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What will be the result of my action? 36.3.6 > 27

heatwave

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I've written here recently about a man I work with and used to date who has very strong feelings for me that make me uncomfortable. Today I was extremely impulsive and told our mutual work friend everything that's happened between us from my point of view. Sometimes I get worked up and mean when I talk about this guy, and that happened today. This mutual friend did hear me though and I think will encourage the guy to stop hoping or pining and maybe tell him some of the things that I said :weep:.

I feel sick and worried about what will come of this. When I asked I cast 36.3.6 > 27 and am not feeling any more at ease. I'm wondering if the contextual hexagram is my inferiority in controlling my speech in this situation. Willhelm says of 27 "Thus the superior man is careful in his words..."

36.3 seems to be telling me that maybe I will make small progress somehow here. Maybe the mutual work friend will say something and that will make a small difference.

36.6 sort of snuffs that out, no? Am I the exuberant woman plunged into the earth? I could certainly be described that way. Don't like the sound of it here, of course. I wonder if my self-righteous behavior will bring about an incredibly negative event.

I'm at a loss with this situation now and don't know how I ought to be in it. The 23uc I received in the recent past seems impossible. He's always around and unavoidable at work. I don't have a new job yet so something's got to give. I also asked what if I reach out and talk to him directly? (though I don't know what I'd say) and cast 30.4.6 > 36

30.4
looks like a no go. Maybe he wouldn't be receptive. Maybe I'm getting desperate and ahead of myself in thinking anything would come of this.

30.6 I wonder if this is telling me that if I do call, it might not amount to much (4) but I will be better able to see what's not so bad about the situation. Maybe I'm making it worse than it is. I don't know.

I'm clearly all out of sorts lately. Any light someone could shed or blind spot of mine pointed out is so appreciated.
 
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marybluesky

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Hello Heatwave!

You have 36 for both questions that refers to a hidden reality (how the guy makes you feel).

What will come of this? 36.3.6 > 27

Carefully talking (27) about the hidden reality (36).
36.3: "Illumination concealed, going south hunting, catching the big chief; hasty correction won’t do." You have hit the point- the big chief. Maybe your coworker goes tell him? Don't expect instant results, but you did well to share the story with your coworker. Weigh your words if you're going to reveal more.

36.6: "In the darkness of ignorance, first ascending to heaven, later going underground." The guy has been unaware of what a bad impact his behavior had on you. He had his head in the clouds. He'll have both his feet on the ground afterwards.

What if I reach out and talk to him directly? 30.4.6 > 36

Clarifying (30) the Hidden Brightness (36)- or the unknown reality.30.4: "The coming forth is abrupt, burning, dying, abandoned." He doesn't expect this and will be annoyed. He seems to leave you alone after that, however.30.6: "The King went forth to set things to rights and, blessed by heaven with victory, he destroyed the leader of the rebels; but he did not chastise the rebel followers -- no error!" This line clearly refers to going forth and being direct which brings good fortune. "No error"- that's the right thing to do. You destroy the "leader of rebels"- get rid of the annoyance (interesting, as the leader is mentioned in your other reading, too); but don't harm the followers: this will have no bad effects on your work/ relationship with coworkers.

Both readings advice you to make the things clear to the guy, indirectly or directly. The latter seems more effective, albeit.

Good Luck!
 
F

Freedda

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Heatwave, some names for 36 are "Brightness Obscured," and "Enshrouding Oneself," which can mean to hide ones 'light' to protect it, or to save it for another time.

In your situation it could mean that you should be hiding your feelings from the person who is bothering you, not to feign friendliness, but just that now is not the time to be so revealing. So, regarding your friend, you may want to talk to them, maybe something like:

"I know I talked to you opening about Y, but I really, really, really don't want you to share what I said with him or with anyone. Can you hold this in confidence, just between you and I? (or whatever words work for you) And then maybe make them pinkie-swear that they'll do this!"​

This way you'll have some hand in keeping hidden what you're not ready to reveal, or at least you're trying to.

I can't say for sure how 27 - "Hungry Mouth," fits into this, but some of the words from the Image (Thunder beneath the Mountain) are: "The noble young one, accordingly, is careful with words and expressions ..." This seems to fit well with 36, maybe to be careful how you nourish yourself in this situation - maybe by not being too revealing, however appealing this might seem.

I hope that is helpful for you. Best, David
 
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heatwave

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I just realized I did not respond to this thread! Sorry, I thought I had. I did read and mull over your responses, but the result of my action happened quickly.

A few hours after I talked to this coworker, he went directly to the man I talked about and told him what I said. Apparently this coworker had been encouraging the guy to hold out hope for me all this time and essentially told him to stop doing that. I knew the next day that he was told something because he basically hid himself from me for the entire day when normally we are always in each other's line of sight. Apparently, he told the coworker that he wished I would have said all of that directly to him. I thought I had done that ages ago, but ok.

I almost immediately felt a surge of relief but also with that a surge of empathy. I spent the next couple of weeks continuing to consider whether I should reach out to him directly to explain and also apologize for some of the things I've said. I reached out yesterday and set a time to meet this weekend and feel a new wave of anxiety and panic but I am hoping things go well.

Thanks for taking the time to respond. It is always read and appreciated.
 

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