Hi, everyone.

A person who asked the Question that resulted in this hexagram is a woman who had been in love with a man for almost a year now and who now wanted to know more about their future.
The background of the situation ain't bright at all- the year that is behind her has brought many harsh moments, disappointments and tears. The man whom she is in love with approached her last May (2009.), she went out with him once and then concluded that she didn't feel ready for a new relationship since she still felt trapped under the ruins of her last relationship.
He seemed very disappointed but decided to stay close and at least "be around". But, only a moth later, her feelings started to change, she began to notice his positive sides, to enjoy his company and his signs of affection..she started to like him and, before you know it, she was in love like she had never been before.
But, then the troubles also began. For no obvious reason and though he was still very keen on her, each time she'd think that they would finally start a relationship, he'd change his behaviour,often become distant for about a month and then they'd get close again. But he would then temporarily freeze the situation just like the previous time.
At first she thought that he was maybe simply trying to be cautious since she had turned him once (which, at least to a certain extent was probably at least partially true) but then she found out that he had had a girlfriend before he met her and that the girlfriend was back in the game. He was not involved with his ex at the time but the Querent did not like the situation and she tried to get over him. She didn't see him for about a month last autumn which is when he started dating his ex girlfriend again. But, as soon as they saw each other again, the story continued. he said that he was now sure that his ex was definitely not the best person for him whilst the Querent admitted that she was ready for a relationship with him. 5 days later he called and said that his ex/current girlfriend was pregnant. And, that was it. Their relationship ended before it even started. he said that he felt as though being caught into a trap but there was no way out of it either.

The Querent did try to move on only with very little success. The main reason for this prolonged period of desperation is actually him who is still very kind to her and obviously still very much in love with her too. But his girlfriend is now 6 months pregnant.
After she stumbled upon the two of them in the street yesterday, she decided to ask a question about their future (together) . She has no intention in breaking his relationship but, as you can imagine,she was secretly hoping to hear that the two of them would eventually be together. But she was also ready to hear that they wouldn't - she thought that it might help her to finally move on and to heal her heart.

I expected to see a strong sign of caution but, after going through the descriptions of the hexagrams gotten and especially after reading this old thread (LINK ) I must say that I am a bit confused.

The result is 14.1.6 >32

Some 10 months ago, after asking a question in regards to this same situation only before any of the aforementioned problems happened, the reading was strongly suggesting that her steps should be modest and her attitude humble. She got a similar reading from a tarotologist as well.
Seeing nr.14 in the beginning makes me wonder if this is yet another indication of a similar necessity- to be patient. But, here I would really need to be sure; false hopes are not something that she needs at the moment.
Yet, this is such a beautiful hexagram.
The changing line 1. seems to be so very indicative of the initial stage of their "relationship"

Great possession that is still in its beginnings and that has not yet been challenged brings no blame, since there has been no opportunity to make mistakes. Yet there are many difficulties to be overcome.

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This sounds so familiar and so very true. As soon as she realised that his girlfriend was pregnant, she completely removed herself from the situation and did not pursue the relationship. She is guilty for loving him but has firmly decided not become his mistress and the cause of troubles in a situation that involves a pregnant woman.
Obviously, the obstacles are still very much present and it is expected that not much will change in the future.

But the line 6. is confusing. Confucius said:

Heaven helps the man who is devoted; men help the man who is true.

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What do you think this might mean? It is a very good sign for her, obviously, but does this imply that there still is some hope for the two of them?

And, finally, the final hexagram nr.32 - Duration .

Does this actually mean that she should keep her faith? To keep nurturing her feelings foraslong as she thinks that she can survive the negative consequences?

It is a very slippery ground because the idea of a broken family is not the ultimate example of a positive outcome and still, we do not know if the man from the Question will actually stay with this other woman (I strongly advised the Querent against asking questions about his life and insisted on a constructive question the answer to which she could use constructively).
Now, I am aware that this hexagram does imply a certain dose of limited movement but, I-ching has plenty negative hexagrams that suggest "passivity", "blockage" or "stagnation" and yet, she got Duration which is generally a positive hexagram and especially when supported by the first one.
Of course, this could be a positive sign for his marriage (or relationship witht he other woman) but I do admit that I'd expect the rading to advise the Querent rather than to describe his private life .- it is the Queret who needs to focus onto something.
So, could it actually be simply saying that he is staying married (to the other woman)?

Any ideas?

Is the question actually about her future with him?

Because if it is then read line 14.1, "no relationship with what is harmful". She needs to avoid this man as he will hurt her again in the future, plus the obstacles seem to be far too many in this case to ever overcome.

Then on to line 14.6 which says that she needs to rise above the situation, let go of the temptation to get involved with him ever again. The truth will set her free.

aglaya

The first line actually does show caution, and lots of it. It says there are many difficulties to be overcome. (And I don't take that to mean she can overcome them.) The thing that needs to be overcome is blame. "and thus in principle overcome all cause for blame.) She is not overcoming the situation, she is overcoming the danger by recognizing the signs of the times. By recognizing the futility of the situation, one "puts oneself under the beneficial influence of heaven, and all goes well." Hexagram 32 is likely to mean that things stay the way they are with no hope of change. I would not encourage this union.

Gene

Thank you both for your answers, the whole situation now makes a lot more sense.
And, yes, willowfox, it was the two of them (The Querent and the Quesited) that she was thinking of. I appreciate your inputs.

Should I take it that, though the situation (in regards to this relationship) does not look promising- that the changing line 6 of the first hexagram shows that she has the strength to overcome the difficulties (i.e. safely remove herself from this situation and move on)?

trying to be cautious since she had turned him once

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My, oh, my- turned him DOWN one was what I meant to say!

The relationship certainly doesn't look good for the future and as line 14.6 advises that happiness will not be found in this earthly affair, so move on and don't look back.

aglaya said:

My, oh, my- turned him DOWN one was what I meant to say!

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Down one?

You will find that a h14 relationship is not one of passionate attachment.

It usually signifies an affectionate tie, but one in which there can be no pride or ego. This is better if the people are more mature, because too much emotional fire and involvement is not appropriate here. The fire trigram above signifies enlightened thought or clarity, not love as a passion.

Since the Querent made no mistakes, and since she is determined to walk on Heaven's Highway -- that is, correcting herself as she goes -- she has nothing to blame herself for.

What will happen with this relationship in the future? Quite frequently, it seems to me, if both line one and line six are moving in the primary hexagram, then the matter under discussion begins and is over very quickly. That seems to correspond with what the Querant herself told you. Unfortunately, our emotions can hold on and on, making it hard for us to let go . . .

willowfox said:

Down one?

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Turned down ONCE


Thank you all, again! Your inputs are really very helpful.

It usually signifies an affectionate tie, but one in which there can be no pride or ego. This is better if the people are more mature, because too much emotional fire and involvement is not appropriate here. The fire trigram above signifies enlightened thought or clarity, not love as a passion.

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ginnie, I find this explanation very interesting and I believe the Querent will too.
It actually describes that paradoxical quality of the bonds that have kept them "together" all this time on both external and internal level.
A man attached to a woman and, at the same time, unable to break the bonds with another lovely young woman (the Querent), might look like a typical example of a man who thinks that family obligations (though, he was single when he first met her, but regardless, the things have changed) and commitment do not necessarily exclude casual flings or even relationships i.e. a man who takes care of his home but has no intention in being faithful. Also, she says that their relationship was full of passion and that the physical attraction is more than strong.

But, at the same time, they have never truly consumed their relationship as a couple- after many ons and offs, ups and downs, she has had to say goodbye to someone whom she had never really been with. Yet, she says that it was one of the most intense relationships in her life and, though she is very much heart broken (and has been for quite a deal of time), she is actually very humble and grateful for his presence in her life. She says that it was with him that she first experienced telepathic communication which is still present, that she refuses to accept that it was all just fun for him and that she believes that they will stay connected in a very special way.
Like you say, it doesn't really make the things any less traumatic because she would have obviously wanted to be his "woman" and to look forwards to spending life with him like the other woman but, in a way, she has apparently reached the point where she can at least recognise the more subtle values of what they share or have shared.
Again, she is heart broken but at least has the ability to be grateful for something that most people would probably put in the second plane. Maybe it's a longer and harder way too because, for what it's worth, it is often easier to simply say "What a bastard,good thing I did not end up with him!" whilst, here, we have a woman who still deeply cares for this man and is actually sure that he would have been a good match for her but who now has to say goodbye. It is actually a very brave move.

Unfortunately, our emotions can hold on and on, making it hard for us to let go . . .

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I understand what you're saying about the first and last changing lines, thank you for sharing your experience. And yes, it has been a long journey on a very bumpy road but, the truth is, the question was asked long time after is all started and so it is obviously descriptive of the immediate circumstances.
I may have to add that, before phoning her, I decided to cast an astrological chart for the moment of her question too (it is a basically a horary chart) and apparently, the promise in case she pursues this situation, could be devastating. The last aspect the Moon will make is a square with Saturn and, basically, in terms of a general promise, it could not be any worse than that. But, even more importantly, he will most likely try to keep her "around"- she will simply have to try to see him as little as possible. Hopefully, something or someone will soon detract her attention from him.

Thank you a lot!

aglaya said:

they have never truly consumed their relationship as a couple- Yet, she says that it was one of the most intense relationships in her life and, though she is very much heart broken (and has been for quite a deal of time), she is actually very humble and grateful for his presence in her life. She says that it was with him that she first experienced telepathic communication which is still present

But, even more importantly, he will most likely try to keep her "around"- she will simply have to try to see him as little as possible. Hopefully, something or someone will soon detract her attention from him.

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You're welcome Aglaya!

She might be careful to think of him in a specific context only -- maybe a particular spiritual, cultural, or artistic context -- and avoid all thoughts that she is 'his woman' or 'the woman he should have chosen to bear his child.'

I think a h14 relationship of this kind is perplexing when the people are young and attractive. When the usual physical (or biological) demands and preoccupations enter into it too strongly, the tender affinity can be shattered and almost destroyed.

Maybe when they are both in their 60s, 70s and 80s, maybe they will laugh at all this fuss and still be going strong with that special wisdom they already share.

In other words, time will sort it all out . . .

ginnie said:

You're welcome Aglaya!

She might be careful to think of him in a specific context only -- maybe a particular spiritual, cultural, or artistic context -- and avoid all thoughts that she is 'his woman' or 'the woman he should have chosen to bear his child.'

I think a h14 relationship of this kind is perplexing when the people are young and attractive. When the usual physical (or biological) demands and preoccupations enter into it too strongly, the tender affinity can be shattered and almost destroyed.

Maybe when they are both in their 60s, 70s and 80s, maybe they will laugh at all this fuss and still be going strong with that special wisdom they already share.

In other words, time will sort it all out . . .

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Ginnie, this is fascinating stuff! I realize this thread is as old as the hills, but I know you're still active on Clarity. If you see this--might you rightly recollect where you received this interpretation (i.e. which translation)? Or, did this information come from personal experience? Thank you, Iris