Hello, just came across this lovely community yesterday. I feel so grateful to have found it and would love your two cents on the muddy situation I'm in at the moment.I'm wondering whether or not I should continue the semester. I've been finding it hard to gather up the energy and drive to go to class at all, I'm extremely behind. I feel a lot that I want to do things that would be good for my well-being, but sometimes when I'm doing them, I feel like I'm wasting my time and not being productive. I've been feel very fear-driven lately and anxious, but I know what peace tastes like and I want so badly to get better and to want to get out of bed, but when I'm low it's hard to look up. Some days I don't even want to leave my room because I don't want anyone to see me. I don't really know how to communicate this with my friends and family and don't want to place burden on anyone, I feel badly even writing about it know, but I'm at my wits end and really want to move past this funk. What is your take on how I should move forward this season? I feel so unable to move and am craving a fresh start and time to pursue what I interests me without feeling full of shame or guilt or anger at myself.Thank you.Please feel free to ask clarifying questions and questions about the situation if it might be useful.

First don't worry


Your basic question is

'What is your take on how I should move forward this season?'



I've copied the translation of the lines from Hilary's translation in WikiWing so I can see them here

My first general impression from the reading is, you aren't off course at all and neither are you stuck at a dead end or anything like that. Though hexagram 11 is sometimes called 'Peace' it is better called 'Flow' because it isn't peaceful at all. Energies are moving and interacting, changing, developing and all for the greater good. You didn't get 12, you aren't stymied.

When you feel terrible this may not seem believable but I think I trust this answer.

Line 1 says

'Pulling up thatch grass, roots entangled,
With more of its kind.
Setting out to bring order, good fortune.'

I think this line can show up when you start to try to tackle things which leads on to tackling still more things until you gradually see that individual problems all come from one root are all connected. What is more there is a kind of underground network of support you may not yet perceive or be aware of. If you keep on keeping on this will be clearer over time. I'd say this was a 'keep going' message. You aren't the only one who feels this way, you are already connected, underneath the surface, to a much wider group who can help and support you.



Line 2

'Embracing emptiness, using it to cross the river He without a boat.
Not distanced from those left behind/ Not distancing and leaving behind.
Friends disappear.
Gaining honour, moving to the centre.'

This can actually be quite a difficult line to experience. Imagine the experience, trying to cross a river without a boat, losing sight of shore, losing sight of what you left, losing sight of what is familiar. It's hard. My own experiences with this line and what I have read of others show this can be a time you simply feel completely at sea as if someone had cut you loose and you were just bobbing on alone in a vast expanse of water. Yet this line also says 'Gaining honour, moving to the centre' and I think this can mean this period of feeling lost is actually moving you towards your very own centre. Very often preceeding a stride forward in life a person experiences great aloneness as they try to reach the heart of what they want, and for some time have to suspend the idea of a destination and simply 'travel light'.

Going through such transitions you can't afford to carry heaviness and shame because you are crossing a river, you are on your way somewhere, however it looks you are on your way somewhere and you need not to feel hampered or held back.

15 as the relating hexagram here really asks you to take a very practical view of simply the things you need to do now, today. It's a very down to earth hexagram. It's not asking you to make big plans or huge decisions it only ask you do the next thing there is to do. That along with 11.1 and 11.2 makes me that how you should move forward this season is

1. Be aware you are in a dynamic phase where many changes are happening, know that it's a ride (11)

2. Be aware there is far far more support for you than you imagine it's just a little out of sight at the moment. That doesn't mean it's not there. (line 1)

3. Be aware you are crossing a river and the way to get across is to travel light, accepting a feeling of emptiness and loss at times since it is all part of moving towards your future

4. Place emphasis on doing the next task not on thinking about long term prospects, that's too much for you now. If you get up to go to one class and talk to one person in a day then you are doing well. Do not ask huge things of yourself and also although you feel alone and Yi says that is part of the journey right now other aspects of the reading do suggest you begin to seek support. You don' t have to make any big decisions right now if you don't want to. You can coast for a while just doing what needs to be done.

What you are going through is really prevalent for students now. Could you book a slot with a student counsellor for help ?

I see the reading as very much 'keep on keeping on', one day at a time, giving yourself credit that it's hard and lonely...BUT I also know if you feel very low this may not be possible for you and you may need help before you can do any of that. Do you think that is the case ?

It could be you need to switch to a different course, it's not unusual for students to want to do that, you'd need to talk to someone about that and it could be sorted out. You must never feel that by sharing your problems that you are a burden to anyone. It could be you are unwell with depression right now and need some time off and that would be fine too. If that is the case you also need to speak to a student counsellor or tutor so that everyone is in the picture and can support you as best they can.

Dear Trojina, Thank you so much for your thoughtful response, it brought me a lot of peace. Describing peace as flow is such a helpful way to picture it, you're so right--peace isn't still and quiet, it's much more like allowing the russshhhhhing stream to pass through you. About the thatch grass, I was watching this documentary about this old fella who essentially taught himself how to build a house and live completely off grid.. he was sayin how you just do the next step, figure that out, and learn it as it comes, and by the end you'll wonder how you pulled it off. Thank you for bringing the message that the support is under me if I open myself to it, I see that more clearly now. I do feel that I am becoming more centered in myself and perhaps I'm in the middle of that "great loneliness". Reminds me of how Bukowski painted isolation as the gift. I appreciate very much the reminder that I only need to think about this moment, and this moment, and this moment, and give attention and energy only to the next thing. I think that's been the biggest lesson gleaned from this encounter with anxiety/depression. I still am not sure if I will continue this semester but by sweet synchronicity a new friend yesterday gave me some courage about the whole thing, the universe is always conspiring for us. Thanks again, Trojina! You rock my socks forreaaal.

Hilary, owner of this website called 11 Flow, I'd recommend her book if you don't have it yet. Glad you are feeling a bit better. Sounds like there's a lot to cope with so I'm sure you won't be surprised if you hit another low, but if you do get the reading out, paint or draw the answer, stick it on a wall to make it more solid. Readings just by themselves can sometimes change things. Mostly people look to answers to tell them what to do but sometimes the answer itself, the response from Yi is in itself enough to change one's awareness of things, like magic.

Hello atomicbalm,
I know this was written several months ago, but I only read this now. I wish I had seen your post sooner because my daughter went through something very similar a little over a year ago. She reached out for our help when it was already too late and did not finished her semester. A week before graduation she finally told us (her parents) how bad she had been feeling the whole semester and how she did not have the courage to go to class, stayed in her room for several weekd, not wanting anyone to see her, etc. I am saying all this just so you know I think I understand what you are talking about and that I am sorry you felt this way. How did it turn out for you? When this happened to my daughter, we contacted her university and found ut that (we are inthe USA) most universities have, support groups, a nurse , etc. actual people you can talk to and who can help. I know it may feel like an impossible task, but if you are in the US, your school might be able to help. Perhaps this is what line 1 is referring to. Can you talk to them. Have you? How did it turn out for you?
Anyway, I know this thread is kind of old and I do hope you feel much better these days.

How did it go for you?

Hello atomicbalm,
I know this was written several months ago, but I only read this now. I wish I had seen your post sooner because my daughter went through something very similar a little over a year ago. She reached out for our help when it was already too late and did not finished her semester. A week before graduation she finally told us (her parents) how bad she had been feeling the whole semester and how she did not have the courage to go to class, stayed in her room for several weekd, not wanting anyone to see her, etc. I am saying all this just so you know I think I understand what you are talking about and that I am sorry you felt this way. How did it turn out for you? When this happened to my daughter, we contacted her university and found ut that (we are inthe USA) most universities have, support groups, a nurse , etc. actual people you can talk to and who can help. I know it may feel like an impossible task, but if you are in the US, your school might be able to help. Perhaps this is what line 1 is referring to. Can you talk to them. Have you? How did it turn out for you?
Anyway, I know this thread is kind of old and I do hope you feel much better these days.