Hi everyone

I asked I Ching "How can I improve my love life?"
The answer: 52.1.6 >36

52 is Stilling: "To still yourself is to come to rest in your own right place... Attaining this kind of stillness means firmly, even stubbornly, resisting the forces that would disrupt your equilibrium."
It means excluding other people's influence and being firm on your own.

Line 1: "Stilling your feet, No mistake. Ever-flowing constancy bears fruit."
Do not initiate action.

Line 6: "Great-hearted stilling. Good fortune."
An image of tranquil non-action. Present inaction creates future advantage.

The there is Hex 36, "Brightness Hidden" that invite us not to let our light shine through.
How do "resting in one's own rooms", "not seeing people" & "hiding one's qualities" lead to improvement in my love life?? I can't see! I have been "keeping my back still" for the most part of my life and no considerable progress happened.

I also asked another question: "What happens to my love life if I pursue younger boys?" (I'm attracted to them).
The answer was Hex 39 unchanging: "Limping".
"Difficulty, Arresting Movement, Trouble"
"The southwest is of benefit. The northeast -- no benefit. It benefits one to visit a great man. To continue brings good fortune."

There are difficulties but also benefit in the southwest- familiar situations? friends? people I already know? Or the I Ching simply invites me to rest where I am; in the other words, not to act?

So there is nothing I can do?
I'll appreciate your comments.

*The italic parts are cited from James deKorne website.

Hi marybluesky,

"How can I improve my love life?"
52.1.6 to 36 ~ "Check your back."

Take a moment to get still, sooner rather than later, dim your lights, and check your surroundings ~ someone may be fixated on you?

If you are going to turn-on the 'sex' lamp ~ energetically speaking ~ then you need to be alert and discerning as to whom it attracts?

The reading feels more cautionary than urgent? It may be that the fixation is only incipient, at this point? It can't hurt to check?

"What happens to my love life if I pursue younger boys?"
39uc ~ Not going forward for now will be difficult, but in the end, good fortune.

I read it as "probably not the best time for that" but, if you can wait until circumstances change, then you will be liberated from constraint, and free to pursue your interests?

Good Luck!

Hi everyone

I asked I Ching "How can I improve my love life?"
The answer: 52.1.6 >36

52 is Stilling: "To still yourself is to come to rest in your own right place... Attaining this kind of stillness means firmly, even stubbornly, resisting the forces that would disrupt your equilibrium."
It means excluding other people's influence and being firm on your own.

Line 1: "Stilling your feet, No mistake. Ever-flowing constancy bears fruit."
Do not initiate action.

Line 6: "Great-hearted stilling. Good fortune."
An image of tranquil non-action. Present inaction creates future advantage.

The there is Hex 36, "Brightness Hidden" that invite us not to let our light shine through.
How do "resting in one's own rooms", "not seeing people" & "hiding one's qualities" lead to improvement in my love life?? I can't see! I have been "keeping my back still" for the most part of my life and no considerable progress happened.

Click to expand...

You ask how this cast can be advice on how to improve your love life ? Yi is saying quite clearly that it isn't a time for you to be aiming to improve your love life at all.


So it isn't time to make big efforts to get 'out there' it's time just to be still, not minding very much about anything and not minding about other people. 52 does specifically say one walks in the courtyard but doesn't notice the people.

So why is it not time to try to improve your love life and is a love life something that can be improved by a matter of will anyway ? Well 36 there appears to say right now you are coming to this from a place of pain or hurt. If I broke my arm it's not time to make a cake. If your heart feels broke here it isn't a time to try to pour out more into other relationships. Now I don't say that as any kind of general principle but here in your case with this cast I do see a warning and I suspect it is to do with your vulnerability at the present time. You mustn't rush into anything, you need a time just to be as you are. There is actually no rush at all is there ?

I also asked another question: "What happens to my love life if I pursue younger boys?" (I'm attracted to them).
The answer was Hex 39 unchanging: "Limping".
"Difficulty, Arresting Movement, Trouble"
"The southwest is of benefit. The northeast -- no benefit. It benefits one to visit a great man. To continue brings good fortune."

There are difficulties but also benefit in the southwest- familiar situations? friends? people I already know? Or the I Ching simply invites me to rest where I am; in the other words, not to act?

Click to expand...

Well you just had very clear answer not to pursue anything at the moment and the 39uc just reflects that. If you do you run into a mountainside, no way through.


If you are going to listen to the I Ching you have to understand it's answers are often at odds with the popular advice you might receive out in the world. Friends might tell you to 'get out there', movies promote the idea happiness only comes via romantic and sexual encounters, it's all pushed at us from every angle and then there's the pressure of feeling you are missing out or wasting life etc. Yi is telling you not to worry at all about any of this. You are in some sense Wounded (36)and need to Stop (52). I fear running headlong into more relationships will only hurt you at the moment so stop - no rush.

So there is nothing I can do?
I'll appreciate your comments.

Click to expand...

That's right, you interpreted correctly IMO. But this isn't a message of hopelessness because the truth is running after seeking a relationship right now isn't the best thing for you.


I can't know exactly why that is but I do trust the I Ching's wisdom. So supposing the kindest most loving parent or guide that you never knew in this lifetime, who truly wants the best for you came to your side and said


'Please Mary, just be as you are for a while, there's no rush, there is no urgency, you need some space, some stillness to process inner hurts that need healing time. You may think you made no progress but you can't actually see the progress you have made because progress doesn't always look like the standards of the every day world you live in. If you pursue another relationship you will just be heading back into difficulties because you are approaching them from the same 36 place you have before in previous times.'



Something like that is what I see. I also feel it is quite important you take this answer to heart, really hear it, don't keep trying to push forward.

UPDATE:
I started this thread right a month ago. I have been"stilling" meanwhile, trying to maintain my equilibrium. It was a happy month and I am calmer now, but feel like losing touch with my emotions. I'm somehow disconnected from my love life and see others and their relationships in distance, like I never can have what they have; never can be like them
I have been through long periods of no love/relationship in the past and it really sucks when you have no love life in your prime. I know myself. The more I'm love-less, the colder I get; it becomes harder to come back, fall in love again, start a relationship and all the stuff...
Anyway, I seem to be following the advice.

Re-UPDATE:
After more than 3 months I can see how correct the cast was. Trojina was right: I had to Keep Still (52) because my internal Brightness was Hidden (36) & it wasn't good to move forward with that foggy mind. I couldn't notice at the time. I was in no relationship; considered my wounds healed enough to start something new, and there was the psychological "urge". Looking back, I clearly see how clouded my perception was. All the urge, in fact, raised from the unhealed wounds. I wasn't over past relationships/emotions. My feelings & sensations weren't released yet. I couldn't be "there", present- and receptive (interestingly, I received the second hexagram- Receptive Force- a lot for advice those days); clung to the past people/memories/emotions as if nothing interesting would happen in my life afterwards and I'd remain empty-handed. I took my life and abilities for granted in fact.
As for the other reading about younger boys, it wasn't the best time to initiate, either.
Thanks again, Radiofreewill & Trojina.