worried about a friend

[esolo]

I'm worried about a friend of mine. He has seemed very depressed lately and perhaps having some sort of spiritual crisis resulting I think from some pretty bad things that have gone on in his life. He doesn't want to talk about and I don't want to push it. I was really worried though and I asked.

How is his mental state right now?
59.6 to 29

What does he believe about God, a higher power etc?
47

From the first answer I think he just wants to be left alone, or is he giving things away and thinking about suicide? Going far away etc. The 29 really bothers me! Should I be worried about this answer or is it simply saying that he's releasing his pain, working things through?

The second question seems obvious.

 

[rosada]

Hi esolo,
I agree, 29 could be indicating he is feeling he has no one outside himeslf to turn to now."Should I be worried?" sounds like the start of coming up with the next useful question. Maybe something more along the lines of, "How should I respond to my friend at this time?'

R.

 

[willowfox]

"How is his mental state right now?
59.6 to 29"

Hex 59.6 A crisis point. He is trying to stay out of danger(?), so he desires some space from others, needs to be alone. If he does not physically move, then he will retreat into his own thoughts.

Hex 29 He feels alone and surrounded by problems and troubles(some real, many imaginery), again he wants to be alone. He needs to face his problems and be strong, then he will win through.

"What does he believe about God, a higher power etc? hex 47"

Hex 47 He is in a state of self pity, full of negative thoughts, depressed and thinking about the past, death/the dead/life after death, going back over his life to date. If he ever believed in a higher something, then he probably now feels it has deserted him, so he suffers. All he can do is wait for the mood to pass.

Around the beginning of January he should be over it, perhaps it is the holiday blues.

 

[rosada]

I read your question esolo while i was ruminating about a story in our news here locally. It seemed to me the answer you got 59.6 - 29 could refer to the situation I was thinking about as well:
A man, James Kim, got lost driving his family through the Oregon forest. He left the wife and children in the car and went off to seek help on foot. Doesn't that sound like 59.6? He is trying to "find a way out of a danger that is already upon them. In this way he does what is right." (Wilhelm) The change to hexagram 29 would also make sence if it were commenting on Mr. Kim's mental state, that is a feeling that he alone can rescue his family. And of course 47 would also fit. Unfortunately, as of this writing he has not yet been found (although rescuers have found his car and family unharmed.)

Anyway, because I read your post while thinking about Mr. Kim's situation and I see parallels between the two stories, I am writing now to say I have a different view from Willowfox's interpretation that your friend is best left alone at this time. Rather I suggest that while your friend may feel only he can save himself, note that you were only asking about his "Mental state" so even though your friend may indeed FEEL this way, you hadn't asked what you should do and therefore the I Ching is not necessarily advising you to leave him alone.

Interesting, Willowfox, that you saw in the reading that some of the friend's fears might be imaginary. Certainly in the case of Mr. Kim his fear they would never be found led him astray. He would have been better off staying in the car. How did you come up with the January date? Were you using horary astrology?

 

[willowfox]

"I am writing now to say I have a different view from Willowfox's interpretation that your friend is best left alone at this time."

Hi, I said that his friend wants to be alone, wants to soak in his sorrows. I did not say that it is best to leave him alone. The question only asked where his head is at.
So carrying this story beyond the actual question asked, I would certainly presume that the friend needs some moral support in his hour of need, a few beers or something stronger, some friendly chit chat just to let him know that he is not alone in this world. That his self pity achieves nothing. So time to see the sun.

 

[rosada]

Hi willowfox. I just reread your original comment. Yes, I see you did not say to leave him alone. Thanks for the clarification!

 

[rosada]

hmm..but you are saying you think 59.6 indicates he "wants" to be alone? I don't get that. I see it as meaning he feels he must do what he's doing and that he has no one to turn to. But I don't see it as commenting on whether he would like or would refuse company. Rather a feeling that he has no choice.

 

[dobro p]

"How is his mental state right now?
59.6 to 29"

Pretty dicey mental state. He's either trying to disperse a seriously harmful mental state, which requires going through a lot of danger in the process, or that's what he *needs* to do.

"What does he believe about God, a higher power etc? 47"

His belief about/relationship with God is characterized by a sense of oppression. William James wrote a very interesting book called 'The Varieties of Religious Experience'. In addition to describing the sort of mystic states and transports that you'd expect of a book of this type, he also describes the experiences of people who find contact with spirit to be hellish. It's another way to learn about God. Not much fun, though.

 

[willowfox]

"hmm..but you are saying you think 59.6 indicates he "wants" to be alone? I don't get that. I see it as meaning he feels he must do what he's doing and that he has no one to turn to. But I don't see it as commenting on whether he would like or would refuse company. Rather a feeling that he has no choice."

The line says that he wants to stay out of danger, he considers others to be harmful to him, so he chooses to be alone, his own choice. As I said before, many of his problems are imaginary, but he thinks that he is in serious danger and that why he wants to isolate himself from the world. But the real danger that he faces is himself.

 

[esolo]

Thank you to everyone who replied. I asked what he needed right now and I got 9.3...which I'm not sure how to interpret. I think it's saying that he shouldn't make too much out of this problem, that he'll get over it. This seems to go along with Willowfox's view that he's perhaps overreacting.

 

[willowfox]

" I asked what he needed right now and I got 9.3 > 61"

He needs help but wait for the moment because he is too difficult to deal now. Take a slow approach, show him that you are being sincere because he does not trust anyone at the moment, he is fearful of all human contact, he is reliving a past that is best forgotten, digging up old memories and fears that have passed their sell-by-date, believing and fearing the ghosts of a christmas long past. His thoughts need restraining, he needs to be earthed. Yes, he is overreacting, but some depressive people do that, seeing things that aren't there and thus digging the hole deeper.
But, later he will open up to you, then you can try get to the root of his imaginary problems and set his head straight, show him that ghosts cannot harm him, and that the human race has no ill feelings towards him. He will calm down and come around. Just needs a little help from his friends.

 

[rosada]

esolo, if you click on "hexagram index" in the blue column on the left and then click on hexagram 9 and then on to the second page you'll find the "Memorizing the I Ching" thread for hex 9. This includes some interesting insights into line 9.3.

Wilhelm suggests this line indicates that, "even a strong man cannot so use his power to exert the right influence on those around him. He experiences a rebuff where he expected an easy victory, and he thus compromises his dignity." This makes me think perhaps your friend will not let you help him, even though you would think - as you are his friend - that he would. But 61, Inner Truth suggests to me that even though he may push you away, your sincere intentions will register. So in answer to the question, "What does he need?" I see 9.3 as suggesting you make some gesture of goodwill, like inviting him out for a cup of coffee, which he will most likely refuse, but don't get your feelings hurt, the fact that you cared enough to call will mean something.

 

[esolo]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I don't know exactly what's going on with my friend right now but I suspect that he's taking some time to retreat from life a bit and think things through. I just asked what his overall emotional state right now is and got 39.5 to 15 which is a really good answer I think given the circumstances:

In the midst of the greatest obstructions,
Friends come.

 

[willowfox]

"I just asked what his overall emotional state right now is and got 39.5 to 15 "

Hex 39.5 your friend is suffering right now and needs help.

Hex 15 he needs to sort himself out, to balance his thinking, to reduce all those nasty negative thoughts that are swirling about in his head, and so become much more positive in his outlook.

 

[esolo]

Hex 39.5 your friend is suffering right now and needs help.

So you think it means that he's not getting the help he needs?

 

[willowfox]

"So you think it means that he's not getting the help he needs?"

No, I am only saying that he needs help right now from you or whoever, anybody who is willing to take an interest in his well being. Sick people don't get well straight away, they need time to heal, they also need support in their time of need. You are that support, so be there.

 

[jesed]

Hi esolo

Please check your PM's inbox

Best wishes