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Is he seeing someone else? Hexagram 16.4 changing to 2

pink_panther

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I broke up with my ex a few months ago and he keeps giving me mixed signals but nothing firm. I broke up with him because I felt he was taking me for granted.

A part of me is not sure whether to just leave this as it is and move on or give this relationship another shot. It's been 7 months so I'm a bit weary that he hasn't already met someone else, even though he is still dropping "breadcrumbs" to see if I react. (Again nothing firm like "I want to get back together", but flirting and random "checking" in messages)

I got the following reading: Hexagram 16 changing line 4, transformed to hexagram 2.

I have just started the Iching and am not terribly clear on understanding its meanings. Any help would be greatly appreciated it!

-Pink Panther
 

moss elk

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When You broke up with him, you took all the power.
Now you are expecting him to ask you back out??

You are setting up a scenario where you will have all the power.
A self respecting person would not enter into a relationship with someone who demanded all the power.
Those little things he does show you his feelings and wishes,
In a way where he doesn't lose his dignity.

I think the reading says he is not seeing someone else.
(Because he still wants you)
 

pink_panther

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Thank you very much for your response.

I am not expecting him to ask me back out, but I do want an apology for the maltreatment that lead to the breakup if we do get back together. In the past when we have broken up, he waits months for me to cool off and then swoops back in with no repercussions.

As I'm getting older, I want something more stable and am getting tired of the mind games. The relationship certainly has potential, but I simply don't have the desire to continue engaging with someone that is not 100% serious and still wants to play games. (Mind you this man is 11 years my senior).

Thank you very much for your insight, I really appreciate it. It makes me feel better knowing he isn't trying to toy with me. Perhaps I will extend an olive branch, at least to start with friendship again and see where it goes from there.
 

moss elk

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Thanks for explaining.
Your cautiousness is understandable.
Make sure to have peace talks before signing the treaty.
Make sure to have the treaty signed before opening your arms.

Any other opinions on the reading?
 

mulberry

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It's hard to give an interpretation of a yes/no question through Yi, requires a lot of subtlety and knowledge of the texts both from study and personal experience. I rarely feel confident giving an interpretation of such questions.

However, sticking solely to your question as phrased, and not parsing all the other aspects of the background (his mistreatment of you, his charms)-- I strongly feel this answer is a "yes", that he is seeing someone else, and I'd even wager that he's seeing more than one woman. 16.4 describes "friends gathered round as a hair clasp gathers hair". "He attracts people because he has no doubts and is wholly sincere." This line is about sincerity and attraction. And it changes to 2, the receptive (and the most yin/feminine of all hexagrams). I see a lot of women around him.

So, I would wager that yes he is seeing others right now in a romantic way. This doesn't, however, imply that any of those relationships are serious (sincerity and seriousness are not exactly the same thing! he can just be sincerely interested in having a good time). He sounds like a charmer, like a man who attracts women easily, but it seems he is interested in you more seriously. Even if he is seeing someone else (or multiple someone elses), you should just focus on him and whether you want him back in your life irrespective of what he's doing with his time and body right now. I think if you got back together he'd break those dalliances off. But do you want to get back together, would it be a good move...? That's a completely different question than the one you asked.

And just a reminder-- you did break up with him, he's not cheating (on you). And even if he is seeing others, I doubt those relationships are exclusive (from this reading). I don't think they matter particularly much. The real issues are different. I think maybe you'd best leave this question and try to formulate a more meaningful one with regards to how you are relating to him and the possibility of being involved with him again.

Good luck!
 

pink_panther

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Thank you both very much for the response. I agree, that he is not cheating on me since we are broken up, but before responding to his advances, I want to make sure that he is serious and not just toying with me out of spite or because of his ego, while he is in another relationship.

He has been very flirty and sociable at work, but I feel that he is doing this mostly to try and get me jealous. He seems to get more obnoxious when I am nearby to let me know "he is having fun". Which again, we're broken up, and he is free to do as he pleases. After I broke up with him, I purposely broke off all ties with him because I didn't want to "keep tabs" on who or what he does afterwards. If the relationship is done for, I'm disappointed but I'm ok with it.

I guess what bugs me is the lukewarm messages. I really liked this guy, and am disappointed things ended how they did but I am making an effort to get on with my life and move on. And its difficult to do so when he keeps reaching out with these mixed messages, because clearly I still have feelings for him and do have some hope that he will recognize what a jerk he was being and correct his behavior.

Just last week, at exactly the 7 month point to the day of our breakup he drops off a bag of my favorite chocolates in my mailbox with a message saying " I don't mean anything by this, I just wanted to give this to someone who could appreciate it."

I thanked him for thinking of me and left it at that. I am hesitant to extend an invitation for reconciliation if this is just one big game to him. But perhaps you are right, I should refocus my inquiry to the I-Ching.

You both have given me a lot of food for thought, and for that I am very grateful! Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my post. It is greatly appreciated it!
 
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thisisbliss

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same question, different hexagram: 31.1 changing to 49

Hi All!

I'm new to the forum and would like your insight on this same question but different hexagram.

When I asked I received 31.1 changing to 49. Do you think this is affirmative that he is? And does the revolution mean it could change and stop seeing her? Or is the answer about me - that there is mutual attraction and the revolution could be that our approach this time around will make a better, stronger relationship?

Your help would be great - I'm new to this and wonder if I'm asking the right question. How would the IC know about someone that's not me?
 

Trojina

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Hi All!

I'm new to the forum and would like your insight on this same question but different hexagram.

You need to start your own thread.
 

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