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Confusing relationship reading, 57.3.5.6 to 7 and 48.3 to 29

Freya D

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OK now I'm confused. I met a man and got head over heels. I might have scared him of by this because he is afraid of commitment. He told me he is confused and needs time. He also told me not to fall in love with him. And that he was overwhelmed by me and felt love for me. Perhaps this was a lie. His messages are so contradicting that it hurts me.
Now I asked "what can I learn from this meeting?" and got 57.3. 5.6.
I think this is about how I move to fast with the wrong person and lose my intuition.

Then I thought let's get out of this situation with a clear end. Write him that I want to end the contact. I asked IC how this would be for me and got 48.3. This confused me because it could mean that by ending the contact I lose something valuable. Or is this a warning about the overall situation? What is your experience with the way IC communicates?

For now I will totally retreat and take no action. I wanted to stop it so I wont have hope and to avoid being weak if he contacts me.

Help would be greatly appreciated, thanks
 
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Freedda

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Setting the Yi aside for a sec, it seems to me that his messages may not be all that confusing: that he needs time, and perhaps most importantly, to not fall in love with him (e.g. that he is not available).

One key idea of 57 is that of wind or small roots getting into spaces, not by force, but by being adaptive, and maybe sometimes by trial and error. As a complement, Hexagram 7 - the army, the militia, can include the notions of collective force, strength in numbers, making use of allies, etc. and also the knowledge and leadership needed to best make use of these. Where I think this overlaps with 57 is the idea of being adaptable -- where farmers can also become soldiers, just as wind can penetrate crevices, and roots can feel their way into stones.

The lines could be noting a sense of loss -- at least until things change -- and maybe a warning against a hardened, repeated approach, where you're more banging your head against the wall instead of being fluid and adapting. Trial and error is a valid learning approach, assuming that we eventually learn from it, and not just go about bashing our heads and blaming the wall for being hard.

Best, David.
 
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Sun Wukong

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57.3.5.6 might not necessarily be about going fast with the wrong person; maybe just going fast without proper deliberation or overthinking before taking action. That's the gist I got from it.
I think 48.3 does, as you suggested, represent that the relationship is something valuable. The relating figure seems to show the danger in the situation (scaring him off maybe? Not sure), but 29 also shows that sincerity will help in this situation.
Maybe don't give up on him just yet. Perhaps you could ask the Oracle how best to proceed. Or ask what the result would be if you choose to continue with this guy.
Tell us how it goes.
 
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Freedda

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This thread has been repeated, but with different responses. I've reported and hopefully someone can clean it up. D.
 

Freya D

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Thank you all so much! I will update this post. For now he contacts me every day and I leave the initiative with him. I'll focus on myself and give this meeting time to develop and discover what is there.
 

moss elk

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I asked IC how this would be for me and got 48.3

Hi. don't waste your time with this dummy. (or player or married man or whatever he is) You are the well that he does not appreciate. (and he may never appreciate you) At least he was kind enough to tell you upfront not to fall in love with him. Respect yourself.
Don't grovel before him.
 
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Freedda

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Hi. don't waste your time with this dummy .... You are the well that he does not appreciate. (and he may never appreciate you) At least he was kind enough to tell you upfront not to fall in love with him. Respect yourself. Don't grovel ....

Moss Elk, I don't necessarily disagree with you, but I'm curious about your interpretation: what were your thought or intuitive processes here? How did you arrive at your answer, starting with:

The well is cleaned, but no one drinks from it.
This is my heart's sorrow,
For one might draw from it.
If the king were clear-minded,
Good fortune might be enjoyed in common. (Wilhelm)

Best, David
 

moss elk

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I'm curious about your interpretation: what were your thought or intuitive processes here? How did you arrive at your answer

Hi David,
It is alright to disagree with me. :)

I'm not sure that Freya D's question was a particularly helpful one in this situation.
She asked what it would be like. (for an action she has already chosen)
The answer shows the unappreciated well. (she is the well/resource)
And the accompanying sadness.
(I see this line having two parts: the picture and the prescription)

We should not conclude that he is the one she should enlighten of her merits (surely she has already exposed him to her splendors), & because she asked what would it be like to tell him, which is doing the very pattern the line prescribes, (telling the king) with the additional coloring of this is my hearts sorrow vs recieving and there will be rejoicing.
But as there is some disagreement about whether the line refers to a dumb soveriegn (..if the dummy were only enlightened enough to appreciate opposed to if I find the right person to tell about the merits of this well. Gee, both may apply here...)
Perhaps her experience will provide food to settle the debate. (I think it means if only the right person were made aware of this good well and that she should offer her well to someone else. )


I also drew from my life experience where I heard similar words to 'don't fall in love with me' or 'I'll just hurt you' or 'I'm not ready for a commitment' (heard either directly or from another recounting a tale of sorrow) In each instance, taking head of such words is of utmost importance, because there was always a very good reason that someone said them. (they were married or they didn't want a relationship with the person, only sex or they were not psychologically stable)

Does my reasoning bucket hold water?
(& are my brackets excessive?)
:bows:
 
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Freya D

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Hi there, the update as promised.. It was no love but a strange kind of friendship. He is not capable of relationship with me or anyone else but he taught me a lot and kind of coached me to find better men��
 

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