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23.2.6 what's holding us apart

Icecoldkitkat

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Hi. Seems to be a perfect match. There are some trust issues and baggage but a very deep connection between us. We've been taking time apart for a couple of weeks. Now I feel like it's time to get back but he seems to be still holding back. We saw ech other briefly this eve and I thought there's still a barrier so I asked what's holding us apart? 23.2.6>7Im thinking maybe he needs more time observing how our lives evolve while apart and if we can trust each other. While apart asking about the relationship I got a lot of 2 and 20 unchanging - that's where the idea comes from.
 

Lavalamp

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what's holding us apart?
23.2.6 > 7
You didn't ask about the possibilities or fortune, you asked what keeps you apart.
23 - Splitting Apart, Deterioration, Unraveling.
You got the hex that actually often refers to a physical parting.

So the Yi might say, "well, what keeps people apart?"
23.2 There really being nothing between you - no correlate - and a lack of perseverance.
23.6 Two people who are moving in different directions, and one simply cannot receive the good being offered.
You might try asking a different question though. You did focus your question on the negative.

- LL
 

radiofreewill

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Hi Icecoldkitkat,

"What's holding us apart?"
23.2.6 to 7 ~ The only thing holding you together is your desire to capture him.

Field's "Zhou Book of Changes" says the backstory to this hexagram involves a pivotal moment in the history of the Shang people ~ affecting the succession to the throne ~ in the times before they went on to found the second dynasty in China.

The moral behind the backstory is: Virtue defeats Desire

Therefore, each of the lines deals with destruction ~ either brought on oneself, or averted by oneself ~ according to desire or virtue.

Field says that line 2 was read as an omen of destruction, and in line 6 the object of desire was never obtained ~ instead, in the end, all those who chased their desires (inferior) in the backstory meet their demise at the hands of the nobles (superior) who mobilize the Army in order to destroy corruption and lawlessness at the root.

So, in 23, all signs are that you are apart physically and emotionally (lines 1-5), in every way, really...

...except in your head (line 6), where the story of your desires holds sway.

Is it possible that you fell in love ~ and dreamily gave your heart away ~ to someone unworthy of being with you?

If so, then the Yi is saying, would your response be to increase your desire for him, or to increase your virtue for yourself?

I hope this helps!
 

Icecoldkitkat

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Thank you kindly for the replies. Yes I asked in negative. Your interpretations sounds both very reasonable and I think it might be the case. As in he was over it. It feels almost like he is unsure of whether I have a quality he's looking for. Maybe not ready. Or it was a fling for him. Anyway he turned up with groceries this morning and made us breakfast at my house! We had a nice time chatting. So I'm left thinking he's trying to find the way back. I asked what's his plan with me got 54.2.5. I read it as maybe I'm someone he's willing to be with unless he finds better? What do you think - should I just let him be (if I can help it).
 

Icecoldkitkat

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Anyway. I can't be that it was only me holding it together. He keeps chatting to me, posted pics of me he took on his social media and asked me to go eat to this new place. So I asked how do I build a strong base with him? 63.3.4>17. Is it already build and I just have to follow? Or on the other hand it will never get there cause line 4 indicates that good is not seen?
 

sylvia1ching

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Hi. Seems to be a perfect match. There are some trust issues and baggage but a very deep connection between us. We've been taking time apart for a couple of weeks. Now I feel like it's time to get back but he seems to be still holding back.
We saw ech other briefly this eve and I thought there's still a barrier so I asked what's holding us apart? 23.2.6>7
Im thinking maybe he needs more time observing how our lives evolve while apart and if we can trust each other.
HEX 23: SPLITTING APART > HEX 7: THE ARMY
KEN - The Keep Still Mountain above KUN-The Receptive Earth
The dark/shadowy forces overtake the light/superior forces indirectly. This describes a situation where literally the foundation is being ripped apart subtly and gradually...ultimately creating all things collapse.

THE JUDGEMENT (Wilhelm, 1997 3rd ed)
SPLITTING APART. It does not further one
To go anywhere.

The following quote applies:
"When in Hell, Keep Going!" Winston Churchill

The situation is such that there is nothing that can change the ultimate result because it is result of the time and not of mans making. The remain superior men are going to be eventually surpassed and overcome. It is best to ride out the situation because there are events that have been set in motion that get to come to their natural end. The way to handle this time is act in the right way: receive/accept the time for what it is and remain still/quiet.

As it relates to your situation, it will require of you to follow this "time apart" to the end. The end is not necessarily when you want to the end. You may need to ask him the time frame of this "break in you relationship". The one thing you can do is request when and how long because this cannot go on forever and without a solution. At the same time, you may need to accept his time frame. PLEASE DO PUT A TIME FRAME ON IT FOR THE SAKE OF BOTH OF YOU. At least a point in which you can touch base and decided what you want to do next.

THE IMAGE: (Wilhelm, 1997 3rd ed)
The mountain rests on the earth:
The image of SPLITTING APART.
Thus those above can ensure their position
Only by giving generously to those below.

The mountain resting on the earth can be steep and narrow at the base causing the mountain to erode more easily or fall over because the base cannot support the steep/high rock. It is best to have a broad base allowing the magnificant of the mountain to rise above the earth great in its foundation.

Strengthen your foundation by making your own assessments about the relationship. Recognize what it is that you need. Do not place everything upon what he will or will not do. Be clear as to what you want, if you can trust him, what is it that you need... at the same time identify how you could see yourself being more supportive of him, what do you think he may need from you..

The idea is that you get to look at both sides and try to understand his needs and yours too. If you only focus on one side or only your needs then you are not taking full advantage of this time.

Line 2: (Wilhelm, 1997 3rd ed)
Six in the second place means:
The bed is split at the edge.
Those who persevere are destroyed
Misfortune.

The uncertainty around your most recent visit with (as described in the start of the post)... that althougth you want to get back with him, your experience is that he is not ready. It appears that the there is a feeling of uncertainty. Because above and below there is no support that would suggest that there is any relief or feedback that can be supportive to you, you get accept it as it is. Try not to read too much into it and remain neutral until you can get real feedback as to where he is at and you can connect with where you are at. Do not take it personally and adjust accordingly. Do not let your mind wander and make up what you think is going on. The only thing you can request is a time frame when you can expect some answer. You do not need to stay in limbo forever.

Line 6: (Wilhelm, 1997 3rd ed)
Nine at the top means:
There is a large fruit still uneaten.
The superior man receives a carriage.
The house of the inferior man is split apart.

The process gets to take its course. The split or divide in your relationship maybe inevetible at this time but if you are balanced and with confidence the opportunity for regrowth is possible after this breakdown is complete. Breakthrough follows breakdown if you observe and take away the right attitude and lessons. Maintain composure otherwise the alternative is that the split is final and complete and there is no going back.

Summary:
What is holding you two apart? I think that all depends upon you. How you handle this time and space between the two of you will determine whether there is future.
 

radiofreewill

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Hi Icecoldkitkat,

With his reaching out, I agree, it can't be just you holding you guys together?

Maybe he turned back from the brink of leaving, and now he's genuinely trying to get back with you?

Let's keep reading your tosses...

"What's his plan with me?"
54.2.5 to 17 ~ His plan is for you to follow him.

Line 2 ~ WB: "Here the situation is that of a girl married to a man who has disappointed her. Man and wife ought to work together like a pair of eyes. Here the girl is left behind in loneliness; the man of her choice either has become unfaithful or has died. But she does not lose the inner light of loyalty. Though the other eye is gone, she maintains her loyalty even in loneliness."

Line 5 ~ "We see here a girl of aristocratic birth who marries a man of modest circumstances and understands how to adapt herself with grace to the new situation. She is free of all vanity of outer adornment, and forgetting her rank in her marriage, takes a place below that of her husband, just as the moon, before it is quite full, does not directly face the sun."

So, can you forgive him for his past indiscretions, and trust him to lead you now?


"How do I build a strong base with him?"
63.3.4 to 17 ~ By rebuilding your trust in him over the course of the next three years.

Line 3 ~ Daniel Young's i-Ching ~ "A dangerous undertaking takes a long time to be successful. Inferior people should not be used in such enterprises."

Line 4 ~ "A temporary repair requires constant vigilance."

So, it's a process that will take some time ~ however ~ letting-go of the baggage and re-establishing trust appears to be possible, if both parties are noble about it?


What would it take for you to feel emotionally re-connected to him in such a way that you would willingly, trustingly follow him?
 

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