Will we be happy together? 24.1.3.5.6 Turning point > 53 gradual progress

[elizabeth]

I recently met a man and we would like to start a family together. We care about each other deeply but there are many obstacles ahead of us and I want to know if we will be happy together in the long term. I asked the Yi and it gave me 24.1.3.5.6 > 53.

What concerns me is line 6, as the final line of hex 24 which is the most negative line in the hexagram.

We go from line 1: subject returning from an error of no great extent, which would not proceed to anything requiring repentance. There will be great good fortune.
to line 3: one who had made repeated returns. [returns from where??] The position is perilous, but there will be no error.
to line 5: shows the noble return of its subject. There will be no ground for repentance.
To the last line: shows its subject all astray on the subject of returning. There will be evil. There will be calamities and errors. If with his views he put the hosts in motion, the end will be a great defeat, whose issues will extend to the ruler of the state. Even in ten years he will be not be able to repair the disaster.

Dooes that imply being with this man will be a disaster or am I oversimplifying??

KING WEN'S EXPLANATION OF THE HEXAGRAM
There will be advantage in whatever direction movement is made: the strong lines are growing and increasing.

DUKE OF CHOU'S EXPLANATION OF THE LINES
• Returning from an error of no great extent is the prelude to the cultivation of the person.

• The good fortune attendant on the admirable return of the subject of the second line is due to his condescension to the virtuous subject of the line below.

• Notwithstanding the perilous position of him who has made many returns, there will be no error through his aiming after righteousness.

• He moves right in the center among those represented by the other divided lines, and yet returns alone: his object is to pursue the proper path.

• The noble return, giving no ground for repentance, is due to the subject of the line striving to perfect himself in accordance with his central position.

• The evil consequent on being all astray on the subject of returning is because the course pursued is contrary to the proper course for a ruler.

The second hex is maybe the "Final answer" of the set and it shows marriage...
53> the marriage of a young lady, and the good fortune attending it. There will be advantage in being firm and correct.

Would these hexagrams show disaster or not? Would I look more at line 6 more, or hex 53? (I have been on about a 2 year hiatus from the Yi so I am a little rusty here..!)

 

[BillDai]

The guy whithin whom you find love is a casanova. He had a rich life in romantic terms, and now he is tired of such a life. You are the one who offer him the final stop of the life. Your divination shows a great result, but i am afraid that you will meet disloyalty after you get married with the gay. He is likely to feel bored with his monogamus relationship with you.

This is my interpretation upon your divination. I am not an epert of Yi-Ching, so you don't have to take my words seriously. Maybe my interpretation is wrong.

 

[elizabeth]

is that a personal guess? and based on ...??

 

[Trojina]

As there are so many moving lines I personally would not worry much about 24.6. IMO 53 is the stronger hexagram here....24 is so on the brink of changing into it.

Lines 1 and 6 move.....and so often there is a sense of rush with that, or the situation works itself out quickly, often I see the relating hexagram almost push through the primary.


I still find it a difficult reading to pin down.....but my sense of it is SLOW DOWN.....don't push too hard, let things take their time to develop. 53 is very gradual and it's very 'proper' as in all the stages of the courtship need to be gone through. You can't 'fast track' it and all those lines in 24 give me the sense of fast track.

Would these hexagrams show disaster or not?

Disaster ? I don't think they predict disaster.....but I do think the 24.6 shows a danger of rushing, I mean that's how I see the whole answer.


Also 53 is about courtship, building a relationship, eventual pregnancy. I would urge you not to get too far ahead of yourself and I would also urge you not to rush into pregnancy.


I think you are going to have to take it slow and you will need patience....and you may need to allow him to pace the relationship.


Good Luck

 

[Trojina]

You asked "will we be happy together ?" and I think this answer shows happiness is made moment by moment....in the now. You have to take time to enjoy the now...you may have to learn to do that.

Read hex 53 carefully for the way to go....you allow each stage to unfold at the right pace. You need to take time with him ...and he with you.

 

[elizabeth]

Hi Trojan Thanks for the responses. Now my candid input. The situation *does* at times feel rushed and pressured. I can't get into practical details as to why, but it does. Part of it is just plain circumstances. He wants certain things and he wants to be with me and he..."pushes". I feel pressure. Part of it is from me (only in terms of my time for pregnancy is past ie already run out), part is from him (he considers our rel'ship already a done deal whereas i have doubts, I think more than he does, but also bc i have more to lose than he does, both emotionally/financially and timewise), part is from outside circumstances (partly long distance) that are pressuring both of us.

The takeaway here for me is what you wrote about learning take time to enjoy the now. I am learning a lot of things from him, he is teaching me about myself. Its a growth situation, and in that respect i feel like i must be in the right place. But there is tension too due to the circumstances and that tension sometimes makes me question it all. Like it shoudl be happy and easy without strain or without this much strain.

 

[Trojina]

. He wants certain things and he wants to be with me and he..."pushes". I feel pressure

Hmm well I do feel clear now you have explained more that you really can't let this pressure move you. If you do you have the 24.6...it's all too late, a wasted effort. He needs to let you take your time without pressure. I'd assumed it was you who was pressing as I know you wanted kids.

Part of it is from me (only in terms of my time for pregnancy is past ie already run out)

it hasn't already run out as you said earlier

I recently met a man and we would like to start a family together.

I guess you just mean time is pressing on and you can't delay.


But whoever is pressuring who.....whatever the hurry the answer asks you to slow down IMO.

The takeaway here for me is what you wrote about learning take time to enjoy the now. I am learning a lot of things from him, he is teaching me about myself. Its a growth situation, and in that respect i feel like i must be in the right place.

Sounds nice

 

[elizabeth]

I do feel time has run out regarding pregnancy...that I do feel. So there's pressure there, whether I want it or not. I didn't create female biology. There's a lot I'd have changed, if I had!

Regarding him...I dont know sometimes he will say "then let's just wait" but he knows that if we do that, we lose our chance...he also at times will pressure me about the child issue... Because we jsut met, he knew I was lookign to use a donor (now we get into some of the details). Anyway he said he'd rather the child have a father (him) and frankly SO WOULD I.... I don't know.

The pressure issue though is about circumstances, what I have to go through in order to see him, there is pressure involved in that (emotional and financial). In a way, sure -- I could just not see him. He's in another city for 12 mos, possibly as long as 24 more months. So if I dont go see him (He can't come to me in this case), then there's no pressure ... BUT also no progress. In this particular situation i do not see a way to have progress without pressure. I've never had such a situation before and I spend a lot of time thinking how to shift things and I am not sure there is any option. I kind of feel like i'm being pulled in this direction, like it is some power outside of me, if that makes any sense (???) And i dont mean pregnancy wise, I mean to him, to the relationship, to ..yes to speedier... Its hard to put in to words.

I keep telling myself anything is reversible...(aside from a child but I was prepared to be a single mom anyway).

 

[BillDai]

I am chinese. Please allow me to spare time to explain my logic of interpretating the divination.
I read your following post about the relationship between you and your boyfriend, and think that you
should not continue the relationship. A hasty marraige under pressure is doomed to be disappointing.
This is my personal suggestion, which has nothing to do with the divination.

By the way, you can ask him about his past romantic life, and i guess you will find something useful.

You are now in a confusion, so please be careful when you make every decisison. See you

 

[elizabeth]

I've been trying to formulate a follow-up question here. The current situation is that I have a choice to basically either put the entire relationship on hold (off) OR move forward full steam ahead. there's not an option for middle ground. In part that is because we are long distance. Bc of what he does, and where he is (and my own citizenship and visa situation) we cant see each other daily. So we have an intense (four times per day) relationship and i've been to see him. BUT in order to keep seeing him for legal purposes I will have to move forward or else keep this only on a phone level for...1 to 2 years max. This is complicating the whole rush/not rush factor. I am not sure if i'm making sense here. I have looked at this every which way for the past 2-3 weeks, and in the past week or so my concerns have grown as I just dont see any other options. A or B. In completely, or basically, out.

So in that respect, how do I "not rush"? I Can delay pregnancy - there are easy means to do that pharmaceutically. But -- the rushing, the pace? how about that? concretely what does this mean?


(<---the icon bears no relation, i just thought it was cute!)

 

[1eleven]

Happiness cannot be found
through great effort and willpower,
but is already here, right now,
in relaxation and letting go.
Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do.
Whatever arises in the mind
has no importance at all,
because it has no reality whatsoever.
Don't become attached to it. Don't pass judgement.
Let the game happen on its own,
emerging and falling back - without changing anything -
and all will vanish and begin anew, without end.
Only our searching for happiness prevents us from seeing it.
It is like a rainbow which you run after without ever catching it.
Although it does not exist, it has always been there
and accompanies you every instant.
Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences;
they are like rainbows.
Wanting to grasp the ungraspable you exhaust yourself in vain.
As soon as you relax this grasping,
there is space - open, inviting and comfortable.
So make use of it. Everything is already yours.
Search no more,
Don't go into the inextricable jungle
looking for the elephant who is already quietly at home.
Nothing to do,
nothing to force,
nothing to want
and everything happens by itself.

- Lama Gendun Rinpoche

 

[elizabeth]

I agree with that but in this case I was made an offer that I have to accept or reject. Doing nothing is rejecting it -- rejecting a chance at happiness. It also means if i want to pick up where i left off again in a few months, i get to redo thousands of dollars and travel plans that i already went through. (long story but those are facts) so either i save myself the redo or i ...dont.

the poem implies acceptance as "forcing", since it is not being offered to me on my conditions, on my timeline. Is that forcing?