I really ticked off a friend of mine by saying the wrong thing in a text. It wasn't meant to do that, it just did. I tried correcting it with another text. Then I tried calling, but got hung up on. I really feel terrible. So I've left it alone for about a week or so. My question was, is there anything I can do to repair this relationship? I know that 7 means having a definite strategy, but I'm at a loss at 44. This is one of those hexagrams the more I read about it, the more confused I am trying to decide what its trying to say, especially in this instance. I've check the Iching almost daily over this and almost every reading seems to say he's not going to make the first move.

The disunion is only temporarily. You cannot correct what you did right now, because you are not fully aware of why it was all so hurtful for her/him. Or am I wrong? Anyhow, you make it just worse if you try to enforce an reunion.
One day your friend should surprisingly contact you again.

Maybe you send one more text simply saying that you are sorry and that you are ready to talk about it, when she/he wants and then you leave it alone.

Just to mention that hexagram 7 means also discipline. After what happened you must discipline yourself and don't be so forceful.

ScorpioC said:

I really ticked off a friend of mine by saying the wrong thing in a text. It wasn't meant to do that, it just did. I tried correcting it with another text. Then I tried calling, but got hung up on. I really feel terrible. So I've left it alone for about a week or so. My question was, is there anything I can do to repair this relationship? I know that 7 means having a definite strategy, but I'm at a loss at 44. This is one of those hexagrams the more I read about it, the more confused I am trying to decide what its trying to say, especially in this instance. I've check the Iching almost daily over this and almost every reading seems to say he's not going to make the first move.

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Hmm taking the hexagrams together as a picture 'Coupling's Army' this looks like a picture of manipulation to me and not from your side either.

I'd take 44 as a warning sign here that this person is using this opportunity to manipulate you, perhaps by not responding. Don't fall for it.

So you sent some silly text message and then you tried to put it right. I think a real friend would be understanding and when I see 44 there I'm not thinking this is someone who is a real friend to you. You are afterall being warned not to 'marry' into this relationship which would mean not offering loyalty and commitment, ie friendship. And friendship is a kind of marriage.

When 44 shows up around friendships it's always worth having a close look to see if you are being used or manipulated. The 7 there makes me think this is part of a scheme, like a way of playing someone.

I could be wrong but is this person continually making you feel like you did wrong, continually making you feel guilty and putting you on the wrong foot ? If so then this cast is a warning I think not to waste too much sincerity in this friendship. You apologised or tried to set things straight, there is no more you need to do and also was the original text that bad anyway ?

I raise all these things because in 44 another's agenda can easily intrude on ours without our awareness. We can just feel overwhelmed or guilty or just de-stabilised. Sure 44 can indicate a lot else besides but from what you say of the situation and the 44 and the 7, hmm I am quite sceptical that it really is down to you to repair the relationship. Indeed in the end I think you might just let this friendship go, looking at line 6. I think when you have thought about this you will see there's a lot of demands made on you somehow struggle to fulfil (lines 3 and 4) and you are continually making sacrifices.

Of course if you leave this person alone and they are manipulating you they will get back to you all of a sudden (line 5) but actually do you want them in your life ? I think you may re-think it altogether and move away from them (line 6)

Okay, if there is a pattern in your friendship like a "silence treatment" strategy to manipulate you, then I agree with Trojinas words.

Wow! Thank you, all of you, you're right on target! The "sacrifice" was me sending subversive cross stitch, which all of us think is funny, time and shipping that cost me. The "stupid" part was when he wanted me to make a minor change...after it was done, and if you know anything about the art, easier said then done. I said he was a meanie and he just flew into a rage. The manipulation part is typical, he calls it "charm" and there's some truth in that. The part I guess he doesn't get is, I see through it, so I'm aware that it's my choice to "play". All well and good most of the time between us. I can see the power of not responding and waiting putting us back on an even playing field with him having a bit more respect for me. I get this now. I'll wait. I'll be fascinated to see how long it takes. It's like the stare down game, who smiles first. When you talk about line 6 and whether to stay friends. We've been friends for years, there's an age difference, and it's kind of his immaturity, "if I can get away with it, I will." Old behavior. Makes me laugh now. With this insight, I'll just wait. Thank you again.

One more thing, you're right, I have no idea why at that moment, calling him a meanie put him over the edge. I meant it as making me go through all that, then requesting a change. No idea what cord it struck on him.

Just an update. It's been over a month. I believe that the friendship I thought was there was just manipulation to string us along. It would be a huge shock to hear from him again because to do so would mean he'd be trying to use us for some kind of gain and I can't imagine what that would be. I think if he was going to say something like, I was having a bad day, it would have happened already. Pretty sad.

Another update. The entire process included a huge email "fight" where we were "blasting" each other, then he blocked me, I used another email, we continued, tit for tat...got ALL the miscommunication noted...at which point I asked, "can we stop fighting now, please?!" A calm completely different tone in a new email came. I waited a week...today was the first day we're back to normal. Holy crow, was that a rough ride!!! I think we'll actually be closer friends and the whole thing was a really yucky but necessary process for the both of us. The time was 59 days.

Cool that you sorted it out.

And thanks for the update!