Hurrah, we have found a nice flat to live in -- BOOOO the neighbours are the pits.

We finally got moved in this week, grateful to have a decent place to live at a halfway affordable price. My daughter's health is slowly improving [for those who are aware that she has moved home for now and has been very ill]. We aren't fully unpacked yet and still quite tired from the effort of it all. And last night, we found out what the neighbours are like.

It's a small town and we've lived in large cities that are more civilised and quiet at night. The situation with carousing drunks is unbelievable and you wouldn't guess in the daytime what goes on.

Across the alleyway from us is a group of flats above a posh clothing store that covers a "block" more or less. All night long -- until about 4 am., men were spilling out into the rain, wrestling and grabbing each other, laughing, pushing, screaming, and a few "showering" under the pour off from the roof three stories up.

By two am., my daughter was just distraught, having tried to sleep from 10 onwards. I finally called police and, as they arrived, everything went quiet, so they left. Within minutes, the noise was back, worse than ever and I called police again -- same result. We went through this three times and Thank God the police didn't think I was just hallucinating. Finally, they heard the racket and rapped on the door until the occupants appeared. They were cautioned and a lot of people left. After the police had gone, it started up again and we called police again. After which it finally calmed.

We are exhausted today, but with all the traffic noise on a Saturday morning, I won't be sleeping anymore. I'm trying to just stay calm and think what to do because we need a place to live and, frankly, I want to be friends with my neighbours if I can. But this is intolerable as it sits.

I've asked the Yi "What should I do in this situation?"

The answer: Hexagram 43.1.2.3 becoming Hexagram 45.

"Asserting your identity and right to be heard, even in the king's chambers" is the opening advise. From this I imagine that it is important to speak up in a dignified way that says this just isn't on.


"Declaring the truth loud and clear is dangerous; it stirs up old ghosts, inner and outer. Yet better this than ignoring and neglecting them."

The old ghosts this stirs up for me is the drunken behaviour, something I abhor having seen my husband die of it. And I see this as an old "enemy" of peace and sanity and I'm frankly sick of a world in which it is rife. The UK is the worst for this I've ever witnessed having lived many places by now including major US cities and a Spanish seaside resort. It's almost a "badge of honour" to be a drunk in the town centre of the UK and to a stage where many decent people have nearly given up.

What I saw last night wasn't violent anyway -- as it was when we lived in Edinburgh and saw people left to die have been kicked senseless or beaten with a chain -- something which in the City of Edinburgh isn't even reported in the newspaper, just considered a way of life. The police don't even bother to come, or having been called show up hours later. Here it is just disgracefully rude and not possible to live with every weekend.

I'm not interested in becoming the centre of a town campaign. I just want some peace and a reasonable way of life where people behave in a considerate way. What does anybody else see here in the Yi's advice?

I think 45 shows there are others in the neighbour who would agree with you about these neighbours.

my sister is going through the same situation at the moment, the noise form her neighbours shakes her daughters bedroom window at night. Its so opressive.

I think 43 is quite literal in its advice and there is a sense of needing to not succumb to powerlessness and apathy which this kind of situation can suck you into. Having to speak up for yourself (and possibly others/or with others, 45) will surely get the heart pumping for anyone and its easier to just 'live' with a bad situation.

but with 43, and my experience with noisy neighbours, you have to speak your mind to the right person...often this isnt the people offending as generally they see themselves as infallible and are not likely to stop their shenanigans just cause you told them to, no matter how tactful and polite you are.

I also think 43 has a sense of taking it step by step, in the right order to the right people, who knows maybe its will end up in a neighbourhood wide petition to the council, but if you think that far ahead and that big you'll probably feel overwhelmed.

Maybe you moved there to be the bringer of postive change and sleep filled nights for those who havent the courage to speak up for themselves.

chingching said:

I think 45 shows there are others in the neighbour who would agree with you about these neighbours.

my sister is going through the same situation at the moment, the noise form her neighbours shakes her daughters bedroom window at night. Its so opressive.

I think 43 is quite literal in its advice and there is a sense of needing to not succumb to powerlessness and apathy which this kind of situation can suck you into. Having to speak up for yourself (and possibly others/or with others, 45) will surely get the heart pumping for anyone and its easier to just 'live' with a bad situation.

but with 43, and my experience with noisy neighbours, you have to speak your mind to the right person...often this isnt the people offending as generally they see themselves as infallible and are not likely to stop their shenanigans just cause you told them to, no matter how tactful and polite you are.

I also think 43 has a sense of taking it step by step, in the right order to the right people, who knows maybe its will end up in a neighbourhood wide petition to the council, but if you think that far ahead and that big you'll probably feel overwhelmed.

Maybe you moved there to be the bringer of postive change and sleep filled nights for those who havent the courage to speak up for themselves.

Click to expand...

This is what I'm hoping -- that the neighbours will care too. It's pitiful to be the squeaky wheel and generally pointless, but if others are just unable to speak up -- well I'm not and I will do it. But support must be there or then I'm the neighbour from hell because they'd just as soon put up with it, or don't care enough to make an effort.

true, 45 assures that there is support. That sort of disturbance can not be pleasant, there will be others out there like you. Probably very emotionally effected too, because its 45.

In situations where I have drawn 45 I have literally felt compelled to meet with people or agree with their views on a deep and intrinsic level. i know also there are lots of online forums on the subject of noisy neighbours and people share how they dealt with the situation, it could be helpful...

chingching said:

true, 45 assures that there is support. That sort of disturbance can not be pleasant, there will be others out there like you. Probably very emotionally effected too, because its 45.

In situations where I have drawn 45 I have literally felt compelled to meet with people or agree with their views on a deep and intrinsic level. i know also there are lots of online forums on the subject of noisy neighbours and people share how they dealt with the situation, it could be helpful...

Click to expand...

This is exactly what I need -- thoughts on how to go about this that will work for the benefit of the community because I feel certain others must have suffered with this for ages now.

Arabella

I think the heart of this reading is #43 line 2. The commentary says, "Therefore he dwells in the midst of difficulty as if they did not exist. If a person develops his or her character, people submit of their own accord." The hexagram itself does not promise you that there is no danger. Therefore discretion is necessary. Yet it must be announced truthfully. But the line says, in spite of arms, (danger), "fear nothing."

Another key here, I think is the commentary in line one which says, "We ought to gauge our own strength and venture only so far as we can go with certainty." It sounds like this might be a tough situation. But if handled correctly can be overcome.

Gene

We had the police out last night again and they put a stop to the noise next door, only for us to discover that a pub up the road -- in the midst of a mainly residential area and businesses otherwise closed at night -- has a license to hold dance-band raves. Last night I consulted police, the council, and environmental noise control authorities and today drafted a letter to the local newspapers. Traffic is one thing, this is untenable. And knowing what the council refuses to allow everywhere else, this just isn't on at all. I'm taking what has been described as "appropriate channels" -- all of them. And I'll let you know how it goes.

I can relate to this dilemma arabella so frustrating when all we want is a nice haven for peace and quiet. xx

go arabella! good on you, sending you supportive thoughts

Is arabella still a member - would love to know what happened here?