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Death of a beloved person. 23.6>2

lucuma

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Hello to all.Back in 2013 the man who was my partner died of Hodgkins Lynphoma at the age of 23.It was surprising and sudden. I felt devastated and cried for weeks.I didn't know how to carry on with my life so I followed my parents advice. I took a job offer, left our house and moved with a friend.It was a quick process and I felt empty, but I accepted what life brought.A year later I met a man, we fell in love and became a couple. We started a family and now are parents of a lovely son. It felt right at the time. I have no regrets, because otherwise, without this new relationship I would have die. I had no courage to be alone. My husband knew my story from the beginning and accepted it.But the pain stills lacerates me often. I feel I am not over mourning. I miss D. so much. I love my family, but sometimes I wish I am not here anymore. In these years I have tried therapy, alternative healing, writing, meditating -everything I could think of to learn to accept and let go.Today I felt like I could sleep forever. The pain is unbearable.I asked the Master "Please give me a message from D."I don't know if one is supposed to ask such questions. I just need to talk to him one more time. An explanation. His death was so sudden and sad, like an accident, I could not say goodbye.He was a beautiful, caring, respectful human being. One of a kind.I know I have responsabilities now and I cannot get carried away, I just wish I could let all this go.The Master said 23.6>2. 2 to me represents accepting, go with the flow, being receptive like Earth. It's transparent, and I got the same hexagram when asking "What's to do now?" , nevertheless I would like to dig deeper here, and to read other people's opinions.What about 23.6Do you think you can give me an advice for that line?I am sorry I can't offer a deeper explanation. I wish if someone could advice me what to ask in this case, that would be helpful too.Thank you with all my heart for reading me.
 
D

diamanda

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Hi lucuma,

23.6 > 2 is a combination I've thought about a lot over the years. It always seems to come up for me when something ends... but things do not actually totally end.

My conclusion about it (so far) is this.

The line describes the end of the time of harvest. Something like an orchard owner, hiring a lot of seasonal staff to harvest his/her orchard. At the end of harvest time, some fruit is kept aside, so that its seeds will start off next season's planting. The orchard owner is carried away on his/her rich sedan chair. The seasonal/temporary staff destroy their temporary orchard huts/dwellings, because they're going to work elsewhere.

I've seen this line consistently come up at the end of relationships or at the end of jobs (both for myself, and on posts here on this forum). In your case too, there was an ending... but not a total ending. The seeds still exist. New life springs forward. Life goes on. Sad though this is, it's an undeniable truth.

Please give me a message from D

Life goes on. I wish I could say something else, something more cheerful, to alleviate your pain... but can't find anything honestly cheerful to say.

Honour the dead, but at the same time please look after the living. This includes your self.
Please take care, hope you feel better soon!
 

Olga Super Star

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My conclusion about it (so far) is this.

The line describes the end of the time of harvest. Something like an orchard owner, hiring a lot of seasonal staff to harvest his/her orchard. At the end of harvest time, some fruit is kept aside, so that its seeds will start off next season's planting. The orchard owner is carried away on his/her rich sedan chair. The seasonal/temporary staff destroy their temporary orchard huts/dwellings, because they're going to work elsewhere.
!

I see it the opposite.
I see it that you risk destroying your house and everything if you don’t move on to something else but try to fix and make this work.

This can t work because it s a ripe fruit who is so high that no one can get it so it can t be eaten.

So you have to move on. Get a carriage and go somewhere else. You can t have what you long for.

But don t panic. The fruit you can t reach is ripe and will soon fall o to the ground and ripen something else.

As I have learnt it to be, Lucuma, you have two options here: be a small man, insisting and doing a mess, or be the noble one, get a carriage and move on

Something you won t be able to enjoy and is bound to fall from the tree. You won t eat it but it will come back into a new form.

Take care :hug:
 
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Trojina

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But the pain stills lacerates me often. I feel I am not over mourning. I miss D. so much. I love my family, but sometimes I wish I am not here anymore. In these years I have tried therapy, alternative healing, writing, meditating -everything I could think of to learn to accept and let go.Today I felt like I could sleep forever. The pain is unbearable.I asked the Master "Please give me a message from D."I don't know if one is supposed to ask such questions. I just need to talk to him one more time. An explanation. His death was so sudden and sad, like an accident, I could not say goodbye.He was a beautiful, caring, respectful human being. One of a kind.I know I have responsabilities now and I cannot get carried away, I just wish I could let all this go.The Master said 23.6>2. 2 to me represents accepting, go with the flow, being receptive like Earth. It's transparent, and I got the same hexagram when asking "What's to do now?" , nevertheless I would like to dig deeper here, and to read other people's opinions.What about 23.6Do you think you can give me an advice for that line?I am sorry I can't offer a deeper explanation. I wish if someone could advice me what to ask in this case, that would be helpful too.Thank you with all my heart for reading me.


Well if Yi is asking your question totally directly then I guess you can take the answer as the message from D !

so if D's message is this

'A ripe fruit not eaten.
Noble one gets a cart,
Small people strip their huts.'

...what is he saying ? My overwhelming impression is he assures you that what happened to him was inevitable, nothing wrong happened, he died when he was meant to die. I say this because we are in hexagram 23 where erosion is not possible to circumvent. If you read the text of 23 there's advice on how to handle such times, not through resistance but acceptance. My sense with this answer is D fully accepted/accepts this life was over for him and he was ready to move on. For you, for all who loved him it can only sound absurd to say a 23 year old's time had come and yet I do think there are souls destined to be only a short time in this world. Strange as it may sound his death may even be a great gift for you because possibly it takes you to a depth of experience and emotion few will know at your age.

Let's look at the line again as D's message

'A ripe fruit not eaten.
Noble one gets a cart,
Small people strip their huts.'

In this line small changes and adaptations aren't enough. Can't recall who, maybe Hilary said that it's no use by the end of 23 when the stripping is complete to just try and carry on as usual, that would be like redecorating a house instead of moving when you need to move. Well D is the noble one here who gets the cart to move on beyond this life. For spiritual reasons we cannot know this big transition, his death, was his means to move forward, to evolve. I feel the ripe fruit to be his soul, his core, that cannot die. Even while you feel your separation is absolute it isn't, there is still part of him connected to you and it always will be.

It's a strange question, one I have not seen here before because you asking Yi to act as a medium for D, to pass a message on from D. I feel because of your sincerity you have one, you have a message which first of all I think assures you it was D's time to leave and also that his soul is not perished, only on a different level or wavelength if you like. Also part of his soul, your time together, lives on within you.

I could be wrong for it is a strange thing for me to aim to interpret a message to you via Yi via D.

Hexagram 2 as relating shows the return of his being. When we die it is as if we are received back into the earth, no resistance. So if he did accept his transition so to speak and it was his time to move on then it was even more special that you got to share his brief time here and that you and he share an eternal link which I believe you do. So I think you could help yourself in your pain maybe by not resisting this bond to him you still have. It's a spiritual bond so you are not being unfaithful to your current partner if you still connect in your heart to D. Also I think personally you can still connect with D on a spiritual level and there may be times you feel him close by.

I don't know what your beliefs are so you have to take or leave what I've said according to what is true for you.

On another level if this isn't a direct message from him but advice to you, well I think it still says what I said above. Resist this less. You can allow him to fully go, fully leave you because the fruit, the core of what he is , what your relationship was, is really still there with you. He is stripped of his body, his name who he was here on earth (23) but he is not stripped of his essential soul (fruit) and that is the part that you can connect with naturally now and then, perhaps in dreams perhaps in sudden images of him in your mind. What is more what he left you with could be nourishing to others. If he made your heart more open, you experienced his beauty, all that influences how you are with other people now he's gone.

So I don't think you need to try to push him out of your head, that will only create pain and resistance. Allow yourself to think of him but also take this message of 23.6 that he is noble one moving on and moving on at the right time even though very young. I think maybe part of the pain for you is the suddenness of it, the feeling of it being the wrong thing to happen, something you just can't process. In that respect I feel this answer does suggest you can be at peace with this.
 

lucuma

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I have always felt that he was the noble one, the Chun Tzu at the top of 23, trusting his fate, trying to look further the "inferior men"'s concerns. When he passed away among his few things I found a little notebook that I haven't seen before and it really impressed me, I read in his drawings and poems the way he was feeling during that last year, like he had a foot here and the other in anlther dimension. He had written about sudden visions, strange dreams, and his philosophy on life and death. I understand what you say Trojina. I've tried to believe it was his time and that he had to illuminate himself. In these years I could understand that he is in peace with his destiny. That he got this special carriage delivering him to another dimension, leaving behind an uneaten fruit -our plans together, everything we wanted to create and to live together. Only the inferior people would strip away their huts, suffering, crying, denying this fact of nature. It's just that being so close, emotions were and are still overwhelming. Not only sadness but also guilt. (How didn't I see it coming? Why didn't I pay enough attention? Why didn't I get home on time?). I think this hexagram tells about death and how we deal with it during our time here. It's not easy to look at it with a temped spirit. We are not educated to welcome it, and fear it. But what D. showed me is that Death can be a good master. It forced me to look at my own death, and by that I could really see my own life. Yes, it exposed me to a situation of deep reflection and it touched everyone's life even that of people not very close to him. I just don't feel I am over the pain. I know I have to move on sometime. But i won't fight it. If this is his message so I see that the ripe fruit could be our connection that is not lost. He may be in another wavelength, yes... connected to me through this part of us that cannot die and emerges in dreams and visions. Coming back to Earth, our mother -from dust to dust. I don't think I am ready to let go his traces in this world though, in this the fifth year from his death I got back to our neighborhood for the first time, walking through the streets we walked so much, looking at the trees and houses we liked. I went to our old house and looked at it from the outside, I don't know who lives there now.. I sat on our favorite bench and had so many memories of him coming to me I had to write them down. I remember his disregard to material things. His true belief that we should take care of our Earth and try to feed ourselves without cruelty. He talking to me about unconditional love: acceptance. Being stronger together. Love for all beings. So yes.. probably through pain my heart opened :) :,) Maybe it's all part of the process. Maybe I needed to open this, to share it, this strange knowledge with other people. Maybe he is the chun tzu being transported to a better place and I need to stop thinking as an inferior person.. i know that if it wasn't for your reading I would have thought much more darker of this line and hexagram. Trojina I appreciate your words so much. You don't know how much they mean to me, though you can probably imagine. I appreciate you also had the sensitivity to not to judge me for the way I formuled my question. I will try to live beyond sadness to this humble knowledge.
 

Trojina

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. It's just that being so close, emotions were and are still overwhelming. Not only sadness but also guilt. (How didn't I see it coming? Why didn't I pay enough attention? Why didn't I get home on time?).

Remember this only happened in 2013, not very long ago at all. You have had very little time to process losing him and you also made a major life transition in that time, falling in love again and having a child. When one is young, I'm assuming you are around D's age so you are only still in your twenties maybe, 5 years can seem a long time. For me, aged 57, 2013 was just yesterday. You almost haven't had time, what with moving and having a baby to catch up with yourself to catch up with your feelings around his death but now you are in a relatively stable life situation you maybe have the space to do the grieving you need to do so you get these intense periods of grief. Those guilt feelings of 'why didn't I' are thoughts I think almost everyone has on losing a loved one and I associate them more with early stages of bereavement, I think they tend to fade out as time passes as one accepts that person was going to pass on at that time whatever we did and that it's okay. There can be no place for guilt on your part and I think when you have had a bit more time to process things these guilt feelings will change and be replaced by treasuring memories and the love that was/still is part of those memories.

I just don't feel I am over the pain. I know I have to move on sometime. But i won't fight it. If this is his message so I see that the ripe fruit could be our connection that is not lost. He may be in another wavelength, yes... connected to me through this part of us that cannot die and emerges in dreams and visions.

You have moved on in a very significant way in this short time and I'm sure he'd be so pleased to see you are with someone and have a baby, but as I said I think your feelings, how you process the grief, is only just catching up with you. You have been very busy by the sound of it.

Quoting from your first post

I felt devastated and cried for weeks.I didn't know how to carry on with my life so I followed my parents advice. I took a job offer, left our house and moved with a friend.It was a quick process and I felt empty, but I accepted what life brought

It sounds quite rushed, a lot happened just after his death and it sounds like it was for the best but you can't rush the feelings out of the way. Be patient with yourself and allow time to do it's thing.

Coming back to Earth, our mother -from dust to dust. I don't think I am ready to let go his traces in this world though, in this the fifth year from his death I got back to our neighborhood for the first time, walking through the streets we walked so much, looking at the trees and houses we liked. I went to our old house and looked at it from the outside, I don't know who lives there now.. I sat on our favorite bench and had so many memories of him coming to me I had to write them down. I remember his disregard to material things.

That sounds possibly like something you needed to do, it's the kind of thing that allows you to process the grief.

His true belief that we should take care of our Earth and try to feed ourselves without cruelty. He talking to me about unconditional love: acceptance. Being stronger together. Love for all beings. So yes.. probably through pain my heart opened :) :,) Maybe it's all part of the process. Maybe I needed to open this, to share it, this strange knowledge with other people. Maybe he is the chun tzu being transported to a better place and I need to stop thinking as an inferior person
..

I don't think you are thinking as an inferior person, I think you've done amazingly well in moving forward in life but feelings are stubborn things, they won't just go away on command as you know they take time to work through your system.

Because you said this in your first post

I feel I am not over mourning. I miss D. so much. I love my family, but sometimes I wish I am not here anymore.

I wondered if maybe you would benefit in seeing a grief counsellor for a few sessions. If there are times you wish you weren't here then it's affecting you very much still and you might need a specialist in bereavement counselling to talk to.


In any case I think it's good you speak to others about it whether here or to a counsellor. Take care of yourself :hug:
 

rosada

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Message from D.

"The potential life the two of us might have had together did not take root.
I was drawn away to another world.
You were left behind to dismantle our dream.

In time, we all return to Mother Earth."

I am so sorry for your loss.
Rosada
 

ernobe

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You got a life lesson from the Yi. The undoing of 23 is necessary for the capacity for new beginnings of 2.
 

lucuma

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Can I ask "Why?" now?( ( I thank everyone who took the time to reply here. I'm taking the time to read carefully. Your words are much appreciated ) )
 

ernobe

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Can I ask "Why?" now?( ( I thank everyone who took the time to reply here. I'm taking the time to read carefully. Your words are much appreciated ) )

Not why it happened, but more like what you can do to send a message to D. Or, what you can do to make him happy and successful in his new life. His first answer applies to life everywhere, here and beyond. Whenever there is harmony among the elements, life ensues. Death is simply dissolution, estrangement, it is not a complete annihilation.
So you can ask how you can stay more connected with him, what thoughts and actions will draw you closer.
 

lucuma

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So you have to move on. Get a carriage and go somewhere else. You can t have what you long for.But don t panic. The fruit you can t reach is ripe and will soon fall o to the ground and ripen something else.As I have learnt it to be, Lucuma, you have two options here: be a small man, insisting and doing a mess, or be the noble one, get a carriage and move on
I've been reading the text of this hexagram from various sources and I understand your point. This resonates within me because I always tend to question myself. So, being a noble man would be to learn what I haven't learn from this experience yet, "illuminate" myself and let go. That's a very wise thing to do. I will try to correct my fails -be more conscious in my present life, but also I will try to honor my own path and not to add guilt or burdens to my process of grief. Thank you so much for your words.
 

Olga Super Star

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Ah, maybe I didn t express myself in the best of ways!
I meant to say that when I got this line I experienced it as a sort of go ahead and don t try to look back and get that fruit you were not able to eat.. So in my view you are the noble Lucuma getting onto a carriage and leave. If you don t, if you keep longering that fruit, you will be miserable.

But then came Trokina s interpretation of your boyfriend actually being the noble one leaving on a carriage, which also could apply.
Maybe they both apply.

You should be so happy about the fact that you did meet such a person in your life! It doesn t happen to everyone for sure

Take care
Olga

*longering = a mix of longing and lingering? :rolleyes:
It sounds as a perfect word to me!
 

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