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Thread: 17.3.4.5 to 36 love question

  1. #21

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    Thank you, equinox. I realized that it is not so much that I don't trust *him* -- he has a good heart -- I don't trust that he feels any real romantic spark for me. I worry that he only feels pity and casual friendship and occasional passing physical attraction for me, and then I will be treated accordingly -- not because of his character, but simply because that's the way it is; we can't treat someone at a certain level if we just don't see them as having that intimate role in our lives. But I feel deeply for him. I am going to try to let go and not consult the Yi and do my best to occupy myself with creative things.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by thisworldcompany View Post
    Thank you, equinox. I realized that it is not so much that I don't trust *him* -- he has a good heart -- I don't trust that he feels any real romantic spark for me. I worry that he only feels pity and casual friendship and occasional passing physical attraction for me, and then I will be treated accordingly -- not because of his character, but simply because that's the way it is; we can't treat someone at a certain level if we just don't see them as having that intimate role in our lives. But I feel deeply for him. I am going to try to let go and not consult the Yi and do my best to occupy myself with creative things.
    Your results in my opinion show that there is kind of a significant connection between you, but they don't reveal if this is the 'romantic spark' that you are wishing for. In a way this all reminds me of myself when I was younger and head over heels in love with a guy who wasn't sure about us and behaved the way you describe. Nobody could do this to me anymore, that's the lesson you can learn from such stories and that's a good thing eventually.

    It took me three (!) years to stop loving him and after our weird 'relationship' eneded, we terminated our contact for around one year and after we got back in touch the tide turned completely.
    Now he was the one after me, but in between I was in no longer interested in him romantically, I could not even really understand anymore why I was so eager to be with him back then.

    After he realisized that there was no chance for him to get me back, we still decided to be friends, because we had and still have this strong connection. Until now we are very close friends and I love him, but in another way than before.

    Long story cut short: The horse came back on it's own accord after I stopped chasing it, but ironically I didn't want it anymore then. The strong feeling is still there, but transformed.

    Also I believe that he started to really want me because I grew more confident and had no problem to say 'no' and to put my own needs over his. I think even though he loved me, I was simply boring for him when I was so dependent on him. It seems to be like a law of nature that you need some friction to produce 'sparks' I guess.

    Btw, generally spoken now: someone may have a good heart, okay, but if they are informed about the depth of the feelings of their counterpart and don't share them and still want sex occasionally, then this is an tremendously egoistic act.
    Last edited by equinox; January 19th, 2018 at 09:16 PM.

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    thisworldcompany (February 9th, 2018)

  4. #23

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    equinox, what you're saying about friction and sparks makes a lot of sense. And I'm very worried about the possibility that the whole thing was an egoistic act like what you mention at the end of your post.

    Things are still very confusing. I came back to the Yi and asked two questions -- What does he need from me? and How should I approach him?

    For the first, I received 19.1 to 7, and at first for the second, I initially received 2.1 to 24, but I was so confused by the different ways I could read this one that I asked for a clarification to help me and received 53.5 to 52.

    I wonder if the 19.1 is matching up with the earlier talk in this thread about him being immature, and maybe with my dream about him needing me to drive the car. The other two, I'm not sure if they're just telling me to wait for things to develop with him or if they're telling me to wait for something else... obviously I'm more inclined to hope for the former.

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