Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
And yet you say "broke because of my too dominant attitude". What does that mean actually? Did you order him about...? Did you act like a man? (?) It's really hard to tell who is who here.As for the role of primary and secondary hexagrams, it turns out the first one represents the person in question, the second one describes what he could be needing of me. I feared the primary could describe me
As for the role of primary and secondary hexagrams, it turns out the first one represents the person in question, the second one describes what he could be needing of me. I feared the primary could describe me
MeltingPot247
Hi mm
,I asked the same question yesterday and received the same answer, using coins.....
mmvvdd80
But we're still in touch, meeting sometime to spend time together with his 10 years old daughter (he's divorced), but having no sex.
Hi mmvvdd80,I asked the same question yesterday and received the same answer, using coins.......Interestingly enough, my s/o at this time advised me not long after we met, that he is dominant...and he could tell that I wasn't submissive by nature - however as I viewed him as an Alpha, i.e stronger than me, I was more than happy to let him take charge...yet we ended up in an equal position somehow. I'm not sure if he expected this to happen. I sure didn't because I was in awe of him when we first met, as I think of myself as average and wondered how and why on Earth did we meet ...as others have said above, there seems to be a lot of desire but 'no sex'...and that is my situation with him now I guess - he knows that I desire him and I know that he desires me...and if I am as in tune with him as I think I am, than this hexagram means that he wants to hold off having sex with me again in future and I also want to refrain...because there is a lot of power being exchanged in the act between us. I'm assuming here... but your mate might just be trying to build up his energy and strength in order to try to match or exceed yours if you end up in the bedroom together.
Hi Freedda, thank you for the links. I'm just a beginner and hadn't had the time to read it all through, while the situation is a painfull mess as usual and I'm too subjective and nervous, not trusting myself with separating wishfull thinking from reality. So I decided to bother you all with direct question. I'm definitely is about to study I Ching thoroughly.mmvvdd80, First, there are both free and reasonably-prices lessons available on this site which include the primary-related hexagram relationshipSecond, if you were to search the posts for 'related' or 'related hexagram' I think you'll find quite a few posts about this. Third, my take is that it is more art than science, but I don't often start by thinking of the related as being the future or the outcome of the situation. Instead, I usually start by seeing the primary as the situation or the overall field of play of your situation: i.e. you might look at it as this (the primary) kind of situation. And I often start with the related as: you may want to look at or approach Situation A through this (the related). One is then situation; the other is an approach to it. And again, even though I think this is a good starting point, it is often more fluid and dynamic than that. But I believe it is always good to think in terms of relationships: the primary is related to the question, and the lines and related to the primary. Fourth, I don't really think that the Yi reads others' minds; instead, I think it is giving insight and advice on one's own feelings and relationship to the question or issue. (I know others don't share this approach.) So, if someone asks 'does X like me?' I usually think the response is exploring: 'here is some insight about your feelings towards and relationship with X.' I feel it gives people more personal responsibility and options they can act on, rather than relying on what others think and feel. Finally, sometimes the Yi seems to give advice in a 'contrary' way; so if it says 'this is bad' I don't often read it as 'you are sh-t out of luck,' but instead it could be 'if you take this approach, it might not turn out so well' which of course gives the option to do something different. There is a sticky at the topof the 'exploring divination' forum which discusses this subject.
Thanks, it's interesting logic, I'm gonna to rethink some of my old readings in this perspective.Finally, sometimes the Yi seems to give advice in a 'contrary' way; so if it says 'this is bad' I don't often read it as 'you are sh-t out of luck,' but instead it could be 'if you take this approach, it might not turn out so well' which of course gives the option to do something different.
You're welcome, glad you found my reading helpful.And yet you say "broke because of my too dominant attitude". What does that mean actually? Did you order him about...? Did you act like a man? (?) It's really hard to tell who is who here.
However:Going from energetic and straightforward (1) to manipulative (9). This is your answer - no matter who is who.If that describes how he wants you to be, then he does not want you to be submissive. He wants you to be manipulative. If you want to figure out a strategy to get back together with him, you'll need another cast.
I'm sorry, I just cannot figure out how you people format text so nicely... Line breaks would be especially precious...
it's not obvious for me where is manipulation in hex 9. I understand hex 9 as an issue where feminine controls musculine and it's an obstacle.
Wilhelm calls it "keep the tyrant somewhat in check by friendly persuasion". Tuck Chang calls it "a small one plays games with the large; this suggests a battle of wits".
We've been together for 2 years with this person, everything seemed to be fine. He left me abruptly, without any conflicts and quarrels, saying we're too different and he has to take a pause to clarify to himself what he really needs in a relationship.
The pain repeatedly makes me hide away from the facts and wrap myself in illusions. It goes in circles. First I decide I'm over with it. Then I cannot bear the pain and invent ways to make it all last somehow. I'm really really grateful you shared your perspective on this situation. I embrace facing the facts. It's just because of living in total isolation from society now (avoiding contacts with our friends who know and see him), I'm definitely prone to sinking into the illusional universe where he's secretely missing me and is too shy to make first step
Wow, just wow. Thanks a lot! I would never come to this conclusion, though I thought of control issues, since me and the person in question broke because of my too dominant attitude. But we're still in touch, meeting sometime to spend time together with his 10 years old daughter (he's divorced), but having no sex. So I'm trying to decide what strategy is the best to save the relationship. It's difficult because I'm too active indeed, and he definitely needs a woman to be submissive. Which I'd like to implement as well, if only I could find a balance between being more yin and having to take the initiative...Maybe it's better to wait and see now. Anyway I'm now quite sure what is the problem.
Hexagram 1.4 Someone Dancing in the Abyss or in some translations, across the abyss.
For me dancing is a sensual, potentially romantic act and hex 1 as I understand is about creation - and where creation and dancing is involved, I see relationship potential.
However, the definition of abyss - a bottomless pit and/or a wide or profound difference between people; - relates to her love interest labelling them as too different.
Then the relating hexagram 9 - small changes, gave me the impression that there would be a chance for the relationship to go further if a more gentler approach towards him would be taken based on his expressed wishes, which to me sound very reasonable.
Giving the loved interest what they asked for in this case - appears to be a simple request for time out and space .. with no pressure to commit or to make relationship decisions- because someone else wants them to.
People deserve the right to be themselves and to remember who they are when no one us around.
Men and women deserve to be at peace with themselves...and it sounds like others on this forum don't believe this guy needs the time out that he's asked to have from the poster.
Taking that into consideration, it sounds like he has a really valid and good reason to press pause on this relationship, and that he now wants time and space to be himself, on his own or with his daughter.
….sounds really weird to me. Why would you want to meet with his daughter if you aren't really with him ? Why woul dhe need a woman to be submissive ? Soes he have the idea he would be harmed if she was simply who she was without the dubious tag of 'submissive' ? If he thinks women should be submissive what a pity he is rearing a 10 year old girl ! Now sexually, in the bedroom, if all that turns him on no problem for him or for you if you like being the submissive and he likes being dominant BUT to take that dynamic outside of the bedroom can only end in confusion and tears because of course it's not real.
My s/o's readiness to contribute to my contact with his daughter puzzles me. It's not easy for him to find a time slot in her schedule, to organize it all. So maybe he just want's my help in bonding with his daughter. Maybe it's just his politeness. It's very important for him to be a knight in his actions, so leaving me must damaged his self-esteem and maybe he's just trying to atone for his decision.So every time we meet I have this pull of details on how he acts and reacts regarding me. There's kindness, affection, shyness, blushing, etc. The problem is I'm afraid to be pushy, initiative, etc, this attitude might be the very reason he broke up with me. On the other hand I want him and his child in my life of course and am afraid to loose the chance by doing nothing instead of something. Same old
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).