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reconnecting with someone, many unchanging casts

angelstalk

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hello, i am a novice at i ching but i'm in a situation where i could possibly soon be reconnecting with a lost love. it's been 4 years and i never, ever gave up on loving him. i know he does have feelings for me still but we have some respective reasons why we were never able to be together in the past.

i decided to consult i ching about it before the big day even though i understand i can't really use i ching to snoop in someone's private heart. still i got the following answers, all unchanging, right in a row:

how does x feel about me these days > 55
how does x feel about the preset status of our relationship > 44 (a little scared here)
what does x want to do in regards to me > 45
how does x feel about seeing me again > 30

over the next few days, i asked a few questions more even though i probably shouldn't pick at it too much but i noticed i was getting back a lot of 55 with changing lines as well. hexagram 55 seems to stump me, it seems so much like a basic yes to a yes/no question no matter the line and i have a lot of confusion about how to interpret that when it comes to answers about feelings and thoughts.

also 44 scares me because i feel like it has some negative connotations of course. i feel really good about him in general but of course the strained relationship has been a source of bad feelings through the years. do you think 44 unchanging can be interpreted to mean there is something toxic to him about us? do you think many unchanging casts denote a situation where things are likely to remain the same as they are, since there's no change? i'm very intrigues by this.

if anyone could please let me know of any insights that would be wonderful. i just asked another question, "what should i do to prepare for us meeting again" and received 42 unchanging. i've learned that to be a positive hexagram! is there good news here?
 
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diamanda

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So many unchanging hexagrams show that he's pretty set in his mind about you.

My experiences with these hexagrams are something like this:

how does x feel about me these days > 55 unchanging (55 uc)
He feels somewhat sad, but there's plenty more fish in the sea :-/

how does x feel about the preset status of our relationship > 44 unchanging (44 uc)
He'd like sex but not a relationship.
Or maybe he believes you're after sex only.
Or, if it's you initiating this contact, then it doesn't bode well.

what does x want to do in regards to me > 45 unchanging (45 uc)
Meet socially, go out with you.

how does x feel about seeing me again > 30 unchanging (30 uc)
He's very self-centered, he's not really thinking about you as a person.

what should i do to prepare for us meeting again? 42 unchanging (42 uc)
Consider how he could be of profit to you. What's the benefit for you? Concentrate on that.
Or, whoever of the two of you is in a better place in life, should be the one to increase the other.
Or, think how you can 'increase' him as a man (e.g. dress sexy etc).
 

angelstalk

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oh thank you so much! i'll be meditating on your feedback today :)

as for hexagram 44, i felt maybe like that could indicate a destructive obsession. maybe he feels that the current status of our relationship is based on unhealthy energy. the thing is, i feel like at this point the relationship isn't sexual per se because we haven't been romantic in a very long time but there's definitely been unhealthy attachment on an emotional level. do you think it could be related to that?

actually, it's him who wants to initiate. as much as i want to, i also kind of don't....it's very complicated for me emotionally. i'm really ashamed because i have some problems that i haven't beat yet and i'd be really embarrassed if he saw me like this. i think he might know what my problem is and it scares me a great deal.

as for hexagram 42, that's really interesting! actually we do have a sort of status "gap" because he is a celebrity in my country whereas i'm a normal person. we met really early on in his career though when he wasn't really famous at all. i can see how hexagram 30 ties into that because well, as a celebrity, he is pretty self-centered. i'm not sure he's not really thinking of me though since it's him who wants to meet me.

i guess this situation really boils down to whether or not i have the courage to face him. it makes me a little scared. thanks again for your help!
 
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diamanda

Guest
the thing is, i feel like at this point the relationship isn't sexual per se because we haven't been romantic in a very long time
Ok sure, but your question was how he feels about it.

In my opinion 44 isn't about obsession (that would be 18). It's just about temporary 'sex'.

In any case, wishing you good luck, hope it turns out well :)
 

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