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I've been seeing a man with female friend relationships...set a boundary?

devidao

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The question was "What will happen if I set a boundary with M regarding conduct?"I got 36 Brightness Hidden to 24 ReturningI don't feel completely comfortable with what is happening. I am also just getting out of a long and serious relationship that resulted in me having a beautiful child. I want to set a boundary, but many readings tell me to be still. Or talk about the path of non-action. I don't fully understand. This reading. Can someone help?Thanks!
 

equinox

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Did I get you right that you are dating this man, who has female friends and you want him to stop seeing them?
 

devidao

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Not exactly, I feel like there are boundary issues. Not that he's acting inappropriately, but maybe that he keeps women around due to insecurity or as backup options type of thing.
 

equinox

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As you already assumed, there is nothing you can do right now.
Maybe you can change the dynamics of the relationship in setting boundaries inwardly, for yourself:
Retreat in a friendly but firm way, if he treats you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. This can never do any harm.
 

devidao

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Well, I asked about cutting it off with him as well, and I received the hexagram 49 Revolution, unchanging. Any thoughts?
 

mulberry

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In 36.3, you've identified the source of the problem (the "great chief of the darkness" is "captured") but are cautioned not to try to force everything to be corrected all at once because it won't work ("hasty steadfastness not possible"). I think this is saying to you that you're right, his thing with keeping other female friends around is "off" or not entirely innocent—or else, if it is innocent, it's still the problem because it's a pattern of behavior that's just not going to be compatible with what you want in a relationship.

I think this is saying that though you may have identified the issue, setting a boundary is going to be hard. Changing this issue isn't going to be quick or simple.

49 unchanging suggests cutting it off with him would bring you back into harmony with your life and need for trust, truthfulness, and balance, or would at least enable this version of your relationship with him, which is not working 100%, to dissipate and another to emerge (if that's going to happen).

"Radical change.
On your own day, there is truth.
Creating success from the source, harvest in constancy.
Regrets vanish."

Here's a thread of 49 unchanging experiences: https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?16314-Experience-with-unchanging-hex-49UC
 
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