Hello!What it means if someone recieves 36.1 changing to 15 when she asks "what is the best course of action to take toward A"?* A is a guy she barely knows & intrigues her to start a relationship.Thanks.

Hi marybluesky,

"What is the best course of action to take toward A?"
36.1 to 15 ~ Passively 'watch' what happens in the next three encounters ~ don't over-think it ~ while remaining humble on the outside.

I had a friend who was so sharp, well educated and successful that she scared-off all the men she dated. When she turned 30, she asked me what she should do to attract the right guy for her? My answer was that she'd have to dumb herself down in order to get what she wanted.

One of the messages in this hex is: If you show your brilliance to the outside world, then people will want to cage you, in order to possess and control that brilliance for their own benefit. So, the advice provides a strategy that allows you to 'see' deeply into the other, without revealing the strength of your insight.

In the case of my friend, she found a great guy, who was successful himself, and a rock-steady provider, and now they're happily married with kids.

So, the strategy worked for her.

I hope this helps!

Thanks radiofreewill! I was confused about the reading. The only thing I could think of was slowly moving forward into an unknown situation.Your answer is helpful

marybluesky said:

Hello!What it means when she asks .... a guy she barely knows ...

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I am curious, is the "she" asking the question you or someone else?

So, starting with something simple, what does this reading mean to you? or for the 'she/her' who is asking the question? How do you see it? It might give us insight to know your thoughts. It also might give you some 'skin in the game,' as they say.

Hexagram 36 is called Brightness Hidden or Brightness Obscured. It's not about one's light being hidden from the outside -- but more about an intentional act, where you hide your light, maybe so you don't draw attention to yourself, or perhaps you're reserving resources, like dampening a fire so it lasts through the night.

I'm not really sure what it means here, but perhaps 'she/her' is hidding her own light, perhaps out of fear, and the best course of action would be to seek to understand why 'she/her' is doing that.

Another thought is that right now may be the time to hide one's light. And as Hilary suggests, maybe it's a time to be asking: when no one is looking, who are you? and ... how do you safeguard that light?

All of this 'hiding of one's light' could be pretty tedious and tiring, so the related gua 15 may be asking: how might you return to a state of balance with all this?

Or, it could be saying:

"When your done with all the hiding, consider being authentic and acting with integrity; that's way more attractive than playing dumb."

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I had a friend who was so sharp, well educated and successful that she scared-off all the men she dated. When she turned 30, she asked me what she should do to attract the right guy for her? My answer was that she'd have to dumb herself down in order to get what she wanted.

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God how depressing, did you get your ideas from a 1955 woman's magazine ?


Good Grief this sort of nonsense used to be handed out in the 50s and 60s. It's an awful thing to advise someone. If your friend had to make herself dumb to make someone like her would it be worth it for the kind of person who want that ?

Your advice is offensive.

In the case of my friend, she found a great guy, who was successful himself, and a rock-steady provider, and now they're happily married with kids.

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Yippee I guess it was worth her acting dumb then

So, the strategy worked for her.

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Yippee it was only by concealing who she truly was that she found someone and now she has kids - success -

marybluesky said:

Hello!What it means if someone recieves 36.1 changing to 15 when she asks "what is the best course of action to take toward A"?* A is a guy she barely knows & intrigues her to start a relationship.Thanks.

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Well common sense alone would say how can she/you take a 'best course of action' if she doesn't even know him ? Common sense alone would say get to know him in order to make a decision about whether you want to get to know him more.


This is what the line actually says from Hilary's translation in wikiwing

Brightness hiding, flying away
Drooping his wings.
The noble one is on the move,
For three days, eats nothing
Has a direction to go
The people in authority have something to say’

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So the noble one isn't hanging around or being passive he's on the move and he has a direction to go.

This sounds like you pretending you don't know what to do next. There is sometimes quite a sarcastic edge to the line as if he droops his wings to feign injury so he can get away easier.


15 is much along the lines of common sense mentioned above.



But to understand this answer you'd need to do the work on it. When the original poster posts one sentence and the respondents get to have to write several paragraphs then something is missing - and that would be the querent's own ideas I think.

"She" is someone else Freedda.

Freedda said:

So, starting with something simple, what does this reading mean to you? or for the 'she/her' who is asking the question?

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We were confused about the connection of two hexagrams, the changing line, & the meaning, as I said to radiofreewill. I couldn't find any considerable advice.

Freedda said:

How do you see it? It might give us insight to know your thoughts.

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Before I read the comments, I only could tell there was an unknown (obscured) situation one should cautiously deal with.

Freedda said:

"When your done with all the hiding, consider being authentic and acting with integrity; that's way more attractive than playing dumb."

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I didn't take the dumbness for its literal meaning. To me, it rather sounded like being less assertive/conflicting (the person in question can be too much of that).

I liked your view of this difficult reading.

Trojina said:

Well common sense alone would say how can she/you take a 'best course of action' if she doesn't even know him ? Common sense alone would say get to know him in order to make a decision about whether you want to get to know him more.

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I guess my friend meant how to approach him/make him approach her- or better said, how to start the process of getting to know.

Trojina said:

When the original poster posts one sentence and the respondents get to have to write several paragraphs then something is missing - and that would be the querent's own ideas I think.

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I indeed had no clear idea. I write my interpretation when I can.

marybluesky said:

"She" is someone else.

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Good. Î was wondering if you were talking about yourself in the third person. We found it odd

We were confused about the connection of two hexagrams, the changing line, & the meaning.

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In this cases, or in general? Just asking, because there are resources here if you care to use them: free online reading, and free I Ching course.

I think it's often useful to say something, even if it's just a stab at it, or that you don't know.

D.

I think marybluesky caught the frisbee the way I threw it ~ but Trojina, and david, are right that my throw was more of a wobble than a glide?

I meant dumbing down one's brilliance as a social strategy for meeting and engaging the 'right' persons in a field full of not-'right' big game hunters? Similar to a "don't flash your cash in the marketplace" advice?

It's not a question of integrity, but more one of savvy, instead.

In the backstory to the Zhouyi, King Wen's popularity with the people made him a threat to the Shang Tyrant, who imprisoned him to limit his influence.

During his seven years in captivity, Wen quietly developed his brilliant system of the Hexagrams, while dimming his light externally ~ and, in the process, became uninteresting to the Tyrant ~ at which point Wen's family and friends were able to bribe the Tyrant with gifts, and bring the future founder of the Zhou Dynasty back home.

My friend's issue was that she was always the smartest person in the room, which was socially threatening to the men, and so she ended up with a bunch of Jeopardy contestants trying to date her?

By dimming her light, she became less threatening, and learned to share the stage with others ~ one of whom she went on to marry.

One of the things I like the most about Clarity is that diversity of opinions is welcomed as part of the divining process ~ it's useful for both teaching newcomers about the i-Ching, and for helping people to solve their real world problems, too?

I learn all the time here ~ thanks for your patience with me!

Freedda in general I have my interpretation of hexagrams and lines. You'll see it in my questions and answers if you search the forum.

Thanks for explaining radiofreewill and for your patience with me :bows:

Update: My friend and this guy spent one day together hiking & playing. It hasn't been a date BTW. She took a laid-back & relaxed attitude, as radiofreewill recommended. They are slowly getting closer & the guy has shown interest in meeting her in near future.
So, one of the "three" meetings went on well

Update: my friend and this guy are getting closer; nothing romantic up to this day, though.