...life can be translucent

Menu

Hexagram 24.1.6 to 23 Personal/professional entanglement-decisions

Wondering

visitor
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
26
Reaction score
3
Hello,
I'm in the process of negotiating terms on a collaborative project. The collaboration is a body of photographic work which culminated in a book which has just been released. My collaborator and I were scheduled to begin printing large editions in the darkroom this week, projected to go on multiple nights/wk during the next 4 months- with a requirement that it be done in this time frame.

Long story short- we've been working together and romantically involved for 10 years-with much fulfillment on all fronts except- consistently unable to resolve some conflicts around living arrangements and security- turning this into a marriage- lots of power struggles with him saying "Get with the Program (his)", and me saying, "Can we make the program together?" There have been other attempts on both of our parts to start other relationships, but we always end up realizing we care most for one another. I knew he was very frustrated and unhappy with our limbo-ness- but prior to my going on a residency, he told me that he had seen some other women recently, but none of them were right for him and he wanted to be with me. He was very short tempered with me though, which I see was anger/frustration over not being able to get what he wanted in the relationship, but also not being able to individuate either. I held out hope that we could work through the conflict to a resolution that could meet our needs.

When I returned, he volunteered to pick me up at the airport, and as he dropped me at the curb he told me he was seeing someone- someone that he had told me previously that he wasn't interested in. After asking some more questions I learned that he was in a full on relationship with her. There are a lot of very painful details for me- such as, they traveled together to a special place- she's really wealthy and can devote time to him and resources- and he is now closed to me, no longer my friend and any discussion about what happened is off limits. He's made his choice and is firm with it.

You might say, I had it coming- but it still feels like a shock and a sudden change of lifestyle, and the loss/adjustment is extremely painful. I don't think I can work together with him right now- (I'm raw and kind of volatile). He doesn't want to do all the prints himself, but might do it if I pay all the expenses for the darkroom and supplies (thousands), and possibly lose some equity in the print sales. The prints are very large, and I am not confident working independently without him either. It's no fun and tiring and toxic after my day job. IMO, he made the choices that created this new difficult situation, and I don't want to take too much of the hit. I also feel protective- because he is an aggressive advocate for his own interests.

So I asked, at this point, what kind of arrangement is best for me emotionally and professionally? And I got 24.1.6 Returning to Stripping Away. Returning confuses me, because I think he means returning to my own center- but it could represent returning to the darkroom- and the lines are contradictory.
I'm wondering if I should have a limited involvement in the process, or just cut bait altogether- ask him to do the work, and negotiate over payment and losses.

I also did a reading for withdrawing entirely- in which I would pay most of the expenses but maintain full equity. I received 51.1.2 Shock to 40 Release.

I'm not worried about the prints ultimately, but might be a bad idea to let go of some kind of hand in them- I just think that it will be painful to work with him and terrible to work without him too. If anyone has any insight, or even a better way to pose the question, I would greatly appreciate.
 

Trojina

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
26,921
Reaction score
4,426
So I asked, at this point, what kind of arrangement is best for me emotionally and professionally? And I got 24.1.6 Returning to Stripping Away. Returning confuses me, because I think he means returning to my own center- but it could represent returning to the darkroom- and the lines are contradictory.
I'm wondering if I should have a limited involvement in the process, or just cut bait altogether- ask him to do the work, and negotiate over payment and losses.

I had this exact cast for something important some years ago. If you look at the shape of the cast doesn't it remind you of a serpent eating it's tail...you know 24>23 a complete collapse then a fresh start or rather back to a fresh slate...which is exactly how it played out for me. But the line where things end and begin are sort of joined up and feed each other. So I think you have to allow this to collapse fully before it can start over in a new way. This isn't a cast where there's a possibility of patching things up, making do or even compromise. It's too late for that as 24.6 shows. Whilst this sounds terrible for me this was really positive ultimately. When something cannot be salvaged to let it fall, to empty your hands of it, can be a relief and it also makes a huge amount of space in your life for the seeds of new beginnings. I looked back at my old thread on this in CC and someone quoted Karcher I think on this cast where he said it was 'a dialogue of beginnings and endings' which I see as like that picture of the serpent eating it's tail, a whole cycle ending and beginning. And because you have lines 1 and 6 for me this shows the two hexagrams cycling here, you experience both together at the same time, it's not a linear process, it's more like the loss is actually the very opportunity needed for the return. 24 does signify the shortest day, that point from which the light increases.

So in answer to your question in general I'd say allow yourself to let go of what you can. Don't try remedial measures of any kind, allow collapse because it is only through that collapse that the seeds of the new times can emerge. You can feel at the same time that you are left with nothing but also that a huge weight has been lifted. What collapse means to you here I'm not sure but it doesn't look to me like trying to work with him. Don't be afraid of allowing things to collapse, it's kind of the only way forward.

I also did a reading for withdrawing entirely- in which I would pay most of the expenses but maintain full equity. I received 51.1.2 Shock to 40 Release.

I'm not worried about the prints ultimately, but might be a bad idea to let go of some kind of hand in them- I just think that it will be painful to work with him and terrible to work without him too. If anyone has any insight, or even a better way to pose the question, I would greatly appreciate
.

Yes I think this is an excellent cast for withdrawing entirely, couldn't be better. You have 40 there advising you to quickly choose your path...in 51 well this is scary and shocking but you don't lose the ladle , you don't lose what's most sacred to you. In line 2 there is some sadness yes but this line is a real reassurance you can, in time, come back from what look like losses in a whole new way you may not now be able to imagine.

I think your readings are quite clear.

BTW it occurs to me there is the possibility he isn't serious about the woman and is playing games with you perhaps but I think the advice of the readings is still very clear. Don't hold on, let things fall and know that that fall, that loss, in time will wholly reverse into a new dawn.
 

Wondering

visitor
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
26
Reaction score
3
Thank you so much, Trojina- for your compassionate, grounded and lucid interpretation. It confirms an earlier reading I did- (the previous day)- which was- What is the best possible scenario for me with the remaining work (for which we are both responsible and were scheduled to do together). I received:
31.6 Influence to 33 Retreat
It is true that in this new reality (as of a week ago learning the news), I have no voice/influence w/regard to any deeper analysis for what's happening on his end. What's done is done as far as he's concerned, and he's entitled. He has said to me, "I don't want to be working together if you're gonna be hating on me OR wanting to get back together with me." Harsh- for the transition anyway- backs me into a corner as for now- those are 2 emotions at he top of my list among others.

There was one more reading that I didn't share which may contradict these others that suggest cut bait. I asked how it would be if I had a limited presence- like printing on my own one day/wk (which I don't really want to do right now). The reading was 35.6 to 16. This suggests forward movement- but not sure I want to do this. 16 sort of describes him- in the negative sense though- the elephant trampling in his gusto. And here the elephant has no time for my petty emotions-oy! We have to get this work done!! Gees.
Many Thanks.
 

Trojina

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
26,921
Reaction score
4,426
There was one more reading that I didn't share which may contradict these others that suggest cut bait. I asked how it would be if I had a limited presence- like printing on my own one day/wk (which I don't really want to do right now). The reading was 35.6 to 16. This suggests forward movement- but not sure I want to do this. 16 sort of describes him- in the negative sense though- the elephant trampling in his gusto. And here the elephant has no time for my petty emotions-oy! We have to get this work done!! Gees.
Many Thanks.

I think the other readings are very strong. That is they are more than suggesting 'cut bait'...you know to me the 24.1.6>23 really shows something that will happen anyway, it's a powerful situation, you know one of those times in life where actually you have to go with the collapse of 23. Look at 24.6, you can't put things right.

I think 35.6 shows if you tried to do this one day a week it would be a big effort, it would take a lot of energy and you just couldn't go on with it long term. Everything is changing and your effort to do one day a week would be quite a forceful strong move for you but you couldn't go on like that.

And for the other question

What is the best possible scenario for me with the remaining work (for which we are both responsible and were scheduled to do together). I received:
31.6 Influence to 33 Retreat

This looks to me like an attempt at positivity which cannot run very deep. Self talk perhaps. We learn we must make the best of situations quite rightly so this is a valiant attempt as 35.6 would be but sometimes, like here, the overall situation is far too ...hmm what word to use...far too 'big' to overcome the way things are moving which is why I think you are better off in letting go as afar as possible.

Very hard times by the sound of it but there are powerful currents in your life moving here I think which ultimately can work in your favour.

Disclaimer. Thought I better add one when sounding so definite about readings and telling people what to do ;). That is how it looks to me with my limited knowledge of your situation. If anything feels wrong to you in any reading someone offers you then you have to give your own understanding preference. But I do think these are powerful readings, I don't see any doubt that you are better to let go.
 

Wondering

visitor
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
26
Reaction score
3
Thank you, Trojina. I am seeing him tonight at the darkroom and have let him know that I want to talk. I have all sorts of insights going on about what is happening- including my part in the failure of the relationship, and what should happen regarding compensation for the changes taking place. It seems like something like this needs to take place to promote healing and setting things right going forward. But I think as you've pointed out with 35.6- maybe that's not a good idea. I also want to be conscientious about not coming from any place of manipulation whatsoever- instead I want the truth and the rightness of things to will out.

So I asked the IC what I needed to know going into this discussion, and I received
Without Entanglement UC

Concerned about not making myself further vulnerable by unpacking the situation, I asked, What would I lose if I cut ties altogether, including ceasing our work partnership? (This is very scary for me, and I worry that I would be shooting myself in the foot professionally without his friendship and support. I received

Small Exceeding UC
A noble one in actions exceeds in respect,
In loss exceeds in mourning,
In spending exceeds in economy.

Very very sad, huh? Is the IC basically saying again- End this association? Thank you again for your valuable response to my longwinded scenario. I will definitely report back about how this plays out.
 

Trojina

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
26,921
Reaction score
4,426
From what you say and how I see the readings it just isn't feasible to try to work with him at all, that doesn't mean you can't speak to him or associate with him in any capacity. It's up to you.

I think the 25uc is saying there really is no need for you to try to have any particular impact on this. Just be genuine. You can disengage from it, almost as if it isn't your problem...you really don't need to get embroiled in discussion. In fact do you have to have this discussion at all ? I fear you will only come away from it more upset and Yi doesn't seem to indicate you need a discussion to straighten anything out.

Concerned about not making myself further vulnerable by unpacking the situation, I asked, What would I lose if I cut ties altogether, including ceasing our work partnership?

62uc here ? Well you have neither his friendship or his support, he's taken that away since you said in your first post

- she's really wealthy and can devote time to him and resources- and he is now closed to me, no longer my friend and any discussion about what happened is off limits. He's made his choice and is firm with it.


....so in 62 you need to conserve your resources, fly low, protect yourself...don't expose yourself to further injury in seeking more discussion. What would you lose...? I don't see this answer as telling you what you would lose since you are already in the 24>23 situation.
 

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top