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Interpreting a Dream 12.4.5 to 23

Wondering

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Question: How does my dream shed light on our interaction?
I would very much appreciate any insight- as stripping away can be read in myriad ways. Here's the background:

In real life, I had a chance meeting with an important curator. She had already been looking at a collaborative project that I had done- in order to curate the work into a specific show. In our chance encounter I described another project that I was working on independently(beginning stages) and she invited me to show her some work from this project. This was vulnerable for me- the project is very near to my heart- but an exciting opportunity. I sent her links and written information about the project. She acknowledged initial receipt of my email, but never responded anything about the work.

Several months have passed. I feel that I exposed myself unfortunately by sharing the work prematurely- as if it shows my inexperience. Last night I went to sleep asking, why did she never respond?

Here's the DREAM:

I dreamed of an encounter with her in an apt.like place- It was almost like we were making out and then she vomited all over the floor. It was embarrassing and strange for both of us (there is no sexual attraction in real life so I take this metaphorically as a crossing of boundaries). She had to leave quickly to attend to a social/work gathering. I moved to clean up the mess. Later I saw her in a larger room that had other people, and it wasn't that awkward but more distant.

I'm not sure if I should read this cast as stripping away of the association with her altogether, or if it is a removal of the blockage in the communication. It's possible that the reading is telling me- forget about her- pick yourself up and move on with your enthusiasm to continue your project. Any thoughts?
 
D

diamanda

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Both your dream, and the cast, are quite 'telling'.
This is not a good association for you.

Look elsewhere for what you want, this woman simply can't give you what you're after.
Good luck and fingers crossed for you!
 

Wondering

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Thank you Diamonda, for your interpretation. I am disturbed by all of it- because I do respect this woman. She is conservative and has integrity- she has a radar for expressions that embody value. She is also a high profile professional employef with a major institution- someone whom I would look to for encouragement and esteem. So to dismiss with her is very confusing.

I asked, what is it about her (or association with her) that isn’t good for me, and I received 20.1 to 42- I assume this refers to me looking at her as a child would? As someone who is all powerful and can grant me my wish? But maybe also it is pointing to her myopia? (Since I am a photography based artist)- As LiSe would say, “seeing goes farther than the eyes.” And maybe she cannot see me- my seeing/my value. And to be really out there, (because dreams are this way- and prompt association)- I wonder if it has something to do with her identification with a certain perspective- a very male- centered one and maybe even toxic for her (in the dream she is first drawn to me the alternative and then vomiting with no responsibility for clean up- instead dashing off to her professional appointment). And maybe I don’t need to clean up this identification for her- or seek her out for support- she’s with the photo studs (the dudes, and their dude preening ideas). Maybe I need to find other support- maybe even for something that hasn’t been born into paradigm.
 

Wondering

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Thank you Diamonda, for your interpretation. I am disturbed by all of it- because I do respect this woman. She is conservative and has integrity- she has a radar for expressions that embody value. She is also a high profile professional employef with a major institution- someone whom I would look to for encouragement and esteem. So to dismiss with her is very confusing.

I asked, what is it about her (or association with her) that isn’t good for me, and I received 20.1 to 42- I assume this refers to me looking at her as a child would? As someone who is all powerful and can grant me my wish? But maybe also it is pointing to her myopia? (Since I am a photography based artist)- As LiSe would say, “seeing goes farther than the eyes.” And maybe she cannot see me- my seeing/my value. And to be really out there, (because dreams are this way- and prompt association)- I wonder if it has something to do with her identification with a certain perspective- a very male- centered one and maybe even toxic for her (in the dream she is first drawn to me the alternative and then vomiting with no responsibility for clean up- instead dashing off to her professional appointment). And maybe I don’t need to clean up this identification for her- or seek her out for support- she’s with the photo studs (the dudes, and their dude preening ideas). Maybe I need to find other support- maybe even for something that hasn’t been born into paradigm.
 
D

diamanda

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what is it about her (or association with her) that isn't good for me
20.1 > 42

I totally agree with your interpretation, you're seeing this in an inexperienced way.

You say about her:
  • an important curator
  • is conservative and has integrity
  • has a radar for expressions that embody value
  • a high profile professional employer

You say about yourself:
  • I was working on independently(beginning stages)
  • This was vulnerable for me
  • the project is very near to my heart
  • an exciting opportunity
  • I exposed myself

Can you see how different your point of view is from hers?
You say she's "someone whom I would look to for encouragement and esteem".
It doesn't sound to me that she functions that way.
She's a professional who is after professional and monetary value.
You're looking for something else than she has to give you.

Look again at your dream:
  • we were making out and then she vomited
  • She had to leave quickly to attend to a social/work gathering.
  • I moved to clean up the mess.
  • I saw her in a larger room that had other people
It's quite clear, no?
 

Wondering

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For some reason the software won't allow me to delete the duplicated response earlier-

Yes, all these points are clear Diamanda. Thank you.

But she knew when she invited me to show work, that it was in early stages. I'm looking for the kind of validation that her position could provide- and someone in her position does function in this way at times- even with a simple- "Thanks for sharing your progress- Best wishes."

I get it that she doesn't have it to give- in my case. I don't think that it means my work doesn't have potential in terms of professional or monetary value. You could say also, that she represents an aspect of myself that is rejecting something toxic that she represents- and this is probably most true. The dream and the casting are both worth ruminating. There are many emotional factors wrapped into it.
 

equinox

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To me it looks like you take this woman way too serious.
I guess you should get rid of the idea that everything stands and falls by her approval of your work. I think it's right now not so important if she sees your 'value', as you wrote. You tried and she didn't react for whichoever reason, so either the time was not ripe to be acknowledged by her or it is not necessary anyways. You will find support anways.
 

equinox

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And btw I think we also should not forget that people don't react on mails for various reasons. Some professionals have a very unprofessional handling of their correspondences.
 

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