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Help with relationship reconciliation reading H 47.2.6 and H 54.3.6

Osenia

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Hello,

I feel slightly reluctant to yet again ask for interpretations upon my readings of my un-ending reconciliation desire saga, but the insights sometimes help to shed some light upon how to deal with my situation.

My ex partner broke up with me 4 months ago and I been wanting to get back together since and honestly had a very hard time letting go and I guess accepting the break up. But wanting to escape the situation I moved countries (probably the stupiest decision i could have made, if you in a break up and decide to move coutries, wait, don't do it!), but now still hoping that he will show initiative first for us to get back together, for me to move back to Scotland and that we will be happily together, i will move back and there will be a happy ending :D

So I asked I ching
Is he going to come back to me?

Got H 47.2.6 ---> I guess not a positive answer at all. I interpreted that it refers to his feelings being oppressed in relationship, not having freedom or losing individuality and becoming enclosed and isolated as he himself said. It refers small offerings that maybe a small steps that could lead to reconciliation? Or does the line refers to him being exhausted and unable to resolve his own issues let alone getting back together with me? I generally read the hexagram that he will not be back, but there is that part of the hexagram that persistence leads to success or the bit about continuing with regret to success which I don't understand.

the other question i asked was:

Is there anything I can do to get him back?

Got H 54.3.6 --> Again it wasn't the most positive hexagram as as someone outlined in one of the readings with this hexagram was that there are opportunities to form a relationship, but our perspectives are so different that it will not work. Also, i consulted a bioenergetic about this matter (i know i have lost my mind a little bit) and he said that i should not make a move, because i already gave too much to the relationship, it is he who should be approaching me if it happens. So this reading also seem to suggest that any moves will be misfortunate. So does it suggests to stay put if i want him back?

Again with maybe first reading the most I am not sure if i should interpret the answer as his feelings or advice for myself. If any of you wonderful people who already help me so much with the interpretations could help me with understanding this i would be yet again very very grateful <3 thank you!!
 
D

diamanda

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Got H 47.2.6 ---> Changing into what?
Got H 54.3.6 --> Changing into what?
 

Osenia

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Sorry, forgot to write this! And it doesn't allow to edit posts on here (never does argh!)

HEX 47.2.6 ---> HEX 12

HEX 54.3.6 ---> HEX 14
 
D

diamanda

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Thanks marijan.

Is he going to come back to me? 47.2.6 > 12
I more or less agree with your interpretation of this. 47.2 describes the relationship between a master and a servant. The master gives to the servant just enough food to get by. Were you very domineering in the relationship? Did you treat him as your servant? If yes, then indeed he couldn't take it any more, and he broke free (47.6). And he will stay away (12). If it was he who treated you as his servant, then 47.2 and 47.6 describes you. You were oppressed and broke free. If he was domineering and you broke free, then he won't chase you because he thinks you had enough.

Is there anything I can do to get him back? 54.3.6 > 14

54.3 says that you were not the only woman in his life. 54.6 says that an empty fake marriage is over (either you and him, or him and the other woman). In 54.3 there's nothing to be done - the mistress just accepts her lot. In 54.6 again there's nothing to be done.
Look here at the transition from 54 to 14. Hex 54 is a second-best female, not the main wife. The omen advises to transition from being a 54 to being a 14 in general (i.e. a great catch, a very popular female, admired by many men). So become a 14 type of woman. This might draw him back. And even if it doesn't, it will draw someone else.
 

Osenia

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Hi Diamanda,

Thank you so much for taking your time to help and for such a great inpretretation, I think it really rung truth here (if it is how the saying goes).

Re first question I think I was domineering in a sense, mostly cos of insecurities and fear to lose him (self fulling prophesy here indeed). But I also gave so much to this relationship, was the initiator since the beginning and generally dedicated a lot of my life to him, to help him find job, friends circle, opportunities etc. But I also wanted more and more of him in my life I guess cos i didn't feel fulfilled and he did say that it was strangling him and the relationship. I also had some social anxiety issues that he at first helped me to deal with but later on just frustrated him. I guess I see myself here both as a master and as a servant, although I might have been domineering on a superficial level, i felt he always had the power to end the relationship at his will. Either way the answer to simplify it suggests a no answer.

And with the second I did get goosebumps because there was indeed another women involved! Dear me! When he broke up with me he got with another person within the next month or few weeks, he said it was very unexpected and that there was nothing before, but I don't know who to believe. I did indeed still wonder if they are still together. I guess 54.3.6 then does refer to the other women? Also in our situation I thought we had a nice life together, a beautiful home together, etc. and I still am angry that he just jumped into a new thing, leaving all that we had behind. Good advice here about becoming HEX 14 women, have no idea how, but I guess healing does take time! Would it be a suggestion to accept my loss and move in becoming a confident lady haha?

Once again many thanks for your help, I found it really useful!
 
D

diamanda

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Hi marijian, you're welcome. In case it helps, here are some comments:

I think I was domineering in a sense, mostly cos of insecurities and fear to lose him (self fulling prophesy here indeed)
This proves to me that he was the domineering one who used you as his servant. It's not your fault that you lost him. As you say, you were the one after him from the beginning, and he always played the diva and gave you crumbs here and there. Your 'insecurities' were instincts, well-based on reality.

I also wanted more and more of him in my life I guess cos i didn't feel fulfilled and he did say that it was strangling him and the relationship
You wanted more because he wasn't giving you enough. The things he said to you sound like cheap excuses.

he said it was very unexpected and that there was nothing before, but I don't know who to believe
Men will almost never admit "I was having an affair while I was still with you". So I would disbelieve him, and believe the omen. Yes, 54 describes a non-monogamous relationship.

Good advice here about becoming HEX 14 women, have no idea how, but I guess healing does take time! Would it be a suggestion to accept my loss and move in becoming a confident lady
My advice to heal would be to become more realistic. It was obvious from the very start that this guy is not relationship material. Think back to all the signs. Think back to all the excuses he gave you. And reflect, find out how it all ended up as it is. Try to learn some lessons so as to protect yourself in the future from similar scenarios. When a guy says "he's got issues", "he's not ready", "he's yada yada" - RUN.
 

Osenia

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Thanks! Funny that I guess both readings were kinda saying it is over, there is nothing you can do, get over it. I still can't hide the desire to reconcile, but it seems like that is out of my powers here. As re another person, i believe that maybe there wasn't actual infidelity but that the spark must have been there before for sure. I wonder if HEX 54 points to the fake marriage being over of him and her :D I guess i will not know.

And I already attempted reconciliation and was turned down and it makes me angry that he would even find for friendship in this case, therefore I am thinking that the only way this could be possible if he made an effort. But I am probably hoping for the impossible here. Unless maybe thats what HEX 14 points out here.

Thank you for your advice <3, I think it is true that all the excuses as such is just a sign that a guy is not there 100%. I analysed all the pieces of the relationship and the break up so many times, that I am not sure it is possible to reflect more :D I think there were mistakes on both sides, but maybe next time I won't chase someone up who is not really giving it back so much.
 

Trojina

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I began writing an answer then decided not to post but think I will anyway.


So I asked I ching
Is he going to come back to me?

Got H 47.2.6 ---> I guess not a positive answer at all. I interpreted that it refers to his feelings being oppressed in relationship, not having freedom or losing individuality and becoming enclosed and isolated as he himself said. It refers small offerings that maybe a small steps that could lead to reconciliation? Or does the line refers to him being exhausted and unable to resolve his own issues let alone getting back together with me? I generally read the hexagram that he will not be back, but there is that part of the hexagram that persistence leads to success or the bit about continuing with regret to success which I don't understand.


You say later these weren't 'positive' answers and I wonder if we are talking about the same oracle. This answer shows feelings of oppression, of feeling held back where there need be none and 47.6 says this most clearly.


47>12 certainly doesn't look like light and joy but I do wonder how much of this is suffering that need not be especially if you cast off this sense of restriction you have and actually do something about it ?




Is there anything I can do to get him back?

Got H 54.3.6 --> Again it wasn't the most positive hexagram as as someone outlined in one of the readings with this hexagram was that there are opportunities to form a relationship, but our perspectives are so different that it will not work. Also, i consulted a bioenergetic about this matter (i know i have lost my mind a little bit) and he said that i should not make a move, because i already gave too much to the relationship, it is he who should be approaching me if it happens. So this reading also seem to suggest that any moves will be misfortunate. So does it suggests to stay put if i want him back?


I think any moves on your part must be 100% genuine, no game playing that won't work - I also wonder with 54.6 if you really do want him back or whether being where you are right now is just making you long for what you knew before ? I'm wondering if you need to ask yourself how genuine your wish to reconcile truly is. One way to find out is to spend time with him again I guess.

Again with maybe first reading the most I am not sure if i should interpret the answer as his feelings or advice for myself.


It doesn't feel like he would make the first move and he did end it but I also wonder if this wish to reconcile is about much more than him, he's just a symbol of something you had that you don't have now. Was it really that good or did you always feel like you were in 2nd place to his other concerns for example ?


I think this answer is Yi almost saying 'do you really want to go down this route which is not at all compatible with self esteem ?'. I wonder if the 14 is showing actually you are better off where you are even if it doesn't feel like it.


At first I did think 47.6 was telling you just to throw off restrictions and go for it - and indeed it is a line I like very much for it reassures you all your fears are nothing but creepers they cannot bind you.


Having taken in the other answer I now tend to think the 47.2.6 is advising you really need not feel so afraid or limited, you are actually in a much better place than you think and most of all you must understand you are not trapped. There is nothing to stop you living your life fully now and if that involves contacting him well at least it's action that releases you from wondering. But the 54.3.6 just doesn't look like it would do you much good to face rejection from him again. What do you think ?
 

Osenia

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Hello Trojina,

Thank you for taking your time to write such an in-depth comment, I really appreciate it. I probably read it like 10 times already and each time try to relate different feelings and also hexagram explanations. It is either my laptop or the site that doesn't allows me to either quote or edit comments, so i will just respond without quoting, but referring to what you wrote.

Yesterday what you wrote couldn't ring more truth and felt really empowering, today the intense missing feelings are back making me doubt how to situation I am is better off. Maybe it takes a long time to realise something is not good for you. Re positive - I thought we had a good relationship, yet I often felt a little undervalued like that he could do more, I wouldn't say it was an oppression in its direct sense, but maybe a lack. If what it is him who kept saying that he feels oppressed by my neediness and insecurities.

I guess as a simple answer to the first question hexagram 47.2.6 says no he won't be back or if he does there still will be the same form of oppression. Then reading some more things on 12 I thought that it might refer to me feeling somehow inferior to him throughout our relationship, lowering my esteem (which he obviously disagrees with). I guess it also points to our disagreement on "whose fault" it is that the relationship broke or general miscommunication.

Re 54.3.6. --> 14 I certainly not game player, i don't believe in those things and don't know how to play games to lure him in. I wish I did :D Your questions about genuine desire is right - I do miss the person he is, but i also miss stability, our beautiful home that we had, daily routine, jokes, chats, etc. And to spend time with him - it is kinda impossible since I moved countries cos of the break-up, but since it has been pretty hard I am thinking of coming back after in a few months, which is also not sure if is a good decision again.

I really cherished this relationship and invested a lot into it (probably too much) and i still think it was good (he said it wasn't just working, i still struggle to maybe understand that). But I also agree that what maybe Iching is suggesting that I was often feeling in the 2nd place to his other concerns and i guess + the other women straight after our relationship ended.

"I think this answer is Yi almost saying 'do you really want to go down this route which is not at all compatible with self esteem ?'. I wonder if the 14 is showing actually you are better off where you are even if it doesn't feel like it." --I think this is something that I hope to realise at some point! I agree that my self-esteem really plummeted.

Maybe what 47.2.6 is advising that I am the one who is in control of my life (although it sometimes really feels the opposite). It is interesting part that H 14 relates about possession is also about giving not only taking, which I felt that I did a lot in the relationship. Maybe it refers also that I have the strenght to recover? Also, i found the bit about hatred quite relevant, since I feel quite a lot of anger about the whole situation. Facing another rejection would be like a stab, so I certainly feel scared to approach him. I also feel scared to get even more hurt, so there is a feeling of fear for sure.

Wow that was a long message and I am sorry for such a moany nature of this response. I realise from one part how ridiculous it might sound from an outside, but sometimes it feels like walking in the dark and constantly bumping into walls on the inside!
 

Trojina

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I don't think the lines of 47 here are that bad and I think whatever we say to you this is one where you are going to need to apply it yourself.

BTW I had a 47.2 incident yesterday will copy it in from wiki but mean time 47.6 is pretty hopeful. Here it is from Hilary's translation

'Confined by trailing creepers.
Feels uneasy and unsettled.
Says ‘acting – regret’.
With regret, setting forth, good fortune.'



So this is someone who daren't make a move for fear of things going wrong when in reality nothing holds them back. Who and what does that refer to ? I won't know better than you do because you know all about the feelings and nuances in the situation. So I don't think you let anyone tell you he won't come back or even that he will come back I think this is one you are going to need to grapple with more.


Supposing the answer was about him ? Well then it would seem he's scared to make a move yet you know it's not like that he's rejected you twice so what's this line about ? I don't know but however painful this is there is a ray of light in there somewhere.


Here is a rather long winded 47.2 experience I had yesterday. It is a mundane matter with no connection to love relationships but you can see the gist of what is happening.



I took a new pair of boots back to the supermarket as they had a slight fault and exchanged them for another pair. On getting home realized I had left my NHS insoles in the boots I'd returned. These aren't easy to come by so I dashed back to the shop to see if I could get them back. The girl on customer service rang through and asked someone to check but they said they weren't there. I asked them to double check but they said there was no hope, if they weren't there they weren't there. Came home but was quite sure I had left those insoles in the boots. Asked Yi if I stood any chance of recovering those insoles ? Because I received this line, 47.2, I thought perhaps I needed to schmooze the scarlet sashes, at least it seemed to me it was worth trying to get around them, the shop staff, so I rang back later and got through to a manager who found the insoles within 5 minutes. This was a case where Yi definitely changed my course of action. 'Scarlet sashes come from all directions' felt very much like the rotation of staff which eventually got me back the insoles ! As practical advice for this line then I think it's worth juggling the scarlet sashes


Small authority figures 'scarlet sashes' were in my way and to get what I needed back I had to work around them. The girl who told me they weren't to be found didn't care, wasn't bothered enough to find them nor was her colleague so they got in my way. So I had to make more offerings and eventually got through a helpful person who understood what the loss of these things were to me.


How that might translate with any relevance to your situation is something you might have to figure out as my brain's going.
 

Osenia

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Thanks Trojina for getting back to me and for using your brain power to help me uncode the message Iching is trying to tell me, I really think that as an artist I should have good interpretation skills, but when it comes to omen they just seem to disappear!

I think initially I thought the line 47.6 was talking about him. Maybe the regrets of the split or regrets of previous experiences leading him to just be inactive, thinking there is no point try again if it ended (he had bad experience of reconciliation before and generally always used to say that none of the relationships last), but I also think it is my wish-full thinking speaking here and hoping that he is somehow wants to be back but it restrained by some fears or whatever. Like you said, I agree that I was approaching him a few times and he rejected that, so I think he knows that I want him back in a way.

I guess what limits me is of course the fear to face a rejection 3rd time, but mostly it is the fact that I just feel like it is almost unfair if it is me again going to approach him rather than that coming from his side. In this case things wouldn't really change that much and we might fall into the same trap of me feeling insecure and pulling him and him as a response getting overwhelmed and pushing away. Me getting frustrating with his lack of initiative and again nagging him and him again responding in defensive manner. Maybe that's what HEX 12 is saying? So this principle is something that holds me back. Thinking that the omen is suggesting I just go for it even if I (would) regret that I didn't wait for him to approach me, made yet another move myself and didn't see if he would come after me?

I liked your example a lot (also frustrating situation!!) and it was a positive inspiration. I think it spoke that things are possible to achieve, reconciliation in this case, but that I have to find a way around it? Maybe not be so direct, e.g. I want us back together straight from the first line of the conversation :D I like what was written in WikiWing about this line:

"It's good to respond with small offerings, gently opening up channels of communication, deepening and solemnising the experience, restoring alignment and harmony.

But with offers of new responsibility coming from all directions, how much do you really want? It's not at all rewarding to become responsible for expeditions to bring order to the borders. (Eg relationship reconciliation that means taking on the whole burden of the other person's emotional state.)"

I would think that the overall reading is suggesting to make small steps, maybe contact him as a small offering. But do not initiate the conversation about the getting back together myself. But that resulting hexagram 12 is rather unsettling.

In fact I will be in UK for a few days in December where he is from and although he doesn't live there now thought to maybe somehow subtly mentioning that I am coming. But I then question if this all is not a game playing and some tricky plan making, opposite to what HEX 54.3.6 was telling me.

I mean I am getting to understanding that this is not the end of the world, there will be other people, etc, i will get out of this state eventually. But the relationship just feels so unfinished and I just can't shake that feeling off.
 

Osenia

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P.S. I apologise for types in my post, dyslexia at its worst!

Apart from some random it and is mix ups, with the one before last paragraph i meant to say ill be in the city where is from but doesn't live there, lives in another city.
 

Trojina

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I would think that the overall reading is suggesting to make small steps, maybe contact him as a small offering. But do not initiate the conversation about the getting back together myself. But that resulting hexagram 12 is rather unsettling.


Good news is 12 is not the result, it's more like the context, where you are coming from - will link to recent discussion thread on it. Here it is



In fact I will be in UK for a few days in December where he is from and although he doesn't live there now thought to maybe somehow subtly mentioning that I am coming. But I then question if this all is not a game playing and some tricky plan making, opposite to what HEX 54.3.6 was telling me.


Yes I fear through such manoeuvres you make yourself very vulnerable to disappointment. I think either be very straight forward or don't approach him. As he rejected you last time you approached then it's definitely his job to contact you now. The marrying maiden doesn't choose but gets chosen. I fear if you went ahead and asked him to come back again you'd be in even more pain.

I mean I am getting to understanding that this is not the end of the world, there will be other people, etc, i will get out of this state eventually. But the relationship just feels so unfinished and I just can't shake that feeling off.


Well the idea that people just 'move on' after a relationship is one of the biggest lies of our time. Of course we don't, it takes a long time. One cannot invest one's heart in someone and then just order the heart to turn around and do something else. This is why it is so important to negotiate relationship terms from the start and probably why the customs of courtship and marriage evolved.


So I don't think you should be too hard on yourself about shaking it off, it meant something to you and still does.


Oh and re your editing issues this a forum bug affecting new comers. You can find help meantime in the FAQ section and I've lost the link to the right place there so if anyone else can sign post that would help.
 

Osenia

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So following Trojina's interpretation and kind help and my own urging desire shall i, shall i not I have asked the oracle:

What will happen if I approach him in order to reconcile one more time in a few months time and got HEX 11.1 ---> 46 (I know I am spamming now this thread with another reading, but it seemed silly to start a new one).

I think with all three readings together the oracle is suggesting for me to go for. I would in-fact take 11.1 as a very positive and encouraging reading to go for it, yet there is the bit of resistance and the entanglement of others (i guess if he is still with another person, which i don't know that might be the resistance). It also speaks of union and acquired strenght and I think I have built on it over the last 4 months. Now I am scared I am getting over-excited about this answer!

So even if I am reluctant and fearful to re-approach him I might give it one last go. Thank you for your both answers and help! <3
 

Osenia

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Strange thing - I didn't see your comment in the morning, it appeared only now! How strange! I think the forum bug is all over my account.

Thank you for the link about the relating hexagram, I will have a look at it and maybe understand my readings in a greater context next time.

Hmm, I am wondering now since I went ahead and cast another hexagram, which was 11.1 if I should still try to make a move or is it all getting muddled up. I am in the world of confusion it seems. I wish of course to get back together, but I do fear of another rejection and there again is that desire for him to make the move. Yet the hexagram i cast today put me in the whole new world of hopes and thoughts that maybe I should try again to ask to meet. I am also actually considering getting back to UK, i woke up today with a more certain idea that I don't like it where I have moved and whether it was encouraged by 11.1 and hopes of getting back or something else - i felt much better thinking i will be going back in a few months time.

You are right I will be putting myself in a vulnerable position and there is a lot of fear involved. I then think that maybe this is exactly what the 'creepers' were talking about. I get that what you saying that manoeuvres take time and patience and if he says no then it is all yet again waisted.
 

Trojina

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Hmm, I am wondering now since I went ahead and cast another hexagram, which was 11.1 if I should still try to make a move or is it all getting muddled up. I am in the world of confusion it seems.


There is a problem with asking too many questions about the same thing- it gets more confusing, you don't know which answer to take.


I wish of course to get back together, but I do fear of another rejection and there again is that desire for him to make the move. Yet the hexagram i cast today put me in the whole new world of hopes and thoughts that maybe I should try again to ask to meet. I am also actually considering getting back to UK, i woke up today with a more certain idea that I don't like it where I have moved and whether it was encouraged by 11.1 and hopes of getting back or something else - i felt much better thinking i will be going back in a few months time.


Remember self esteem is worth something thinking of the 54 cast. Now first he ended the relationship, then he rejected your offer of getting back together. In the light of that is it still a good idea to ask him again ? It puts you at a disadvantage (54) is not compatible with your own sense of dignity and also, call me old fashioned, but I don't think it works too well when the woman is doing all the pursuing, not romantic.

You are right I will be putting myself in a vulnerable position and there is a lot of fear involved. I then think that maybe this is exactly what the 'creepers' were talking about. I get that what you saying that manoeuvres take time and patience and if he says no then it is all yet again waisted.


Yes indeed there were the creepers. But also bear in mind he already knows you want him back so if he wanted to he could contact you but hasn't. Not a nice thought, a hurtful thought but it might save you from making a move you later regret.

It's one thing being heart broken but you don't want to lose all sense of self worth by sort of begging him do you.


It is entirely your choice of course. Let us know how it goes.
 

Osenia

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Thank you Trojina. Your answer did get some sense into me not to contact him with hopes to get back together as it might just provoke an even lower sense of self-esteem. And even if my running after him would be the way for us to get back together, I would always question why didn't he do it if he wanted? Why is it always me? Does he really love me, etc.

Nevertheless, I still think I was really happy with him and I think as much as I remember would cherish our moments together and be really grateful to wake up next to him. And it is hard to give up on the connection that I thought we had. Not sure if this was somehow delusional since the relationship has ended.

Receiving 11.1 gave me hope to try again, but at the same time made me think: "oh but it would be me pursuing him again, why can't it be another way round?" So reading your comment I thought of it a bit more realistically. I will not approach him, maybe one day he will himself and my wish will come true haha :) Tho again it is probably as realistic as pigs starting to fly.

Thank you for taking your time to write such insightful and helpful comments, I indeed found some strenght in them.
 

Trojina

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Thank you :bows:

I think pride/self esteem is actually a useful saviour to us because when in love we will do anything
to be with the person but we need that instinct of self preservation to stay intact, whole as a person because being rejected really damages sense of self worth. In order to avoid total self abnegation there has to be a point where we say to ourselves 'no I'm not going to lose myself further I'm not going to be injured further - I love myself too much :)' I think consciously expressing love and acceptance to yourself can be very healing at times like this.
 

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