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43.3

kash

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I've had this line a couple of times recently for two different situations. Having searched both the forums and the Wiki for possible meanings and found quite a few conflicting opinions, I thought people in a similar position may find it useful to know how things worked out with these.

Both situations involved a conflict with another person (the inferior person mentioned in Wilhelm's commentary?) and felt that I was very much in the right. I had a choice of going head to head with the person and blowing up the issue into a fight ("powerful in the cheekbones"?) or...well, this is where I got confused because the whole "walking alone in the rain" thing didn't seem to make any sense. Then I realised that in both cases it meant basically to humour the other person, even though they were blatantly wrong. Not to charge in guns blazing, but to keep hold of my objective yet let things play out. In both cases there were "people murmuring" (both internally and externally) about this decision, but as things played out, this does seem to have been the right thing to do under the circumstances. Being fighty would have been far worse.
 

moss elk

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I had a choice of going head to head with the person and blowing up the issue into a fight ("powerful in the cheekbones"?)

So 43 says to find a way to peacefully rid yourself of this person. Line 3 says Batman is getting close to becoming the Dark Knight. (crossing the boundaries that seperate him from the criminal)
The strong cheekbones telegraph your intentions (and obsession?) for everyone to see. There is another way for you to win here besides head to head conflict.
 

kash

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I wouldn't say necessarily rid yourself of anyone. Just about how to handle the conflict. I suppose it could sometimes involve ridding yourself of the person, but not always.
 

Hujambo

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Thank you so much for this posting, kash. I received this response to a follow up question, where indeed very clear guidance was given (situation? 17.1.4>8) but I still doubted my course and my interpretation because it is the opposite of what everyone around me thinks I should do and if it goes wrong I will not easily recover. I asked for a little more clarification (15.4>62) then, So do I need to take any more actions right now or do nothing? 43.3>58. Literally I keep doing readings until I get back home. I don't know if that is a bad thing, doing a reading to overcome the doubt that inevitably creeps in when you know you don't have access to all the facts and you're pretty accomplished at getting bad outcomes for yourself.

I am waiting to be paid for work completed earlier in the year. I am being told to take a legal route, to display power or whatever, but I feel it is too soon to get into that drama and if I hold to not "embarrassing" him further even though he has totally breached the contract, he may turn back to doing the right thing. I have helped him so much in his career and he is so proud of the work I did for him. he can't hold those conflicting ideas for too much longer, I hope.

I reserve the right to tell the story within the industry if he doesn't pay soon though, and if I get any evidence that he is exerting effort to make life hard for me, I will likely walk a little way down the legal road. But I think he is just playing out his dark side again, something he did several times while I worked there and each time, it took a realisation from him that I am his ally not his enemy, before he got back on track. I want different things than he does and I don't work through power.

My challenge is that he is not responding to any communications and the questions are about whether I need to take any further external action. I don't want to drop my bundle and already know I have to keep pulling myself together because I am quite scared and spirally when I talk or worry about it. Still, I have been nothing but generous with my time, efforts, advice and the outcomes are beyond anything anyone could have imagined for that project. They have the money. There is no reason for this situation to persist. If it does I will probably survive it, I am quire resourceful - and that is my resting place at the end of every iching session.

This time though, kash I am so grateful, because I am not only resting now, thanks to your posting, there is trust that the only way for me that I am ever going to feel OK about, is my way, what feels right for me. I can't learn anything while I am enacting other people's ideas and I am so diminished when I try it, that no gold comes back for anyone. My efforts become a pointless sacrifice on the alter of conformity and an old futile wish for social acceptance. So yeah, I am humouring the fellow until he gets past whatever his sticking point is and I will revisit the situation in a few days if he doesn't.
 

Hujambo

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Quick follow up to confirm I heard back today with a very apologetic email and an offer to take me to lunch. We are negotiating a payment schedule. I did not try to contact him in the interim, he simply responded when he was ready. :)
 

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