help it -- sorray!

It happens to a lot of us that we leave men in place, let them be a fixture, long after their self-by date is up. And it's not that they are "jerks" -- they just aren't anybody special who brings any promise to life.

Yes, I know exactly where you live in Arizona, I lived there for a number of years, probably up the street from you. In fact, when you described a guy you dated who looks just like Richard Gere and visited you in Arizona, I thought I had seen him once or twice at a cafe.

In any case, the advice of Hex 31 is pretty basic I guess -- seek ROMANCE and you will find it. It's there without question for you. I don't think that rules out sex either -- but it puts priority on knowing you are valued first.

Good Luck Amy L! Have watched your entries on here over years and always hoped you'd get the right guy sooner or later! XO Arabella.

 

[amy luisa]

Thanks to all of you

Arabella.

there was no one here, to visit me, who looked like Richard Gere.

soraay!

 

[arabella]

Interesting, maybe I visualised the wrong film star when you were saying how amazing looking he was and enjoyed being mistaken for a celebrity. There was JUST such a person who used to have coffee at the Reay's Market -- back when it was Reay's Market -- don't know what it is by now. That's what popped into my head when you talked about this guy. Criminy, maybe it WAS Richard Gere -- which is really too bad because I wasn't very nice to him, thinking he was a phoney! HAHAHAHA!

 

[hilary]

Well, Amy, you asked me to comment on this one, and I would... only I really can't think of much that hasn't been said already. I agree completely with Arabella that the 'when' question attracts a 'when you do this' answer, especially when I've an idea that was more what you meant.

Brilliant posts already...
*scrapes barrel for something more to say than 'yes, what she said'*
...

'When will a wonderful man come into my life and offer love?'
'Influence, creating success.
Constancy bears fruit.
Taking a woman, good fortune.'

He'll come at Influence-time... when there's an opening for him, when you're really available. And thinking about everything falling in love entails - like the complete and utter disruption of everything that's normal, settled and known in your life, total vulnerability *and* the whole business of fitting your lives together and learning to live with someone else's idiosynracies - yikes... - it's a miracle anyone ever lets it happen. And I suspect that the meaning of this is that you do need to be ready for the whole thing - living with his moods, tolerating his odder habits, buying him new socks, etc, etc... - and not just the 'being romanced' part, if you ever want to get the 'being romanced' part.

'Above the mountain is a lake: Influence.
The noble one accepts people with emptiness.'

Hm... so maybe not with a shopping list of what he must provide and do, then?

I wonder what it means that 31 is unchanging. Maybe it's just saying - 'You haven't done this yet, so anything else is moot.'

Or maybe it's, 'Where are you going with this?' This is a bit of matchbox psychology/ impromptu coaching worth *exactly* what you're paying for it, but what do you need or want a partner for? What's the point?

 

[amy luisa]

I would like to think one day there would be one of those big yellow books in the bookstores that sAy ICHING for Dummies. Something for those who cannot totally translate in English the words from the Hexagams in English. I read that it was even important to Shakespere that people understood his plays on their level.

that said...I do appreciate Hiliary for commenting on this thread, although I dont understand what you said HIll, I will tell you what i have found out about this wonderful Hexagram of 31 which means "universal," "general," and in a figurative sense "to stimulate." I feel that it is a Great Hexagram to have in asking for when love/romance/and every single crazy thing that comes with it, will arrive?

I can only make out a few points and trying to understand Hilary. Please advise.

The upper trigram is Tui, the Joyous;

the lower is Kên, Keeping still.


somthing about the attraction between the sexes is represented in these two triagrams, so that sounds nice.

It talks aBout courtship,

Just as the first part of book 1 (is this the Bible) begins with the hexagrams of heaven and earth, the foundations of all that exists, the second part begins with the hexagrams of courtship and marriage (Adam and Eve?) the foundations of all social relationships

THE JUDGMENT

Influence. Success. Perseverance furthers. To take a maiden to wife brings good fortune. (This I dont understand)

The weak element is above, the strong below; hence their powers attract each
other, so that they unite. This brings about success, for all success depends on
the effect of mutual attraction.
(mutual attraction between me and the other man?)

By keeping still within while experiencing joy without, one can prevent the joy from going to excess and hold it within proper bounds.
(Practice patience and restraint, dont go too fast, stay calm, "Chill"? )


This is the meaning of the added admonition, "Perseverance furthers," for it is perseverance that makes the difference between seduction and courtship;

The rest of this pertains to elements of the body (the neck, the thighs) I dont fully understand this. I had Hex 31 not changing.

where does this fit in for me?
:bows::bows:

 

[arabella]

FWIW -- One thing I notice with your castings Amy is that you are starting over again from "scratch" each time. Have you tried keeping a journal? Because so many of your readings are various slants on the same identical situation/information and I think you'd begin to see the connections; how the Yi is coming at your scenario from various aspects that relate. Because seeing those connections and being straight with yourself about what is intended is part of the nature of divining. Reading the words and getting that part is a beginning, but to divine a meaning, you need directness with yourself combined with insight.

The insight is like the taste in an apple. The taste isn't in the apple, and it's not in your mouth, it's in the connection between the two. This is what you are trying to get to, the place where that connection happens, that experience and understanding. "Understanding" can means that the apple may taste different than you expected and that you simply have to accept. You can take lots of bites wanting something different, but that is the fruit you have picked.

 

[amy luisa]

my journal

i have my computer where i will keep my info, i write my dreams down.

i like to look at the lines and go through the computer to see the many definitions and see how they relate to my situation.

was i very off track?

thank you arabella. very much for asssiting me.:bows:

 

[hilary]

I would like to think one day there would be one of those big yellow books in the bookstores that sAy ICHING for Dummies. Something for those who cannot totally translate in English the words from the Hexagams in English.

Hm... there is one, but I don't think it's very good. Anyway, the I Ching is nice and simple - the trick is becoming so simple-minded that you can understand it .

that said...I do appreciate Hiliary for commenting on this thread, although I dont understand what you said HIll, I will tell you what i have found out about this wonderful Hexagram of 31 which means "universal," "general," and in a figurative sense "to stimulate." I feel that it is a Great Hexagram to have in asking for when love/romance/and every single crazy thing that comes with it, will arrive?

Oh yes, it is a lovely, romantic hexagram, without question! Very much the hexagram for falling in love - amongst other meanings, of course, but that's certainly one of them.

I can only make out a few points and trying to understand Hilary. Please advise.

The upper trigram is Tui, the Joyous;

the lower is Kên, Keeping still.


somthing about the attraction between the sexes is represented in these two triagrams, so that sounds nice.

Yes - the idea is that ken, the mountain, is the youngest son, the perfect match to tui, lake, the youngest daughter.

I like to reflect on the scene the trigrams paint. There's a lake on the mountain. When can that happen? Only when the mountain has a hollow or crater or space ready to receive the water. And in the same way, the lover only arrives when you have space for him.

THE JUDGMENT

Influence. Success. Perseverance furthers. To take a maiden to wife brings good fortune. (This I dont understand)

Images like this are tricky for (straight) women, true. But then if you think about it, in the majority of readings when someone receives this hexagram, it's not going to be literally about marriage. So you have to ask yourself what that imagery could represent in simpler, more general terms. What does a man do when he takes a wife? And then how is that something you could do?

(There are suggestions in my book - included in the reading translation here - about how he opens his home to receive her.)

The weak element is above, the strong below; hence their powers attract each
other, so that they unite. This brings about success, for all success depends on
the effect of mutual attraction.
(mutual attraction between me and the other man?)

Yes, that's the idea.

By keeping still within while experiencing joy without, one can prevent the joy from going to excess and hold it within proper bounds.
(Practice patience and restraint, dont go too fast, stay calm, "Chill"? )

I suppose so, yes. Though personally I don't find this part of Wilhelm's interpretation hugely helpful.

This is the meaning of the added admonition, "Perseverance furthers," for it is perseverance that makes the difference between seduction and courtship;

...and I have different ideas as to what 'perseverance furthers'/ 'constancy bears fruit' means here. I think it's pointing towards hexagram 32, and a reminder that you're going to need more than just romance and falling head over heels, also the willingness to be there through thick and thin.

The rest of this pertains to elements of the body (the neck, the thighs) I dont fully understand this. I had Hex 31 not changing.

Right - so the lines (about the parts of the body) don't apply.

 

[amy luisa]

Thank you Hiliary and everyone

this is certainly a wonderful thought to think of and to apply towards the situation.

then, I received the Hexagram 32 after that.

incredible affirmations i must make.

there is more to marriage and love than "romance" absolutely. and to become a friend first, to have someone "watch your back" and do the "heavy lifting" with you, is a great quality.

this is definately Joyus!:bows:

 

[arabella]

Amy, So maybe helpful to think of this reading as the conditions you must create to achieve what you are seeking, rather than a prediction? I find that is often the case with the Yi, telling you HOW to get where you want to go -- or that it is or isn't possible -- but to be told when in chronological or temporal terms isn't so usual.

 

[mary f]

Timing

...

I dont know what the Hexagram indicates, as i am still searching for its definition in English terms. but i know the timing is in June. hahaha and only 1 week away? WOW

...

Hello Amy. How do you figure out that it's in June? I'm keen to learn how to read timing within the Yi.
:bows:

 

[amy luisa]

a thread was sent to me

Hexagram of time

The month (Jan etc) is the one in which the full moon happens, so it varies from year to year.

The moon weeks start with the left hexagram, the Hou, until first quarter. Then the 2nd, DaFu, from 1st quarter until full moon. The 3d, Qing, from full moon to last quarter, and the 4th, Gong, from last quarter to new moon.

The last row, the Bi or monarch, is the hexagram which reigns over the whole moon, from new moon to the next new moon.

Every day of a moon-week is one line of that hexagram, but the day of new moon, full moon or quarter moon has no line. Some weeks are a day longer, others shorter, depending on the hour of new moon etc., but then it is best to divide the time more or less. In old times, people did not reckon with exact hours, they reckoned with days and weeks.

 

[arabella]

Hello Amy. How do you figure out that it's in June? I'm keen to learn how to read timing within the Yi.
:bows:

You will find any number of charts associating the months of the Gregorian calendar with hexagrams -- and philosophies behind them.

This one was posted previously by Pocossin -- and you'll see not everybody uses the same one. As I recall, February is the first month here, so puts hexagram 31 in May. But then these equations aren't intended to be "precise" and can overlap into more than one month. There are numerous discussions on here of Blofeld's assumption that the hexes and calendars could be equated with one another.

Apart from fairly general relationships, I've not found it to hold up. But others will say otherwise. Here is Pocossin's chart starting with month one as our February:

Month Hexagrams
1 11 5 17 35 40 51
2 34 16 6 18 49
3 43 56 7 8 9
4 1 14 37 48 31 30
5 44 50 55 59 10
6 33 32 60 13 41
7 12 57 45 26 22 58
8 20 54 25 36 47
9 23 52 63 21 28
10 2 64 39 27 61 29
11 24 3 15 38 46
12 19 62 4 42 53

Have fun casting for "when" -- but I still say that "when" is most often when you've created the proper conditions to fulfill what you are asking about.

 

[amy luisa]

thank you Arabella

Hey - I am down with this...

I received Hexagram 32 in a question.

that should be in July...

I am very very "Down" with this!

 

[mary f]

Hexagram of time

The month (Jan etc) is the one in which the full moon happens, so it varies from year to year.

The moon weeks start with the left hexagram, the Hou, until first quarter. Then the 2nd, DaFu, from 1st quarter until full moon. The 3d, Qing, from full moon to last quarter, and the 4th, Gong, from last quarter to new moon.

The last row, the Bi or monarch, is the hexagram which reigns over the whole moon, from new moon to the next new moon.

Every day of a moon-week is one line of that hexagram, but the day of new moon, full moon or quarter moon has no line. Some weeks are a day longer, others shorter, depending on the hour of new moon etc., but then it is best to divide the time more or less. In old times, people did not reckon with exact hours, they reckoned with days and weeks.

Amy, thanks a lot!!! Hope you find your love pretty soon.

 

[amy luisa]

Hexagram 32 - lasting

when casting this question... I received Hex 32. This Hexagram, along with Hex 31, is wonderful. I am so ready and open. I do so deserve this!

HOW WILL THIS NEW ROMANCE OF MINE BE?

 

[meng]

Lucy, I'm home!

 

[amy luisa]

no more texts or emails now - just PHOTOS

I DO BELIEVE THAT in the near future, we will be without emails or texts or even CHAT emotions. we will ave photos.

the ICHING is going to also be ugraded to the "do me a favor, explain this to me like I was a 7-year old" phrase from Denzel Washington, Philadelphia.

photos...

Hexagram 31 and 32 must be am awesome and loving and well deserved PHOTO