Dear community,

My relationship with my husband has been in turmoil for the past few years. We're still living in the same house, but we pretty much have separate lives. It's better for the kids this way but I don't know how long we can last in this situation. Tonight, I saw he was going out and I asked Yi if he was going out with his friends or there's a woman in his life. I understand that Yi doesn't do "spy work", but it would help me to move on. I got 33.2.5>50.

33.2 - Wilhelm/Baynes: He holds him fast with yellow ox-hide. No one can tear him loose.
33.5 - Wilhelm/Baynes: Friendly retreat. Perseverance brings good fortune.

At first, my interpretation was Line 2 indicates that I need to have the strength to move on and line 5 confirms that a friendly withdrawal will bring good fortune. 50 perhaps marks a beginning of a new chapter??

But then when rereading my question, I asked if he was going out with friends or there's a woman in his life, so then could it mean that he's trying to "cut" the relationship with this person. I'm not sure and very confused.

If anyone could kindly give me insights to this, it is greatly appreciated!!

Can someone please help me with the interpretation. thank you very much in advance for your help!!

Hi trojina,

Do you have any thoughts on this? The interesting thing is the other tread is the inverse of this one.

The other tread is

https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...t-33-Need-help-with-interpretation&highlight=

Thank you so much for your help,

Hi yes it's really interesting to get readings that are the inverse of each other, that is same reading other way around, especially when on connected subject matter. I'm not sure what it signifies when that happens other than it is showing how the questions are reflections of each other, your questions mirrored each other.

I'd never be able to say whether a reading showed there was another woman. I don't think it is even possible to get that idea from any Yi reading with any certainty and I also would feel it unethical to tell a total stranger their husband is having an affair when I have not the faintest idea whether he is or not. That would be like making him guilty with no evidence whatsoever.

Tonight, I saw he was going out and I asked Yi if he was going out with his friends or there's a woman in his life. I understand that Yi doesn't do "spy work", but it would help me to move on

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Yi cannot help you move on with this because you need facts to move on. You cannot assume your husband is unfaithful without any factual evidence and a Yi cast is not factual evidence.

If you really suspect he has another woman you could take actual steps to check up on him.

You badly need to have some open communication with him that is for sure. Can you not just see if you can talk about all your worries with him ?

I can't try to interpret the cast because neither this cast nor any other would be sufficient for me to say he is having an affair.

I do think you need to be very clear about what you want. If you want to stay with him then you need to talk to each other. If he will not talk to you then maybe there is no way forward and separating is inevitable but maybe he doesn't want to separate at all, maybe he just feels cut off from you and doesn't know how to bridge that gap ?

The thing is I don't think you can learn from the I Ching what you actually need to learn from him. You want to know if he considers your relationship worth keeping. He is the one to ask. I wonder why you are so afraid to speak to him ? Is it that you fear he will get angry ?

Hi Trojina,

Looking back at these readings, I think perhaps Yi was pointing to me as I had originally thought. However, what made it confusing because there were times I did get the answers when asking about a third party, so I'm sure this time whether Yi was responding to my question or providing a guidance to my situation specifically.

In any case, I just want to let you know that I did have a talk with my husband (took a lot of courage out of me ). He said he doesn't have anyone and he's going out just to have fun. He is really hurt and scarred after what has happened between us, he said he's always thought that we would live together for the rest of our lives, but he's not sure anymore.

Anyway, there's a lot of details and I'm not sure where this will lead us, but at least for me, I felt a big rock has gotten off my back.

Thank you very much Trojina for your insights and especially for your encouragement at a time like this. I sincerely wish that you'll be blessed with happiness as you have given to others.

I then asked if he will come back to me after this long talk and got 35.4>23. Wow, I guess not! One of the lines I got from Wikiwing "focusing on whatever minor thing someone had done wrong, losing the big picture", so perhaps he's still scarred from what has happened and will not want to try again. What do you think?

My next question "what should I do to move on" and got 14.1.2.6>62. Line 1 - I should try to maintain the right conduct, just focus on doing the right thing regardless of his behavior, line 2 - do not hang on to the past, be open to new things, line 6- a blessing from heaven. What do you think?

The lines are positive but I know it's going to be another difficult phase for me, just thinking of going through another challenging hurdle scares me. I wonder what this blessing from heaven is.

I'm glad you talked to him. I'm glad he said this

In any case, I just want to let you know that I did have a talk with my husband (took a lot of courage out of me ). He said he doesn't have anyone and he's going out just to have fun. He is really hurt and scarred after what has happened between us, he said he's always thought that we would live together for the rest of our lives, but he's not sure anymore.

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He is hurt after what happened between you ? Do you mean he is hurt after the talk you had ? Then it sounds to me like he had no idea anything was wrong ?

Is it a culture thing ? In my father's generation it was quite 'normal' for the man to go out each night and for the husband and wife to have parallel but quite separate lives in their own spheres, especially as they got older. Not a lot of romance but a comfortable life together wasn't seen as a bad thing. I'm only pondering this as I'm puzzled, my impression is your husband is quite happy with you. The fact he goes out each night doesn't have to indicate he wants to leave you and indeed he has said quite clearly he expected to share the rest of his life with you.

He might be lying of course, I don't know, but even if he was he is still anxious to remain with you and not anxious to go off with someone else.

Regarding him going out a lot, did he ever, years ago, ask you to come with him and you declined because of the children and so on ? It's just I wonder if you could go out with him maybe one evening a week now ? Just because you have a pattern of him going out and you staying home (I think) it doesn't mean it has to stay that way. What if you suggest you would like some time out having fun with him just one night a week ? Maybe having a drink, something to eat (53.2), going to the cinema, or something else you would like to do. Remember the 4.2 you had. You can think of new things, you can come up with new ideas.

I then asked if he will come back to me after this long talk and got 35.4>23. Wow, I guess not! One of the lines I got from Wikiwing "focusing on whatever minor thing someone had done wrong, losing the big picture", so perhaps he's still scarred from what has happened and will not want to try again. What do you think?

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You are in Change Circle or just in Wikiwing ? I didn't know you were in CC.

No you cannot conclude from this line that the relationship cannot develop. Remember past readings, you have had 53 several times and 53.3 several times but also 53.2 53.5. Also he has not said he wants to leave or that the relationship is a mess or anything like that, so that's a good start to develop from.

Also this line you have taken is not what the I Ching says . The line you quote is from an experience of Hilary's she has written for the line. That really doesn't mean the line always means that. This is what Yi says, this is your answer

'Prospering like a bushy-tailed rodent,
Constancy means danger.'

A bushy tailed rodent runs around a grain store furtively trying to get what it can. It's not ideal because rather than be open and bold and state what one needs one might be going about things in a furtive manner. To be honest that kind of reminds me of the fear and hesitancy you feel. It may refer to him of course but I'm not inclined, as I explained above, to make statements about what he is doing.

My next question "what should I do to move on" and got 14.1.2.6>62. Line 1 - I should try to maintain the right conduct, just focus on doing the right thing regardless of his behavior, line 2 - do not hang on to the past, be open to new things, line 6- a blessing from heaven. What do you think?

The lines are positive but I know it's going to be another difficult phase for me, just thinking of going through another challenging hurdle scares me. I wonder what this blessing from heaven is

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Move on in what way ? Do you mean 'move on' as in leave him or move on as in get over this bad patch in the marriage ?

14.1.2.6>62. I think the 62 describes your position now. A small bird against a big sky. Being very careful, almost excessively careful with the blessings you are in possession of.

Yi is saying you are already in possession of that which you desire and you are free to move forward with it. I am inclined to think that is the marriage itself but obviously you don't see it that way so perhaps not.

I think in this and all the other readings like the 53 ones, you are being encouraged to really focus on the positives in the relationship rather than think of it as a disaster. In 14 the attitude of gratitude is encouraged but quite often we simply don't see what we have when we get 14.

If you are terribly unhappy with him it just won't make sense to you to be told to 'focus on the positives' I know but whatever 14 is referring to here you already have blessings in your possession. If you do want to leave him then it would seem you have the means. If you don't well that's good because he doesn't want to leave you either, at least he says he doesn't and I guess he should know best about what he wants.

The penny finally dropped when you are asking if he will come back to you and saying the marriage is a mess it's because there's no sexual relationship anymore ? Is that right ? Sorry to be so blunt. I was puzzled because it's not clear what is so wrong and he says he want to stay with you for the rest of your lives but you have been so scared to talk to him. If it was about sex that explains why you would be so scared to broach it with him given it's such a delicate issue he might find it hurtful.

Sorry if this is too personal, I can delete it if you prefer, just message me...it is just this has only just occurred to me and it would explain why you think he has another woman.

I hope others will give their ideas too since I am not a marriage expert

oh and for reference, in case anyone else has any thoughts, turbinluv revived this thread after we spoke of it here https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...ip-evolve-this-year-53-2-3-5-gt-4-Please-help! which is where the references to 53 and other casts come from

tubinluv said:

I understand that Yi doesn't do "spy work", but it would help me to move on. I got 33.2.5>50

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Yi only does spy work when it wants to:
when it is good for you to know. In this instance, I think it did.

Some have written that 33.2 refers to a relationship that is chaffing, like a pair of shoes that gives a blister. 33.5 friendly retreat.

Looking at the whole reading:

He Retreats (33), from a chaffing relationship (line2), in a friendly way(line 5), and goes out to Dinner(50).


It doesn't show another woman involved, but surely you can see that this is where it will logically and naturally conclude, if you don't resolve your relationships problems first.

Thank you Moss Elk for your insight. This makes more sense so now I can relate to 50.2.5>33, which could mean that (line 2)I may not be happy with his "new life" (going out a lot) but he's not worried about it if he's not doing any wrong and line 5 confirms that. Would you think?

Trojina, "A bushy tailed rodent runs around a grain store furtively trying to get what it can. It's not ideal because rather than be open and bold and state what one needs one might be going about things in a furtive manner. To be honest that kind of reminds me of the fear and hesitancy you feel. It may refer to him of course but I'm not inclined, as I explained above, to make statements about what he is doing", thank you for this perspective, I've had hard times interpreting this in the past.

yes, it could point to my situation or his, but I think in this case, it's more to him than myself (again, I could be wrong). He's a very private person and what he has been doing raised many questions in my mind. He doesn't even share any of that with the kids. When they come home, they can only talk to me about our situation. He's a good father, he takes care of them and do things with them but he absolutely doesn't share any of his personal feelings.

What makes me worry is hex 23, I've had this many times in the past and it hasn't been so great!

I've messaged you Trojina, please let me know when you receive it.

Thank you both again for your help!