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47.3.4 > 48 .... what is the feeling now?

Lana73123

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A friend of mine, B, texted me that he needed to see me and talk. He mentioned he was “leaving the hosptial”. He came over and told me that one of our friends had a heart attack was put into an induced coma. He was very upset. I hugged him and didn’t say a lot. I said the usual “he will come through this. We have to pray for his family for their strength”... etc. which is truly how I feel. In these situations I don’t tend to become over-emotional but quiet and calm. So We sat quietly for a few minutes and he he said he needed to just go home. It was like he was expecting me to “act” a certain way or something. I’m just not sure. It didn’t end bad it just ended.

As back ground - B and I have been in a hexagram 54 relationship for over a year. We go from hot to cold, anger to love, etc. it’s a rollercoaster. Currently we are in a calm state of easy going interactions after a huge blow out fight last week.

So I asked first - what was all that and got hexagram 20.5.6 changing to hexagram 2.
I kinda think that was just exactly how I reacted - detached and calm. Trying to be strong.

But I just have this awkward nagging that there was something that I “didn’t do” or something. So I asked “how is he feeling about me now” and got hexagram 47.3.4 changing to hexagram 48.

That one I don’t get. I don’t feel that I oppressed him or anything. The interaction lasted all of 30 mins maybe and a lot of it was in silence. Maybe was my detachment received by him as “cold” and therefore the oppression comes into play ??

Any insights? I’m really confused.
 

Trojina

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A friend of mine, B, texted me that he needed to see me and talk. He mentioned he was “leaving the hosptial”.


The way you write of this is very divided. Above you write of him as a 'friend' then say

As back ground - B and I have been in a hexagram 54 relationship for over a year. We go from hot to cold, anger to love, etc. it’s a rollercoaster. Currently we are in a calm state of easy going interactions after a huge blow out fight last week.

So I asked first - what was all that and got hexagram 20.5.6 changing to hexagram 2.
I kinda think that was just exactly how I reacted - detached and calm. Trying to be strong.

That doesn't describe a friendship but an intimate relationship such as lovers have. So he's not your friend he's your partner right ? So why are you calling him your friend ? You asked 'what was all that ?' and got told it was what it looked like nothing more I think.


I'm just reflecting back that within a few paragraphs I feel all the instability of this because you are calling him a friend yet describing something else altogether. Also your 'calm state of easy going interactions' doesn't sound real, it's a bit of performance I think if you are on the roller coater of extreme emotions you don't just become calm and easy going together - you know it's going to flip back.

But I just have this awkward nagging that there was something that I “didn’t do” or something. So I asked “how is he feeling about me now” and got hexagram 47.3.4 changing to hexagram 48.


Well are you together or not or is he a friend ? You would treat someone you are with as a partner/boyfriend quite differently to how you would treat a friend in this situation wouldn't you ?

That one I don’t get. I don’t feel that I oppressed him or anything. The interaction lasted all of 30 mins maybe and a lot of it was in silence. Maybe was my detachment received by him as “cold” and therefore the oppression comes into play ??

Any insights? I’m really confused.


Normally I'd say if you have nagging doubts and get 47 then it's about you. It's rarely useful to try to get inside other people's heads via Yi you end up more confused as you have done.


However in this instance the answer seems so literal, it describes exactly what he did. This is what he did, it's clear isn't it

47.3 from Hilary's translation

'Confined by stones,
Grasping at star thistles.
Entering into his house, does not see his wife.
Pitfall.'



He came to your for comfort but didn't get what he needed. If you were his 'wife' or the person who stands for his wife he didn't see you. This is a terribly painful line because we seek comfort where there is none to be found. He shouldn't have come to you because you weren't the person who could help him is maybe what he feels although I always think it is very daft for me to tell you what he thinks - there is one way to know what he thinks and that is to talk to him. Line 4 tends to make a quite a procedure out of that which could be more simple. I think line 4 might be saying he wanted more immediacy, more reaction not prayers for the guys family but comfort for him - that's why he texted you for comfort which he doesn't appear to feel he got looking at the line. He may feel you were just 'going through the motions' (line 4) rather than actually being with him emotionally.


I think 48 here is the resources he was drawing on, you. I would say he felt you didn't provide what he needed at that time. You sound to me like you are trying to make distance by calling him a friend when he is more than a friend which does sound cold and would confuse him I imagine. It confuses me anyway because my sense of it you write of him as if he were a troublesome child and you are the calm grownup ? Well maybe he needed more intimacy than that, maybe he needed to stay over night with you or something I don't know.


I rarely attempt mind reading via Yi I think it is a huge disservice to the one who is being mind read, they should be able to speak for themselves rather than have their minds read by as stranger on the internet who claims to know their inner thoughts !


So I think you should talk to him obviously rather than take my word for it.


I don't think it's a reassuring reading so I think you do need to talk to him and maybe define to yourself what 'friends' would expect of each other and what partners would expect in such situations ? Why would you say you would pray for the guy's family when the person who needed your prayers the most at that moment was your boyfriend ?


Don't shoot the messenger will you, I mean you did ask what the feeling was and it's hardly a reading I can sugar coat. You need to be on the phone to him don't you rather than asking us ?
 

rosada

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What was all that?
20.5 Seeing and 20.6 Being Seen, and 2. there wasn't much more one could say.

What is he feeling about me now?

47.3 He came looking to you for comfort or something but really what can anyone do?
47.4 You said all the things one is supposed to say in these situations but there are no fast answers here.

I don't think this indicates any sort of hostile feeling towards you - more like a confirmation that he came to you to be with a friend during a difficult time but like the carriage of 47.4 that moves slowly, there is no way to speed up the process and you couldn't wave a magic wand and make it all better.

I think getting 48 as the resulting hexagram is hopeful for both your relationship and the heart attack victim's eventual recovery.
 

Lana73123

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Thank you, Trojina, for your reply. I understand where you could get some those responses. The situation is far more complicated than this instance. The thing Id like to answer back to is that yes, we are friends, and yes we are intimate. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. We have a very frangible relationship, but there is something karmic going here and Im trying to figure out the lesson I need to learn so I can move on. Thus far, no amount of pain or love can get us closer or farther away from each other. Its ridiculously stubborn and magnetic.

Rosada, thank you for your reply. I appreciate your simple definition of 20.5.6. I think all that wife commentary gets confusing and I sometimes find it hard to place myself in the story and understand the context of the answer. Also Im glad you said there isnt hostility in 47.3.4. After sleeping on it and re-reading the lines and what you say - I see that it just was what it was. He kinda creates this Atlas persona for himself, that only he carries the burdens and no one can relive him of his duty . So I think no matter what I would have said or done - it would not have relieved him. So while I wasnt able to sooth him like a mother soothes her child, I also didnt create anything negative.

I appreacite both of yalls time and input here.
 
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Lana73123

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I think something else that could, in a simple way, shed some light on this relationship ....
he is a Capricorn (Jan 19) and Im an Aquarius (Jan 23).
Thats like trying to cut a steak with a butterfly wing....

sometimes it is like ....one of these things is not like the others
 
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rosada

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Well if you want to talk astrology...
Uranus - the planet ruling shakeups, freedom and independence - is hovering at the last degrees Aries and first degrees of Taurus these days. This means it's making a very harsh square aspect to his sun in the last degrees of Capricorn and your's at the first degrees of Aquarius. This is an aspect that shakes one's foundations and makes it difficult to make solid plans or keep commitments. You might get value from looking up the meaning of "transiting Uranus squaring natal Sun" on AstrologyCafe.com or ask the I Ching, "How best to navigate my relationship with Uranus squaring our natal Suns?"
 

Lana73123

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Rosada - I absolutely love this!! I will look up all of this. I never had a strong enough math brain to figure out all of the squaring and trines and aspects. Lol.
All I know is I am Aquarius sun, Libra moon, and Virgo rising.
He is Capricorn sun, Leo moon and cancer rising.

I dont know a bunch but I think I know enough to say that looks like .... one of these things is not like the others. Hahaha. I just wish we could get passed our karma. Thats what it has to be ..... why else would I keep going back and why else would he keep coming back.
 

Lana73123

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Rosada - I absolutely love this!! I will look up all of this. I never had a strong enough math brain to figure out all of the squaring and trines and aspects. Lol.
All I know is I am Aquarius sun, Libra moon, and Virgo rising.
He is Capricorn sun, Leo moon and cancer rising.

I dont know a bunch but I think I know enough to say that looks like .... one of these things is not like the others. Hahaha. I just wish we could get passed our karma. Thats what it has to be ..... why else would I keep going back and why else would he keep coming back.
 

Lana73123

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So, Rosada, I did a cast “how best to navigate my relationship with B with Uranus squaring our native suns” and I got
Hexagram 6 unchanging !!!!

Wow just wow. That about sums up this whole relationship - nothing I do is ever right, good enough, etc. I am always battling with him in some way and he is so stubborn that I can never win. Well, win is really not the correct word - more of he will never admit any fault or see my view or compromise in any sort of way. I have had to adopt an attitude of laissez faire in all regards with him. It’s quite ridiculous really but again, I feel like it is karmic becuase we just can’t stop.
 

rosada

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Wow indeed.. You might get value from going over to the "Exploring Divination" area and reading the thread on Hexagram 6 Unchanging.

Meanwhile, the Image often gives good advice for how to be in the situation described by the hexagram. The Image for 6 says something like, "Agree to what you're agreeing to before entering into a commitment and you will overcome all reasons for conflict in advance." With Uranus, the Great Disrupter, this might mean having some sort of agreement like, "If either of us decides we want to change our minds about anything we can speak up and the other one promises not to have a hissy fit." Or maybe you could have a "safe word" so when you find you're starting to get uncomfortable with the way the conversation is going you shout "rutabagas!" and the other one knows to back off. I had a friend who's husband talked a lot and she suggested they have a safe word for her to use when she just couldn't listen anymore. He agreed and invited her to come up with a word or phrase that she could use whenever he got too long winded. She choose "Shut the f++k up!". It's worked like a charm... :rolleyes:
 

Lana73123

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Omg. I can’t stop laughing.
Shut the F$ck up!!!

I will read the 6UC

Thank you. I can’t tell you how much this means in this time. No words. Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️
 

sylvia1ching

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That one I don’t get. I don’t feel that I oppressed him or anything. The interaction lasted all of 30 mins maybe and a lot of it was in silence. Maybe was my detachment received by him as “cold” and therefore the oppression comes into play ??

I do not think it is he you confine, I have a very strong suspicion it is you that is being oppressed. The hexagram is TUI above KAN below. The image of a depleted lake..exhausted lake...oppressed lake...it gives the impression that not only you but the relationship is exhausted. There is nothing more to say..
 

Trojina

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Thank you, Trojina, for your reply. I understand where you could get some those responses. The situation is far more complicated than this instance. The thing Id like to answer back to is that yes, we are friends, and yes we are intimate. Those two things are not mutually exclusive.


They are. If you are friends and intimate you are neither one thing nor the other and the relationship is not based on anything stable. The term 'wife' was used in line 3. He was looking for his wife but didn't find her presumably because she's just his 'friend'. Friends don't have so many responsibilities as a 'wife' or 'husband'. I think he may have felt you owed him more.

Have you actually talked to him about this yet ? It's far more important than talking on here.

Also 47.3 is a painful line - it isn't just a 'well there's nothing I can do anyway' kind of line. It's a line that hurts someone and I think it's him/was him by the sound of it because we know it isn't you as you weren't the one looking for solace and not finding it anywhere you would rightfully expect. There is a let down in line 3.




We have a very frangible relationship, but there is something karmic going here and Im trying to figure out the lesson I need to learn so I can move on. Thus far, no amount of pain or love can get us closer or farther away from each other. Its ridiculously stubborn and magnetic.


Well just because the relationship is messy doesn't mean it's karmic more likely to mean it's not quite honest, or the expectations of one another aren't at all clear and they wouldn't be with friends who sleep together, hence the rows and so on. Where is the commitment for caring and sharing every aspect of one's life ? It sounds like something you both disown, avoid taking responsibility for since by terming the relationship 'friends' then technically you aren't obliged to do the things wives and husbands would actually do and I think that because of line 3.


Regarding astrological transits remember these happen within you they aren't imposed upon you as if from some malicious god from the outside. Hence you would feel the Uranian urge within you, as an intrinsic part of you. It isn't like a storm or some sort of external 'weather' you need to pass through, it's within you.


So you don't yet know what he thinks about the hospital situation if you've not yet spoken to him - and there's no point at all in hanging on the idea of karma since that is unknowable so that leaves the pair of you in a sort of no mans land where you are intimate but not emotionally intimate enough to enough to offer the full support and wife or husband might give. Therefore it's not surprising there would be a bit of a rollercoaster because no one knows where they are really so it's quite demanding.


Hexagram 6 confirms that. You do expect different things. Perhaps you should talk more about what you both want and need, especially need. If nothing you do is good enough for him as you say then his needs aren't met or he feels they aren't so in which case it can't really go on that way without getting more and more rollercoasterish.

And the question was about what the feeling was now, his feeling - and you got a very clear answer about his feeling which I think should be taken seriously, taken into account , if you were serious when you asked the question which I think you were.
 
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