Hi guys

So I have been living with my dad for 18 months now. I moved in because I didn't have any other options after ending a long term relationship while I was getting my degree. Much has changed for the better since then. I got my degree, found a job I love doing, got my drivers licence, bought a car (so proud, I am 38, waited so long with scary big steps). I feel like my time with my dad is coming to an end. We are alike, 2 people who both need lots of space. I am grateful for the break he has given me but it's time to get back on my own two feet again. Also, I am starting to feel a bit suffocated at times around my dad.

If I stay here I can keep on saving so I can make a decent start for myself. Living alone is a pricy business.
On the other hand I really feel suffocated and my dad is not always an easy man to live with. I could move out and start over without savings. At least I would be living on my own terms again. I could use some perspective about the matter. So I asked Yi

Please show the best possible solution for my housing situation? Hex 26 uc

Is Yi telling me to keep on building up my resources? Or is it telling me to 'not eat at home' and 'cross the great river'? Move out? Fully experience my own life again?

Does anyone else have experience with this unchanging uc on a matter like this? :bows:

Refer to Hex 62 uc.

Your reading tells me that you will make the best decision you can based on your resources, and that you enjoy the structure your dad provides for you. Your dad seems to be unable to see the significance of your bond. Maybe letting him know that he is your friend is a way to move forward.

Dancingfox,

It sounds like if you move out you may be in a jam with resources however if you stay, you may feel too much aggression or anger towards your dad. What is the best option and solution that will hurt your pockets and mentality/insanity the least? Be stressed about money is never fun but neither is having your dad hovering you constantly. It's a mixed kinda feeling; you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. How about trying to have some conversations with your dad and let him know how much you appreciate and love him; especially in times of need. Sometimes parents just need a little re-assurance of love and appreciation and they may stay of your hair for a while longer. Since you have your DL now, perhaps plan some fun outside activities with your dad (like hiking or going to the beach or something that will give you a nice breathe of fresh air while spending some quality time with him and nature) This way you'll keep your dad happy and save money while having some family fun. Just a thought

Hi Lookaloud, Shaptershare

Making the best decision I can based on my resources, yes I can see how 26 UC applies to my question.

My dad and me have a wonderful bond, he knows how I feel about him. We have our moments We often go swimming or hiking together. We haven't done any of that lately because of the tension between us. It's just not working out under the same roof. I am not going insane or feel aggression towards my own dad (yet ). There is nothing that dramatic about my situation. I just feel restrained because I long for my own space again. I am trying to make a sensible decision but realize that this probably entails staying under my dad's roof a while longer.

My dad is a bit of a recluse and prefers to spend his days outdoors, or meditating or doing yoga. He can't handle much conversation and the TV is turned of after seven PM so he can read a book. It all sounds very enlightened but he doesn't appreciate my company. Believe me, I am a social, very adaptable person. I really really tried to share his space with him, but he doesn't know how to share or appreciate company in general. It just enervates him. I am constricted to my bedroom as a living space, it's the only privacy I have. After 18 months of this I feel fed up. He really does need his space. He will probably be able to appreciate the significance of our bond better once I have moved out.

If he enjoy meditating perhaps you can start meditating with him. Actually if you meditate more, his actions or inactions wouldn’t bother you as much. Overall I say stay w him, work on bettering the bond, save money and then move when you have more resources.

Be grateful that you have a dad to hang out w

Chaptershare said:

If he enjoy meditating perhaps you can start meditating with him. Actually if you meditate more, his actions or inactions wouldn’t bother you as much. Overall I say stay w him, work on bettering the bond, save money and then move when you have more resources.

Be grateful that you have a dad to hang out w

Click to expand...

Dear Chaptershare

We have been meditating together since I was six years. Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with our connection. We hike, swim, talk and meditate together. We enjoy these activities together, we just don't enjoy living under the same roof. That is where the friction rises. My dad loves me but he longs for his space, even if he doesn't say it, I can feel it because of the bond we share.

Also, I thought I made it abundantely clear that I love my dad and I am grateful for the bond we share. If you would take the time to really read my post and replies, you might have read that I was asking for an interpretation of the hex. You really are making a lot of wrong assumptions. I never asked for your personal advice and certainly not for your assumptions about my connection with my dad.

Dancingfox,

Wasn’t trying to make any assumptions. You asked what 26 uc could possibly mean; perhaps you’ve answered your own question.

I’m sorry for intruding, next time I’ll know better.

I read this before on an ichingblog regarding hex 26, perhaps it will help.

“Am I fully prepared for action here? Am I ready to move?
Is my character aligned with my intentions?
What purpose do I bring to this action?
Is my focus clear; am I sufficiently self-disciplined -- are any potentially dangerous impulses under moderate restraint?
Have I mobilized all the resources I need?
Do I have the will to act?”

Chaptershare

That does help. Sorry if the tone of my previous reply was a bit angry. I felt like I had to defend or perhaps justify myself towards you about my connection with my dad. It has been a sour spot for a while now and my main reason for wanting to move out. If the relationship with my dad would be more agreeable I wouldn't hesitate to stay until I have enough resources to move out.

Hi fox
Did you move out!
I Wonder how you saw 26 in the end

Hi Olga

Yes I did about a year later in 2019. It has been a challenge financially. First years I did have the income to afford my monthly costs and I was even saving a little. Then last year I decided to chase a dream and went back to school. The cost of the studies is pretty high so I have been a resource jam lately. It is one of the reasons why I recently decided to move back in with my dad. We took a couple of months time to talk about what went wrong last time and we think we can make it work this time. Despite the resource jam I have a lot more going for me in life. I am no longer in crisis like last time when I moved in with my dad, when it wasn't a choice. Instead I am on a path that finally feels right for me and we will both benefit from living together.

So looking back at @chaptershares suggestions to answer these questions in 2018

“Am I fully prepared for action here? Am I ready to move?
Is my character aligned with my intentions?
What purpose do I bring to this action?
Is my focus clear; am I sufficiently self-disciplined -- are any potentially dangerous impulses under moderate restraint?
Have I mobilized all the resources I need?
Do I have the will to act?”

Click to expand...

When I look at these questions now I can honestly say that I have purpose, my focus is clear, there is self-discipline and I feel aligned with my intentions. I am ready for this action and funnily enough right now this means going full circle and move back in with dad until I graduate and afford my own place & practice.

Life can be funny like that!

So 26UN was maybe a suggestion to wait a bit till the time was right? Perhaps!
Glad you are following your dreams. I am back at my Mother's too, after 25 years I am hearing of many after the pandemics.