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what can I do...? got 54.1.2>16

tsjournal

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Few months ago a relationship with someone I was very excited about failed (either due to long distance or lack of interest or who knows what). Asked Yi 'What can I do to attract a good partner into my life?' In reply, I got 54.1.2. My interpretation of 54.1 is either that I need to lower my expectations or it simply out of my control I just need to keep on going and be open-minded. However, I can't quiet make out 54.2 which speaks of loyalty. I would greatly appreciate your help in this interpretation!
 

Trojina

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Few months ago a relationship with someone I was very excited about failed (either due to long distance or lack of interest or who knows what). Asked Yi 'What can I do to attract a good partner into my life?' In reply, I got 54.1.2. My interpretation of 54.1 is either that I need to lower my expectations or it simply out of my control I just need to keep on going and be open-minded. However, I can't quiet make out 54.2 which speaks of loyalty. I would greatly appreciate your help in this interpretation!

I think your answer says its right that you are alone now...at least thats how i see 54.2.

You asked how to attract a good partner and i think it answered to the effect 'right now its okay, part of your path to be alone' which doesn't mean you always will be of course.

54.1 does ask a compromise but 54.2 remains loyal to the ideal of real feeling, real connection and sometimes remaining true to this ideal actually means going on alone for a while rather than settling for second best.

However i don't know your situation. 54.2 can I think often indicate someone has hurt you, let you down and yet in your heart you remain loyal to them or you keep what was precious, that they so easily discarded and you carry it with you like a widow who hasn't let love die even though the partner is gone. I think it may be possible this answer is referring to whats happened previously in your love life, if you are still somewhat attached to a previous partner. If so it can take a while before you are ready for new one. Thats how i see 54.2. Even if its not a partner perhaps your feelings have been wounded in some way and you need some time for yourself


Talking of being 'ready', 16, your relating hexagram is i think very much about making ready, looking forward, preparing. So i think you do have this wish to move forward now but perhaps you can't go quite at the pace you'd like because some feelings are/have been a bit trampled upon. For the moment then perhaps Yi is saying just go along quietly, remain true to your visions of love and be patient with yourself. 'You can't hurry love' as the song goes


Oh you did say about a previous relationship...I didn't see that at first, hmm yes maybe thats still hurting a bit, and you are actually in your heart still loyal to that. Is is definately over ? Sounds like it, but you can't so easy switch off what you felt for that person. I have the sense that the question you ask here is actually quite bound up with what you've just been through, i feel the Yi is addressing that.


Some people think the Yi always answers the exact question you put but I'm not one of them. I think its gone beneath your question here, to where you are emotionally now...and of course that relates to where you have been. In attracting a partner your current emotional vibration will play a huge part. I think its often the case people think they want someone right now but emotionally, on another level, they really don't so they may be transmitting a subtle message (that they are emotionally 'taken') that seems to oppose their stated conscious desire
 
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Trojina

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its interesting to note you ask 'what can i do to attract a good partner'. Seems to me its not a question of doing here but a question of feelings, being ready or not ready.

we are all brainwashed to think doing is so much more important than being or feeling. People still think if only they do the right thing they will get a good relationship and yet relating has nothing much to do with doing if you think about it.

just rambling and thinking aloud there.....
 

tsjournal

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Thank you Trojan...as a complete freshmen in interpretaing Yi I was about to do a stupid thing and stay loyal to someone who broke up with me...I believe you are right in this case Yi went beneath my question and was describing my current emotional state rather than giving an advice. However, it could be both actually - a description of where I am regarding my previous partner (I am still very much emotionally attached) as well as an advice that you nicely summarized into the following "For the moment then perhaps Yi is saying just go along quietly, remain true to your visions of love and be patient with yourself. 'You can't hurry love' as the song goes". Thank you for your ramblings and thinking out load!
As far as "doing" in my question - I was coming from a place of looking back at my dating history and wanting to claim the responsibility of attracting 'wrong' partners and addressing what it is I could do to attract a 'good' one who won't actually cause pain. I agree with you - feeling and relating are important. However, I came to a conclusion there must be a balance between acting on your feelings about someone and making a concsious choice of sharing yourself with that person based on common sense. Like in my last failed relationship I knew the person was in my town only for a short term but I went with what felt good and natural while hoping for the best. Now, sadly, I find myself heartbroken and throwing coins. The worst part he was the only person who approached me and I felt excited about in a very very long time - and not wanting to wait this long again is what lead me to ask my question since I previously read that we are supposed to ask action questions.

In the meantime, I am going to follow Yi advice and give it time.
Thank you once again Trojan!
 

gato

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was describing my current emotional state rather than giving an advice.

you have not one but few advices in your reading . first is enthusiasm so raise your energy levels and start acting ( A lame man who is able to tread ) ... you will not get any results anytime soon but that's the way to go ( A one-eyed man who is able to see.
The perseverance of a solitary man furthers. )
 

willow

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tsjournal can I challenge you with a question?

Why be more attached to the failure of that relationship than how you grew from it? Sounds like it was a "what the hell, let's give this a shot" risk in the first place, odds not good, and it didn't last. But you went and lived in that possibility for a while, made it your own. Surely you grew in bravery and experience. Surely you drew on your enthusiasm.

So now I think it's suggesting that what you do is continue finding the life, the enthusiasm in where you are now. You continue to grow your own life. Be loyal to yourself. Don't lose what you have (yourself) while you are looking too hard. That's not to say don't look. But be your own first lover and partner, and you'll see the "hunt" with different eyes.
 

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