...life can be translucent

Menu

Serious VS Casual: Two Readings

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
Hi everybody!I've cast two readings regarding serious & non-serious relationships in my situation. I want a serious relationship, so maybe it sounds like a waste of time to pursue the casual ones. Iching gave me interesting hints despite all.My first question: Is it good for me now to seek serious relationships? I got hexagram 2 uchanging: the earth.My interpretation: to be open & accepting while having a goal - the serious relationship- in the mind. I shouldn't be forceful & in hurry. To be honest, I'm not optimistic about serious relationships. They seem too stressful, limiting & unnatural. Guys become controlling very soon, which is really smothering. Then there is the secret desire in my heart to share a happy life with someone & stay with them. Paradoxical. I don't see a good perspective now- as I've never seen in my life. We often hear "just be present, enjoy yourself, and the suitable partner shows up". I've been doing this for many years and nothing interesting happened. While I undestand the advice, I don't see any practical guidance here. Then I asked "what about non-serious relationships" & I got hexagram 38 changing to 19. The lines 4 & 6 are changing. 38 is called opposing & you read in the description: "Opposing: small affairs, good fortune".My interpretation: it's good to have small affairs. There will be difference and tension- my difference with others+ my paradoxical mentality: "With an inner state of 'Opposing', you contain mutually contradictory impulses". There would be tension as I want a commited relationship deep down, which can't be gained; still there are benefits in the casual relationships: "How could this tension be creative?"- seems like I could take a creative energy from the small affairs."You might see things not only for what they are, but also for what they mean, as if they were omens". So it's overall good if I'm able to control myself.The line 4 changes: "Opposed, alone.Meet an inspiring man.Joining together in truth and confidence.Danger, no mistake."Having a good relationship with an attractive person after some time of loneliness, and that's not devoid of danger(emotional dependency?).The 6th line signals: "Not robbers at all, but matrimonial allies.(potential for long-term relationship?) Going on meets the rain, and so there is good fortune (fruitful initiative)."Hexagram 19, "Nearing", stands for getting closer, more intimate. It makes sense considering the above changing lines."Reaching an end in the eighth month means a pitfall." One should take the natural course of developement instead of forcing a tangible result.That said, which course is more effective? Serious or casual?Is there any other meaning I failed to grasp? Thanks.
 
D

diamanda

Guest
Is it good for me now to seek serious relationships? 02 uchanging
You're a woman (2 is the Female). Finding a stable partner is nature's way and what is natural is beneficial.

what about non-serious relationships? 38.4.6 > 19
There are benefits of companionship (38.4) and sex (38.6). 19 says that after a few months it will be over, so up to you to decide if this is good for you or not.

We often hear "just be present, enjoy yourself, and the suitable partner shows up". I've been doing this for many years and nothing interesting happened.
I totally agree. I've noticed over and over again that in real life the above statement is simply false.

I want a commited relationship deep down, which can't be gained
How do you know it can't be gained? None of your questions addressed that.
 

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
How do you know it can't be gained? None of your questions addressed that.
Because I got hexagram 2 for my first answer: earth, being passive, being receptive (nothing to be done on my part) and its unchanging lines. 2th hexagram is the most frustrating one in my eyes as I never understand how it can be helpful. I should be "receptive" of what?Whatever happens?? Sound like the "just enjoy yourself ..." phrase. It even doesn't talk about waiting or blockage.
And I hate being passive as is expected of females, but that's another story.
 
D

diamanda

Guest
I see what you mean. Indeed, if your question was "can I find a serious relationship", and your answer was 2 unchanging, I would also tend to think that no. However, your question was is it good for me now to seek serious relationships.

As about females expected to be passive and receptive, yes I also know what you mean. It does sound frustrating. And yet females have so many non-direct ways of attracting males. It's a whole art. Also, 2 does contain even practical advice (e.g. which geographical direction is most beneficial). But again, your question was not "how can I find a serious relationship", your question was if it is good for you.

To sum up, have another careful look at your exact question. If you would like to know how to find a serious relationship, you should do a new cast.
 

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/member.php?3909-diamandadiamanda I cast another reading before reading your late answer, asking "Is there any possibility to form an ENJOYABLE serious relationship for me?" (the ENJOYABLE part is very important, as some controlling, bitter people who want commitment make you really miserable according to my experience). The result: 17.3.4 to 63.
The hexagram 17- Following- talks about going with the flow. I can't interpret: in this moment, I see no current that leads to a serious relationship.
There is changing line 3:
"Bound to the mature man, Letting the small child go. Following, there is quest and gain. Settling with constancy bears fruit."
What that means? That I need to find a mature man & leave the "boys" behind? Admittedly, I don't enjoy the company of mature guys:D.
And there is changing line 4: 'Following makes a catch. Constancy, pitfall. With truth and confidence, holding to the path with clarity, How can this be wrong?'
So there will be something to catch in the flow?
The second hexagram: 63, "Already Across":
'Already across, creating small success.
Constancy bears fruit.
Beginnings, good fortune – endings, chaos.'
So if I have a serious relationship it's likely to end in chaos.
Not so positive in my eyes. What do you think?
 
D

diamanda

Guest
Is there any possibility to form an ENJOYABLE serious relationship for me?
17.3.4 > 63


17.3 speaks about a tall man, or an older man. If you follow him, you will get what you want from him. 17.4, however, says that if you do run after someone, and you 'catch' him, then that will bring misfortune. This person has a lot of other followers it seems... Then the situation described is concluded and finished. Most probably the tall (or older) guy chooses another of his followers.

Does this describe a situation you're already in? If yes, then you can only think about a new enjoyable serious relationship after that's finished. If you're not in any such situation, then you might find yourself in such a situation soon, so take heed and avoid players! (no matter how elderly they are - being older does not mean they are serious).

Finally, 17.4 also says "use brightness / understanding / evidence". Use your common sense, trust the evidence, be clever. I believe the whole answer shows you what the road to an enjoyable serious relationship is not (= it's not the scenario outlined above).
 

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
WOW! In fact there are two guys who can be the tall (older) man.
First is a tall guy I've asked about once in this forum. I fell in love with him last year, he then admitted to having a GF, I cut with him but we sometimes chat. I still have some feelings for him, secretly thinking maybe we could marry someday.
The second is a guy, about a decade older than me, whom I meet time to time & have a crush on. Both seem to have lots of followers.
I then cast "what can I do to have a fulfilling serious relationship?", & I got 10.1.4.6 to 29. Hexagram 10: Treading: 'Treading a tiger's tail.It does not bite people.Creating success.' What does it mean? Going through something that initially sounds dangerous? Is the tiger an outwardly aggressive man who is to be "tamed" to bring blessing in my life? The changing lines also remind me of this. Then there is hexagram 29: Repeating Chasms. Danger after danger. Repeating patterns:duh:. It doesn't sound good at all:confused:
 
Last edited:
D

diamanda

Guest
what can I do to have a fulfilling serious relationship? 10.1.4.6 > 29

I think you've pretty much nailed it. Tip-toeing around a difficult man is never going to work, it will always lead you to the same danger. So stop tip-toeing and be sincere and confident (29).

Also, notice the first wrong step, 10.1. A solitary man - that's no good (it says 'good fortune', for him perhaps, but look where it leads you). If a man is an eternal batchelor then stay away as that's a bad sign.
 

sylvia1ching

visitor
Joined
Sep 26, 2018
Messages
171
Reaction score
15
Maybe the question is...

What will it take from me to have a fulfilling, serious relationship? How do I proceed?

By knowing what it will take from you to create the relationship you want it put the ball in your court. Asking if you can? Well can you? The answer is yes...but will you and what do you need to be aware to create such possibility.
 

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
sylvia1ching, diamanda:
I asked "How do I proceed to have a fulfilling, serious relationship?"
And guess what? I got the exact result I had for my very first question "Is it good for me now to seek serious relationships": Hexagram 2, unchanging.
:)
I don't know what to say.
 

MeltingPot247

visitor
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Messages
245
Reaction score
107
"17.3 speaks about a tall man, or an older man. If you follow him, you will get what you want from him. 17.4, however, says that if you do run after someone, and you 'catch' him, then that will bring misfortune. This person has a lot of other followers it seems... Then the situation described is concluded and finished. Most probably the tall (or older) guy chooses another of his followers."Marybluesky...this quote from Diamanda really stood out for me, especially in the context of you receiving Hexagram 2, twice - as for me being receptive is going with the flow, it is a hexagram I seem to get often and possibly because of my 'go with the flow' personality, so I wondered if you have a similar nature and wondered if you tend to approach all relationships with others in this way even if you sometimes 'think' a more proactive approach would be better? I can relate with the 'older male' scenario like you - totally new thing this year, in my past the guys interested in me were younger by default and all one off flings. Furthermore in your first post you say..."To be honest, I'm not optimistic about serious relationships. They seem too stressful, limiting & unnatural"... so I guess Yi is confirming your preference with 2...for casual rather than serious relationships, and getting 38 opposing to 19 nearing for casual relationships sounds like the way you make your 'intimate' connections with others, in answer to your casual vs serious question, from an outsiders perspective 2 just seems the natural way you do it, as you pulled it again in regards to how you proceed to have a fulfilling serious relationship...I optimistically believe that a 'casual' relationship with a man can be long lasting, serious and mutually beneficial if you don't chase, but have the perspective of always seeing that other person as a friend that you are journeying alongside in life. I believe the older man in my life has a few love interests, but I focus more on the one on one time we have together, and don't worry about the time we are not together as we were both born free individuals, so were you and everyone else in these forums. So I also think that 2 suggests something along these lines. A happy heart, is one that is content with what they already have. As long as you '"have" all of you (yourself) and love yourself completely, you will never need someone else to do that for you...I'm always learning and throwing ideas out there mostly intuitively, so if none of this really makes sense, please let me know. I also wonder if anyone has seen my posts in forum, as I had no replies? :(Thank you for reading and all the best.
 

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
MeltingPot247 thanks for your beautiful comment.
I wondered if you have a similar nature and wondered if you tend to approach all relationships with others in this way even if you sometimes 'think' a more proactive approach would be better?
That's true. I'm not a planning type of person in none of my life's areas. Even if I know what I want- which I do most of the time- I only put myself in the course without any schedule or precise details. I also tend to retreat if the task is overwhelming. As you say, sometimes it's better to be more proactive. For example, if I started to search for the type of guys I want systematically, and persevered for a few years, I could be more satisfied in this point of my life, but ... that's not my nature.
I can relate with the 'older male' scenario like you - totally new thing this year
I, too, have been attracted to (less than a decade, but still) older guys since about one year. I wanted boys my age when I was very young, then started to find younger boys interesting. Ironically, I guessed I could never relate to guys more than 3-4 years my senior two years ago.
I guess Yi is confirming your preference with 2...for casual rather than serious relationships, and getting 38 opposing to 19 nearing for casual relationships sounds like the way you make your 'intimate' connections with others, in answer to your casual vs serious question, from an outsiders perspective 2 just seems the natural way you do it, as you pulled it again in regards to how you proceed to have a fulfilling serious relationship
Wonderful insight, as it's how I felt, and wrote about in my original post. To me, 38 changing to 19 exactly meant my way to a fulfilling serious relationship passed through casual relationship(s). If I put aside a few amazing friendships with the boys, the most comfortable and emotionally intimate relationship I've ever experienced was the casual one with the "tall guy" I mentioned in this forum. It was like the causality -lack of pressure- allowed me & him to be vulnerable. There were problems and tears and heartbreak, but I never wish I hadn't gone through it, as this relationship had a huge positive effect on me: becoming far more connected to people- and the world, the present tense. I felt like something blissful was unlocked in me; like a curtain before my eyes was removed. I'm totally grateful of this relationship, and this guy, even if there's no point in pushing it forward anymore.
I optimistically believe that a 'casual' relationship with a man can be long lasting, serious and mutually beneficial if you don't chase, but have the perspective of always seeing that other person as a friend that you are journeying alongside in life.
I see. That's how the love finds place to be born. The most natural way. And if you finally decide to knot the ties, you do it wholeheartedly, knowing that your companion has been intimate and loyal to you without any external pressure. But admittedly, it could be frustrating at times where I need more assurance about the future.
I'm always learning and throwing ideas out there mostly intuitively, so if none of this really makes sense, please let me know.
Don't worry, that's my way of interpreting the life, too:rolleyes:
I also wonder if anyone has seen my posts in forum, as I had no replies? :(Thank you for reading and all the best.
I've read both of your threads BTW before posting my last one :) I hesitated to make comments as I'm new here and there are more experienced ladies and gentlemen; plus, one of your readings contained hexagram 2 that I've problem interpreting. However I'll try to write my opinion.:eek:
 

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
Hi again

I posted this thread almost 20 days ago. As the questions have a general aspect I can't talk about the results soon.

I, however, cast another reading with a similar theme: "Am I built to marry and have a happy marriage?" (remember that I used to be skeptical about the serious relationships. I wrote that in my previous posts in this thread.)
I got 3.3.4.5 >55

Hex3- Sprouting- is about a difficult beginning where the heaven and earth are connected but nothing is still established & effort is needed to move forward. On the other hand, there is great potential & motivation.

Line 3 says one should stop now as there is no guidance. Line 4 talks about getting help even if you aren't passionate about it, and according to 5th line, constancy brings success only in small matters.

Hex 55- Abundance- shows great resources and choices, but also demands and tasks.

Back to my question, I can say: The potential is there but I should put (too) much effort into fulfilling it. I need help (I have no idea how I can take it) & have to move slowly.

Not a pleasant answer. There is difficulty I'm called to overcome without having any guide.

What do you think about it?
 

Trojina

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
26,921
Reaction score
4,426
I feel the emphasis needs to be placed much more in the now than in the future.


What you're doing is trying to project into a future vision of yourself as the sort of person that gets married/or doesn't and so on and I think line 3 is telling you that's not real, that's not something to orientate yourself by, not a reliable map guide for you.


So right now you need to stop projecting so far and just be right where you are :) which would be less distressing for you as you will get lost if you try to make your life align with some kind of ideal self that isn't you.

I feel the 55, where you are coming from with this also asks you to be here right now where you are without worry. Trusting even that wherever you are it is exactly where you are meant to be. I always find that quite a relaxing thought.
I, however, cast another reading with a similar theme: "Am I built to marry and have a happy marriage?" (remember that I used to be skeptical about the serious relationships. I wrote that in my previous posts in this thread.)
I got 3.3.4.5 >55


I don't think it's an unpleasant answer. As I said line 3 is only saying this measure, this ideal/ideas you have is no guide for you. It's not real, indeed the future isn't even real, we only have now. We do all seem to have a vision of future ideal selves having relationships the way we think they are meant to be and they aren't generally good guides.


But what of 3 in general ? It's so early, nothing is formed yet, there's so much to explore. You can't possibly settle for anything yet. It doesn't matter how old you are Yi is addressing you here as a very new being in this whole area. it is interesting you define your wishes often by referring to your past but actually this answer isn't saying your past made you but that you aren't ready because some part of you is still young, still searching, needing help and guidance. I also think the 55 there shows actually you know the score pretty well.


In line 4 of course there is the search for marriage, nothing fixed as yet but the energy here is on it's way somewhere to find alliance.


In line 5 it's still too early on to make fixed definite ideas about this. The line says only small constancy is possible which means being flexible in goals.



So my sense of this whole answer is it asks you to be looser, not to fixate on yourself as the kind of person who does or doesn't get married. You are still young - and I love how Yi disregards actual age but goes to the stage of one's spirit. So your spirit in regards to marriage is too young to go at it full on and have this very fixed idea about what it could be but it's not a bad answer. Line 4 especially shows good positive energy in pursuit of alliance but not forcing things before they are ready.



I don't know if that's what you want to hear. I think the 55 shows you might feel pulled to making or wanting to make firm decisions now but I feel the 3 and the lines ask you to loosen yourself around the whole area, be 15 again for a while :D


Was it you who said they didn't like kids etc ? If it is then this cast confirms to me that you may feel that way because you are in some way not ready anyway, you need to be you and explore like a growing thing.
 

Trojina

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
26,921
Reaction score
4,426
...also we identify with our bodies so you might for example be a woman of 30 and naturally want to know about your future in relationships and so on but you are also a spirit, a soul, a being not connected to any particular age or category or gender. I have seen Yi speak of 60 year old women as toddlers. It might be that your biological identity and your actual youthful exploring identity feel at odds with each other, within you, but in the end we go with the soul's direction and it isn't always the soul's chosen direction to marry young and reproduce.
 

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
Thanks Trojina :) Your answer is very interesting.
I don't know if that's what you want to hear. I think the 55 shows you might feel pulled to making or wanting to make firm decisions now but I feel the 3 and the lines ask you to loosen yourself around the whole area, be 15 again for a while :D
It's a good thing to hear indeed! I rather thought the reading was inviting me to put a lot of effort into finding & maintaining the relationships that could end in marriage. That's why I considered it unpleasant.
Was it you who said they didn't like kids etc ?
Yeah:p
If it is then this cast confirms to me that you may feel that way because you are in some way not ready anyway, you need to be you and explore like a growing thing.
In fact I often doubt I'll be ever ready for marriage and can have a successful one. That's why I cast this reading.
also we identify with our bodies so you might for example be a woman of 30 and naturally want to know about your future in relationships and so on but you are also a spirit, a soul, a being not connected to any particular age or category or gender.
That's very true. I have been always averse to gender roles & would deeply suffer if forced to act "the female" all the time. One of my closest friends is a guy who doesn't follow the gender norms himself. For age, too, I relate very well to people several years younger than me. They don't consider me the older one who is born before a particular year/decade and therefore doesn't belong to their group & is likely to judge their behavior. I'm a bit younger than 30, however most people my age feel totally stranger to others who are 4-5 years or more their junior, as if they are all dangerous and immature members of next generation, which is a false assumption caused by ignorance.
On the other hand I may open up to a 60-year-old and everything goes well.;)
It might be that your biological identity and your actual youthful exploring identity feel at odds with each other.
Yes. In my early 20s I wondered why I didn't feel the time pass and bring me to a new actual age. Now I'm used to the discordance. I have always had a youthful appearance for my age, too. My spirit & appearance are more or less in harmony; not with my actual age, however.
but in the end we go with the soul's direction and it isn't always the soul's chosen direction to marry young and reproduce.
Agree. I consider the body as a case for the soul. I wish that this soul leads me where the body is also satisfied.
 
Last edited:

sylvia1ching

visitor
Joined
Sep 26, 2018
Messages
171
Reaction score
15
"Am I built to marry and have a happy marriage?"

HEX 3.3.4.5: DIFFICULTY AT THE BEGINNING changes to HEX 55: ABUNDANCE

HEX 3: DIFFICULTY AT THE BEGINNING (Wilhelm, 1997)
The idea behind (from my perspective) is that the unknown creates a uncertainty. Uncertainty can create confusion... and if you will "teeming, chaotic profusion" (Wilhelm, 1997)

teeming - be full of or swarming with
chaotic - complete confusion and disorder
profusion - an abundance or large quantity of something

DIFFICULTY AT THE BEGINNING is swarming with an abundance of complete confusion and disorder. That sounds like love and ,as always in the Wilhelm version to me, sounds like sex with someone the first time...begin first time ever or the first time period.

The entire discussion is around how Heaven (man/significant other) and Earth (woman/significant other) come (however you want to interpret that) together and create life. Like a thunderstorm that releases the rain and all the tension behind and the chaos clears up leaving everything in s state of calm and relax. Shoowee... I feel hot and sweaty all over

So, are you built to marry? Technically, yes. The question: Am i built to have a happy marriage? This is where the teeming, chaotic profusion will mean something. Like anything that has any significance in this world, growth is part of the challenge and the reward. Growing into maturity in order to sustain on your own and in unity is the difficulty we must learn to understand. The process to which achieve this takes partnership (helper) and time... and the right time.

THE JUDGEMENT
DIFFICULTY AT THE BEGINNING works supreme success,
Furthering through perseverance.
Nothing should be undertaken.
It furthers one to appoint helpers.

Given your apprehension towards relationships in the past and the fact that you are open to them now suggests to me that you have opened yourself up to a new concept or direction that you had not fully exposed yourself to in the past. This mean you will be aware and recognizing things that you had not noticed in the past.
The end result is success, in fact, supreme success and you should keep working at it or towards it. Open to the idea of happy marriage that will be successful one. I am going to assume that you want to marry only once thus you want to find the right person. You must envision the idea and define what makes "the right person" for you. Since you have nothing to compare it to, being that you have not been married before, you are working from a blank canvass. You are not asking about a happy relationship but a happy marriage....like this is forever kind of commitment. This is so much different from a relationship in which you live with someone. When you live with someone there is always the opportunity to get out of it relatively easier than a marriage which is bound by a contract in which both parties have signed. It takes on an entirely different meaning.
What makes the question so excellent for you, is your skepticism. You are reaching out for support from the I Ching and onlineclarity community. You are not sitting by passively waiting for something to happen to you. Besides you will never really be 100 percent ready but you can do all you can. So the birthing of the idea of marriage for you is teeming, chaotic profusion. In this state you seek out support, you identify what is important to you in the person you would want to marry, how do YOU define a happy marriage, are your expectations of partner and a marriage realistic, ... as you search out these answers continuing to focus on the vision of marriage things happen at the right time.
You may want to consider asking people who are happily married, what it took from them to maintain their marriage, how did they know it was the right person, what did they do in times of conflict.I think you will find a common thread between all couples as well as other interesting information unique to each couple..

THE IMAGE
Clouds and thunder
The image of DIFFICULTY AT THE BEGINNING.
Thus the superior man
Brings order out of confusion.

The image of clouds and thunder is picturesque...with brooding pregnant clouds about to burst into or onto a serene and quiet earth. The image in your mind of what happy marriage has not completely formed for you. This is just the beginning and there is so much to wonder and discover. As you organize your thoughts and ideas about relationships, the ideal partner, courting, children, wedding, honeymoon, in-laws, you soon begin to see that out of the uncertainty an image or vision of what you want will emerge.

It is important to recognize that although marriage is a living, breathing entity you also get to understand that you will become a part of a unit or union as well as maintaining your own individuality. "In order to find one's place in the infinity of being, one must be able both to separate and to unite." (Wilhelm, 1997) You get to find balance between you and the unit called husband and wife.

LINE 3:
Six in the fourth place means:
Whoever hunts deer without the forester
Only loses his way in the forest.
The superior man understands the sign of the time
And prefers desist.
To go on brings humiliation.

At this time you are not ready for such a commitment as marriage. You must create a set of guidlines in order to create a vision of what you want in a partner and in a marraiage. You must first answer for yourself the following:

1. What are the qualities of an individual you would like to marry?
2. Define your core values and use them a baseline to determine is someone is right for you.
3. What do you need to feel emotional supported? What are your needs?
4. Looking to your family, to past relationships what relationships have you had that bring out the best in you?
5. What relationships have you had that make you feel safe and secure?
ETC

Using these guidelines you can identify the personality traits that best identify with you and what you want.

LINE 4:
Six in the fourth place means:
Horse and wagon part.
Strive for union.
To go brings good fortune.
Everything acts to further.

This is line is talking about connection and "striving for union"... it sounds like dating to me. Take the time to date and learn about what you want. Try not to get bogged down into the aspect of dating... like sex. Take the opportunity to get out there and learn about what you want. As you itntroduce yourself to different people you can see if your guidelines are realistic.

Remember you goal is different than it has been in the past. Today you create a question that has intent. You asked if "Am I built for marriage?" YES you are... "Am I built for a happy marriage?" Now this answer needs more work. For you know if someone sees you as someone who is marriage material and can create a happy marriage, you must know that for yourself. When you have a clear idea of what all of that means... what marriage material means and what a happy marriage means, you will then project those values, those thoughts, that energy out into the world and it will be received and you will get responses.

When you have intent about achieving an objective, by identifying what that means to you, you can then use that to bring into form and attract that goal or person into your life. Everything you want is found in you. It is from you which everything is created. Nothing is being stamped onto you like an unwanted tatoo. You have a choice in all this and this how you show up and how you respond. So show up ready!

LINE 5:
Nine in the fifth place means:
Difficulties in blessing.
A little perseverance brings good fortune.
Great perseverance brings misfortune.

You may not quite ready for the marriage part but you are preparing for what you want in a marriage. Check in to see whether some of you ideas are realistic... via I Ching or mother, friends... listen but remember the most important thing... TRUST YOURSELF....Do not allow the advice from others to cloud your intentions, beliefs, wants, ideas, truths etc about what you have defined for yourself. Build your confidence in the criteria that you have defined.

"Other peoples interpose and distort everything he (you) does. He should then be cautious and proceed step by step...It is only through faithful and conscientious work, unobtrusively carried on, that the situation gradually clears up and hinderance disappears." (Wilhelm, 1997)

SUMMARY:
The situation is this, you want a relationship, you are wanting to know if you are worthy for marriage and are you worthy for a happy marriage. Well the answer is YES an absolute, unrefutable, undeniable, get out of my way, I deserve everything great and beautiful, a super duper big YES..SO ...AND....what stands in your way is...YOU. It is in the uncertainty of how you believe you show up or how you think other people think about you. You become overwhelmed and uncertain because you are looking for affirmation from outside of yourself and for the wrong question.

You are absolutely worthy of a beautiful gift of love. You are absolutely worthy of a beautiful gift of a happy marriage. Noone is ever denied either one. The only hesistation or denial in all of this HEX 3 is coming through you. The oracle has responded to, exactly where you are at right now. HEX 3 is about building up the confidence and knowing what you want. That is what is DIFFICULT IN THE BEGINNING. The underlying absolute and answer to your question is you get to have it all and you are worthy... the difficulty is in believing that you are worthy and increasing your confidence so that you will ACCEPT your worthiness? The real question is, what is it that I need to know or what do I need to do or understand in order for me to find the right person?

HEX 3 changes into HEX 55: ABUNDANCE

Look at that, right out the gate, the oracle is saying: Miss Marybluesky, you are woman deserving of love. Knowng this is a truth and having been developing your confidence you will be blessed with abundance. With the right information and the development of your confidence you will meet a certain peak. What does this peak represent?

You have done the ground work to define yourself with confidence. You will recognize that your outlook on life will change and begin to see many possibilities before you. This new resource will need to be tested. It may also have you look at you present relationship(s) and recognize that they do not work for you anymore. There maybe a loss in this. The confidence is not what peaks it is that your old way of thinking has peaked and it is of no use to you anymore and possibly your relationships now may be of no value to anymore. It will be necessary to move on in order for you to achieve your goal.

Although you are wanting to know about an intimate relationship that will lead to marriage you get to recognize that you are developing guidelines and criteria that will define all relationships. These criteria are applicable to friendships and working relationships. Your core values, what kind of boss do you want to work for based on those core values. Looking at your friendships, have they really supported you in the way need them to.. or have you been one who has been the one who has been taking from the friendship and not giving. The idea is that how we relate to people, to friends, to potential spouses should not drastically change because the basic principles that define a couple will also define a friendship or employee-employer relationship. What all relationships are founded on are integrity, authenticity, sincerity, truthfulness, conflict resolution etc.

Another thing that will happen is that you will put yourself out there full of assuredness and you may find that you will be met with rejection or you may need to reject someone. Either way it is part of the growth to identify the relationship that leads into what you want.

THE JUDGEMENT
ABUNDANCE has success.
The king attains abundance.
Be not sad.
Be like the sun at midday.

Abundance is like Increase at its peak, the expection and the natural ebb and flow of all things is a decline. Recognize that even with all things just right it still may lead to disappointment. So be like the midday sun keep shining and learn from your mistakes.

THE IMAGE
Both thunder and lightening come:
The image of ABUNDANCE.
Thus the superior amn decides lawsuits
And carries out punishments.

Through mistakes it is important to identify what worked and what did not work on your behalf. It is also important as to not assume it is all your mistake. You get to experience yourself in a confident mindset that has a goal of creating a happy, successful marriage. Yet along the way not everything works out as planned. As a result you must learn from your mistakes and adjust accordingly. Just because things do not work out does not mean they will NEVER work out.
 

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
the unknown creates a uncertainty. Uncertainty can create confusion... and if you will "teeming, chaotic profusion" (Wilhelm, 1997)
That's my state of mind towards marriage at this moment, though I can't clearly see the dimensions of profusion.
That sounds like love and ,as always in the Wilhelm version to me, sounds like sex with someone the first time...begin first time ever or the first time period.
I see!
The entire discussion is around how Heaven (man/significant other) and Earth (woman/significant other) come (however you want to interpret that) together and create life. Like a thunderstorm that releases the rain and all the tension behind and the chaos clears up leaving everything in s state of calm and relax.
That's how the third hexagram sounds to me- the intercourse of the heaven and earth/male and female- for the first time: formidable, intense, creative, full of life and joy. At this moment, of course, there is no one in my life I can experience this "union" with.
you have opened yourself up to a new concept or direction that you had not fully exposed yourself to in the past. This mean you will be aware and recognizing things that you had not noticed in the past.
True. My view has considerably changed and widened during the last year. I sense & feel some things I didn't before.
So the birthing of the idea of marriage for you is teeming, chaotic profusion.
It has always been and I absolutely have no idea how it works.
This is just the beginning and there is so much to wonder and discover.
Very hard. And I should go through it while I don't know where to begin and what to do. Really difficult.
LINE 3:
Six in the fourth place means:
Whoever hunts deer without the forester
Only loses his way in the forest.
The superior man understands the sign of the time
And prefers desist.

To go on brings humiliation.
So maybe that's not the right time for me to begin?
LINE 4:
Six in the fourth place means:
Horse and wagon part.
Strive for union.
To go brings good fortune.
Everything acts to further.
Then comes a day when I can sucessfully seek union.
Remember you goal is different than it has been in the past. .. For you know if someone sees you as someone who is marriage material and can create a happy marriage, you must know that for yourself.
All I know about a successful relationship is that the two parties love and respect each-other and are willing to protect one another. I can't imagine some concrete, visible factors that make people marriage material. And so is the idea of a successful marriage. Maybe something worthy in another's eyes is worthless for me & vice-versa. So, I can't say if I'm marriage material in someone's eyes; and even if I know I am, their idea may be so different from mine that being together leads to disappointment.
LINE 5:
Nine in the fifth place means:
Difficulties in blessing.
A little perseverance brings good fortune.
Great perseverance brings misfortune.
"Other peoples interpose and distort everything he (you) does. He should then be cautious and proceed step by step...It is only through faithful and conscientious work, unobtrusively carried on, that the situation gradually clears up and hinderance disappears." (Wilhelm, 1997)
Difficult... I admit.
what stands in your way is...YOU. It is in the uncertainty of how you believe you show up or how you think other people think about you.
Knowing myself as I do, I tell you it's rather my uncertainty of how to find the right partner, how to attract him, how to make things work and so on... or how to find good guys who're not taken. I had this problem even in my early 20s.
the difficulty is in believing that you are worthy and increasing your confidence so that you will ACCEPT your worthiness?
I agree, however you don't know what to do with your worthiness after having faced abstacle after obstacle in the outer world.
You have done the ground work to define yourself with confidence. You will recognize that your outlook on life will change and begin to see many possibilities before you.
Amen!
the basic principles that define a couple will also define a friendship
I agree. I didn't say this if you asked me two years ago. Now I do.
 

Trojina

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
26,921
Reaction score
4,426
I agree, however you don't know what to do with your worthiness after having faced abstacle after obstacle in the outer world.

Well again you are never going to be ready for anything if you take the attitude....much less marriage. At what point are you going to take responsibility for your life ..all of it ..obstacle after obstacle AND success after success

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal it the willingness to continue that counts." Winston Churchill


To quote someone you highlight the part of their post you want to quote and then you click on the little speech bubble in the middle row of the icons above the post. As it is you are making no distinction between what you are quoting, what Mary said, and what you are saying which can be confusing.


I will demonstrate in my next post by quoting Mary's sentence
 

Trojina

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
26,921
Reaction score
4,426
Mary said

I agree, however you don't know what to do with your worthiness after having faced abstacle after obstacle in the outer world.


I don't think your answer is saying it's all your fault because you feel unworthy. Marriage isn't the shining pinnacle of emotional happiness for everyone and sometimes there are many reasons why one isn't ready - apart from from feeling unworthy, so I don't particularly agree with Sylvia.


Well again you are never going to be ready for anything if you take the attitude....much less marriage. At what point are you going to take responsibility for your life ..all of it ..obstacle after obstacle AND success after success



But does this have a lot to do with the cast she actually got ? I mean she did get 3.3, it really isn't time to be forcing any action.


There's so many factors in a person's life that aren't even visible to them let alone others. I don't think it's as simple as 'just take responsibility for your life'
 

Trojina

Supporter
Clarity Supporter
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
26,921
Reaction score
4,426
I'm going to try to guess at who is saying what


Mary said

That's my state of mind towards marriage at this moment, though I can't clearly see the dimensions of profusion.
Quote Originally Posted by


Sylvia said

I'm going to say this Mary Blue Sky the simple fact that you've invited an entire Community to investigate whether you are built for marriage... Implies to me that you are swarming with an abundant amount of confusion. Because if you understood this already you wouldn't be asking people from all around the world to draw attention to you to help you figure it out.

Maybe Mary said

All I know about a successful relationship is that the two parties love and respect each-other and are willing to protect one another. I can't imagine some concrete, visible factors that make people marriage material. And so is the idea of a successful marriage. Maybe something worthy in another's eyes is worthless for me & vice-versa. So, I can't say if I'm marriage material in someone's eyes; and even if I know I am, their idea may be so different from mine that being together leads to disappointment.


Sylvia said

Miss Mary Blue Sky I'm not here to discuss someone else's idea of worthiness I am talking about your worthiness. Because if you have to ask "am I built for marriage and am I built for a happy marriage "suggest to me that you don't even recognize your worth as as someone 1 who is physically built to get married 2 if you look at your question and you've rephrase it as a following: " am I able to marry and I'm on able to have a happy marriage?" This gives me the strong impression that you are not even considering the one criteria you
identified:.."that marriage can be founded in two people who love each other".

Sylvia said
You do not ask from a position of strength but a position of acceptance. you are asking to be acceptable to be married or acceptable enough to have a happy marriage. if you are good enough to marry or if you are built for marriage you are asking someone from the outside to tell you if you are able to marry.


Sylvia said

I responded to regarding both parts of the question: The situation is this, you want a relationship, you are wanting to know if you are worthy for marriage and are you worthy for a happy marriage. Well the answer is YES an absolute, unrefutable, undeniable, get out of my way, I deserve everything great and beautiful, a super duper big YES..SO ...AND....what stands in your way is...YOU



I don't think Mary does know if she wants marriage. I thought she was considering how the state of being married connected with her own sense of individuality and purpose in this life time. She's not sure if it's for her - well that's how I initially saw it.


Well I only answered her from post 13 where she asked


Hi again

I posted this thread almost 20 days ago. As the questions have a general aspect I can't talk about the results soon.

I, however, cast another reading with a similar theme: "Am I built to marry and have a happy marriage?" (remember that I used to be skeptical about the serious relationships. I wrote that in my previous posts in this thread.)
I got 3.3.4.5 >55


...and I had the general impression from somewhere Mary isn't feeling ready to jump into marriage but I may have lost track.
 
Last edited:

marybluesky

visitor
Joined
Jul 28, 2018
Messages
1,441
Reaction score
1,006
I'm going to say this Mary Blue Sky the simple fact that you've invited an entire Community to investigate whether you are built for marriage... Implies to me that you are swarming with an abundant amount of confusion. Because if you understood this already you wouldn't be asking people from all around the world to draw attention to you to help you figure it out.
Of course we invite others to discuss our -often personal- problems by sharing our readings. That's a purpose of building such forums. I see nothing wrong with it. Still, those people around the world can simply ignore our questions if they dislike them. I've read no guidelines that qualify such questions as wrong. Yes, I'm confused. I guess we don't bother casting readings if we have no doubts.
if you have to ask "am I built for marriage and am I built for a happy marriage "suggest to me that you don't even recognize your worth as as someone...if you are good enough to marry or if you are built for marriage you are asking someone from the outside to tell you if you are able to marry.
For me it's not a question of worthiness as a human being. I doubt all humans are "built" to get and remain married, as it comes naturally to some people and not to others. Some marry young, without even knowing themselves well, and remain together for decades ; while others strive and strive without getting good results. Regarding my situation, I definitely don't belong to the first group. Again, I don't think that's "wrong" to ask the I Ching if you're built for something.
This gives me the strong impression that you are not even considering the one criteria you identified:.."that marriage can be founded in two people who love each other".
Yes it can be founded. But doesn't always.
At what point are you going to take responsibility for your life
Sometimes you can't get what you want. No matter how hard you try. You accuse me of being irresponsible too easily. Besides, if I'm not a, to say, "go-getter" it doesn't mean that I don't take responsibility for my actions and their consequences.
 

sylvia1ching

visitor
Joined
Sep 26, 2018
Messages
171
Reaction score
15
I have problem doing that when I use my phone. I will clean it up when I get home...thank you for bringing it to my attention
 

Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom

Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).

Top