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New reading related to the thread "Any insights on this"

Mru_17

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Hello,Regarding a thread I started about relationship problems entitled "Any insights on this" I did a new reading with the following background:My relationship with X is currently at somewhat of a standstill regarding communication. The relationship has potential as discussed in the other thread and now I would like to set up an easy "coffee date" with X to ask about some business info. It would be an attempt to re-connect with him in the hopes of potentialy planting the seed for further communication with, obviously, the hope of us eventually finding out way back together. My question was: What is a likely outcome of setting up a coffee appointment next week with X?I received Hexagram 46.4 changing to 32.I took this as positive and that a good seed can be planted for further communication. Did I interpret this correctly? Thank you.
 
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diamanda

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Hi,

What is a likely outcome of setting up a coffee appointment next week with X?
46.4 > 32

This is an auspicious cast. It describes a large sacrifice which brings longevity. A coffee date is not exactly a large sacrifice though. So I wonder if you need to offer a lot more to him, if you want to convince him to get back with you.

I just read your other thread, and the question that persistently popped to mind was this:
What would he ideally like me to do towards him?
Can you ask that, if you feel inclined?
 

Mru_17

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Hi,What is a likely outcome of setting up a coffee appointment next week with X?46.4 > 32This is an auspicious cast. It describes a large sacrifice which brings longevity. A coffee date is not exactly a large sacrifice though. So I wonder if you need to offer a lot more to him, if you want to convince him to get back with you.I just read your other thread, and the question that persistently popped to mind was this:What would he ideally like me to do towards him?Can you ask that, if you feel inclined?
Hi Diamanda,I took your suggestion and asked:What would X ideally like me to do towards him?I received hexagram 53.3.5 changing to 23The lines made me nervous and stripping away does to...but I’m not an expert Thanks so much
 

equinox

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He wants you to take care for yourself (line 3) and having patience (line 5).

23 doesn't have to make you nervous in this context. I received it often, when I had to renew my way of thinking/ acting profoundly. It may be painful, but the process is inevitable and will change things for the better, if you surrender to it.
 

Mru_17

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He wants you to take care for yourself (line 3) and having patience (line 5).23 doesn't have to make you nervous in this context. I received it often, when I had to renew my way of thinking/ acting profoundly. It may be painful, but the process is inevitable and will change things for the better, if you surrender to it.
Thank you Equinox,I most definitely am. Doing many things which do me good! I’m feeling it is time to open contact with him and am wondering if a simple meeting over coffee is enough...
 

equinox

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Why shouldn't it be enough? A coffee date is a good start for anything. And hex 53 'gradual development' is talking about taking small steps, being patient etc.
 

equinox

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and now I would like to set up an easy "coffee date" with X to ask about some business info. It would be an attempt to re-connect with him in the hopes of potentialy planting the seed for further communication with, obviously, the hope of us eventually finding out way back together.

Btw I would be careful to mix up business requests and private issues, not that he thinks you want to manipulate him. Either you declare it as a business meetup -- and then you also should treat it as a business meetup, maybe you can have a look how the vibes between you two are, but don't expect more. Or you ask him to meet you privately. In my opinion.
 

Mru_17

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Thank you for your opinion! I think for now it is best to keep it business to get a look at the vibes...
 

Mru_17

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So I’ve thought about it and will keep it private because I think the business touch does look manipulative, however I will still leave it at coffee since I think more would overwhelm him! Diamanda, what do you think of the reading you suggested I make?
 

Mru_17

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Guys, I am panicking here...a friend just told me at lunch that he thinks I am stupid for asking and that I should let it go. I also wrote X some friendly banter to open up the possibility to ask him for the coffee. I had asked him a question about a car Monday and got no reply. When I queried “what is a likely outcome of asking X about the car again?” I received 12.3.4.5.6 changing to 15. When I asked “what is a likely outcome of having asked X again about the car?” I got 14.3 to 38...
 

Mru_17

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Guys, I am panicking here...a friend just told me at lunch that he thinks I am stupid for asking and that I should let it go. I also wrote X some friendly banter to open up the possibility to ask him for the coffee. I had asked him a question about a car Monday and got no reply. When I queried “what is a likely outcome of asking X about the car again?” I received 12.3.4.5.6 changing to 15. When I asked “what is a likely outcome of having asked X again about the car?” I got 14.3 to 38...
I'm becoming a certifiable nut case . X replied...had started the reply yesterday and wasn't finished with it so didn't send it till today. It was friendly enough. I need to learn to breathe through the fear...as it is said in German "Fear is a bad companion". Also Equinox has admonished me several times to just trust the process...I will keep everyone up to date if I ask for that coffee date...
 
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diamanda

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what is a likely outcome of asking X about the car again? 12.3.4.5.6 > 15
Because of resulting 15, this showed a nice decent outcome. Glad to hear he replied!

what is a likely outcome of having asked X again about the car? 14.3 > 38
One of two people has a lot to offer, and the other doesn't, and they're very different.
No idea what this means in this case...

What would X ideally like me to do towards him? 53.3.5 > 23
This is quite a bizarre and complicated answer.
The central problem seems to be a stopped pregnancy, or, an ex partner.

53.3 speaks of a pregnancy which goes wrong, then 53.5 says that three years later the woman conceives again. The lines do not describe any action on the part of the woman - it sounds like a matter of luck. The only action mentioned is fighting off robbers, i.e. preventing any further misfortune happening. In 53.3 also a separation is mentioned - the husband leaves and never comes back. The woman marries again in 53.5, but it's not mentioned with who.
23 describes a split, so because of this I'd say that in 53.5 the woman is with another man.

He seems to have a severe issue about a stopped pregnancy or an ex.
So it's not a matter of you doing something towards him, it's a matter of you doing something about the whole issue described. Hidden line 20.5 speaks of examining oneself and one's life.

I don't know the details of your relationship - can you see anything in these clues?


PS - nevermind about what your friend said, you're the only person who knows your relationship better than anyone. It's easy for third parties to say 'oh you're silly, just leave it'. I've seen the same people who say that doing exactly the same motions when they're in emotional trouble themselves.

And I'll agree with Equinox: I'm not sure if just a coffee is what is needed here. I hope you'll be able to solve the above puzzle!
 

Mru_17

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What I can tell you Diamanda is that X was the trigger for me leaving my husband. The husband and I finally divorced in November after X had already decided to break up. With the husband I had 5 miscarriages....after the "dream" of a family was off the table, my ex husband and I became more and more distanced. Then I met X and eventually left. X was always jealous of my ex husband and I told him about the miscarriages but in the end, the split was for a different reason. I learned lots of bad strategies from my parents - manipulation, force, and the like. When I left the security of my marriage and moved in with X and did not like something he did, I would threaten to leave...this is eventually what did us he. X told me a couple of times that his love hasn't just disappeared but that his problem is that he resents me for what I did and has a hard time trusting. And yes, I am really working on myself with therapy. Now I'm just hoping I can have another chance with X....
 
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diamanda

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Thanks for the details Mru! Do you think that X would like to have children with you?
 

Mru_17

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Hi Diamanda, we talked about it and he said if it happened it would be nice but that it wasn’t a specific goal of his he thinks he needs to feel fulfilled...
 

Mru_17

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Hi Diamanda, we talked about it and he said if it happened it would be nice but that it wasn’t a specific goal of his he thinks he needs to feel fulfilled...
I do not know what it is about today and why I feel more impatient than usual. I just saw X at work. I do not think he saw me but he still has not responded to my last entry in the business chat that became a friendly one. Feel free to give me criticism since I know I am a bit needy. Anyway, so I asked: What is a likely reason X is taking so long to respond to my messages? And I got 41.1.6 changing to 7I do not know what to make of this other than X is busy and I am pushing???I also asked What would be the likely outcome of sending X the other car picture today?...this is because he is a huge car fan and I want to send him another picture I took of a car I think he would like. I got 55.1.3 changing to 16. This seems positive to me and that perhaps I should do it...
 
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diamanda

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Feel free to give me criticism since I know I am a bit needy.
You're not needy, you're just in love.

What is a likely reason X is taking so long to respond to my messages? 41.1.6 > 7
You suddenly stopped augmenting his ego so now there's a sort of a war between you.

What would be the likely outcome of sending X the other car picture today? 55.1.3 > 16

A temporary affair causes a relationship to be broken, and then there's deceit... (16) or a picture (16).

You know, it sounds like there were/are very serious problems between you two.
A business chat, and a coffee, and a picture, aren't going to solve those issues.
Have you thought about speaking sincerely with him about resolving those issues?
How important is it to you to have children? And how would you feel if he had an affair?
 

Mru_17

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You're not needy, you're just in love.What is a likely reason X is taking so long to respond to my messages? 41.1.6 > 7You suddenly stopped augmenting his ego so now there's a sort of a war between you.What would be the likely outcome of sending X the other car picture today? 55.1.3 > 16A temporary affair causes a relationship to be broken, and then there's deceit... (16) or a picture (16).You know, it sounds like there were/are very serious problems between you two.A business chat, and a coffee, and a picture, aren't going to solve those issues.Have you thought about speaking sincerely with him about resolving those issues?How important is it to you to have children? And how would you feel if he had an affair?
If he had an affair I would be devastated! Why???
 

Mru_17

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Does this say he had one??? I would love to have children would him but I’m 43 and had 5 miscarriages!
 

Mru_17

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Please someone answer this so I can sleep tonight! Equinox?
 
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diamanda

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Even if he had an affair (not sure as your question was different) it ended very shortly.

The issue with the children seems to be a serious one for him. Your previous marriage fell apart because of this. Maybe he's worried that this is your primary goal (and as you said it's not his).

I really feel for you, and I understand you feel pain, however you need to think calmly of what exactly you want with him, and what is realistically possible. Find the problem, decide what your limits are, and once you know that speak with him. Remember that reading, 46.4 > 32? Maybe that's the huge sacrifice you'd need to make to be with him. Forego the idea of having children, or at least don't be so hot on it? Just a thought. In any case, you'll need to sacrifice a lot (and clearly show that) if you'd want to get back together. It all depends on what is more important to you. Please don't panic - think, and see what you want your future to look like.
 
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diamanda

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PS - have you medically investigated why you had the miscarriages? I mean, therapy is good for some people, however a pregnancy sounds like the core of all your problems. Maybe if you sort that out your life will start falling into place again.
 

Mru_17

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Sorry for being so short...I was walking with my phone....my ex husband and I tried everything but he also as a robertsonian translocation which probably contributed....does the affair mean X doesn't love me or want this anymore?
 
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diamanda

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IF he had an affair, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Countless men have (short) affairs and they still want to remain with the 'wife'.
 

equinox

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Please someone answer this so I can sleep tonight! Equinox?

Okay, since you address me directly... I have a different interpretation style than diamanda, therefore I can hardly connect to this conversation of you two about affairs and miscarriages. Diamanda is interpretating line 3 of 53 very literal, but of course you can also read this metaphorical. I think the most important message in line 53.3 is that you really have to take care for yourself and to protect yourself from harmful impacts.
55.1 is talking about a very short relationship, this you can read as an affair as diamanda did, I personally would have read it as a intense but short meeting between you two.

I already wrote a lot about what I think in your other thread and also in this thread, if you want my opinion, than please go back to my answers and read them again, I didn't change my mind.

And please do yourself a favour and stop being so obsessive about this story and instead be nice to yourself.
I think you should take a break of asking the I-Ching and instead learn to interprete the already received answers by yourself a bit. Work with the first answers you received, I am talking about the results you got before you started to ask about every little thought and interaction regarding this guy which is pointless and even dangerous for your wellbeing.
 
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Mru_17

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Thank you both for your answers and your patience. I appreciate it. I'm going to call it a night and stop bugging you nice people here with my panic mode. Many many thanks
 

equinox

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Thank you both for your answers and your patience. I appreciate it. I'm going to call it a night and stop bugging you nice people here with my panic mode. Many many thanks

You are welcome. I guess the 'panic mode' is less a problem for me or anybody else here than for yourself. I hope you can sleep well. Good night.
 

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