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Repeated 48>32 and 35>25 After Breakup

galatea11

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Greetings,

Thank you to Hilary and all the regular contributors for a wonderful forum. Earlier this year I met a new man and got engaged rather quickly. I broke off the engagement when I found out that he had been seeing his ex-girlfriend behind my back. He claims that they are just friends and only talked, no sex. This has been a highly emotional time for me and I have had some flurries where I was doing too many readings and asking rather inappropriate questions although I'm trying to curtail the tendency now. Two readings, however, resurfaced last night.

On October 17 I asked whether "X" had sex with his ex-girlfriend when he and I were together: 48.4.5>32

I read this as 48.4>28.5>32.
48.4 - He spent some time lining the "well" (ex-girlfriend) for the opportunity to have sex with her.
28.5 - He had sex with her but the fling didn't last long.
32 - What's enduring here? Maybe the fact that he's a cheater? Or that he is still smitten with her?

Anyways, "X" contacts me frequently, says he wants a future with me. Last night I asked how I should respond to his recent messages, if at all:
48.4.5>32 showed up again.

Then I asked the I Ching if 48>32 was basically just showing me a picture of the whole situation because I need to decide if I want to accept "X"'s betrayal and move forward with him or not. To this I received: 35.1.5>25.

Interestingly, I received this same exact reading - 35.1.5>25 - just a few days ago when, in a moment of rather pathetic despondency, I asked what I should do to improve my love life.

Trying not to be too long-winded here but I'm inclined to think that 48>32 shows "X"'s infidelity and 35>25 is telling me just to brighten my virtue (35), be patient (35.1), stay reserved (35.5) and clarity will arrive like a thunderbolt from Heaven (25.)

I would welcome comments and insight because I'm not sure that I'm thinking too clearly about this situation yet. Thanks in advance for any and all help.
 

radiofreewill

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Hi galatea11,

"Did X [the cheating dog] have sex with his ex-girlfriend when he and I were together?"
48.4.5 to 32 ~ "...the well does not...advance."

"Do I want to accept X's betrayal and move forward with him, or not?"
35.1.5 to 25 ~ Advancement is not a mistake.

I think you are ~ very emotionally ~ seeing it correctly. The rope at his well does not appear to discriminate between buckets, and the Yi says that the well is not likely to change, even as the surroundings keep changing?

In this situation, for you to advance means to leave him behind...

Otoh ~ just to play the devil's advocate here ~ what if...

...meeting you at the wishing well ~ and having a whirlwind relationship that led to engagement ~ didn't give him a chance to inform/update his prior relationships that he is no longer available (line 4) and now he's available purely and only...for you (line 5) ~ and he's ready for a committed, responsive relationship...with you (32)?

Should you/could you go forward with him then?

35. Advancement
Prosperity comes for a member of the upper class in a form which is fruitful and abundant. Multiple honors come quickly.

1. Advancement and destruction are parts of a cycle. The forecast is for good fortune. With confidence and generosity there will be no mistake.

5. Regrets disappear. Mindless of losing or winning one moves ahead to good fortune and undoubted advantage.

My advice is ~ if you're not sure, then stay protectively open to the possibilities until Clarity comes to the situation ~ like you said ~ and then advance accordingly.

I hope this helps!
 

galatea11

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Hi Radiofreewill,

Thank you so much! I appreciate your analysis and insight more than I can say. Also, I'm gratified that you see two potential scenarios here because, honestly, I've been struggling with those two scenarios and wondering if perhaps I'm going mad. Or maybe just getting desperate for some type of illusory hope.

Anyways, my ex-fiance "X" had caught his ex-girlfriend having sex with another man - in the bed that "X" shared with her, no less - and that's why they had broken up. Later it became apparent that she had been cheating on "X" with multiple partners for a long time and everyone but "X" had known about it. I would have thought that "X" would avoid this woman like the plague.

Another weird thing: the ex-girlfriend had introduced "X" to a group I believe to be a cult. The cult demands a considerable amount of involvement and tries to control every aspect of its members' lives. I attended exactly one "service" at their church and wanted to run screaming down the aisles although I've never been able to pinpoint what precisely bothered me that day. Anyways, the cult later told "X" that he had to choose between them and me. He left the cult but somehow seems to have gravitated back to them - and the ex-girlfriend - in these recent months.

Not sure whether above details are pertinent to recent readings but, interestingly, I frequently received 48 - The Well in readings concerning "X" when I first saw him around my neighborhood and gradually got to know him. I was drawn to "X" almost immediately and "The Well" almost started to represent him in my mind. I do recall a silly flicker of consternation over 48.6 (Wilhelm - "The well is there for all. No one is forbidden to take water from it") when it surfaced in my readings.. Lol

I do believe your advice is perfect in the circumstances:

Radiofreewill:
My advice is ~ if you're not sure, then stay protectively open to the possibilities until Clarity comes to the situation ~ like you said ~ and then advance accordingly.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for the time you took with your response because I haven't been able to discuss this with anybody. Hope you have a wonderful day.
 
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moss elk

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48>32 looks to me like the continuation of a cooperative/supportive relationship.
Not sex, but more like emotional support.

He may have told the truth.
(Although these sorts of ties have to be broken to be fully in a relationship:
He has to get this support from his partner, not his ex. )
 

galatea11

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Hi Moss Elk,

Thank you so much for taking the time to post your opinion. That reading continues to bedevil me since I received it twice regarding the same man in such a short span of time and I feel that I should spend more time trying to understand it. May I ask how you derived your interpretation? I do see 32 as a continuation of something but his ex-girlfriend humiliated him with her cheating and she doesn't strike me as someone who could viably provide emotional support. Granted, I'm far from thinking about this situation clearly yet. Do you think 48 represents the relationship between him and her? Thanks in advance for any continued insight.
 

moss elk

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May I ask how you derived your interpretation?

I see the related hexagram as a descriptor of the first.
In the image of 48, the jun zi encourages the people to help one another. (a well is something you can draw from)

So, I see 48 as what goes on between them. (cooperation, some kind of drawing from)

The 32 is the long enduring or continuity of a thing.

So, 48 + 32 looks to me as:
A Long Enduring Cooperation.
(Hilary often does the same thing, just phrases it differently, such as:
The Well's Long Enduring)

There is my formula.


("what about the lines?!" you may ask.
When there is more than one change line, the lines can become unintelligable, or more strongly I could say 'meaningless' because the meaning always lies in the particular combination of the two hex's. When you get a single change line, the authors married the two hex meanings for you, when there is more than one, you have to marry the hex's yourself.)
 

galatea11

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Thank you so much, Moss Elk. I really appreciate your explanation. I still have trouble separating reason from emotion so my soul cries out: "How can he ever trust or have any cooperation with a woman who cheated on him??" but I do see how the hexagrams seem to reflect that. I will reread your words in the morning when I tend to think more clearly. Thank you again for taking the time to respond. It's always when darkness falls (evening here now) that I feel most befuddled about issues facing me.
 

galatea11

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Greetings, thought I would update this..

"X" turned out to have a history of "lining his well" (48.4) to make himself appealing to women in whirlwind courtships like the one he had with me. From what I can see these relationships would flower briefly (28.5) like the one he had with me and then fade into nothingness. I think this pattern of behavior is an enduring condition (32) with him. As Moss Elk had mentioned "X" did seem to have a deeper connection with the ex-girlfriend about whom I had queried in the original 48>32 reading. Maybe she's one of the few who will still talk to him.

RadioFreeWill hit it on the head here;
I think you are ~ very emotionally ~ seeing it correctly. The rope at his well does not appear to discriminate between buckets, and the Yi says that the well is not likely to change, even as the surroundings keep changing?

I was just a drop in "X" 's bucket.

Many thanks to RadioFreeWill and Moss Elk for their contributions. They gave me a lot of food for thought last November when I was struggling with decisions. Although I'm still dealing with emotions I do have clarity now.
 
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