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Thread: Blog post: Advice for relationship readings

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by cristal View Post
    What I meant with "using the reading for communicating with him" , it was that reading the Iching and making questions it helps me to find answers about my situation with him. And yes, somehow when we ask a question that regards two people by sure the reading must include an interpretation of the thoughts of the other person. Because by example if I ask what would be the consequences of maybe calling him and asking to meet me? Any answer of the IChing must be considering what he is thinking, what is in his heart, otherwise in what its the answer based?We are two included in the reading, every time I read. ...

    But mainly what I meant was that reading and interpreting ease my wait and help me to learn about myself. And then I learn about him also because I have to think in everything what have happened between us and I then can see him more clearly.
    I think I know what you mean here. The way I see it for myself, especially with personal relationships, is having a chance to understand my own thoughts on the issue, and sometimes even make my mistakes "on paper" so to speak, before or in lieu of making them with the person.

    I've commented about the relationship questions here before mainly because I think a lot of posters aren't taking the time to consider the answer(s) they've received first before posting here, and sometimes simply casting multiple readings on essentially the same question. (Which I do too, at times, but in the privacy of my own personal hell )

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by jfas View Post
    I think I know what you mean here. The way I see it for myself, especially with personal relationships, is having a chance to understand my own thoughts on the issue, and sometimes even make my mistakes "on paper" so to speak, before or in lieu of making them with the person.

    Yes, you expressed right what it is for me, I've problems expressing myself correctly because I write quite bit and English its not my native language. But Yes, when we are confronting with any kind of pain or challenge, from money to relationships, to death, sickness, our thoughts aren't so clear like normal and then I think it is instinctive to try to get clear. We can get clear with aloneness, but also expressing our thoughts it is an incredible thought to understand it. It gives undoubtly self -awareness and yes, then help because before the step it is always good to be self aware of what you are really intended to do.

    I've commented about the relationship questions here before mainly because I think a lot of posters aren't taking the time to consider the answer(s) they've received first before posting here, and sometimes simply casting multiple readings on essentially the same question. (Which I do too, at times, but in the privacy of my own personal hell )

    I think the main problem, is being clouded and then because ofthat, wanting to ask many times, but even bigger problem is to dont be clear about what its the real question we want to ask.
    I am a bohemia and and love my aloneness, thenI tend to never ever ask anybody, about my personal problems. But doing it, I found out that not only gave me a bigger understanding of what the Iching can do for me, when and how to ask, how I influence the answer with my own mind and how I misunderstand or get blinded to the interpretation if my mind is clouded, but also the understanding of how important it is to openly express what is happening emotionally to you, it makes the healing process faster.
    The healing process is just self awareness, we become so much in touch with what we are feeling that we are able then to take steps to change it because at least we are masoquists we dont want to stay there.
    I still cant see the why not to express it here, at least it is forbidden, because the reason ( I think) we read the Iching, it is because we are experiencing something, we are unable to solve with our own means, we want a guide. And we can get a guide and wake up the little light inside only searching for it.

    It is very hard to properly interpret our own readings when we are cloudy, because (I think) we want to find out what we want or we fear to find something and then just find out our own fear that does not need to correspond to reality and probably that confusion push the person to ask more, because if the person would be clear would not be asking neither once, I think.

    And even if the person would have the means to ask for a professional reading , the moment the person is clouded, it would be hard to understand even the professional reading I think.

    Then I am for writing everything all time we need it, at least it is forbidden, I guess it does not work for everybody same, but because we are all different. For me it is a personal discovery that took me from my normal working my challenges in aloneness to exposing it here, it worked nicely, I am still there, but not in the middle of a thunder/hurrican like a week ago, but instead more clear about everything and asking about different things, or more clear questions.
    However I am still not clear about what are the right questions, and need to investigate more about it

  3. #23
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    Just catching up on posts on this thread after a few days of running in panicked circles about the site transfer. Cristal - thank you for your thoughtful posts. As far as I can see, the only 'right question' is going to be the one you are truly asking - even if it takes a bit of digging in your own psyche to find out what that question is.

  4. #24
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    Default great blog post!

    This is a great blog post! The topic is so relevant!

    My own take on this topic is that in interpreting answers, regardless of the topic of the question, the biggest challenge is avoiding subjective bias to interpret the Yi as saying what one hopes or expects, regardless of what comes up.

    But in the case of relationships, that problem is magnified severalfold, while, as Hilary pointed out, relationship questions tend to be the first types of questions people ask. I think this is a catch-22 leading to wrong answers and stunted development in interpretation skills. To use Yi terminology: "Pitfall." This may be the reason why so many people out there just give up and decide that divination with the Yi cannot be taken seriously.

    In the realm of relationships, whether people consult the Yi or not, they often jump to false conclusions based on wishful thinking, fueled by the power of fantasy. This cuts equally across genders.

    Further, in the realm of romantic feelings, phenomena such as what the other person is feeling are far less tangible and measurable than phenomena such as the weather. We can see the rain and measure the temperature, but people often are confused about even their own feelings, on top of trying to discern the feelings of others, and all of those things are invisible and hard to measure. Then add to that the psychological games people play in dating and relationships, and it becomes even more difficult.

    Ideally, divination should help to cut through this natural elusiveness and confusion, and the biased viewpoints derived from the influence of strong attraction and potent fantasies, by bypassing the conscious biases when deriving the answer. However, it only works well if the person has the mental discipline to engage in detached objectivity when interpreting the answers... as if they were observing and interpreting the results of a scientific experiment.

    In addition to the important point that Hilary made that divination should never be used as a substitute for communicating with the partner in the relationship, I think people should also avoid using it to substitute for consulting with friends. Sometimes a friend can come through with the most valuable insight that really makes all the difference. Friends often have a natural objectivity, and also bring their own separate set of experiences and wisdom to bear on the topic, which help the questioner see the situation from more angles and gain a fuller perspective, without the trouble of translating the input from ancient symbols and other cryptic aspects of divination.

    As an added bonus, friends serve as a great buffer against loneliness and depression if things don't go the way one wishes with the object of affection, and through a good network of friends, one can meet more people and have more new prospects in the pipeline or in the funnel. Sometimes people get too obsessed with one prospect to the exclusion of all others, and that isn't healthy.

    Spending hours in solitude on Yi divinations about a relationship while the object of affection is out socializing and meeting new people may not be a good idea. It's not that different from spending hours internet-stalking someone. A relationship in which one person is investing a lot more time and thought than the other is often destined to fail, or to be unhealthy and dysfunctional, regardless of how accurate one's Yi interpretations are.

    In addition, socializing and communicating helps build the inner sensibilities of discernment such that one will have less confusion and less need to consult others or the Yi to understand situations. One will begin to understand situations more instinctively and have less need for consultations.

    Finally, even interpretation of the Yi's answers to relationship questions should become better tuned when one is armed with greater depth of wisdom, knowledge and social experience. One has to have some level of depth and experience and complex knowledge to recognize and grasp depth and complexity when it is presented to them. Sometimes I find the Yi's answers seem simple on the surface but actually have multiple layers of depth and complexity, leading to a different conclusion than that which would be derived from a superficial or simplistic interpretation.

    As for me, I'm...
    Gettin Jingy with it
    Last edited by gettinjingywithit; May 5th, 2011 at 08:54 AM.

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  6. #25
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    That's a good point about talking to friends. Friends aren't a great substitute for an oracle, but the reverse is certainly true as well.

  7. #26
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    Relationship questions are as important as other issues that we need help about. The Yi and its wisdom bless us by taking some of our doubts out. If it is the right person with 'de"I also agree that it is very emotionally rewarding to have someone to talk to.We miss the warm human touch that we feel when somebody holds our hands and talks with us looking in our eyes.
    There are so many things to learn in a lifetime! I´m glad God gives us time to do it bit by bit.
    Thanks for opportunities like this space granted to communicate with other members of our community we grow.
    Dilson from Brazil

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  9. #27
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    Default Casting the Hexagram personally

    Hilary...thank you for this helpful post as i just asked a question now. But, i am still really unsure of how to use the coins - I went to my Chinese local market and actually bought 3 coins to use and even went on UTUBE to see how they are read. I am still unsure.

    I always use your digital site and cast the question from there. i was told that these are not valid always. Computer generated questions are not good as they are not getting the actual "feeling" of the person asking the question.

    but in all my past readings, and my castings, i have read and re-read. they are always, of course about my relationships, but ironically, they have all come to fruition.

    i just casted one just now and it makes some sense to me, still, not sure, i am waiting for the others on the site to clarify with me the meaning.

    i try to look up the answers on various sites online..i want clarity. i think the latest answer (Hex 30) is giving me or HIM the result.

    i want to cast another one, using my coins, its just confusing.

    Amy Luisa

  10. #28
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    I think you missed the point. In general people weren't suggesting you try to cast with coins because the online tool was ineffective but because having no concept of what changing lines were greatly obstructed your own understanding and often you were not even sure what answer you had got as you only saw changing lines as 'red' lines.

    Lots of people I think suggested you learn what was meant by changing lines then at least you'd have some idea of how a primary hexagram morphed to the second one and what that meant so you'd begin to have some power to get an understanding of your reading.

    We have linked to the Learn section here on how to cast coins loads of times Amy but I will find and link again

    but if it still makes no sense maybe the only way to do it is to get together in person with a friend and see if they can help ?

  11. #29
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    heres the link again scroll down to "the 3 coin method" http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/learn...lt/casting.php

    I'm not sure if English is your first language ? If not it will be harder to understand then maybe someone could direct you to instructions on casting in your own language.

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  13. #30
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    Smile Amore Trojan

    gracias senora!

    but i was also wanting to express my thoughts on this blog. I hope I did not offend you.

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