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Question: What would X ideally like me to do towards him? 54.1.3.4 to 46

miruggi

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Hello everyone,I started a thread awhile ago in which I discussed a relationship. Here's the thread original thread and the updated thread: https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?25568-Any-insights-on-this&highlight=mru_17 https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...y-insights-on-this-quot&highlight=mru_17After X broke up with me last September I got the following after asking what is a possible outcome of the breakup - 61.2 to 42.I just asked the following and kindly ask for help on the interpretation. We are still not together. Communication is better but still sporadic. What I asked was "Would would X ideally like me to do towards him?" I got 54.1.3.4 changing to 46.Many thanks!
 

equinox

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I think that if he wants anything right now, then something like a more or less loose liaison. But he knows that this wouldn't be right so he may decide to postpone the whole love matter with the prospect to engage in a 'better' relationship later. (edit: I don't know if the relationship itself is the problem or the timing.) This could be with you or with someone else, I can't see this from your result. Anyhow he doesn't seem to be very decisive right now.
BUT: I don't know if the I-Ching is really speaking from his perspective. It could well talk about you.
 
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Mru_17

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Thank you Equinox. It could be referring to me since I do feel that if we were to get back together tomorrow, I could slip into old patterns. On the other hand, I visited a Medium about a month ago. It was very loving and helpful. What came out is basically "dass er gerade Raum für sich sucht"...so he is looking for space for himself but that he wants to see progress from me in my issues and that the love is still there. What she did also say is that "er hat einen Blick auf jemand"...how to translate that is tough but he has a curiosity for someone else. Is there another question you would suggest asking Yi?
 

equinox

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Is there another question you would suggest asking Yi?

No, sorry. I would suggest you to not ask the Yi until something new happens between you two.
I know it is very hard but I think the best for you right now would be to learn to trust in love, to trust that you two will be back together, if it should be like that. I mean you did everything you could for this relationship, if I got you right. Now it's his turn. Give it some time and don't just passively wait for him. Life is so short, please enjoy it as much as you can -- with or without him .
:hug:
 

equinox

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Changed my mind ;)

If you want to ask the Yi then I would suggest to ask a question that helps you connecting with your wishes and needs and not with his. Something like:

What can I do right now in order to find back to myself and to enjoy my life.
 

Mru_17

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Changed my mind ;)If you want to ask the Yi then I would suggest to askWhat can I do right now in order to find back to myself and to enjoy my life.
So, I asked this:What can I do right now in order to find back to myself and to enjoy my life.I received 41.2 changing to 27Thanks for your support and hug
 

equinox

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Hello Mru_17

41.2 --> Wilhelm says:

He who throws himself away in order to do the bidding of a superior diminishes his own position without thereby giving lasting benefit to the other. This is wrong. To render true service of lasting value to another, one must serve him without relinquishing oneself


The Yi is quite clear here. It is quite obvious that you shouldn't compromise your dignity respectively your self respect for this relationship (any longer). I think it is important that you put yourself first now. It will be good for both of you. Do whatever nourishes you now.(Hex 27)
 
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Mru_17

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Hello Mru_1741.2 --> Wilhelm says:He who throws himself away in order to do the bidding of a superior diminishes his own position without thereby giving lasting benefit to the other. This is wrong. To render true service of lasting value to another, one must serve him without relinquishing oneselfYou can always ask for opinions and help here in the forum, if you fall into a sort of limbo.
I do feel in limbo due to my lack of trust in God, in X and in myself. My Life hast changes dramatically in the last months. I have built a network of friends, renewed my faith in God and do have the small pleasures. I’ve done A LOT of therapy as well. I understand my boundaries and will structure need to be worked on yet something in the core of me hangs on to this whole thing with X still. I cannot seem to finde the equilibrium between not forgetting him yet letting go and trusting. So this reply here is asking for opinions and help.
 

equinox

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Well, maybe you have to give your self some more time ... it is very great and admirable what you do for yourself in recent times, thank yourself for being that kind to you! You try to enjoy your life and to get over your painful experiences with therapy. These efforts will come to frution one day for sure! Even if it sometimes look like that there is no or only little progress.
Did you ever try loving kindness meditation? I can send you some links and a recommendation for a great free app, if you don't know it already and are interested.

So you asked at the beginning of the thread what the person you love so much would like you to do towards him. Well, it is hard to say, since it is uncertain if the Yi let's us read the mind of third parties.
Just like the buddhists I believe that seperation is an illusion and that we are all connected. So, in any case you can do something that will never harm: You can send him loving thoughts, I am sure he will receive them. (That counts for the sad or angry thoughts as well of course).
These thoughts shouldn't be tied with expectations. I believe this will be good for both of you.
 

miruggi

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There has been a meeting with X since this last post as well as some communication in writing. I would like to ask something again about our potential. Is this advisable?
 
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Freedda

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A question for the person whom posted this query. I'm wondering, are you posting and responding here both as miruggi and Mru_17?

I ask because 'you both' seem to be responding as if you were the ones who asked the question. Thanks for clarifying.
 

Mru_17

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It is one in the same person. I accidentally registered twice. I hope this helps.
 

Mru_17

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Does anyone have any advice about if and what to ask Yi after these last interactions with X?We saw each other and I told him my heart still belongs to him. His reply was that he feels that he has to defend himself against his feelings that I do not see him.
 

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