Why Hex 22 Beauty?? when he was blarring all nasty words at me??

[free]

Hi All,

I'm depressed at the moment. This man was so male chauvinistic and we had a huge quarrel because I felt he was so insensitive, think of himself only. He shouted at me and said if I can't live with this character of him, I had better plan for an amicable break. He will simply move on to another new relationship. He won't stay put and so called "give in" to me. If I don't want an amicable break, he can make it very nasty and fight for his sons' custody in court etc etc.

I consulted I Ching whether this man meant what he said. Do all these demeaning words truely reflect his feelings/thinkings?

And I got Hex 22 lines 3 & 5 and change to Hex 42.

How can hex 22 be grace? How can it leads to hex 42 increasing?

Please enlighten me.

 

[mirian]

Dear free,

In my own experience, Hex 22 has had more to do with superficial and hollow (rather than grace and beauty).
It my imply a superficial approach to life/problems/others or a lack of consistency in attitude/behaviour/actions. I see line 3 as really describing this sort of attitude and could be related to what you call his insensitive/selfish behaviour towards you. Line 5 usually comes up when we think that we don't have a lot to offer or contribute (either to someone or to a particular situation). So, he might think that his character is not suitable and his personality does not fit well in this relationship and he feels that he is not giving a lot.

This is my experience with your reading, hope that helps a bit. By the way, Hex 22 does not lead to Hex 42, but when you have some time you can read/learn more about how to interpret relating hexagrams (in your case 42) in relation to the main hexagram (22).

Take care :bows:

 

[free]

Dear Mirian

Can I say he doesn't really meant all that he said but in a fit of anger only? Hence, the superficial attitude /remarks he made to me. Then he did say about not able to buy a home for me and our sons now and be successful in his career which is the Line 5 where he felt he doesn't have much to offer for us and he felt he is not giving much.

Do you think so too?

 

[mirian]

Dear free,

I wouldn't go as far as to say that he didn't meant it. I think that it is the way he feels now, the way that he thinks now. For me that is the thing about Hex 22, the person cannot see any further than this, the lack of depth both in attitude and thinking. As for line 5, yes I think that is referring to his thinking (or a real situation) that what he has to offer is not enough. In my experience with this line the person in fact feels a little ashamed/uncomfortable for not having something better (or more) to give.

:bows:

 

[rodaki]

hi free,

have you been around Exploring Divination these days? There's an extended discussion on 22 going on there.

I have a quite different approach in understanding this hexagram, so what you'll find here won't apply to the usual ideas of 22

The first thing that came into mind reading your post was an expression we use in my native language concerning receiving offensive language (especially line 5), and that is that one 'got bejeweled . Fwiw, I've seen in the past 22 coming up for questions about situations concerning aggressive behavior, so I see the fire of the lower trigram as real and burning. Mountain on top makes me think of something seething - it's not dangerous, but it is for real, iow.

22.3 has often described for me a situation that can hardly be covered up - it's more like bursting at the seams . . It's a precarious place to be in, so one needs to be careful there to not fall into excess

22.5 is a line that has made me wonder in the past. Looking back, I think that its symbols, a shabby silk, shameful but true, was about how the person referred to, felt about his behavior - not something to make himself proud, but at least true and thus valuable for what it was

All in all, I think that what you got was a truthful reflection of what that person was feeling at the moment - mind you, that doesn't mean that these are the feelings he has after he releases his steam and that fire cools off a bit - at that time though, it looks like his words were genuine.
Having said that, the way I see it, the truths of 22 are revealed in what stands the test of time, so you need to let the situation rest for a while, to see what keeps strong and what was said in the heat of the moment

wishing you the best with this!

 

[free]

Thanks Rodaki.. It is consoling to know that I Ching always provide advice for me whenever I need help and there are helpful people like you and Mirian to explain to me and give me more insights. And I agree with you about resting for a while and let us cool down cos I consulted one more time about how I should move on from here and I got Hex 33 Retreat line 3.

And I'm surprised or even appalled to get Hex 51 twice for asking whether there's any future for us and whether he truly love me. Why the same hex? I do feel scared when I received it twice today. Is it an auspicious hex for relationship btw?

Can you help me one more time on this?

 

[rodaki]

hey free,

you're much welcomed!
51 is a powerful hexagram, it's one of rapid changes, initiating charges, upheaval, shock, turmoil. In the midst of it, you are asked to keep your chalice intact - keep your heart whole, keep what you hold sacred, true.
It's very hard to make out what will remain when the world around still rumbles and shakes, this is not about a time for certainties . . sorry if I can't help more, but I don't think things are as of yet crystallized . . one thing I do know, is you need to be discriminating about what you allow to shake you up - as the Image says:



Thus in fear and trembling
The superior man sets his life in order
And examines himself.
(Wilhelm)


Resounding thunder
Arousal
The noble young one makes use of fear and alarm
to adjust and examine
(Bradford)

 

[Trojina]

Hex 51 especially unchanging can be a purely internal experience. Last person I knew who cast it was concerned about the health of her heart as she was sent for tests. She cast 51uc over how much the ill health of her heart would affect her life. Turned out she had nothing wrong with her heart she was just shocked by the need for tests ! Most often 51 doesn't describe greatly shocking things at all but an internal state of excitement....it's a very emotional hexagram...the chalice will be your emotional equilibrium. As an auspice for relationship I would say it's not indicated but I wonder if this is kind of all held within you, nothing external is really happening. Also with your previous 22 answer I think he may simply have a sense of inadequacy (22.5) that makes him nasty....so I wonder if on the whole to best help yourself you might try ways to bolster your own self esteem

 

[mirian]

Dear free,

I agree with rodaki, hex 51 is not about your future, as the situation as it is you can hardly define his true feelings towards you and what the future holds.
Hex 33.3 confirms that it is a moment to take a step back, try to detach yourself a bit, even though it is a difficult thing to do, as you feel stressed out, but you need to keep your balance, as your readings are still not showing the outcome of all of this.

Please take care:bows:

 

[bradford]

You really need to look deeper into the hexagrams than just the titles.
That's one of the biggest mistakes that people make with the Yi.
And the Wilhelm titles are pretty bad about a third of the time.
Grace and Beauty don't cut it at all for 22. Like Miriam said,
22 is much more about a lack of depth, lots of surfaces.
There's lots of nearsightedness in 22, which is not as pejorative
a term as shortsightedness. You just can't make big decisions here.

 

[anemos]

Its interesting to see h51 as a follow up question/answer for his forceful utterance, as in 51 both sounds and balance have to do with the same organ in humans body, ie ear.

"Shock brings success" ~ Wilhelm, 51 Judgement.
The way I see it, in this occasion could mean that you could utilize his words , the visible part of his feelings(22) , retreat from all those feelings, ideas, reactions that don't match or don't offer anything , depart from a engaged-to -the conflict position and re-examine the situation. 33 usually is not about leaving a situation but takings a distance to see the whole picture.

As it appears in my eyes there is; a zoom-in (22) and a closer examination (42) ; zoom-out(33>12) ; and an advice how to listen and utilize those info you got to make your future plans (your as singular and plural)

 

[free]

Have you read the I Ching book by Wu Wei?

Dear all
I was reading hex 51 explanation by this author Wu Wei, he says
"Only if you understand completely that the shock is entirely for your benefit will success come. If you react by complaining or bemoaning your fate, as if you have suffered a catastrophe, the true meaning of the shock will elude you, as will its blessings."

So I guess I've to be positive that this outburst of his which is a shock to me can shake me out of complacency and to work towards strengthening this relationship.

I hope things will get better.

Do check out this I Ching , The Book of Answers by Wu Wei.

 

[mirian]

Well, never mind, you could also throw a coin into the air, decide between head or tails and make a decision from there