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35 unchanging - too good to be true

scorpioontherun

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Dear all,
after a painful divorce I'm now in a "relationship" with a guy I really like and respect but that is "dragging back his weels" which sincerely suits me ... I'm not really fit to form a supercommitted relationship, not that I see or want to see somebody else, I love the guy sincerely. This said sometimes I would like for him to tell me that I'm also important to him instead of telling me 'I'm not ready" "My divorce (his) was really painful and I have to center myself before committing". Which mind you is the truth and I appreciate very much his truthfullness. This said he really and truly cares very much for me and he shows it when we are together, he supports me and he's always there for me when I need him. . Well this for general background.
Now the question background. Yesterday I had lunch with a dear colleague of mine who also knows his ex-wife (but has no clue what is going on between me and him and thinks we are old pals - wich is also true) and during conversation said to me that the ex-wife in question moved on and has a boyfriend for quite some time now. I knew he did not know that. And I knew I found myself in a awful situation. I knew. He did not. I did not feel I should tell him, however I also knew that he felt so responsible for her unhappiness that this could be good news for him (he has been clinically depressed for a while after the separation). Well today I talked to his best friend and she said I should tell him, for his sake. And that's what I did. Telling him also that I was sorry if the news hurted him in some way. Well he replied he was so happy about it, thanking me so much for having had the guts to tell him and that he did not understand why on earth I could have thought the news would hurt him. Well all his well that ends well. But then since I'm just a woman in love after all I thought .. and if this was the thing that was holding him back? What if? (please belive me it is not a thought I had before .. I know it sound strange but before this we have been friends for 15 years, I still have friends behaviour with him ... regardless). So know the question

How my romantic relationship with X will evolve now that he knows that Y has a stable boyfriend?

35 UNCHANGING

Bloody hell.
Positive: I made him the gift of the truth ... I will be awarded horses .. so a positive evolution of the romantic relationship "Light comes forth over the earth: Advancing"
Negative: that's what I hope it will happen ... bummer

Any help please?
PS Sorry for the long post but I thought more background the better.
 

tiziano

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35 also means great responsibility and visibility.
Kanghou Feng (the marquis of Kang) was given so many horses when he was given the government of rebel Shang barons.
It was a strategic move. The Shang had just been defeated by the Zhou and Feng was a Zhou. But he was also the son of a Shang princess, because of the mixed marriage between his father Wen and the daughter(s) of Di Yi. He was able to use this fact to make the barons accept his government, bringing peace to the region.
That was a difficult task and he was very exposed. But he was a cadet son of Wen and this was a great opportunity for him to gain a good reputation.
I think you can match many symbolic elements from this story to your own one.
I also think that your relationship is about to become more "public".
 

gene

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One thing we should be aware of too with thirty five is that it is not an overnight thing. Just as the sun slowly rises in the sky, so too do our fortunes slowly rise. It is best not to move to fast, but maintain normality and let things occur as they should.

Gene
 

scorpioontherun

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Grazie Tiziano il parallelismo è evidente. ... (for non italians ... thanks it is easy to see the common points with the story you told) ...

gene: thank you. Luckly I'm not in any hurry it just feels good.

Today I asked more insight on 35 unchanging on this question and I got

45 UNCHANGING

what's with all this unchanging, I find them so hard to understand. But again Gathering ..
 

susannah

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I suspect you are now re-married to your lover. Please confirm :bows:
 

Trojina

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I suspect you are now re-married to your lover. Please confirm :bows:

Looking at the profile scorpioontherun hasn't been here since March 2012, just over 7 years ago so I am not sure if you will get a confirmation.

The question is almost 9 years old.
 
F

fatima1977

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Oh... I get here searching for information about non changing 35 yo my question how i can be happy again? Any lights?
 

Trojina

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Start a new thread. It causes confusion to add to 9 year old ones like this.
 

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