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H17.5>51: Following Shock 2x, 2 separate relationships/questions = rel patterns?

thisisbliss

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Happy Full Moon, Clarity!

A lot of major life changes over these last few years and I feel like the dust is starting to settle. Just sold, bought, and moved into a new house a few months ago with my son and parents 2 yrs after my divorce. My baby daddy barely talks nor has seen our baby boy (well almost 3yo) in almost 2 yrs. We were together for 12+ yrs but our son wasn't born until the very end of our marriage. Anyhooo, I basically don't even know him anymore like I thought I did and started asking myself what that relationship was all about. How did I lose my best friend to barely talking?? We split bc I didn't want to raise our son while his alcoholism in full effect and I was drowning in misery. I asked Yi too and gave me:

17.5>51 Following shock Changing only this line creates Hexagram 51 - Chen / The Arousing (Shock, Thunder). Following a leader who inspires and lives up to expectations creates good fortune for both the follower and the leader being followed. Legge says "... the ruler sincere in fostering all that is excellent" Good call, YEEZ! - I get it - I know how this movie ends! I followed (17) this boy to another city/state and committed, leaped without looking (Line 5), because we were so blindly in love. It was a sure thing. Undeniable. Lots of belssings came out of it like my son and my career. But not without a lot of pain and loss at the end (51).

Fast forward to me tryna date again - and breaking up twice with a "not a robber" Hex 22.4 guy, I discovered with the help of Yi that I have a fear of abandonment making me unavailable to commit. Or just be vulnerable without being cold, aloof, defensive, or oppositional H38.6. It's been kinda painful to lose this connection even though it was me who broke things off and I asked how/why did this relationship with Nx change me?

17.5>51 Following shock I can't put my finger on this answer even though I understood it in the other toss about my exH. I put up with so much more bullsheeet and longer than I did in my relationship with Hex 22.4 (Nx). Why following shock? Or was I chasing disaster in this relationship? This is where I'm requesting your thoughts on what this line means. It says auspicious, and I guess so, but it's still not clear to me. Or is the Yi telling me I'm seeking out the same kind of relationships still? The more things change the more things stay the same? I'd be grateful for your time and efforts to help me understand.

blissfully yours!
 

Trojina

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My baby daddy barely talks nor has seen our baby boy (well almost 3yo) in almost 2 yrs. We were together for 12+ yrs but our son wasn't born until the very end of our marriage. Anyhooo, I basically don't even know him anymore like I thought I did and started asking myself what that relationship was all about. How did I lose my best friend to barely talking?? We split bc I didn't want to raise our son while his alcoholism in full effect and I was drowning in misery. I asked Yi too and gave me:

17.5>51 Following shock Changing only this line creates Hexagram 51 - Chen / The Arousing (Shock, Thunder). Following a leader who inspires and lives up to expectations creates good fortune for both the follower and the leader being followed. Legge says "... the ruler sincere in fostering all that is excellent" Good call, YEEZ! - I get it - I know how this movie ends! I followed (17) this boy to another city/state and committed, leaped without looking (Line 5), because we were so blindly in love. It was a sure thing. Undeniable. Lots of belssings came out of it like my son and my career. But not without a lot of pain and loss at the end (51).


Whatever happened it wasn't a mistake it seems. You followed the highest calling of your heart with faith. If later he didn't measure up to that that doesn't diminish what is was/is. It may be over now, in worldly terms, the bond broken in earthly terms but what your heart went towards can't fail you.


51 as the relating hexagram is not 'the end'. I will post a link about relating hexagram in readings.

Here
https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/answers/2013/06/01/the-old-resulting-hexagram-conundrum/

Fast forward to me tryna date again - and breaking up twice with a "not a robber" Hex 22.4 guy, I discovered with the help of Yi that I have a fear of abandonment making me unavailable to commit. Or just be vulnerable without being cold, aloof, defensive, or oppositional H38.6. It's been kinda painful to lose this connection even though it was me who broke things off and I asked how/why did this relationship with Nx change me?

17.5>51 Following shock I can't put my finger on this answer even though I understood it in the other toss about my exH. I put up with so much more bullsheeet and longer than I did in my relationship with Hex 22.4 (Nx). Why following shock? Or was I chasing disaster in this relationship? This is where I'm requesting your thoughts on what this line means. It says auspicious, and I guess so, but it's still not clear to me. Or is the Yi telling me I'm seeking out the same kind of relationships still? The more things change the more things stay the same? I'd be grateful for your time and efforts to help me understand.

Same as I said before. What you follow or put faith in in these relationships is in a sense beyond the individuals themselves, you are following your highest impulse, your highest ideal of love.


So you had 17.5 twice. Hmm one thing I don't think the answer is pointing at is failures on your part, quite the contrary as I'd think these answers show you offer a very pure high kind of love to give. You follow the highest impulse of your heart. Does this mean people won't let you down or disappoint you ? No, doesn't look like it. But when they do let you down I don't think the place to look is at your own shortcomings, not with this cast.


I think Yi is saying there is good fortune simply because you follow your highest standards. Hilary's translation is


'True and confident in excellence.
Good fortune.'



Thinking of it this way - suppose a parent is the best most loving parent they can be and everything they do is for the highest good of the child. Suppose when the child grows up they treat the parent with disdain, don't visit them, neglect them. That doesn't mean the parent following the highest impulses of their heart was wrong, and in wider terms there is still good fortune as in broader spiritual terms there can be nothing but good fortune coming from this even though the adult child never even sends a Xmas card.

I think this answer is encouragement to go on following the highest standards of your heart just as you have been.


As for why line 5 is 17's shock is open to interpretation...not sure but I don't see 51 as the result of doing 17.5. Rather I think the experience of shock is somehow intrinsic to 17.5 but that is not the same as shock as a result of 17.5.

I recommend reading the Blog I linked to. Really readings will make a helluva a lot more sense when you drop the idea that the relating hexagram is 'the future' or 'the result'.

Thinking of 17.5 and 51 I looked in WikiWing. Hilary has written

17 zhi Hexagram 51, Shock. A way of managing the experience of repeated storms and quakes with a single intention, single chalice to hold to



So she is seeing it as the purpose and devotion in line 5 is a way to not drop that chalice in 51.


Interesting as I have come across your experience with 17.5 a number of times. People who followed their highest impulse in love and were let down. To me it seems Yi is saying this is still good fortune.


Good fortune in the broader sense may be way more far reaching than how person X responds to us. I guess we have the habit these days of thinking if someone treats us bad we must have gone wrong somewhere. That isn't always the case, it isn't the case here.

I've just written a general entry about 17.5 in wiki because I see similarities between what has happened to you and what has happened to others with this line. I added I saw this line as following a star with faith. Regardless of the shocks and upheavals met when following that star one continues on, the faith isn't lost. I think it even transcends particular relationships as it's the highest ideal for love one is following hence 'good fortune'.
 
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thisisbliss

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Thank you so much, Trojina. It took me a few days to let it all sink in. You're so intuitive and well-studied on YC. Part of me wondered if you knew me already. Truly grateful that you put a lot of input on my question and how you've experienced it or seen it played out IRL so I can apply it to mine. Amazed when I think about how Yeeez is our link to the meta and is communicating thru it to help us cope with such deep earthly experiences, situations, emotions, and thoughts. This forum is so great because people are able to share their similar experiences to collectively help define/interpret the meanings together.

Interesting as I have come across your experience with 17.5 a number of times. People who followed their highest impulse in love and were let down. To me it seems Yi is saying this is still good fortune...

I've just written a general entry about 17.5 in wiki because I see similarities between what has happened to you and what has happened to others with this line. I added I saw this line as following a star with faith. Regardless of the shocks and upheavals met when following that star one continues on, the faith isn't lost. I think it even transcends particular relationships as it's the highest ideal for love one is following hence 'good fortune'.


I appreciate you reminding me about the relating hex. in readings. Made me think about the 51 > Shock for me in context of my exH, was loving someone through addiction, seeing their condition worsen, not wanting to get help when it’s given, al-anon, rehab, therapy, codependency, blahty blaahhhh. And yes effed up as that sounds – there were tremendously very happy times there too. There was a looong stint when he was sober and it was amazing! The good outweighed the bad – until he couldn’t keep it together and I was with child with absolutely no help from him. Nevertheless, it wasn’t all bad – like the lines in Shock describe a jolt – haha. The relationship was a roller coaster but I know now that the love we had was rare. Our son is a token of that. I can boldly say that for me it my highest ideal for love. Definitely not a mistake.


The H51 Shock with Nx wasn’t the same context of course, but the intensity of the brief moment we were together definitely changed me..I asked how/why that relationship changed me bc I felt soo lost after I broke up with him. Through these recent life changes these past 4 years, I was just trying my best to adapt to my new situation that was quickly and constantly changing year after year til now. So thanks to your answer, Trojina, I’ve figured out the answer. Yeez’ answer to my question is literally giving me directions – FOLLOW SHOCK. Meeting him wasn’t a mistake at all – glad I did – and it was meant to happen. It reconnected me to who I was before when I was still young and single and carefree. It reconnected me to the I ching actually. (Still have my first hex on and index card- 43 from 14 yrs ago) One of the topics we shared an interest, in addition to Jung, art, Rumi, etc. Being with him reminded me of who I was before, I met my exH (and there were a few similarities that reminded me of my exH – like they both have SAME headboard in different colors – one’s black and one’s white; one was blond was dark?).

Anyways, I had to go my own way because that was the way I was being pulled. Just didn’t feel like I was able to be me – and I wanted to be free from any restraints of a relationship to discover who I am in the here and now. Kinda wanted to go back to the soon to be 25 year bold, confident, naïve me who ‘followed shock’ happily. I have to learn to be vulnerable and in order to that I have to go thru the grieving process of divorce. Now this 30 something lil mama, who suffered major jolts and tremors in recent past, is being reminded that Hex 17.5>51 Following Shock is still going on the right path. Yeez is telling me I still have my direction, my compass is straight. After living thru experience, I know my purpose. I thought I lost myself, but I just needed to slow down and realize that my lil prince is only going to be young this once. I have to be sure to guide him right too. Good Fortune.
 

thisisbliss

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17.5 as directions

Thank you so much, Trojina. It took me a few days to let it all sink in. You're so intuitive and well-studied on YC. Part of me wondered if you knew me already. Truly grateful that you put a lot of input on my question and how you've experienced it or seen it played out IRL so I can apply it to mine. Amazed when I think about how Yeeez is our link to the meta and is communicating thru it to help us cope with such deep earthly experiences, situations, emotions, and thoughts. This forum is so great because people are able to share their similar experiences to collectively help define/interpret the meanings together. Interesting as I have come across your experience with 17.5 a number of times. People who followed their highest impulse in love and were let down. To me it seems Yi is saying this is still good fortune...I've just written a general entry about 17.5 in wiki because I see similarities between what has happened to you and what has happened to others with this line. I added I saw this line as following a star with faith. Regardless of the shocks and upheavals met when following that star one continues on, the faith isn't lost. I think it even transcends particular relationships as it's the highest ideal for love one is following hence 'good fortune'. I appreciate you reminding me about the relating hex. in readings. Made me think about the 51 > Shock for me in context of my exH, was loving someone through addiction, seeing their condition worsen, not wanting to get help when it’s given, al-anon, rehab, therapy, codependency, blahty blaahhhh. And yes effed up as that sounds – there were tremendously very happy times there too. There was a looong stint when he was sober and it was amazing! The good outweighed the bad – until he couldn’t keep it together and I was with child with absolutely no help from him. Nevertheless, it wasn’t all bad – like the lines in Shock describe a jolt – haha. The relationship was a roller coaster but I know now that the love we had was rare. Our son is a token of that. I can boldly say that for me it my highest ideal for love. Definitely not a mistake.The H51 Shock with Nx wasn’t the same context of course, but the intensity of the brief moment we were together definitely changed me..I asked how/why that relationship changed me bc I felt soo lost after I broke up with him. Through these recent life changes these past 4 years, I was just trying my best to adapt to my new situation that was quickly and constantly changing year after year til now. So thanks to your answer, Trojina, I’ve figured out the answer. Yeez’ answer to my question is literally giving me directions – FOLLOW SHOCK. Meeting him wasn’t a mistake at all – glad I did – and it was meant to happen. It reconnected me to who I was before when I was still young and single and carefree. It reconnected me to the I ching actually. (Still have my first hex on and index card- 43 from 14 yrs ago) One of the topics we shared an interest, in addition to Jung, art, Rumi, etc. Being with him reminded me of who I was before, I met my exH (and there were a few similarities that reminded me of my exH – like they both have SAME headboard in different colors – one’s black and one’s white; one was blond was dark?).Anyways, I had to go my own way because that was the way I was being pulled. Just didn’t feel like I was able to be me – and I wanted to be free from any restraints of a relationship to discover who I am in the here and now. Kinda wanted to go back to the soon to be 25 year bold, confident, naïve me who ‘followed shock’ happily. I have to learn to be vulnerable and in order to that I have to go thru the grieving process of divorce. Now this 30 something lil mama, who suffered major jolts and tremors in recent past, is being reminded that Hex 17.5>51 Following Shock is still going on the right path. Yeez is telling me I still have my direction, my compass is straight. After living thru experience, I know my purpose. I thought I lost myself, but I just needed to slow down and realize that my lil prince is only going to be young this once. I have to be sure to guide him right too. Good Fortune.
 

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