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Why is there no man in the horizon for me at the moment? 1.2.5 > 30

Danimedlin97

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I haven't had so much luck in my love life. I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago and suffered a lot from it... because I really wanted it to work out. In fact, after all this time, there is a part of me that still wants to be with him.

On the other hand, I am moving on and been dating a few guys. I don't like dating apps, so I just let life flow and see what is out there for me. All the men I am dating are either emotionally unavailable, in another city, stuck on their ex, immature, etc. On the top of it, my ex and I have had a bit of a romantic period the past few months, but it's meaningless because he doesn't show interest to start anew.

All these experiences have left me a little hopeless when it comes to love, and it hurts me. I decided to ask the I Ching why is there no man for me in the horizon at the moment and I got:

1 (The Creative) with changing lines 2 and 5 > 30 (Clarity)

The first hexagram seems very positive... but I don't quite know how to translate as an answer to my question. I read it signifies a "great time" but exactly THAT is what I feel I am lacking. The relating hexagram I understand it as some kind of union... so, maybe I will meet someone special?

I don't know... I am hoping you guys can help me... I would really appreciate your thoughts <3
 

redoleander

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I’m sorry the love landscape doesn’t feel especially bright now. It’s interesting because upon reading just the title of your post (the question and casting) I knew it was going to be exactly what you described with reconvening with your ex!

30 seems to often be one of those connections that’s really addictive and hard to shake. Codependency, strong attraction, whatever it is… it doesn’t seem to translate into something that actually works. Of course, I’d never rule an entire hexagram to be a “no” for relationships but 1 > 30 looks to me like pouring your energy into this very intense connection that can’t go anywhere. You see it but you can’t seem to change it yet.

Both hexagrams are lovely in their own ways and the two lines you received are ‘good’ so it’s a great example of good/bad not really being the issue or what’s useful for interpretation.

I think the two lines might represent simply the two of you, and then the hidden line 13.5 shows the reunion, you coming back together. I don’t think this reading judges your relationship with this person as good or bad, it’s just telling you that’s why there’s no one else on the horizon. You might need to 1) see if this can actually go somewhere real or 2) disentangle for there to be more possibilities.
 

Danimedlin97

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Thank you so much for this!

I was very impressed when you described my relationship. It's exactly like that. I had to read the second paragraph you wrote more than once because the accuracy scared me! :)

So... if I understood it right, basically there is no man on the horizon because he is still somehow in the picture... but... if that's the case, why isn't working out at all? I came to this conclusion myself at times, but it's frustrating and it makes me suffer.

I guess you're right. I have two options. I can see if it actually leads somewhere, or detach. I've been battling between these two this whole year, and recently even before doing this reading I came to the conclusion that I surrender to this battle. I accept that my feelings for him are there, but I give up trying to make it work, or I give up trying to detach. I am just there.

Thanks again, this helped me a lot. <3
 

redoleander

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It's possible that you could ask what to do about this relationship? Or what the future of the relationship is?

I think you're right that usually you can't really force yourself to take an action you're not ready to take. It's maybe more like becoming willing to see things clearly and accept them as they are, then act accordingly.

I don't know if this person's presence blocking you from other relationship necessarily means it can work out. Sometimes we just aren't truly open or are just too tied to someone for anything to enter. Which isn't easy because there can be a waiting period in between, making it easy to go back to the old.

I think only you know what's truly right or eventually will know. The reading is, in a way, saying "there is a man, this man you've chosen." Then the question becomes if you're actually happy with this as what it is.

That said, there are many possible interpretations so others will have different perspectives to offer.
 

marybluesky

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In his translation of both lines Bradford says: Rewarding to encounter a mature human being.

You ask why there is no man in horizon & the I Ching says because you need to meet a mature man (I read it as emotionally mature). If you do, it would be clear as day (30). No doubts or push-pulls
 

Danimedlin97

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It's possible that you could ask what to do about this relationship? Or what the future of the relationship is?

I think you're right that usually you can't really force yourself to take an action you're not ready to take. It's maybe more like becoming willing to see things clearly and accept them as they are, then act accordingly.

I don't know if this person's presence blocking you from other relationship necessarily means it can work out. Sometimes we just aren't truly open or are just too tied to someone for anything to enter. Which isn't easy because there can be a waiting period in between, making it easy to go back to the old.

I think only you know what's truly right or eventually will know. The reading is, in a way, saying "there is a man, this man you've chosen." Then the question becomes if you're actually happy with this as what it is.

That said, there are many possible interpretations so others will have different perspectives to offer.
Thank you for your words! Yes... I am still meditating what to interpret with all this new information.
 

Danimedlin97

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In his translation of both lines Bradford says: Rewarding to encounter a mature human being.

You ask why there is no man in horizon & the I Ching says because you need to meet a mature man (I read it as emotionally mature). If you do, it would be clear as day (30). No doubts or push-pulls

Thank you!

Yes, I can relate... hopefully I will have the chance to meet someone mature.
 

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