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33.2.4.5.6 >46. How do I find better friendships

honeyy

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Hello,
Could anyone offer insight into this cast as Im not sure what it is saying? That I should retreat from trying to build/form healthier friendships? Im new at this so please comment any interpretations.
Blessings to all
 

moss elk

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hi honeyy,

The thing about our associations is,
there is only so much room in our lives (and hours in a day) for them.

The reading says Gradual Retreat from inferior people. By distancing yourself from inferior people, you make room for the good ones to have a place. So, now you have to do the work of recognizing Who or What Yi was referring to.

Write down the names of the people that motivated you to consider seeking better friends. Then write down the qualities and characteristics of those people that you dislike. Then you'll learn to recognize the qualities you want to avoid in the future. (this may or may not require self examination to see if you yourself have those same qualities.)

Best of luck.
M.E.
 

honeyy

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Hello Moss, and thank you for replying. I want to try and clarify my question. I draw to me alot of 'broken' people, whether mental health, down n outs etc, as I have alot of compassion for those suffering, and would like to help where I can.
This though, has led to a life long pattern of being used, manipulated etc. I have a hard time balancing kindness & being non-judgemental with wisdom to discern.
What Im hoping to draw to me are friends/teachers that I can learn from as opposed to my habitual response to try and comfort/help the people suffering.

Your advice of "By distancing yourself from inferior people, you make room for the good ones to have a place." is good and something I know need to do, but again goes against my inner beliefs of helping where I can.
How do I discern who to help and who not?
 

moss elk

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I draw to me alot of 'broken' people, whether mental health, down n outs etc, as I have alot of compassion for those suffering, and would like to help where I can. This though, has led to a life long pattern of being used, manipulated etc. I have a hard time balancing kindness & being non-judgemental with wisdom to discern.

What Im hoping to draw to me are friends/teachers that I can learn from as opposed to my habitual response to try and comfort/help the people suffering.

Your advice of "By distancing yourself from inferior people, you make room for the good ones to have a place." is good and something I know need to do, but again goes against my inner beliefs of helping where I can.
How do I discern who to help and who not?

There is a giant myth floating around the minds of people.
Let's call it the Myth of non-judging.
Judgement is an act of Wisdom.
One may have sympathy for a Tiger,
but you don't invite them into your home.
Think about this for a moment:
The particular manner which you are trying to manifest/create compassion with (reducing anothers suffering) is actually creating more suffering in the world
1st: you didn't 'fix' them, and you yourself are suffering.
You must ask yourself, 'what is the cost to me for doing this?'

Do you already work in some helping field?
(work where you can be of service to people, and let them go at the end of the day.)
Psychologists don't marry their patients, you know.

I hear people say, 'when a good and bad dog bind together, only two things can happen: the bad dog goes good, ot the good dog goes bad.' This is also a Myth.
What is most likely to happen is that the good dog gets used and abused by the bad dog. Bad dogs require someone 'over' them to teach and correct them, where possible.

You must also be kind to yourself.
And never factor that out of your equation.

I like this quote from Bradford Hatcher, 'And never forget that the greater good includes you.'
 
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honeyy

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Thank you Moss. This was good advice. Things have improved since this post, and I seem to have alot more people in my life that are of a much more positive influence. My stronger mindset gets exercised daily and this is being reflected in what I am drawing to me (and more importantly, what I move away from!) Thank you:hug:
 

rosada

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I just wanted to comment that I think it is very interesting how quickly honey's experience changed after she consulted the I Ching. Here she had a life long problem of giving her power away to people and causes to her own detriment and now in just a matter of weeks since posting her question and the response she is seeing real improvement. I have experienced this too how I can have been chewing on a problem over and over and then after consulting the I Ching - Poof! The problem dissolves - even if I didn't particularly do anything or even understand the meaning of the hexagrams.
Love you I Ching!
 

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