Will the child be separated from the loving nanny 36.5.6>37 and 22.5>37

[pamelavaris]

A friend of mine is a single, working mother. Her child has been largely raised by a loving nanny, and the child (5-year-old) and nanny share a very deep bond. Without going into too many details, I will say that the mother has some emotional/mental health issues, and hasn't been able to connect to the child and be a caring mother. The nanny is more the child's mother than the biological mother. The friend has received a tentative job offer that will require her to move abroad (with the child), separating the child and the nanny, as she won't be able to take the nanny with her (or won't try to). The nanny has been crying to me unable to bear the thought of being separated from the child. The move will, of course, be devastating to the child. I asked if the job offer will come through (given that these are Covid times with international travel and Visa restrictions) and if the friend will move and got 36.5.6>37. This was a little hard for me to interpret, but it seemed to me that the move will be difficult to materialize. I then framed a more easily interpretable question and asked if the nanny and child will stay together and got 22.5>37. So there's 37 for both questions which points to family and close relations-telling me that they will not be separated. Can I please know your thoughts? I am close to the child too and very concerned at this point, so would appreciate your responses. Thank you!

 

[legume]

i understand your question as having the child's best interest at heart, but i feel the Yi might be saying with 36.5.6 > 37 there is some possibility of the move, or even if not, the possibility of breaking the bond with the nanny. since you're asking from the perspective of the nanny, i'd say that irrelevant of the outcome this situation might require for the nanny to "hide her brightness", remain tactful, pretend to be more detached or even feign ignorance (35.5) and no matter how painful it might be (36.6) this might actually help create or strengthen the bond between the mother and the child (37). i'm not sure about 22.5, maybe it's about sincerity of feeling that plays the most important role here, but again, i wouldn't relate 37 to the nanny, but rather to actual family relations. i'm sorry if that's not what you possibly hoped to hear.

 

[pamelavaris]

Thank you, Legume. It's hard to hear, but I appreciate that you wrote in and will take what you said into consideration. The nanny has been managing things skilfully, between being the mother's employee and the child's caretaker. I have seen the child go through much distress because of the mother, and have tried my best as a friend to advise the mother, but it's really been difficult and I have been cut off from the child. I have been in touch with the nanny though. I'm all for the mother and child's bond to develop, but hope that the nanny can continue at least for a few more years. Can anyone else weigh in on 22.5?

 

[pamelavaris]

@rosada any thoughts? I have appreciated your responses previously, so thought I would reach out. Thanks!

 

[pamelavaris]

Posting an update. My friend did not get the job--there were Visa/immigration issues. She is continuing to look for other opportunities outside the country.

 

[pamelavaris]

Update. My friend and her child finally moved to another country a week ago. The mother is thankfully maintaining contact between the child and nanny through video calls. But the child is obviously having a hard time and is appearing shaken, but brightens up when she sees the nanny. She will be spending a lot of time in daycare/school, and I am hopeful that she will learn to cope, hopefully through help from teachers/mentors.

 

[rosada]

Thank you for the update. As 22 often describes wishful thinking or visions and dreams, I can see it here as depicting the Nanny and the child keeping their 37. Family together with the internet, not as good as being together in person but still "a small role of silk" strong enough to keep the inner connection alive.