Where am I heading?

[Flax90s]

Hi everyone,

I have posted a few threads on here regarding my relationship. Please refer to the link below if you're interested in a little background:
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?22513-Why-is-she-doing-this-32-4-6-to-18

Anyway, for the past few weeks, I did not initiate contact with my ex. I have been leaving her alone as she wishes. Recently, I haven't acted impulsively. I feel somewhat content with my current situation. I do not feel the need to bother her. I have also been going to therapy every week. It helps me process everything. I finally think that I am OK. I am far from being happy and whatnot but I am certainly making some kind of progress. I do feel a glimpse of hope that I am finally stepping out of the cycle of madness.

Today I asked I Ching: With this progress, where am I heading?
My thoughts were, am I finally stepping out of this cycle, is this relationship finally ending, where am I heading from here on out? Basically, what's next?

I casted 28.2.5.6 > 56.
Usually I get a sense of what I Ching is trying to tell me. This time, I am not sure how to interpret these results. I figured 28 is probably my current state of mind. However, I can't grasps the other ideas. Although, I have been casting 56 frequently.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Flax

 

[loverofknowledge]

The Journey of Love

Flax,
Congratulations on your progress.
Here's my take on your casting.
56: the context of your question is that you are on a journey, of healing, and to renew your heart, after a disappointment in love. You are on the way, from (possibly) leaving one relationship (have you left it?), to opening to another.
28 : your deep emotions, the stress of the pain you were experiencing, and an emergency which you are coping with (e.g. by going to therapy, etc). -- and the stress of your arguments with your gf
28.6 validates your feelings. Are you feeling swamped? Like you are in over your head sometimes? That is natural, because you're going through a tough passage, keep moving
28.2.5 -- these both talk about a withered branch , something that is expected not to be fertile or to have life on it. This could represent your relationship or possibly your own heart. It is withered, because no longer is there the blossoming of love, -- or joy. BUT in both cases, there is a sudden burst of new growth, comparable to a man who finds a new wife (who is younger) or an older woman who finds a husband.
These situations are both improbable, but they do show new signs of life.
What's next? Accept that you are on a journey, it will take time, and your passions are naturally very strong and deep (does this make sense?).
Appreciate those moments of joy that are coming up for you. (Or: this could be a renewal of your relationship at least on some level, whether for a short or longer duration, as friendship or love).
Keep moving forward.
Also: now that I've looked at your earlier thread again, maybe the sudden growth on the withered branch characterizes your relationship with your gf. You do love each other, yet the arguments cause the relationship to wither and die--so that it can't support love for the longer term.
Depending on whether you wish to save the relationship or not, how about having a serious conversation with your gf about these stresses? OR: are you ready to leave and go on your own?

 

[steve]

Hey there
28 is yes were in the current situation where a change must take place, so you are working through that hex, it appears you are getting somewhere at least, an understanding of the current situation and less confusion.
Line 2 is a new beginning although its a slow process, its only early days, this is where you could be right now then line 5 is try not exhaust yourself on this try and slow down its not good for your health I think. Line 6 I would suggest really taking it easy on yourself when i say easy i dont mean laying around the house possibly long walks if you can, when you are depressed exercise will get the chemicals in your brain working to help fight how your feeling and dont try rushing through it with a quick fix, it is a grieving process so it will pass, as it seems in line 2 the seed was planted and there is a sprout so that needs to be nurtured, I have been though this 28 and a relationship so your not the only one. There are other women out there trust me. Plenty of them so dont think the world revolves around her, i have thought like that, You need someone that appreciates your qualities you must be intelligent enough to even question the breakup, so if she is not there now then would she be there for anything serious??? When you partner up you need a best friend, I am just trying to help you look at other angles. Another thing you could do is take this time to improve yourself this will have a positive knock on effect. Like if you have a hobby get better at it, chess is an awesome way to take your mind off things because all you think about is the game and at the same time you are exercising your mind. You can play online as long as you want.

You are as you said making progress, which is great.

Others may differ but 56 could be looked on in a number of ways but to me I think you need to leave this behind in due course like a traveler that could be the answer as to where am I heading , you will move on but at the moment you have no passport but you will get it back so are still working out with the administration but you cant hurry governments up. You can speed the process up with inner development but as I said there is no quick fix.

In summary you are working through hex 28 and are indeed on the correct path and now heading in the right direction.

Hope this helps
Steve

 

[steve]

we must have been posting at the same time Loverofknowledge haha

 

[Flax90s]

Flax,
Depending on whether you wish to save the relationship or not, how about having a serious conversation with your gf about these stresses? OR: are you ready to leave and go on your own?

Loverofknowledge,
I flew to see her in March. I showed up at her doorsteps. Took her hand and told her that I love her. She put her hand on my cheek, shook her head, and said "it's over, move on". I shook my head, pulled her into my arms, and repeated that I love her. Finally, I kissed her forehead and let go of her.
After I flew back home, I texted her a few times. Sometimes she replied with a word or two, other times she didn't reply at all. One day, she got frustrated and told me to leave her alone. I apologized and promised that she won't hear from me again.
I decided to go to therapy and commit to my words. A week later, she texted me as if all was normal. This agitated me but I replied promptly.
Over 2 weeks passed since she texted me. There is no contact between us. I feel like I made some progress (as I stated previously).
Thank you for your reply. I think you responded to all my posts. Thank you for walking me through this process. I'm sure I will be back to post more/update.

 

[Flax90s]

Steve,
Thank you for your reply. It's good to hear that I am on the right track. I will be sure to take care myself during the process. As upset as I am, I try to set my priorities straight and get things done. I appreciate your encouragement.
Flax

 

[loverofknowledge]

Flax,
Thank you for clarifying the situation.
28.2.5 I now see as the little tiny blossoms -- when she texts you, or acts like nothing has happened. They give you hope. YET, the branch is withered. The relationship is dead.
Even if she is ambivalent (which she may be), she stated very clearly that "it's over" (that withered the branch), and you made a farewell by holding her, kissing her forehead, and being with her.
It is hard, after that, if it feels like she is giving you mixed messages.
Nevertheless, it is best to move on and be consistent. Don't torture yourself over her. (28.6 you feel overwhelmed).
There are others to love. It is hard to close the door. It sounds like: now is the time.