Where do I stand in life romantically? Hex 4.2.3 to 52

[dancingfox]

This is the first time I have dared to ask such a question since my breakup from a long term toxic relationship last October. Since then I have been working very hard on myself. I graduated, started working a temp job immediately after graduation and was recently lucky enough to find a challenging, interesting job with a fixed contract. I have been living isolated, moved in with my dad who lives in a very quiet place. The remoteness has helped a lot in finding my inner peace. This fresh start is taking most of my energy, but part of me is awakening again and looking for connection. I am working on rebuilding my social circle. I haven't met anyone interesting romantically, had one online date that was nice, nothing more and nothing less. I feel unsure in this new single life yet sure at the same time. Sure of myself as a woman, but unsure of how to put myself 'out there'. I don't want to push something that should happen spontaneous... Am I really ready for a new relationship? Or ready to date and explore the single life? Do I even know what I want? My head starts spinning when I think about all these things, so I decided to ask the Yi

Where do I stand in life romantically? Hex 4.2.3 to 52

Not Knowing changing to Stilling. I can relate to Hillary's literal translation of hex 4 of being covered over like a young animal. Sharing a house with my dad, gave me a safe place to start fresh and a chance to explore again. Lines 2 and 3 tell me to release expectations and what... wait until I am wood? Sorry, I am trying too interpret the lines from a Wilhelm translation and from the forum here. Generally I think this reading tells me to stay still and wait.

Other ideas would be much appreciated :bows: The answer I am getting right now is slightly frustrating

 

[Trojina]

I haven't met anyone interesting romantically, had one online date that was nice, nothing more and nothing less. I feel unsure in this new single life yet sure at the same time. Sure of myself as a woman, but unsure of how to put myself 'out there'. I don't want to push something that should happen spontaneous... Am I really ready for a new relationship? Or ready to date and explore the single life? Do I even know what I want? My head starts spinning when I think about all these things, so I decided to ask the Yi

Where do I stand in life romantically? Hex 4.2.3 to 52

Not Knowing changing to Stilling. I can relate to Hillary's literal translation of hex 4 of being covered over like a young animal. Sharing a house with my dad, gave me a safe place to start fresh and a chance to explore again. Lines 2 and 3 tell me to release expectations and what... wait until I am wood? Sorry, I am trying too interpret the lines from a Wilhelm translation and from the forum here. Generally I think this reading tells me to stay still and wait.

Other ideas would be much appreciated :bows: The answer I am getting right now is slightly frustrating

Looking at line 2 from Hilary's translation in WikiWing

‘Embracing the ignoramus, good fortune.
Involving the woman, good fortune.
The son governs the dwelling.’

then line 3

‘Don’t take this woman.
Sees a man of bronze,
Doesn’t have a body.
No direction bears fruit.’

Line 2 says involving the woman and line 3 says have nothing to do with her so what's that about. personally I'm seeing this as two different kinds of attitudes towards your womanhood so to speak, the you who wants to connect to a man.

I think you are in the dark here (hex 4) you don't really know what you want or what's next and I think it looks like you really should have nothing to do with the woman in you who has drawn up an inner picture of the kind of man she wants or the kind of relationship she wants. This isn't going to work for you here work for you now because you'd then be creating some kind of artefact or monolith to the 'right relationship'. A man of bronze isn't a real living thing.

In contrast line 2 suggests you embrace your younger self, your younger woman who doesn't know what is going to happen, doesn't have plans for a particular kind of man. Interesting how it says 'involving the woman'. This is a personal view but I think that whole thing of 'putting oneself out there' is a kind of anathema to the female soul. I think some modern ways of going about this just aren't really what most women would be inclined to do because it can go against their own self nurturance, it actually doesn't 'involve' their woman. Advertising oneself on dating sites for example. On the other hand the line does call for fresh open experimentation. You are 15 again do as you please. It's not that I'm against internet dating and so on as such but here with this reading it would seem getting rather too near the 'man of bronze'. Images people present of themselves online aren't so real and what you might expect of them may not be real either.

It's funny this cast makes me think you need to do what you did when you were 15 and looking for connection...which may not be appropriate now...thinking of my own techniques at that age but anyway the cast to me suggests this is the crux of the matter

Sure of myself as a woman, but unsure of how to put myself 'out there'.

I see the hint of a contradiction there...which may be my personal bias because I think the whole concept...and we are constantly urged to do this by advice columns and wotnot, of 'putting oneself out there' can be an act of violence to the self. Hmm violence too strong a word...but Yi really is IMO directing you away from being the kind of woman in line 3 who goes looking for something and the kind of woman in line 2 who is open and looking yes, but in a different way.. I think it would be a good idea to really connect with that phrase in line 2 of 'involving the woman', the woman here being that very personal sense of your femininity here perhaps. If you let the daughter (son) run the household in this matter then what ?

52 ? I recently had the idea that 52 as relating hexagram sometimes can show we are ignoring what is happening in the primary, don't see it somehow. I think 52 can, on the negative side, also be a kind of numbing out. My view is the way people are expected to offer themselves up online etc can be a kind of numbing out of their finer sensibilities. Finding someone isn't like shopping. Certainly 52 might be seen other ways here.

Your change patterns here are 46 and 25. Incremental growth in accordance with what is natural and spontaneous and genuine for you is the question/framework of this question. So if I were you I think you need to get inside the heads of these 2 kinds of women in the lines and consider how, if you are to go about looking for a connection, how a younger more unknowing self might feel her way into this.

 

[dancingfox]

...but Yi really is IMO directing you away from being the kind of woman in line 3 who goes looking for something and the kind of woman in line 2 who is open and looking yes, but in a different way.. I think it would be a good idea to really connect with that phrase in line 2 of 'involving the woman', the woman here being that very personal sense of your femininity here perhaps. If you let the daughter (son) run the household in this matter then what?

Thank you Trojina, for your time and your insight in my reading. I had a general idea of the reading but your words really struck a chord with me.

Imo the man of bronze in line 3 is a wonderful metaphor for my experience with online dating. You know, this one online date was my first date ever. Not that I was wallflower before my last relationship, on the contrary... But I've always met my romantic interests spontaneous. Online dating does feel like shopping and leaves you with an empty feeling afterwards. I gave it a chance, was flattered with all the attention but I experienced the online chats as mindnumbingly boring after a while.

I like the idea of reconnecting with my younger self, something that I have already been doing in little things, like the music I listened to and even some people I used to hang out with.

Perhaps the idea of standstill in 52 here is for me to accept my situation as it is. In stead of 'putting myself out there' I can focus on the tasks at hand. Getting used to my new job, building a stabile ground for a new life, creating a healthy social circle...

I was a bit frustrated at first with this reading, because you know... I feel open to the possibility of a new love and ain't nothing moving But you reinforced my idea that online dating isn't the answer right now for me. I feel heartened by the idea of exploring the world through the lenses of hex 46 and 25. I will be meditating on these hexes.

Thank again Trojina!