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Hexagram 41.2.3.5 > 37 In regards to a relationship? A bit confused

pink_panther

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I had a brief relationship with a man at work, but unfortunately we had a tiff and the relationship ended after 2 weeks. This was approximately 3 months ago. Since the breakup, he continues to tell me he misses me but hasn't directly asked me out again or asked to reconcile. I have attempted to meet him halfway and invited him out to dinner, but he acted super akward and nervous. He is a bit younger than I am, and not very experienced.

I asked the Sage, "how will our relationship progress at this time?" and got:

41.2.3.5 > 37

I understand line 1 as meaning to be kind with him but not to be too pushy or try to direct things in any particular direction and line 5 sounds very positive. But line 3 confuses me. I am pretty sure there is no 3rd party in this situation. The only person I can think of is a nosy coworker who lives nearby to him and 'spies' on him. This lady is an older lady, married with kids, and I have never gotten the impression that he is in the least bit interested in her.

Is line 3 suggesting that I move on and find someone else, and then I get the benefits of line 5? Or is Line 3 suggesting keep the older woman at bay, (as she has tried meddling and asking a bunch of questions about us). Since we work together, we tried to keep the relationship "hush, hush" and no one suspected anything except this lady.


Since I was confused I asked "Sage, could you clarify the meaning of 41.3" in this situation? and got:

25.2.3.>1

Line 3 makes it sound like someone is going to come and whisk him away...Does this sound accurate? Or how can this line be interpreted?

Just to confirm, I asked "Sage, can you advice if there is a romantic 3rd party?" and got:

49.1.5.6 > 50

Sounds like the Iching is telling me to settle down lol.


Sorry for the lengthy post....just a bit anxious :(

Any advice or help interpreting these lines would be much appreciated!

Thank you :)
 

pink_panther

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So looking at the lines over again I'm thinking this is what the original reading meant.

Line 2- If you want to work this out with this guy, be kind but don't overdo it or do anything that sacrifices your dignity.

Line 3- If you continue being present for him, he cannot miss you. When he sees that you are not settling for some pseudo relationship with no clear definition of what we are in regards to a couple or what, he will eventually come to join as he is lonely.

Line 5- Someone does indeed increase him, ten tortoises cannot oppose it.

When we were just talking prior to dating and while we were dating he was very very much into gift giving. Nothing crazy but small thoughtful gifts, such as books, flowers, coffee, poems etc. Possibly its suggesting this will resume in time?

Hexagram 37 suggest a family, and everyone in it's proper role.

I just fear I'm interpreting this in a a way that fits my "wants" and not the reality of the situation.. :(
 
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Freedda

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Confused? So am I ...

I asked the Sage, "how will our relationship progress at this time?" and got: 41.2.3.5 > 37

I understand line 1 as meaning to be ...

I see that you're not looking at Line 1, but at LInes 2, 3, 5, so good.

Sometines what is confusing to me is when someone gets a reading and instead of taking the time to figure it out, they then ask more questions, which just leads to more confusion, at least that's my take on it. It also makes me wonder if they're shopping around for an answer?

So, I am glad it looks like you're exploring 41.2.3.5 > 37 before running off to something else ...

41 is about decreasing, or settling. Could it be that right now is the time to settle back and accept what's happening? This does not precluse that you try telling him directly what you're feeling and that you'd like to talk about what's happened - only that you may then need to step back to see what the reaction is.

The lines 2.3.5 (not 1) suggest being steadfast. And maybe your best outcome will happen if you 'go it alone' - maybe to not complicate the relationship with other involvements? With all this, there could be opportunity, but perhaps you have to hold back a bit (as in, not running off to other Yi readings?) - settling - for it to come to fruition.

I wonder, with 37, is the underlying issue for you about wanting family, a clan, something (or someone) safe and familiar? If so, maybe this is even more reason to settle back, read the signs, and see if this guy is the right fit and is 'family material' for you.

Just my take on it. David.
 

pink_panther

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Thanks David, yes I agree I did go a bit off the deep end asking so many questions. I find myself trying so hard to get a definite clear answer (or the answer that I am wishing for) and end up getting more frustrated. Should have stopped after the first reading and focused more on just meditating and learning from that.

Thank you for taking the time respond!
 
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Freedda

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Thanks too for your response. I've seen people ask a dozen questions in a row, involving half the hexagrams in the Yi, and I always wonder, where's the wisdom in all that. It's like someone going to a counselor and saying, 'in the next 45 minutes I'd like to bring up my 12 cores issues and resolve them all. Ready ...?'
 
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diamanda

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how will our relationship progress at this time? 41.2.3.5 > 37
41.2 says there could be some benefit, but don't expect anything great. Friends with benefits?
41.3 there is (or was, or will be) a third person, and one of the three will be dumped.
41.5 the dumped one will find someone else quite soon.
37 a family.
So I'd say you won't form a solid relationship with this guy, but with someone else.

could you clarify the meaning of 41.3 in this situation? 25.2.3 > 1
This cast describes someone who doesn't want to cultivate a relationship, and prefers to go around stealing. Resulting 1 shows that this is a restarting situation, i.e. this is how the person functions. Since it doesn't sound like this describes you, then it describes him. He's not relationship material, he's a hunter. So he's the one who will cheat.

can you advice if there is a romantic 3rd party? 49.1.5.6 > 50
There was definitely another woman when you two got together, as 49 denotes two women.
49.1 he had a steady girlfriend.
49.5 a complete and very clear change, so they probably broke up.
49.6 means one of the two changes clearly, the other one just pretends (?).
And 50 means cooking something new.

In conclusion, he cheated on another woman with you. If you get back together, he will cheat on you too. However, 41.5 is super hopeful for you, I believe you'll soon find a compatible and serious partner.
 

pink_panther

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Wow very interesting interpretation.

It's possible this person had a girlfriend but it seems more likely that he is hung up about his ex-girlfriend from many years ago. He mentioned to me he has only had one real relationship before, that the girl broke his heart and that now he has trouble trusting women. (Sounds a bit of a stretch, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt). Based on how he behaves around me, he doesn't strike me as a lady's man and is kind of akward and unsure of himself. Could be an act, but he seems sincere.

The 3rd party mentioned in the initial reading I definitely feel is this mutual coworker (the more time passes). Part of the reason he broke things off was that he was fearful we would get caught together (I am in a position higher than his. I don't manage him, but he feared that if word of our relationship got out, it would negatively affect his job down the line). I suspect that our coworker (who is lives nearby to him) saw us together and confronted him about it.

Since the break up (he asked to stay friends), he continues to tell me how miserable he feels and how much he misses me. However when I suggest meeting up, he recoils, only to wait a few days and shower me with gifts. SO its a bit confusing as to how to proceed at this point?

Also of note, since the breakup the older female coworker has made several remarks to me, fishing to see if I would divulge any kind of information suggesting I had a relationship with this person (which I denied). I can't help but think she had something to do with his sudden fear of being caught. There was no big fight prior to the breakup. He just suddenly got "spooked." Initially I chalked it up to him being inexperienced and immature but, as time progresses I can't help but feel like someone else contributed to this...

Thank you very much for taking the time to respond! It's appreciated ! :bows:
 

pink_panther

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Just wanted to give a quick update on this situation. The person is question did not come back around, however there was an incident where the third party got in trouble for meddling with my ex partner. At the end of the day, the ex partner continues to give vibes that he wants to be together however he continues to keep his distance.

A big part of the problem was too many nosey people were getting involved and caused the other person to freak out over the situation causing him to end the relationship aburptly. As of now we are still not together nor do I forsee a reconciliation, however the issue at work revolving a nosy coworked who was butting in has been resolved.
 

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