Why do I keep attracting people with mental disorders?

[Miglix21]

The answer to that question was hexagram 37.2.3.5 changing into 41. I made the question this way because in the last two years, I have noticed how my experience with people with mental disorders has increased. First of all, I haven't anything against people with mental disorders, nobody should be blamed for that.

But it was curious for me that my last boss had borderline personality disorder, a I had a very terrible experience with a cousin that has the same name as I do, and, for sure he has a mental disorder (not want to give more details about this, just to say that he should be in jail and not free). The same thing with close uncle, that even if he has not been diagnosed, I know for sure that there is something different with him.

The last three experiences had happened on Tinder. In one, I hanged out with a person I contacted on the app and he made me sweat cold (as I would say in Spanish, scared me out), still I don't know if I was going to get robbed or killed that day.

I have exchanged numbers with one person on the app, and he later revealed he has also borderline. Today I had a conversation with another person to whom I also exchanged numbers with, and this person revealed that he has schizophrenia and that he hears a voice that tells him to kill people.

So, I was wondering, what message could that repeated experiences may have towards me. Any ideas?

 

[rosada]

37.2.3.5 says to me that it takes all kinds to make a family but 41. says not everyone needs to be a part of your tribe. In otherwords, Family - Decrease reads to me as if the I Ching is saying you attract these weirdos because you grew up in a family where there was mental illness and so rather than immediately noticing something off in these new people you are predisposed to accepting odd behavior. You need to learn to "decrease" your instinctive tolerant response, recognize crazy sooner and keep walking!

 

[Olga Super Star]

Hallo

In my experience, a lot of people on earth have some form of mental disorder and can be dangerous if you get close enough to them, meaning if you let dynamics evolve.
Think of couples. Women are often hurt/killed by their male partners. And usually those who are keep falling into these dynamics. But their assailants aren't usually bad people with others, they wouldn't dream of attacking someone else, they only attack people who are close to them. People they get into contact with.

I am sure most people are fine if you keep them at a distance, saying hello and good evening, but nothing more. Keep your borders, don't let them get too near and don't let them know too many things about you.

It can be noticed on a forum as well. As soon as you open up yourself, by disclosing personal details about family or political or sexual or religious view, you are much more likely to get attacked and to fall into dynamics. It's always the same people falling into dynamics.

As for Tinder, I closed it down after realizing 90% of people in there have serious problems. After all, if you need an app to meet someone, there's something wrong. We have always met through friends of friends or through work colleagues. People going on an app usually are not free or are looking for an ideal person or think they have more choice in choosing among 500 people - but choosing what? Appearance from a picture? You fall in love or into sex by looking at someone in their eyes and by smelling their odour (unconsciously). We can't choose from a catalogue.
Of course there'a 10% sane people there but they're probably the ones who will find every excuse not to meet you and you will end up in endless chatting for months, wasting a lot of time because chatting with unknown people is complete delusional.

Hope someone can reply to you on the cast, I can't make much of it really.

 

[Olga Super Star]

Also, the only time I went to an evening for singles (my room mate was going with a friend of hers, so me and another friend went along, just to have fun!) I bumped into 80 problematic guys, all ages.

I singled out two who seemed the only normal ones in that room and exchanged numbers.
One turned out to be a stalker (of the serious and terrifying kind!); with the other I spent a nice evening eating out, but when he realized I had no intention to have sex with him that very same night, he went into a monologue moaning aloud and rationally considering how much time he had lost, and that if he had known he wouldn't have had called me, and so on - which made me feel very sad.

So you're not the only one attracting psychos, it's just that these people are strangers and people have always drawn their acquaintances from a familiar well.

You know when someone wanted to get married, the family would go: "Who is this person you like? What family do they come from?" which didn't only mean how much money do they have, but really what is the context they come from. And they would ask around if someone knew their family.

It seems old fashioned but there is some truth to it.

I have always attracted crazy people recently, especially as room mates. Once I went to live with a 65 year old woman and her mother and.. the woman was totally mad. And I'm not exaggerating, her 90 year old mother was super cool and we got along perfectly, but her daughter was disturbed and would have needed a psychiatrist.

So I asked my Mom how comes I have come across all these kind of people and she hasn't, and she simply told me this: "Well, I have always lived by myself!"

And that is so much true!!

She lived by herself, she remained very close to where she was born (and that makes a difference because you have your friends from primary school, you know everyone and people know that you have friends and family around ready to help, so they are less inclined to mess up with you), she stayed in the same company all her life, and it was a stable and serious job.
If you change jobs often, like I used to do, you are always the new guy, and lack support and don't know who you can trust so it's always more difficult. It's like starting over again every time.

These are the things I told myself.
Now I have closed Tinder down and I live by myself and there are less crazy people around for sure!!

 

[Miglix21]

37.2.3.5 says to me that it takes all kinds to make a family but 41. says not everyone needs to be a part of your tribe. In otherwords, Family - Decrease reads to me as if the I Ching is saying you attract these weirdos because you grew up in a family where there was mental illness and so rather than immediately noticing something off in these new people you are predisposed to accepting odd behavior. You need to learn to "decrease" your instinctive tolerant response, recognize crazy sooner and keep walking!

Your answer definitly blew my mind. Yes, I grew up in a family where there was mental illness and I realized this later in life, and, that predisposition to accept odd behavior fits too. Decrease as a way out of it was what impressive. I will try to to apply that very same reasoning the next time a cast a reading. Thank you very much.

 

[Miglix21]

Hallo

In my experience, a lot of people on earth have some form of mental disorder and can be dangerous if you get close enough to them, meaning if you let dynamics evolve.
Think of couples. Women are often hurt/killed by their male partners. And usually those who are keep falling into these dynamics. But their assailants aren't usually bad people with others, they wouldn't dream of attacking someone else, they only attack people who are close to them. People they get into contact with.

I am sure most people are fine if you keep them at a distance, saying hello and good evening, but nothing more. Keep your borders, don't let them get too near and don't let them know too many things about you.

It can be noticed on a forum as well. As soon as you open up yourself, by disclosing personal details about family or political or sexual or religious view, you are much more likely to get attacked and to fall into dynamics. It's always the same people falling into dynamics.

As for Tinder, I closed it down after realizing 90% of people in there have serious problems. After all, if you need an app to meet someone, there's something wrong. We have always met through friends of friends or through work colleagues. People going on an app usually are not free or are looking for an ideal person or think they have more choice in choosing among 500 people - but choosing what? Appearance from a picture? You fall in love or into sex by looking at someone in their eyes and by smelling their odour (unconsciously). We can't choose from a catalogue.
Of course there'a 10% sane people there but they're probably the ones who will find every excuse not to meet you and you will end up in endless chatting for months, wasting a lot of time because chatting with unknown people is complete delusional.

Hope someone can reply to you on the cast, I can't make much of it really.

I do appreciate the advice. Thank you very much, Olga.

 

[becalm]

Interesting post and response from rosada in terms of why we attract people.
I married a functioning alcoholic although I didn't realise or have knowledge of such a thing at the time - my father was a functioning alcoholic.
The last 3 places I've lived, the landlords have been functioning alcoholics - it must be a 'comfort zone' in our psyche perhaps.
My last attempt at romance was with an abusive kind of man, passive aggressive as were my bosses in a job that I started at the same time. He was also not open to committing to a relationship.
I met two other men after that both non committers and one was also passive/aggressive. Both I told to get lost as soon as I realised. Good for me......hopefully that means lessons learned.

 

[Miglix21]

Interesting post and response from rosada in terms of why we attract people.
I married a functioning alcoholic although I didn't realise or have knowledge of such a thing at the time - my father was a functioning alcoholic.
The last 3 places I've lived, the landlords have been functioning alcoholics - it must be a 'comfort zone' in our psyche perhaps.
My last attempt at romance was with an abusive kind of man, passive aggressive as were my bosses in a job that I started at the same time. He was also not open to committing to a relationship.
I met two other men after that both non committers and one was also passive/aggressive. Both I told to get lost as soon as I realised. Good for me......hopefully that means lessons learned.

Well, perhaps, more in terms of a message that is being conveyed, the thing is that there is still a lesson to be learned as you are just saying. Thank you very much for your reply.

 

[becalm]

I wonder if the message is Decrease what makes you feel at Home (subconscious comfort zone).

Years ago I visited Town S very briefly and always vowed to go back there because I loved it so much and by a twist of fate 25 years later I ended back there and I felt soooooooo at home, like I belonged.
Within 24 hours of being there I met a man that made me feel like we'd met before and felt such a connection with him (the same man I refer to in my last post to you).....to cut a long story short I ended up meeting quite a number of people 90% of who were toxic, but the type of person I'd been meeting all my life and always trying to make a relationship work with them whether it was friendship, romance or whatever.
I also made two friends very quickly who ended up becoming 'fair weather friends' another type of person I've always attracted.
After a couple of months I finally realised that this was a repeating pattern in my life because as time went on I kept meeting the same type of people in this town UNTIL I finally learned to read the Red Flags!
After realising what was going on I made a decision to never go back to that town again as the last straw came when a retailer tried to charge me twice for an item I was buying and I just said to myself ENOUGH!!!! I'm done....I'm now in the process of learning to create a new mindset and let go of old behaviours thereby Decreasing negative behaviours that make me feel at Home.

 

[psychonaut613]

Anecdotal story in lieu of interpretation. I have a best friend who is borderline personality and she has been my best therapist. When she feels very emotional and needs to vent, I let her and listen without judgement and she does the same for me. I have never seen a big meltdown in my presence. I think key is non-polarizing.

This personality type is more and more common these days, I think they are great people they just need to be around the right people sort of like an ASD person. Assertive communication, no elephants in the room and when they have a meltdown instead of just being like you're crazy bc your BP and auto invalidating their feeling you stay right next to them and ride it out like you would with a "normie". Then when they say their I'm sorry I do love you after, you also show them your love as well

 

[Olga Super Star]

What does it mean borderline?

and bipolar? Is it when you are very very sad and then very very happy in less than an hour?

 

[moss elk]

What does it mean borderline?

and bipolar? Is it when you are very very sad and then very very happy in less than an hour?

Those are psychological disorder classifications in the DSM.

Borderline personality disorder is sort of a catch-all category (it's got a smidge of this and some of that, and doesn't exactly fit other categories fully.) that may not exist in 50 years. Anecdotally, psychologists complain this is one of the hardest classifications to treat, the most draining on the psychologist.
(I was in a three year relationship with someone who was incorrectly given this diagnosis, she actually had D.I.D.)

Bipolar Disorder generally has either manic-depressive.(think a 4 day drug and sex binge with strangers) or alternating between depression and rage.
(I was in a six month relationship with someone who had BP2)

It's like what you said, but much more extreme.

'Normie' is a term invented by the mentally ill to describe those that are not mentally ill.
(it's not unlike the criminal lingo term 'straights': that's people who go to work for a living, unrelated to sexuality.)

Miglix, the last time someone else asked this same question here, I said "it's not that you attract them, it's that you fail to repulse them"
and the reason for that is the person in your history with mental illness who was a decrease to your family..
conditioned tolerance or
it feels familiar.

 

[rosada]

I think it's interesting that 37. Family follows 36. Brightness Hidden. HIlary comments that "the home is a refuge. Inner light that had to be hidden away from the outside world is secure here. " That's one way of looking at it, that "when you are unappreciated or unseen, you turn back and connect with like-minded people." But I can see another meaning: The realization that comes when we discover we're surrounded by a bunch of crazy people as Prince Ji did and the next thing we realize is - omg! - these nuts are all my Family!!

 

[becalm]

Miglix, the last time someone else asked this same question here, I said "it's not that you attract them, it's that you fail to repulse them"
and the reason for that is the person in your history with mental illness who was a decrease to your family..
conditioned tolerance or
it feels familiar.

Totally agree with this. I watched my husband, can see it in myself and now my youngest son put up with so much BS.....I used to just think we had high tolerance levels but now I realise it is learned behaviour from either a childhood where you had to bear the unbearable or you watched your parents do it.

 

[my_key]

Why do I keep attracting people with mental disorders?
The answer to that question was hexagram 37.2.3.5 changing into 41.

Hi Miglix21
The information given by others here is respect of their own life experiences is absolutely valid. We become conditioned to 'seek out' people who will treat us in the way we were accustomed to being treated in our formative years. The seeking is not always conscious however these people do tend to appear in our lives in response to unconscious signals (vibrations) that we send out.

The reading is, perhaps, offering guidance around your attracting these people due to the type of Household (37) you run. Based on your upbringing and life experiences to date you have been Diminished (41). Hex 41 offers instruction to be 'sincere and truthful' and having a direction to go as a way through to building a more secure environment for you and around you . Decrease what is lower and increase what is higher. i.e Make your household less attractive to people with mental disorders.

Hex 37 follows on from 36 where our light has been damaged and is a time to be 'steadfast and upright' so that we can put our house in order.
37.2 - Make yourself and your wellbeing the centre of all your decisions. Stand up and be counted. Remember, you are responsible for how you feed and nourish yourself. This includes who you choose to let into your house.
37.3 - Stop bemoaning things of the past or not taking this situation seriously as either could lead to things getting worse.
37.5 - Show real purpose in taking steps to regain the power you have lost and if you stick to this new approach, as if by magic, things will change in your life.

This for me looks to be a really positive cast for you. I don't see things as much as you having to actively 'repulse' anyone, although doing a bit of housework and telling people that you don't want in your life to leave would help. However, just by decreasing the level of historical-based vibrations you are transmitting you will naturally become a less attractive companion for the people with mental disorders.

....or it may be nothing like this at all.

Good Luck

 

[Freedda]

I think the Yi might be saying that there is no cause/effect phenomena which you are part of, and that you're not 'attracting' these people. I think it's suggesting that you shouldn't take yourself so seriously here - like 'lighten up dude' - and that it's probably best if you end this line of inquiry ....

I think there is also advice here that you need to make better personal boundaries for yourself (e.g. about who you let into your live and how you let them effect you) - otherwise you end up with 'an ill wind that blows nobody any good'.

 

[moss elk]

I don't see things as much as you having to actively 'repulse' anyone.

Boundaries and fences passively repulse.

 

[rosada]

"A childhood where you had to bear the unbearable." Wow, Becalm, that idea really holds truth. It leads me to the insight that ALL childhoods to one degree or another are a torturous come down from the vision our souls imagined and then came to earth to be. It's like we've been kidnapped from Heaven and now we're all stuck here in 3rd dimensional reality battling Stockholm syndrom where we're the captive who ultimately comes to align with the oppressor, first to survive and then because we lose touch with ourselves and our own values and beliefs and for security we've taken on the values of those around us.
That's how you come to bear the unbearable - you accept it as best you can and try not to forget who you really are and where you come from .

 

[becalm]

"A childhood where you had to bear the unbearable." Wow, Becalm, that idea really holds truth. It leads me to the insight that ALL childhoods to one degree or another are a torturous come down from the vision our souls imagined and then came to earth to be. It's like we've been kidnapped from Heaven and now we're all stuck here in 3rd dimensional reality battling Stockholm syndrom where we're the captive who ultimately comes to align with the oppressor, first to survive and then because we lose touch with ourselves and our own values and beliefs and for security we've taken on the values of those around us.
That's how you come to bear the unbearable - you accept it as best you can and try not to forget who you really are and where you come from .

I'm not sure what you are saying in your last sentence.....are you saying yes bear the unbearable but don't forget who you are?
I believe there are some things that we have no control of which are unbearable and we need to get through and not lose touch with the deeper part of our being (soul) but there are other times where we find ourselves tolerating situations that we don't need to be in (that's where I'm a little confused about what you've said). I learned that the hard way and totally became out of touch with my true being.
The present healing I'm going through is really bringing me back to myself. Hallelujah for that!!

 

[rosada]

Maybe it comes down to the challenge to change the things you can change, accepting the things you can't, and the WILLINGNESS to know the difference!

Anyway, congratulations on your healing journey!