Hi Everyone,
Please help me interpret this convo I had with IC and paint the picture for me. I feel the oracle is truly speaking to me especially if IC and tarot have pretty consistent and similar responses. I am still missing it - there's still something that I don't know or intuit. What was this all about?! Anyone have similar experiences? Since our breakup (https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...Hold-it-Together!-!-Hexagram-8-1-2-4-5-gt-54) I've really been trying to figure out what this relationship/connection is trying to teach me. No other relationship/connection has ever been this intense – not even my 12 year relationship with my ex-husband. Even though we’re in separate spaces, I still feel the connection and him somehow trying to come up with a solution to reunite. It’s so complicated as to how we can get back what we lost, but I’m not really holding my breath. I’m at peace somewhat in surrender and starting to realize that we both are recognizing our shadows in each other that causes us do the push and pull dance. It’s so painful, but I have to pinpoint what that is so I can release it. Can you please help me put these puzzles together so I can step back and look at the big picture. I’m deep in the woods here, or not seeing the forest for the trees, as they say.

Who is Nx to me? 20UC : Contemplation.
This is so abstract and confusing to me – ya, I been thinking a lot alright! Interesting side note is that the tarot reading a few weeks ago said that this is a spiritual relationship. IDK what that means, but yes, he came into my life during a brand new situation/transformation for me – I became a mom and got divorced in the same year. Trying to Synchronistic The Fool came up first for me in that reading.

So I asked IC to clarify –
What am I not seeing about the situation with Nx? 24UC : Return – still vague. . Is IC referring to the push and pull thing we got going on and it will always be like this? Like he is a pattern? How do I get out of this loop? How can we make it so there is no need to return? How about we just stay? Why does it have to be like this?So I asked to clarify – again –

Return to what? – 50.1.4.5>9 : The Cauldron in Small Restraint – something’s cooking in a crock pot or slow cooker??

Is that good for me? 57.6>48: Penetrating the Well?
I loose myself (battleax, wits) yet source of nourishment from what’s cooking in the cauldron or crock pot?

What’s the connection like between Nx and I right now? 36.1>15 :
hide your love away + being real.

How does Nx feel about me? 26.6>11 : Taming Power in Heaven – like he’s in a pressure cooker and releasing it to heaven. Give it to god. In Tarot – I was presenting to him as High Priestess – doesn’t know what to do with me so he has stopped trying to control the outcome. Not out of care, but out of plain not knowing.

Are Nx and I better off split apart? 30uc : another one of those abstract unchanging lines. Does Clarity or clinging me no in this case? Am I being too clingy? Codependent?

Are Nx and I better off together? 64.1>19: Approach Before Completion: Kind of shows process of pull and push. Is IC saying we will always be in the approach stage before we finish anything?

What is your diagnosis of Nx & I? 5.3.5>19: Waiting patiently for an approach? Who’s coming? or is it me? Please help me. I’m lost. I’m figuring out my place and trying to figure out who this man is to me and why has he flipped my world upside down? Is this a twin flame that will come back til we resolve some sort of obstacles? His last words in the email still haunt me about the universe will have us meet again.

Hi thisisbliss,

I formated the post for you.
(This makes it easier for people to view and help.)

May I suggest that you have plenty of material to work with here,
and that it might help not to ask any more questions at this time.
(Until you comprehend these answers.)

Sit tight, people will surely respond.

I'll start off with this one.
"Are Nx and I better off split apart? 30uc"
30 unchanging can mean something like,
"Now, you are seeing clearly."
Or, yes you are seeing clearly that you are better off not together.

Thank you for your response, Moss Elk! I second guessed the meaning of 30 UC bc different translations have different names for it like "clinging fire" tied to a lot of versions. And I thought, what if it meant I needed to cling to this.Special thanks for formatting it. It looked like it was formatted but when I hit post, it showed up all squished and single spaced. I tried to edit, but the lil circle just kept on spinning and the page never loaded. Sincerest gratitude for the time you spent on the reading and formatting.

Hi thisisbliss,

In my experience, your answers sound like:

Who is Nx to me? 20UC
Someone you look up to.

What am I not seeing about the situation with Nx? 24UC
That the situation is easy-come easy-go for him (so, not intense like it is for you).

Return to what? – 50.1.4.5>9
A new sexual relationship (50.1) is messed up totally (50.4), then the woman starts making all the moves (50.5). The result is lots of emotional 'games' between the two, but no sex.

Is that good for me? 57.6>48
In my experience, this combo describes someone who only when he/she loses absolutely everything else, turns to the 'well'. A bit like someone loses their income, and then they turn to their savings to see them through. So, how good does that sound for you?

How does Nx feel about me? 26.6>11
He feels totally free to move in any direction that pleases him.

What’s the connection like between Nx and I right now? 36.1>15
Someone is leaving, and is sad for a few days only (??).

Are Nx and I better off split apart? 30uc
Yes. Each should look after their own self.

Are Nx and I better off together? 64.1>19
There could be sex between you, but it won't result in a long-term relationship I'm afraid.

What is your diagnosis of Nx & I? 5.3.5>19
After waiting in the mud (tears?), there will be some good times between you, but 19 is not a great future outcome, sorry to say :-/

Am just an onlooker but it’s amazing the insight here .

Thank you for taking the time to share your interpretations and experiences, Diamanda. I'm like Youthful Folly coming out the gate/courtyard. No idea what is going on in the dating scene and just leaped without looking. I think most of your readings resonate but a couple of them still leave me scratching my head. Like the Cauldron and The Well.

The Cauldron

Return to what? – 50.1.4.5>9 A new sexual relationship (50.1) is messed up totally (50.4), then the woman starts making all the moves (50.5). The result is lots of emotional 'games' between the two, but no sex. It's hard for me to make the connection between The Cauldron and "a new sexual relationship." Ours was more spiritual than sexual so I don't think that's what I'd be "returning" to per se.

The Well + Penetration

Is that good for me? 57.6>48 In my experience, this combo describes someone who only when he/she loses absolutely everything else, turns to the 'well'. A bit like someone loses their income, and then they turn to their savings to see them through. So, how good does that sound for you? Sounds like survival mode and hopefully my instincts have let me out alive! 57.6 in my readings says something about losing an axe and 48.6 says the well is clean and uncovered, or sincere. Doesn't hurt to go into the Well during difficult times like losing income, but you have to find the source that nourishes and resolve to make it through the rough patch. Right? Did I just answer my own question? I'm getting closer.

Sidebar question: How do you format posts? I've noticed the HTML formatting is off for some reason and my replies aren't formatted the way I type it out. I just figured out the BB Code List, but is there an easier way?

thisisbliss said:

How do you format posts?

Click to expand...

Before you click 'submit post' ,
click 'go advanced', then click 'preview post'. This will show exactly how the post will look. You can enter spaces and lines between paragraphs, then click 'preview' again before submitting.

Return to what? – 50.1.4.5>9 A new sexual relationship (50.1) is messed up totally (50.4), then the woman starts making all the moves (50.5). The result is lots of emotional 'games' between the two, but no sex.
It's hard for me to make the connection between The Cauldron and "a new sexual relationship." Ours was more spiritual than sexual so I don't think that's what I'd be "returning" to per se.

Click to expand...

This question ("return to what") was referring to your previous question ("what am I not seeing").
You are not seeing that he's really easy-come easy-go about it.
The only "return" is (unfortunately) back to being single (9 = no partner).

The cauldron is a metaphor for woman, and for 'cooking' something new.
In many languages 'cooking' can allude to pregnancy (as in, "buns in the oven").
50.1 in particular speaks extremely clearly about a sexual relationship.
'Rain' is a metaphor for sex, so 'no rain' means no sex (no partner, nothing tangible).
Hence, from the 'fertility' of 50, we go to the 'no rain' of 9 - hope this makes sense now.

Is that good for me? 57.6>48
In my experience, this combo describes someone who only when he/she loses absolutely everything else, turns to the 'well'. A bit like someone loses their income, and then they turn to their savings to see them through. So, how good does that sound for you?
Sounds like survival mode and hopefully my instincts have let me out alive! 57.6 in my readings says something about losing an axe and 48.6 says the well is clean and uncovered, or sincere. Doesn't hurt to go into the Well during difficult times like losing income, but you have to find the source that nourishes and resolve to make it through the rough patch. Right? Did I just answer my own question? I'm getting closer.

Click to expand...

This question refers to your previous, "return to what".
So, to catch the thread, return to being single. "Is that good for me?", you ask.
It could both mean rely upon yourself, or, that he might come back to you when he's run out of others...

hex 50 + sexuality

Wow, I didn't know about "rain" being a metaphor for sex or referred to a woman in hex 50. Thank you so much for that info, Diamanda. This is why this forum is so helpful. Now I smell what's cooking in The Cauldron! Anyhoo, what you say about no sex and an effed up situation is a possibility in hex 50.1.4.5, then it's not something I'd want to return to. I'm very idealistic when it comes to love and spirituality and it must harmonize within me. So what's the point of complete intimacy in a relationship if that is a dysfunctional aspect and emotional games are played?! I don't play games - it's too draining. I want what we once had - and I'm afraid we may never have that again. It's so sad this connection is lost because this isn't how it was supposed to turn out with Nx. Was it!? le.sigh.

I’ve been in these situations and truly I have found the only place to go is inside the cauldron or well Yourself . Wanting love outside never happens till you feel love inside . It’s so difficult though at times as it’s so easy to just want the warm feelings that you describe when first meeting .yet it seems to me that Yi has given incredible insight here ..

I’ve been in these situations and truly I have found the only place to go is inside the cauldron or well Yourself . Wanting love outside never happens till you feel love inside . It’s so difficult though at times as it’s so easy to just want the warm feelings that you describe when first meeting .yet it seems to me that Yi has given incredible insight here ..

You're so right, Hepzibah. I'd also like to add that this has taught me to honor my inner truth and find my inner strength to move on. I can't say the temptation isn't tremendously strong to get back together, but I have to figure this out on my own. I know I have a lot of love to give but it shouldn't deplete me or feel draining. That love needs to be directed towards me. Maybe that will open up the space for love that is uncomplicated - without the push and pull.In your experience, have you ever been able to work it out with your partner? I have some hope that we can someday, but the wounds are too fresh. Being on my own is giving me more peace of mind and clarity.

Hello thisisbliss , for me there’s always something to work on but one thing I have clearly noticed : if I am beginning to ‘obsess’ or think a lot about a person who is not returning a similar vibration then I take that as a sign that a great gaping hole inside is looking to be fillled ..and only I can do that . Yi talks a lot about presence / being in the present moment /going with the flow. When I am in that flow everything is good ...

grateful + abundant

All I can do is go with the flow - with tremendous gratitude. I'm actually quite happy in other aspects of my life which is truly abundant. It's hard being a single mom, but I'm lucky I have it really good. I'm grateful for my loving parents who help me raise my 2 yr old son (who shows me what true, joyful, unconditional love is) so I can work fulltime, we're (parents and I) building a brand new house in a good school system which will be done in March, I have a successful career where I earn more than enough without getting ANY child support from my ex-husband (not so great aspect that the ex isn't paying but it keeps him away which gives me priceless peace of mind), I have a great circle of friends who support me, love me, and who really knows me.

It's just a shame Nx is emotionally unavailable and we cannot communicate well with each other. We get to this level of closeness - and then shuts me out. That's a huge thing for me bc my ex-husband was an alcoholic and was emotionally unavailable as well. I want a partner who doesn't/won't withdraw. Aside from that, Nx has all of the qualities I look for now in a partner which is kindness, spirituality, creativity, style, and good education.. I know we both want to be part of each other's lives but not being able to communicate is frustrating. I think I may have thrown in the towel too early, but I had to go with my instincts. I was the one who asked for space and he's respecting my wishes. I don't know how he feels about me breaking up a few days before Xmas and also a couple weeks from his 50th bday. May never know as it feels like we may never see each other again but on the other side of the coin - I also feel a certainty that we will by circumstances beyond our control.