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12.5 and Moving On

raceecho

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Hey there everyone.

Im currently in a situation that I feel is hopeless. You see there was someone I was incredibly attracted to. Shes said in the past that she has feelings for me but the lack of communication in the past month is a little more than disheartening. Recently she called me randomly to give her a ride home from work. She gets off at 2-3 am so it wasn't exactly the evening. Nonetheless I went, and it was apparent that it was mutually good to see each other. She said she missed me, all that jazz, and of course I said ditto.

However like I said, I'm starting to lose faith in this ever going anywhere. Just trying to be logical. I asked what the best course of action would be to promote mutual happiness and got 31.1.6, but I am always making the effort, most of the time in vain.

So I asked how what was the best action I could take to make myself feel better about all this. How to move on from it basically. I got 12.5, which has left me somewhat puzzled. Im no expert at interpreting this lines by any means, but a couple things about this line strike me.

There are many interpretations for the first part. "What if it Failed?" "Ones Extinction" "We May Perish!". It says to fasten that to mulberry shoots, which I am assuming means some kind of structure this can grow on?

Any insight would be helpful, I am pretty lost at this point lol. Cheers.
 

raceecho

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If it means anything, she did call me again tonight. She thought I was mad at her I guess for a text I failed to respond to, but I digress. She told me she missed me again, and we talked on and off for about 3 hours. It is strange as when I just feel that I'm diluting myself that she still lets me know she cares. Does this hexagram have any reflection of "weathering the storm" so to speak?
 

Trojina

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From what you say about her behavior in your first post she sounds like someone who is just picking you up as and when she feels like it. No depth of feeling or intent..or even much consideration. 31.1.6>13 seems to support that impression. I have my pet theory about lines 1 and 6 moving together to often indicate an episodic occurence...a story unto itself, not one that goes anywhere new. The 13 as relating may indicate shes part of your wider circle, your group. 31.1 generally indicates the very beginnings of attractions, just a hint of a feeling nothing that substantial, which is what she told you and 31.6 can be rather empty and again seems to sum up her behaviour. She keeps you hanging on there by saying shes missing you etc etc but it sounds somewhat like 'empty talk'. Then she calls you 'randomly to get a lift from work ' ? Mmm having any faith in her doesn't seem like a good idea to me and i feel the reading supports that.

FWIW its worth I think it typical of this kind of pattern shes displaying that as soon as she perceived you were ignoring her, letting go of your attachment, she ups the level of contact as you describe in your second post. If I'm right about this particular pattern once she feels shes got you 'hooked' again she'll go back to the same whimsical on/off style of relating thats so unsatisfactory for you. She probably means no harm shes just pleasing herself but you have to ask yourself is this what you really want ? Doesn't sound like it.

Hmm but then Yi throws you 12.5 which generally, traditionally, is advice to hang on in there, double your efforts to get the show on the road..so that contradicts the first reading somewhat. Personally I never saw much evidence to support that interpretation of 12.5, perhaps i misunderstood it. I just checked Hilarys commentary on it in her book and she seems to go more along the lines of accepting theres not much you can do, taking a bit of a rest so you can 'regain a sense of possibilities in life'...along the lines of you have to cut things back so new things can grow.

But for me when you say "its strange as just when i feel i am diluting myself she lets me know she cares". Thats not strange at all its a typical pattern for someone who wants to keep you hanging on.


If we take Hilarys view of 12.5 I think its more about taking a break from this. From all you've said I'm wondering if she is just wasting your time.

Perhaps you should just see how it goes. If shes now shows interest watch to see if she loses interest once she knows you are hooked on her again ! If her interest continues thats good but personally I can see why you would be wary of this connection.

Maybe you could do far better elsewhere, maybe thats what 12.5 advises. Cut back the dead wood (your connection to her) and flourish elsewhere ?
 

raceecho

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In a sense when you say "when she feels like it", it's at least half accurate. I don't think it's so much that she necessarily does that on purpose, I think her schedule just barely allows her the time. She's taking a bunch of advanced courses atm and studying at Loyola soon. Education is super important to her which I totally support because I think it's good to have goals. Plus she's still coming out of a 3 and a half year relationship and I can understand why she wouldn't want anything serious right away. I don't even know if I want something that serious.

It would sound then that it was more of just a lustful attraction, however I can assure you it's not. There is definately some sort of connection on a higher level than that. That lift from work and all, I did it cause I know she'd do the same if I asked, even though she knows I wouldn't. She knows more about me personally than most of any of my close friends even do. We make each other happy, but I don't know if its a situation that can be built on.

In my heart, I truly believe that either way she'll be an important chapter in my life. It just feels right. Maybe I should just let it play out?
 

Trojina

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Hey there everyone.

Im currently in a situation that I feel is hopeless. You see there was someone I was incredibly attracted to. Shes said in the past that she has feelings for me but the lack of communication in the past month is a little more than disheartening. Recently she called me randomly to give her a ride home from work. She gets off at 2-3 am so it wasn't exactly the evening. Nonetheless I went, and it was apparent that it was mutually good to see each other. She said she missed me, all that jazz, and of course I said ditto.

However like I said, I'm starting to lose faith in this ever going anywhere. Just trying to be logical. I asked what the best course of action would be to promote mutual happiness and got 31.1.6, but I am always making the effort, most of the time in vain.

So I asked how what was the best action I could take to make myself feel better about all this. How to move on from it basically. I got 12.5, which has left me somewhat puzzled. Im no expert at interpreting this lines by any means, but a couple things about this line strike me.

There are many interpretations for the first part. "What if it Failed?" "Ones Extinction" "We May Perish!". It says to fasten that to mulberry shoots, which I am assuming means some kind of structure this can grow on?

Any insight would be helpful, I am pretty lost at this point lol. Cheers.

In a sense when you say "when she feels like it", it's at least half accurate. I don't think it's so much that she necessarily does that on purpose, I think her schedule just barely allows her the time. She's taking a bunch of advanced courses atm and studying at Loyola soon. Education is super important to her which I totally support because I think it's good to have goals. Plus she's still coming out of a 3 and a half year relationship and I can understand why she wouldn't want anything serious right away. I don't even know if I want something that serious.

It would sound then that it was more of just a lustful attraction, however I can assure you it's not. There is definately some sort of connection on a higher level than that. That lift from work and all, I did it cause I know she'd do the same if I asked, even though she knows I wouldn't. She knows more about me personally than most of any of my close friends even do. We make each other happy, but I don't know if its a situation that can be built on.

In my heart, I truly believe that either way she'll be an important chapter in my life. It just feels right. Maybe I should just let it play out?

Consider the difference in your first post to this last one. In the first post you tell how you perceive it as 'hopeless' etc etc then seem to spend the last post defending yourself against my interpretation in which of course I took your first point of view into account :confused: If you want to let it play out then thats what you should do...theres nothing predetermined here. No point cutting it off if you still feel theres somewhere to go with it

If you compare your first and last post you seem to have answered your own question

post 1. 'I'm currently in a situation that i feel is hopeless'
post 2. 'i truly believe she'll be an important chapter in my life'
 
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raceecho

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I wasn't necessarily trying to defend the reading or give reasons why it would be a wrong conclusion, I just felt like I should give a little bit more background on the situation so you can have a better understanding. It does feel hopeless, don't get me wrong. The reason I say it will be an important part of my life is just simply because of the connection.

I've never been one for love or anything like that, had some bad experiences when I was younger and it kind of turned me off of the idea of relationships from an early point. Alas though I felt a breakthrough here. I don't want to over indulge on how profound it really impacts me, but in short I could just was well say "it just feels right." People that make you feel that way only come around once in a long great while, maybe a couple times in a lifetime.

Its just one of those situations where the mind says no but the heart says yes. I don't know if I'll feel this way about anyone as I don't usually build connections like this with people. Even if I did meet someone else, I know myself and that I wouldn't let myself start feeling any attachment as I've done here. I keep my circle small if that makes any sense.

It's more I don't want to shut out a good thing because it's going through a rough patch. She's not one to be immature and just string me along. She knows for the most part how deep my feelings are. I doubt very highly she would take advantage of that, it's not in her character at all.

The reason I even started questioning all this was because of the lack of communication I was talking about earlier. But even before that, she'd told me that it would be the last time I'd see her for a while cause her plate would be full, and maybe I just hadn't anticipated such little contact, therefore giving way to the doubt I'm having now.

Its just all around confusing, cause if she didn't care she certaintly wouldn't have wasted 3 hours on the phone with me. I think really it's just my need of companionship at this point is what my real problem is. Sometimes I think we just expect a little too much from the wounded. You know?
 

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