Hi all,

I am spinning my wheels about something and wondered if you could weigh in. I was recently asked by an acquaintance/colleague for a professional meeting (a studio visit, as I'm an artist). It kind of took me by surprise, because I don't know him very well. But he works for a gallery I'm loosely affiliated with, so it's not that unusual. Although, right away I was a little perplexed, because he doesn't do studio visits for that gallery (the owners do) and he has never been super chatty with me or anything so I didn't really think of us as pals.

It got me wondering why he asked for the visit, if it is professional for his own practice (he is also an artist), personal (maybe he is interested in me?), or professional because he is scoping for the gallery?? To be honest, while I don't know much about him, I am kind of interested in him, because he is very good looking! lol

Anyway, it seemed more personal, because he didn't use the gallery email to contact me but instead reached out on social media to set up a visit.. But the thing is that I messaged him a couple of days ago, and I haven't heard back yet. I can tell he read the message so am wondering why he hasn't responded? I am obviously a bit anxious about the visit overall for all of the above reasons! Because although I am affiliated with the gallery they have just sold my stuff back door, and I haven't gotten to show there. I really want to! And he is really cute! lolol So I really want to get something on the books, so my curiosity can finally be cured on all fronts.

Anyway, today I asked why I haven't heard from him and received 22.3.5.6. Focusing on line 5 is it something about him feeling inadequate?? I hope not.

Also, I have asked too many questions at this point, but one of my initial questions (which I received as a response twice) was basically asking what kind of interest he has in me. I got 14.2.5.

I thought maybe this meant that his intentions were more friendly or something.. I don't know though. I still think it's weird that he reached out to me at all, and his initial message seemed a little flirty bc it was basically just a "howdy" and a cute emoji lol

Anyway, your thoughts are appreciated!

:bows:

Hey Ariel! I'm leaning towards thinking this is more of a personal interest in you—is he single? Does he know you are? Do you mean he's a curator or just a gallery assistant-type? I think if he was repping the gallery (and who knows, maybe the owners are now having him do studio visists, people get promoted, given more responsibility, and the art world is so loose) he would have used his gallery email, no question. But social media makes me think not. Plus the "Howdy" and cute emoji. I'm also in the art world and I don't know anyone who has set up a studio visit that way as part of their professional role. That's a friendship/non-work/fellow artist way to set up a visit.

Many women I know have had studio visits set up by men in the art world who were clearly just interested in possibly dating/sleeping with them, too, it's a trope (as I'm sure you know already). That said, if these guys are not abusive, it can still be a good and productive encounter. And maybe you'll hit it off!

But...I can't really interpret the questions because of the way you phrased them. You don't know him well enough to do the "What's in his head right now?" question format with Yi, it's only going to produce uninterpretable muddle. I can't tell whether his intentions are romantic, friendly, etc from those castings, haven't got a clue, and I'm not even sure they're at all about him; I think Yi is talking directly to you. 14.2.5 is quite nice, as is the 22 casting, but it's hard to say. Intuitively they do feel more "friendship" than "romance" but there's no way to tell really.

A better format would be:

"What do I need to know about this interaction?"
"What do I need to know about his intentions towards me?"
"Can you advise me on my best course of action in this situation?"

etc...

Try to shake yourself out of wanting to get into his head, it's not going to work.

Good luck!! Please update, I'm curious how this turns out!

Hi Mulberry,

Thanks so much for your reply! Ha! It's kind of refreshing actually that you are in the art world so have some perspective on the details of this interaction.

mulberry said:

Hey Ariel! I'm leaning towards thinking this is more of a personal interest in you—is he single? Does he know you are?Do you mean he's a curator or just a gallery assistant-type?

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Tbh sometimes I post things here, because I'm working them out in my head but haven't had a chance to speak to a friend yet about them. I spoke to my friend yesterday, who is also in the art world, and yep she agreed that the request was personal due to the way he contacted me. But as for whether or not he is single, I have no idea! Also, I don't know if he knows I am although I think it's obvious from my Instagram account.

But yeah, actually I think he is more like a gallery assistant/preparator, but there are no titles on the website or their emails, so I have no way of knowing for sure. But yes you are also right about the looseness of the art world so no telling if he also helps scout a little. He has also shown at the gallery, so there is obviously a looseness of roles there. I know a lot of places that WILL NOT show their employees, so this place is obviously more open. But I probably shouldn't even be worried about that though, because the owner did ask me for a visit herself and I emailed her (I should probably be more worried about not having heard back about THAT lol ) Anyway, overall I am looking at this as a more personal interaction, perhaps with the added benefit of helping with my overall relationship with the gallery.

mulberry said:

Many women I know have had studio visits set up by men in the art world who were clearly just interested in possibly dating/sleeping with them, too, it's a trope (as I'm sure you know already). That said, if these guys are not abusive, it can still be a good and productive encounter. And maybe you'll hit it off!

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Ha! This. Too funny. I didn't mention anything about this in my original post, because I didn't necessarily expect to have an audience that would be privy to the trope. But you are exactly right!! This happens all the time to the point that I think people are sometimes afraid to ask each other for studio visits because of how it might be interpreted lol. I am usually dumb about this stuff though and try to treat everything professionally.. Anyway, that is partly why I was wondering about this visit, because when I saw the guy I was also wearing this kind of sexy dress. I don't normally dress that way. Of course it's also partially wishful thinking, because I am attracted to him.

Thanks for the advice on how to phrase the questions. I think you are right that I don't know him well enough to even attempt to get into his head. But also, at this point it has been like 3 almost four days since I sent him the times I can meet, so I'm thinking whatever his reasoning was originally, either he has thought better of it, or it just isn't a priority which is frustrating whether it is purely platonic or otherwise. I think this is something I shouldn't be giving so much mental energy too, I just got excited for a moment, and when I get I excited I get impatient lol.

Anyway, I did rephrase the questions. When I asked "What do I need to know about his intentions toward me?" I got 54 unchanging. Hmphhhh. I don't like that one. I feel like it could mean a million things from he has a girlfriend, to he wants to hook-up but I'm second place, to I'm lower on the totem pole bc I don't show at the gallery lol.

Then I asked, "What course of action should I take regarding this interaction?" I got 28 unchanging. Hmmm. I have read before maybe this is just about the tension/energy I'm adding to the situation by overthinking it.

Then I asked, "What do I need to know about this interaction?" I got hex 26.3. Honestly, I feel like it's saying to use it as a tool. Very unromantic indeed! hummphhh lolol

Anyway, any additional interpretations are appreciated. I'll definitely let you know if anything changes! :bows:

Anyway, I did rephrase the questions. When I asked "What do I need to know about his intentions toward me?" I got 54 unchanging. Hmphhhh. I don't like that one.

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I encourage you to read the hexagram essays available on this website. They've been of great help to me when interpreting readings. Also of great help will be your experiences with hexagrams in past readings, what the situations were, what ultimately happened and how you handled them.

In the case of 54: He's unavailable for a relationship. I had one experience with this hexagram, also unchanging, where this was indeed the situation.

You said he reached out to you on social media. If he has a Facebook page, I advise checking it out. A person who is married or in some kind of relationship often has this in their profile on Facebook. It's worth a look.

Hexagram 28 is advising you to get the heck out of there, as in "Run, the ridgepole is about to break and the building is collapsing!" It is a situation where one feels much pressure, a situation that cannot sustain itself for very long. A turning point is at hand. Many hexagrams mention retreat in some form, but this one speaks of outright flight. I got this hexagram once when I was dating someone and I got a really bad feeling about him afterwards. I took the advice.

Considering you got two unchanging hexagrams, you have before you a very stark picture of what the situation is and what to do about it. One final consideration: How do you feel about him? Instincts often reveal things that are not yet in play, but could be with time.

Hexagram 26 is about learning to restrain a powerful force. It may be a sign that there is too much energy/emotion going towards thinking about him. Relate to this with hexagram 41 (what is sometimes interpreted as the "outcome" you got from changing line 3), the empty cauldron: "I shall not want." An empty cauldron can mean possibilities, or it can mean bemoaning a lack. Which do you think rings true here?

Hi Little Miss Sunshine,

Thanks for your response. Yeah.. I've been on this forum for 5 years. I do read the essays thanks. Also, of course I would have checked his Facebook to see if he is available if he had one. He does not. Also he just joined the other site, so there are not pictures really, only two of his art so far lol.

As for the interpretations. Yes of course I always compare the hexagrams to my experiences and try to form my own conclusions, which I actually listed in my post. I like to post on the forum to get other people's interpretations.

As for your interpretations, you may be right that he is unavailable, has a girlfriend or something. I have no idea. To be honest at this point I'm just irritated that he never responded about the meeting though, because regardless it's just kind of rude. If you ask someone for a studio visit and they go to the trouble of trying to schedule something– you should respond. That's both a personal and professional courtesy. He still hasn't responded.

I don't know about 28 as telling me to run out and find someone else to date.. I'm still leaning towards maybe I was just putting too much energy into the whole thing. I did meet someone last night though, so it's not like I'm sitting home twiddling my thumbs.

Maybe you are right though that I was picking up on something instinctively with him. My instinct tells me that he is interested in me honestly. I don't know why I second guess myself. It's always perplexing when someone expresses an interest and then disappears though.. I live in a big city though, so it happens a lot. Part of me wonders if he figured out that I am older than he probably realized.. He's around eight years younger than me.

Anyway, I'm not going to worry to much about it. I am interested in him, but if he can't even follow up with a studio visit I don't think it's worth worrying about!

Thanks again for your responses!

:bows:

Just to update on this thread– I'm still not totally sure if the guy was ever romantically interested in me, but he did come to my studio recently. And surprise! It was WITH his bosses. They ALL came to my studio! It was nerve wracking but wonderful, and they want to continue to work with me. I'm not sure if the guy was more interested in me or my work, but either way it appears we are going to be even more like colleagues now. So it worked out fine in my opinion

Oh AND one really interesting thing is that similar to the reading above I actually kept drawing 22.5 in various forms. It turns out that what the IChing was saying was that I myself would be worried that my roll of silk was small, but it would lead to good fortune. And this was because I was nervous about having such a big studio visit in my live/work studio. So I spent like a week cleaning, spackling, and painting, and the visit went amazing and they seemed very impressed. So it was definitely good fortune in the end

Your 22.5 insight that the I Ching was referring to you as feeling a bit uncertain is worth preserving over in WikiWing, imho, if you care to post it there...

Oh sure! I have never posted there.. I suppose I could. Just to clarify though– it actually seemed almost more prophetic as to how I would feel when the whole group decided to descent upon my studio. I didn't feel like my "roll of silk" was too small when I was just thinking of the guy visiting. But anyway, it was so interesting that it kept popping up. I also think it might still relate to his feelings, because I think that he is nervous about his work and not as social with other artists as I am