Recently had a tiff with a lover, we agreed to part ways. It's been about a week since we last spoke, but I get the sense that he wants to reconcile.

Shortly after the fight, he tried to talk to me at work but I was busy and honestly was still hurt about what he said (so I purposely avoided him most of the day). Yesterday he came in again to my workplace, but I was busy with a client and had my office door closed (so we missed each other again). He's supposed to come in again tomorrow.

I asked Iching, what is my position in this situation and got 47UC, which is pretty accurate. I was pretty hurt by what he said during the argument. A few days prior I tried having a frank discussion with him about the future of the relationship and he went on 3 hour tirade vacilating back and forth between him being in love with me (telling all his friends and family about me) and then switching to him being "uncertain" about the future. I responded that if he was unsure, it was best to just part and leave it at that.

When I asked what his position was in this situation I got 28UC. Does this mean he is at his "breaking point" where he will open up to me and tell me how he really feels? During the 3 hour talk last week he mentioned being fearful of getting close to me due to bad experiences with women in the past. What are your experiences with 28UC?

Many thanks

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I asked Iching, what is my position in this situation and got 47UC, which is pretty accurate. I was pretty hurt by what he said during the argument. A few days prior I tried having a frank discussion with him about the future of the relationship and he went on 3 hour tirade vacilating back and forth between him being in love with me (telling all his friends and family about me) and then switching to him being "uncertain" about the future. I responded that if he was unsure, it was best to just part and leave it at that.

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Well Done.

When I asked what his position was in this situation I got 28UC. Does this mean he is at his "breaking point" where he will open up to me and tell me how he really feels? During the 3 hour talk last week he mentioned being fearful of getting close to me due to bad experiences with women in the past. What are your experiences with 28UC?

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Well there's a thread for everyone's experiences with unchanging hexagrams and here is the one for 28uc

https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/fri...eriences-with-Unchanging-Castings-hexagram-28

If it is about him then he is going to feel the need to move one way or the other. I think the line about him being afraid to get close to you due to past experiences with women is so ancient, so hackneyed, such a cliché, I wonder that it's a line that is still even being used as a serious way. It's a classic and it is of course utter nonsense. You aren't other women, he isn't Pavlov's dog totally conditioned by past experience. You cannot dangle on the end of a string waiting to see if he will overcome his fear and commit to you, you need to know because life is short.


If it is about him then yes it could be he is at 'breaking point' unable to withstand the emotional pressure he's under so he's either going to walk or 'cave in', though of course it's not a power play.


I say 'if' it's about him as Yi can sidestep the question and if it were about you then 28uc might be advise to just get clear of the whole thing because it's a burden on you. So I don't know which way it will go I'm afraid but it would seem that it must 'come to a head' one way or the other.

28 uc indicates that he feels the situation as it stands is too much for him to bear. It may be that he's coming to you for an indication of what to do, whether he's aware of that or not. Sounds like he could use some help dealing w/past fears.

Quick update, he ended up breaking down a few weeks later and brought me flowers to apologize, but did not mention in concrete terms that he wanted to get back together. He continues to say he misses me but won't put in the effort to actually ask me to be his girlfriend etc. It just feels like he wants me to make the first move, as even now months later I still feel "47UC". I'm exhausted by the whole situation and tired of the back and forth

Thanks so much for updating your threads!

You're welcome! Thank you for the reminder